Melancholic
Chapter Seven

'1982: And I began to see'

"Hey... Are you okay?"

Shannon sat on the edge of Jessica's bed, her eyes more downcast than a wet April day, staring at her hands in her lap. Shannon coiled her fingers together over and over again- making no movement, not even flinching, as her fingernails dug into skin.

It didn't matter.

The pain she felt in her hands was irrelevant- almost laughable- when compared to the pain Jessica and Mammon's words had caused her a few days ago. Shannon wasn't a particularly strong person- she wanted to make other people happy, her whole life was based around pleasing others and all their opinions mattered (far more than her opinions and feelings did, because Shannon was only a maid)- and, whilst she'd developed a resistance to the teasing of the other maids, Shannon had never...

She'd never had to defend herself against Jessica before.

Jessica had said something cruel, something thoughtless; and whilst it was true Jessica hadn't understood what impact her words would have on Shannon, and it was true Jessica hadn't been acting out of any real malice (rather, it was a desire to talk to somebody who would listen; and Mammon, despite her cruel broken-glass smiles that could've drawn blood, was a person, and she would listen, and that was enough).

There had been no hate behind Jessica's words.

Jessica had not been trying to be cruel.

After all, Jessica would never have tried to hurt Shannon on purpose.

Shannon's mind did tend to wander, and whilst she did question the nature of 'people' from time to time- what did it mean to be 'good'? What did it mean to be 'bad'? Weren't the lines blurred? Nothing was black and white; and if the culprit in a mystery novel had a sufficient whydunnit, couldn't you sympathize with them? Did you have to hate them? Or did the crimes they'd committed outweigh any good points they might have possessed?- Shannon had never questioned Jessica.

She'd never question her friend.

She'd trusted Jessica.

And Jessica hurt her.

Jessica's words had cut far sharper than any knife could- digging right through Shannon's flesh and embedding themselves in her heart; her fragile heart filled with fairytale happy endings and wistful dreams and love, so much love, until it all oozed out of wounds on her body like blood beading round wounds. All of a sudden, Shannon wished she'd never become so close to Jessica- never gave her that scarf or helped her make those chocolates or watched her play onstage with her face wreathed in smiles, bathed in light- because having friends meant having blind sides where people you trusted (people you cared about) could strike at you with thoughtless words that didn't mean much to them-

But meant everything to you.

Maybe being blind to the world was better than being hurt by it...

Jessica was a kind girl- a boisterous, blustering shell that enclosed a soft, sweet centre- and Shannon was glad she'd been so close to Jessica; was glad she'd made a friend; and she didn't really wish she'd never become closer to her, but...

People were like hedgehogs.

The closer you got, the more they hurt you.

And, most of the time, they didn't even realize they were doing it.

It was just human nature.

Natural.

And painful.

It hurt...

It hurt to breathe.

Shannon could only sit on the side of Jessica's bed, her fingernails dig dig digging into her palms- her mind swimming, her heart thumping.

Jessica gave Shannon a worrying look- and then the blonde took the guitar from her lap, placing it on the floor. Normally, Jessica was more careful with her guitar- it was her pride and joy, and even though she'd had to buy it from Miku second hand for a fraction of its usual price she'd saved up to buy it herself, with her own money ("because mom would never let me do something so 'unladylike'; for her, it's like, violin or piano or nothing, and the violin isn't that bad, but it really hurts your shoulder after a while. I'm aiming to be the next Jimmi Hendrix!" Jessica had said once, her eyes shining, and Shannon had laughed). However, Jessica's care for her guitar had been sidetracked, somewhat, by Shannon's unresponsive nature.

Jessica... did care.

Shannon could tell, by the way her eyes softened, she smiled gently, and said- her voice so soothing, so unlike her usual tones, that she could've been singing a small baby to sleep- "Hey, Shannon... What's wrong?"

Shannon flinched- her fingernails biting into the palm of her hand with more force than before.

Shannon wanted to tell Jessica; she really did. She'd told Jessica everything; how she felt shy around crowds of people, how the other maids would tease her, how she sometimes felt inferior to Jessica because she was only a maid…

But, no- Shannon hadn't told Jessica everything.

