Tony stood outside Ziva's hospital door, fidgeting slightly out of nervousness. He cleared his throat for perhaps the sixth time in the last five minutes and his hands wrung nervously, intertwined with each other. He was a little surprised that his shirt collar had not started leaking considering the way he was sweating under it.

To put it in layman's terms, he was terrified.

How the hell could he not be? It had been two days since Ziva had been nearly killed- twice. One of those times, she practically had been killed- she had been clinically dead for a few minutes. That itself had been more than enough to scare him. To scare him more than he ever imagined he could be.

And yet now, with Ziva medically cleared to leave the hospital and return to active field duty in the next week, he found himself with an even bigger feeling of worry in his stomach than he had before. No longer the sense of fear that ripped him up when he thought he had lost her- not in that sense anyway- but rather one of uncertainty. The feeling of uncertainty of how things would be between them.

After everything that they had been through together, through all the ups and all the downs- and there had been a hell of a lot of both of them- he was truly scared that he had ruined things between them for good. After all, he had admitted the one thing he never thought he would tell her in person- the one thing that he thought would never be more than a mere fantasy in the back of his mind.

He had admitted he loved her.

I love you, Ziva.

How the hell had that come about? The mere fact that he thought Ziva had been dead? The guilt he felt when he believed he had been responsible for her 'death'? He honestly didn't know. And he had no idea on what to do now that it was in the open.

Another inescapable reminder also hung in his mind; the fact that he had heard her whisper those same words.

I love you too, Tony.

Where had they come from? Did they have any true meaning? Or were they the figment of the mind of a woman who was dreaming that it was he who was dying and she was saying anything in order to not let go of the life she knew? Was it an act? A mere desperate ploy by the feverish mind of a clinically dead woman?

He didn't know- but he was going to find out.

Taking a deep breath, he knocked on the door and at once heard her voice speak up. "Come in."

He slowly opened the door and took in the sight before him; Ziva was sitting on the side of the bed, dressed in her usual work clothes, staring at the wall opposite her though not really taking it in. She turned her head when the door opened and Tony could see that although the ashen colour of death that had coloured her face was now long gone, there was still an element of paleness in it. Recovering from an ordeal like this wouldn't be easy on anyone- even Ziva.

"Tony." In that moment, Tony saw it in her dark brown eyes- it just a flash but it was there; that fire and brightness of the old Ziva. He couldn't help but give a little smile.

"Hey Zee." He closed the door behind him. "How you doing?"

Ziva held her head high. "I am fine, thank you. A little sore and bruised but I am fine. I will be able to return to fulltime work by the end of the week."

Tony smiled again. "I hope we'll be able to survive as an agency without our deadly little ninja chick."

There was a hint of a smile on Ziva's face as well but it was very brief. If Tony had blinked he would've missed it. It was gone again and replaced by a neutral look as Ziva went back to staring at the wall.

Tony made a cautious move forward. "You mind if I sit down beside you? These hospital chairs are almost as bad their meals!"

His attempt at lightening the mood seemed to fall short; Ziva merely gave a brief nod and continued to stare and the wall.

Tony sat down beside her and took a good look at her. Even though she had recovered perfectly from her bullet wound and the poison which had been injected into her bloodstream (which Abby had had a field day trying to identify) had long been filtered out of her system, there was still an underlying sense of sickness in her face- not of the physical type, but more of the mental type, as though whatever it was praying on her mind and it would be wise not to try to push her too hard.

He was somewhat surprised when she took the initiative to begin the discussion herself. "I never got the chance to thank you… for saving my life."

Tony stared at her. "It wasn't me, Zee. It was the doctors. If anyone saved you, it would be…"

"No." She cut in gently. "McGee already told me everything that happened; how everyone had given up on me and took me for dead. Everyone but you. It was your persistence and your refusal to give up that ensured that I came back. If it was not for you, I really would be dead."