She hadn't told her about Battler.

That was Shannon's promise- her secret, between herself and Battler and nobody else, because nobody else would realize just hw much it meant to Shannon- and Shannon knew Jessica, even though she was her best friend, wouldn't understand the magnitude of that promise from two years ago ("they say things they don't mean")-

Shannon didn't want Jessica to laugh at her.

Shannon could withstand the cruel words and taunting smiles of the other maids, but if Jessica started mocking her too…

Shannon didn't think she could handle it.

"Shannon," Jessica continued- her voice still soft, gentle, almost tender. Maybe Natsuhi had spoken to Jessica in those very same tones when Jessica was younger; but if she had Shannon had never heard it- Natsuhi's voice was always so cold, so prickly, it was difficult imagining her acting 'maternal'. But Jessica must have learnt those comforting tones from somewhere. "You've been acting sort of... distant... for a while."

Shannon debated replying for a while. As she did so, the silence between the pair dragged and dragged- until it was almost unbearable. The heavy, oppressive weight of silence fell upon Shannon's shoulders; making her feel short of breath, almost dizzy. Her fingers trembled all the more. She knew she couldn't leave Jessica sat there, waiting for an answer; not when Jessica cared so much.

Too much.

But if you trusted people with all your heart and soul- if you tried to embrace a hedgehog- you'd get hurt.

You'd be almost inviting somebody to take advantage of you.

You'd be inviting pain.

Needles would be driven through your chest and heart and mouth so you couldn't even scream – and then you'd bleed to death.

"I-I..." Shannon stuttered, still stabbing her fingernails against her flesh; almost as if she were trying to remind herself she wasn't dreaming (why would she ever dream about being so uncomfortable around Jessica?) "I-I haven't... really..."

Jessica only sighed.

Then- moving as if in slow motion- Jessica reached forwards, and pulled Shannon's intertwined fingers (linked together as intricately as metal chains- but Shannon shuddered when Jessica's hands brushed against hers, and the chain links grew slack) and pulled them apart. There were small, off-white, crescent-moon shaped grooves embedded into the palm of Shannon's left hand, where she'd been lancing her own skin with her fingernails. It was a good job Shannon's nails were relatively short (tending to long nails whilst trying to mop the floors or dust shelves would've been an unnecessary nuisance; and long nails would only have become chipped, broken and infested with grime), or she could have drawn blood.

Shannon looked at Jessica with wide- almost nervous- eyes, her heart thumping in her chest as Jessica's hand caught hers; as Jessica took hold of her hand and didn't let go.

Jessica's face was set with determination; stubborn and obstinate and, above all, caring.

"I don't know what's wrong, but you've been acting distant ever since the family conference," said Jessica, her blue eyes staring intently into Shannon's.

Shannon squirmed; it felt as though Jessica was trying to crack open her head and get to all her confused thoughts inside, as a vulture would feed on a carcass; but it wasn't that, Shannon knew, it wasn't that at all.

Jessica wasn't like that.

Jessica wasn't like Mammon.

Jessica was worried, and she was maybe just a little bit scared, and she wanted to help.

"Did mom scold you or something?" Jessica continued to speak, a small frown passing across her lips. "Is that why you've been avoiding me...?"

"I-I haven't been avoiding you-"

"But the last few times I tried to talk to you, you'd say you were busy, or you had something else to do, or... or..." Jessica's face contorted through a series of pained emotions, her voice trembling like the frail body of one who was terminally ill. "O-or, sometimes you wouldn't even make any excuses at all; y-you'd just turn around and leave and n-not even say why! W-what's wrong? Did I do something wrong?"

Jessica's words were like spines to Shannon's heart; each one hitting her with more intensity than the last.

Jessica's skin was too pale, and her body was quaking, and her eyes... Her dark blue eyes looked suspiciously misty; and Shannon couldn't help but worry, with another stab of guilt, that Jessica was going to cry.

Shannon had been so wrapped up in her own problems she hadn't noticed Jessica.

And, at the same time, Shannon had thought Jessica was blind to her sorrows..

But Shannon was the one who'd been really blind; it was always Shannon who was the blind one.

Jessica was far more perceptive than Shannon gave her credit for (a lot, lot more)- and Jessica wasn't blind to other people's emotions in the same way Shannon was, because Jessica had been around people for most of her life and she'd tried to fit in, she'd tried her best, even if trying to amalgamate herself with 'normal' people her age was like trying to a bash the wrong piece of a jigsaw puzzle into another's place; and Shannon hadn't even realized how upset she was making Jessica because she was selfish- horribly, horribly selfish.

Shannon had thought she'd moved on- she thought she'd grown up- but she was still living in a world comprised of herself and Battler and that promise made more than two years ago.

In her own sorrow, she'd shut Jessica out.

She hadn't wanted Jessica to hurt her anymore.

But Shannon hadn't quite realized she, herself, held the ability to hurt Jessica in return.

It was... surprising.

Almost scary.

Shannon was a lowly maid- and she shouldn't have held that much power over Ushiromiya Jessica.

She shouldn't have been able to make her cry.

Nobody should have been able to make Jessica cry.

Shannon had begun to liken human beings to hedgehogs ever since she saw Mammon's barbed wire smile that cut and stung through fragile fairytales, but she hadn't realized she had spikes of her own. She'd become too close to Jessica; and friendship was a two-way thing, wasn't it, because if Jessica could hurt Shannon surely Shannon- when she tried to pull away, tried to extract her own spikes and spines and roots of firm, fast-growing friendship and love (there was so much love; and Shannon was good at loving people foolishly, with all her heart, without thinking about it first) out of Jessica's heart, she hadn't been able to.

She'd done it clumsily.

So Jessica had hurt Shannon.

And Shannon had hurt Jessica in return.

That was the result of friendship.

The real result.

But...

Shannon knew that wasn't the only result of friendship. There was more to human company than pain; and friendship could spawn so many other wonderful memories, like light-hearted snowball fights and late night sleepovers and the warmth of another's touch.

The love in another's heart.

There was more to friendship- more to human relationships- than being hurt and getting hurt.

There was being loved.

And loving in return.

Too many times had Jessica comforted Shannon, trying to give her motivational talks to boost her morale, trying to force her to do new things because "it's not that scary if you only try"- and now Shannon knew she had to comfort Jessica.

It was true, yes, that Shannon had been trying to move away from her friend (her only friend) because... Because Shannon was still horribly selfish and childish and thought only of herself, and she was scared of being hurt and she wanted to cling onto her fairytale dreams just a little longer; but there was more to life than Ushiromiya Battler, and there were more types of 'love' than the 'love' she had shared between Battler two years ago, and if the thorns of friendship embedded in Jessica's skin had cut too deep then Shannon couldn't possibly try to pull away.

She wanted to.

She wanted to pull away more than ever.

But you couldn't destroy two years of friendship just like that; no more than Shannon would let Jessica's casual, throwaway comment destroy two years of her budding love for Ushiromiya Battler.

It was a trial of love- and now, a trial of friendship- and Shannon didn't want to lose.

She still... wanted to see the world for what it was...

Even if it hurt her.

Those thoughts rushed through Shannon's mind in a matter of seconds- all mixed up with doubts and fears and the desperate desire to run, she wasn't that strong, that all this love would kill her and corrode her heart to twisted metal and ash- but Shannon had already made up her mind; and she liked to think her face was determined, and not shy at all, as she pulled Jessica into a warm hug.

Jessica started as Shannon's arms wrapped round her middle; and Shannon swore she could hear Jessica's heart beating (or maybe it was hers; she couldn't tell).

"S-shannon...?"

"I'm sorry," Shannon muttered into Jessica's shoulder; and she was glad Jessica couldn't see her expression, because she was sure she was blushing. "I'm sorry... I-I didn't want to hurt your feelings... I-I just wasn't thinking properly; I wasn't thinking about you. I was being selfish."

Jessica continued to tremble for a while, a leaf in the breeze, as Shannon hugged her close- but, after a short pause, Jessica gave a small sniff, and all but melted into Shannon's embrace.

When Jessica next spoke her voice was muted, fragmented, and maybe a little bit shy- but she no longer sounded as though she were about to burst into tears.

And that was a good thing.

That was…

That was good.

Shannon didn't want Jessica to cry.

Not now; not ever.

"I-it's... It's okay..." Jessica said quietly; her words as soft as cherry blossoms landing on the ground. "A-all people do selfish things... from time to time... I-if there's something seriously wrong with you... M-maybe it's selfish of me... t-to bother you about it..."

"It's not selfish," said Shannon consolingly. "You're not a selfish person. I am."

"Shannon... D-don't be too hard on yourself. We're all human."

Human.

Jessica was a human.

But wasn't Shannon furniture?

…No.

Furniture… didn't have the capacity to feel so much pain.

So much love.

Shannon- gave a shaky nod…

And then she smiled.

"Y-yeah… We're all human…"

"Nobody's perfect," Jessica replied- and Shannon could hear the smile in her words, bright and illuminating, like fields of sunflowers. "N-nobody. But we can try, right?"

Jessica began to pull away from Shannon's embrace- and Shannon was left with a sudden, cold feeling of loss as Jessica's trembling form no longer pressed itself against her; tried to find protection in her arms.

Jessica's hair was messier than usual, and her skin was pale, and her eyes were rimmed with red that suggested tears; but, with a shaky motion, Jessica drew her sleeve across her face, trying to catch any stray tears that had escaped from her eyes.

When Jessica finally set her arm back down in her lap, she was smiling, ever so softly.

This Jessica seemed frail, somehow. Fragile. Doll-like. This was the girl Jessica had sung about at the cultural festival; the shy girl, the awkward girl, the scared girl, who tried to hide behind a barrier- tried to plough forward in life despite her faults and fears, even though she wished, deep down, she could show her real self to somebody.

This Jessica was nervous and jumpy and easily embarrassed; a little bit unsure of herself, and just a little bit melancholy.

Maybe a little jaded.

But that small, barely-there smile, lacking in confidence even though Jessica was trying (trying so hard) to convince Shannon, to convince herself, everything was alright, was perhaps the most dazzling thing about Jessica Shannon had ever seen.

Shannon felt her cheeks flush light pink despite herself; because, in that moment, as the dim overhead lighting played across Jessica's face, Shannon swore...

She'd never seen anybody- or anything- quite so beautiful.

Shannon's heart beat faster and her thoughts began to race; her fingertips trembled, and she wasn't sure whether she wanted to pull Jessica closer or try to run away (far, far away) from this sickening, dizzying, almost electrifying mix of emotions she'd never quite experienced like that before-

But Shannon had already made up her mind, hadn't she?

She'd said she wasn't going to run.

She'd said...

But even Shannon, with her limited knowledge of how 'friends' interacted with one another, knew this was more than a simple 'friendship'.

It was far more.

It was...

S-she was half afraid to admit it, even to herself- and the nervous thump-thump-thumping of that hummingbird heart locked up in her chest began to increase, beating its wings faster and faster- but...

But...

Then Jessica began to laugh- her old, bright, cheerful self again- and the spell was shattered.

"I'm sorry," Jessica apologized, grinning her mischievous grin- that was both a relief and, at the same time, a crushing disappointment. "I was being silly. Kind of hormonal. I guess I'm getting to that horrible awkward teenager-y phase. I was trying to avoid it, 'cause I don't want to be crying over every little thing like mom, but..." Jessica shrugged. "What're you going to do?"

Shannon could only nod- amazed at how quickly the transformation had taken place.

It was as if this Jessica were a completely different girl.

"Hey, Shannon~" said Jessica, snaring a pillow within the cage of her smiles- resting her chin atop of it whilst smiling at Shannon. "You should stay here for the night. Y'know. Like you used to- because we're friends."

Shannon flushed slightly at the stress Jessica placed on the last word; 'friends'.

They were friends; they'd engaged in childish snowball fights and given each other Christmas presents, they giggled over inconsequential things and tried to comfort one another when they were feeling upset- but friends didn't blush or stutter from the slightest contact with skin, and whilst Shannon poured her soul into everything she did, it wasn't normal for 'friends' to feel such love for each other, was it?

It wasn't normal...

Shannon wanted to be 'normal'. She wanted to fit in with the other maids; she wanted to be good at her tasks; she hated being singled out all the time- by the others and their snide comments, by Natsuhi and her short temper, and (apparently) by Kinzo and his 'favoritism' towards her that had resulted in her obtaining her own room.

Shannon knew befriending Jessica was fairly abnormal- even unheard of- for a young servant like herself; it was out of place, out of line, and it was a wonder Natsuhi hadn't scolded her about that (or maybe Natsuhi herself had realized how lonely Jessica was, and didn't want to upset her daughter further. Despite being very authoritarian, almost draconian, Natsuhi was a kind mother who truly had the best intentions, and Jessica's best interests at heart).

But Shannon's friendship with Jessica seemed to have evolved into something beyond that- and she wasn't sure how, or why, and Shannon didn't know what to do.

It would have been cowardly to run away; but the image of Jessica, sprawled out in her sleep with her arms round Shannon's middle, was enough to make the maid flush red.

"U-um..." Shannon said, her heart stuttering just as badly as her sputtering heartbeat. "T-that's true, but-"

"No 'buts'," said Jessica; and though her voice was light, Shannon caught a definite hint of... was that hurt?... lining her words.

"I-I know, but Jessica-"

"I only just got you back," Jessica interjected; and her smile began to waver, slightly, into something that tugged at Shannon's heart in the most peculiar of ways. "I feel like we've been drifting apart for a few days, and I just got you back. Don't..." Jessica sighed- a horribly earnest sound; completely truthful. "Don't leave me again."

It wasn't a request; far from it.

Jessica's voice was desperate.

And it was pleading.

The spines had been driven in too deeply- the roots of love had dug too deep, cut too far, into Jessica's heart- and Shannon could see it (all that raw emotion, all that pain) that sparkled in Jessica's eyes despite her small smile.

It was too late.

Shannon...

Couldn't turn around now.

She'd gone too far.

"I-I won't leave you..." said Shannon- and when she spoke her mouth felt dry, her words turned to ashes in her throat.

"Do you promise?" asked Jessica, almost shyly; looking up at Shannon from under her eyelashes. The light continued to play across her pale skin, bars of light flickering through her blonde hair- turning it golden.

Shannon nodded.

She felt light-headed, breathless- and hadn't this scene happened before? Not between two shy girls trying to cling onto a falling-apart friendship before it cut them both so badly it bled, but between a younger boy and a younger girl, two children, who were innocent and naïve to the ways of the world.

"They always say things they don't mean."

Jessica had said that.

And maybe Jessica herself realized promises weren't concrete, and nothing lasted forever- but even she (the confident, self-assured Ushiromiya Jessica) sometimes wanted to pretend real life would be okay and everything would end happily.

Sometimes, even Jessica...

"I promise."

...wanted to believe in promises like that.

Even if she really didn't hold much faith in them at all.

"Shannon..."

Shannon rolled over to look at Jessica. The blonde girl was half-asleep, her eyelashes fluttering closed against her skin every few seconds- even though she was trying, desperately, to keep her eyes open. It was a strange sight; usually, Jessica was so full of energy. However, Jessica's near brush with childish tears seemed to have drained her; and she'd been happy, for most of the evening, to just talk idly about anything and everything under the stars with Shannon, not putting too much meaning behind her words.

Relief.

Shannon had seen relief in Jessica's face more than anything. Relief that she still had somebody to talk to. That somebody would still listen to her incoherent, sometimes unintelligible, babblings. Shannon doubted Mammon would do such a thing; that brown-haired, cruel-eyed maid was more suited to share gossip with, rather than hopes or dreams or secrets.

Things like that could be torn apart too easily by carless words.

Gossip was different.

Gossip wasn't as personal.

Mammon was a realist.

Jessica was a realist too; but not all the time.

When Jessica was with Shannon, she seemed to dream more; and her face would light up, and she'd laugh like the child she'd never had a chance to be, owing to her strict upbringing.

Jessica had been so relieved that Shannon hadn't pulled away from her- that those painful spikes of friendship were still embedded into her heart (because trying to pull glass out of a wound hurt even more than when the glass entered skin, didn't it?)- that Jessica had been reduced to a sleepy state far more quickly than usual.

When Jessica spoke Shannon's name her voice had been slurred, almost lost in a haze of sleep; but it was important, Shannon knew, because Jessica was struggling (really struggling) to keep her eyes open.

"What is it?" Shannon asked, her brown eyes flickering over Jessica's rumpled form.

Jessica's arms were curled round her pillow, her hair untied, curling about her shoulders. Her eyes were startlingly blue- so much like Battler's; just like them, in fact.

Jessica was so pretty...

"W-why..." Jessica paused, her words engulfed by a yawn. "W-why... did you stop being my friend...?"

Shannon felt her heart freeze in her chest, as the sleepy Jessica blinked owlishly at her from above her pillow.

"W-what do you mean...?"

"I mean... W-when we were younger..." Jessica's words were still thick, syrupy- punctuated with yawns, as her lashes fell closed once more. "W-we used to be so close... You an' me an' George... An' Battler." Jessica frowned. "And then... Then you stopped."

"I stopped?"

"Y-you started hanging out with Battler more... W-whenever he was over, you always... always with him. A-and then you stopped talking to me, too; even when Battler wasn't there. Y-you'd... Look away... W-walk away... Whenever... Whenever I tried to talk to you... A-and I didn't know what I'd done wrong..." sleep-slurred Jessica; her words thick with a childish kind of hurt and confusion the young, eight or nine year old Jessica must have felt when Shannon (her best friend) began to become more distant.

Each word- each stammer, each stutter, and every pause for breath- caught Shannon in the heart; a horrible, crushing kind of guilt grinding the ice-cold beat-beat-beating of her hummingbird heart underfoot.

How long had Jessica been stuck with that loneliness?

How long had she tried to get Shannon's attention- before (in a direct contrast to her own beliefs, "if you don't try you'll never succeed") she'd given up?

How long had Shannon been blind to just how much Jessica was hurting?

Shannon had been sure (or maybe she'd never been sure- she just tried to convince herself, to spin herself lies, because she hadn't wanted to think about it too much; she hadn't wanted to feel cruel) that the root of friendship between herself and Jessica had grown tentatively, over the past two years- but she was wrong.

She'd been deluding herself.

Those roots had always been there.

And, one day- her eyes so filled with love for Battler, and her head belegaured with the guilt she shouldn't have become so close to him (but she could sever bonds with everyone else; would that make her love acceptable?)- Shannon had pulled those roots out of Jessica's heart in a bloody, painful mess.

Jessica had been hurting.

Just... how long had Jessica been turning their past friendship- their earlier- friendship over in her mind...?

Shannon didn't know what to say.

She didn't know if there were any words she could say.

"J-jessica..."

"D-don't leave me alone again..."

There was a small flurry of movement, as Jessica squeezed her pillow round the middle with more force- but, evidently, she decided that wasn't enough; it wasn't comforting enough. Jessica threw her pillow aside- and though her movements were slow and awkward, as though she were moving through water, she managed to cast it aside with little difficulty.

Jessica's voice was more urgent, more frantic, when she next spoke; and her previous sleep-induced haze seemed to have cleared, somewhat, in the face of her newfound panic.

"I-I was only a child, I-I didn't know what I'd done wrong... A-and I was convinced it was my fault, but-"

"It wasn't your fault," said Shannon firmly, her voice cutting through Jessica's babble. "It wasn't. It was mine."

"...Shannon."

"W-what?"

Shannon was just a little unnerved to find Jessica's eyes were open once more; dark blue staring intently (far more intently than they should have done, considering Jessica's half-asleep state) into her own.

"Shannon," Jessica repeated- frowning, fumbling for words. Choosing words was a delicate craft- and Jessica wasn't known for her gentle nature. "Shannon, did you... fall in love with Battler...?"

Shannon felt her cheeks flush at that question. Had she really been that obvious?

She prepared herself to deny it- to say it wasn't true (it was wrong and improper and servants weren't meant to love their masters, it was her secret; it was meant to be a secret)- but Jessica's small, knowing smile stopped her. So, instead, Shannon paused; and swallowed her words.

Jessica wouldn't care if it was 'improper'. Jessica was, after all, the girl who invited her own servant into her bed for girlish sleepovers; of course she wouldn't care.

Jessica may have been an Ushiromiya, but she wasn't her mother.

She wasn't 'stuck up', as the people in her class had said.

She wasn't that at all.

And, all of a sudden, Shannon felt rather guilty for assuming- even for a few seconds- Jessica would be upset; as if she'd betrayed Jessica's trust.

Instead of lies and blatant denials, what came from Shannon's lips was- instead- the truth.

"Y-yes... I did..."

"Did?" Jessica asked curiously. "Don't you anymore?"

The answer should have been simple; a simple answer for a simple question. But, as Shannon opened her mouth- the words... wouldn't come...

Why had she used the past tense?

It was true, she had loved Battler- and she thought she still did (if she didn't, why did it hurt so much when he didn't come back? Why did she lie awake every night and wish upon shooting stars for his return?)- but they'd been young when they made that promise; and Shannon felt like she'd matured a lot since then.

Her life wasn't solely focused around Battler anymore.

There was Jessica, too.

Jessica, who was so soft and shy yet bright and bouncy too, who pushed Shannon along when she faltered and always tried to cheer her up; who looked so very beautiful it made Shannon's heart freeze- and Shannon was jealous of her, envious, and yet...

She cared about Jessica.

She really did.

She loved her.

Her heart didn't solely belong to Battler...

So how could she answer that question?

Shannon closed her eyes; ashamed of herself for even doubting her own feelings (but wasn't it natural humans questioned themselves; didn't everybody feel like that from time to time?)

"I-I don't know..."

And then Shannon felt herself being drawn into a hug- a warm embrace much like before, except this time it was Jessica with her arms round her, Jessica's breath ghosting across her face and Jessica's arms protecting Shannon from the fears and uncertainties of the outside world; encased in the bed covers and surrounded by Jessica's arms.

"It's okay not to know... Love is a scary thing. Especially with an idiot like Battler. That'd be pre~tty terrifying," said Jessica, smiling. "I-I can forgive a girl in love... for acting a little selfish..."

Shannon felt her face flush, as Jessica prodded with her ribs with one of her fingers.

"But don't leave me behind again, okay?" said Jessica sternly- her voice suddenly sombre, although she prodded Shannon a few more times to emphasize her point. "Don't. Or I'll cry. And that won't be a pretty sight."

Shannon couldn't help but return Jessica's smile; even though her heart was beating so quickly it felt like it was going to burst.

"I-I won't. I already promised."

"Good."

Shannon shifted awkwardly, as Jessica's eyelashes pressed together; a curtain of inky black that seemed darker, somehow, in the still silence of Jessica's room.

"U-um, Jessica..." said Shannon hesitantly, after a few seconds had ticked past. "W-would you let me go?"

Shannon didn't expect Jessica to reply; she was half-convinced Jessica had fallen asleep. But, after her nervous, stuttered question, a mischievous smile began to twitch at the side of Jessica's lips; and when she answered, her voice was stern.

"No."

"B-b-but-"

"I won't let you leave," Jessica continued, her voice deadly serious despite her smile. "I'm making sure you keep your promise- the only way I know how."

a/n: these two are so friggin adorable I don't even XD
Huh. You know what's going to happen in the next family conference though, don't you? ;A;

~renahhchen xoxo