"But you don't understand!" Tony gestured with his hands in frustration. "It's my fault you were here in the first place! If I'd have been quicker back in that warehouse, you never would've gotten shot. And if you hadn't have gotten shot, you wouldn't have been here in the hospital. And if you weren't here, those assassins would never have had the chance to… to…"

"Kill me?"

"Don't you see, Ziva?" Tony said wildly. "If it weren't for me, you'd never have been in this situation! I almost got you killed- not once but twice! What kind of a partner is that?"

"The human kind." Ziva replied firmly. "And also the loyal kind when it became necessary. Yes, you made some mistakes that could have cost me my life but you corrected them. You did not just dwell on the subject; you made sure to fix them and for that, I owe you my life."

Tony looked away and stared at the wall for a moment, and then gave a brief chuckle.

"What is so funny?"

He stared at her, still smiling. "Role reversal. Usually it's me that's telling you that you need to feel more human and not just as a machine. And I have to say that I think I'm rubbing off on you in that area. I mean, after all, sometimes you just need to shout your emotions to the world!"

There was a brief silence. "Tony…"

The ex-cop immediately tensed up. "I'm sorry Zee, I shouldn't have said that. That was stupid of me. I wasn't thinking." There was an awkward silence. "Maybe I should just wait downstairs." He made to get off the bed and head for the door.

"No Tony, wait." She gently held onto his arm. "It was my fault; I should not have said what I did when I came to back then."

Tony merely shook his head. "Come on Zee, it's not like you had any control over it."

"But I should have; I had no right to put you in an awkward spot such as that. I should have controlled myself better than that and not said… what I said."

"It's not your fault." Tony said firmly. "If there's anyone to blame, it's me. I'm the one who started it off by saying what I did and I shouldn't have tried to…"

He trailed off and looked at her. "No. You know what? No! I'm not sorry I said what I said! I meant it- each and every word of it and there's not a snowball's chance in hell that I would take it back and do anything differently!"

"Tony…"

"No Ziva, I'm tired of doing this! I'm tired of pretending! I'm tired of telling myself that it doesn't matter because it does matter! I've been telling myself the same thing for the last five years and frankly I can't stand it anymore! Every time I think about you, it's in the back of my mind and burns like hell. Well, you know what? I'm not going to let it burn me anymore! I'm not going to keep my feelings bottled up like this anymore! So yes, Ziva- I meant every single word I said and I'm not sorry about it. So here it is- I love you, Ziva. I've loved you from the first day I saw you and I've loved you even more since then!"

"Why, Tony?" Ziva spun to face him directly in the eye. "Why would you love me? Look at who I am! I am not the type of woman you bring home to meet your parents or invite for a holiday dinner with the in-laws! My father did his best to turn me into his own mindless killing machine in his own image. I retained at least some part of my own mind and will but the basic structure is still there. I was brought into this world for the soul purpose of killing, not loving. My body was designed for the purpose of taking life, not giving it or cherishing it. I have always been taught that showing emotions is the worst kind of weakness you can have, and that falling in love pretty much guarantees your death back in Mossad."

"But you're not in Mossad anymore, Ziva! You're a fulltime NCIS agent. You're an American now."

"That does not change what my father instilled in me!"

"Your father doesn't control your life, Ziva! You do! Yeah, even I gotta give the guy some credit for giving you your skills, but you are the one who decides how to use them. And you can be proud of what you've done with them."

"Proud?" Ziva stared incredulously at Tony. "The skills I learned in Mossad were for the sole purpose of extracting information- very painfully in many cases- and killing people, Tony! What is there to be proud of in that? Fine- you want me to be honest with you? I will be. I love you too, Tony. I have no idea why I do, seeing as how you can annoy me some days to the point where I have to stop myself from instinctively killing you, but I do. And I have not the faintest idea how to make that work."

"You adapt to it." Tony said softly. "One step at a time."

"But there are so many things that could go wrong. Look at the line of work we are in, Tony! Both of us could be killed on any given day! I could not live with the fact that the one man I truly could love would be gone from my life. I nearly died a couple of days ago! What would that have done to you as a human being? And what about Gibbs and his infamous Rule 12? I very much doubt he would allow us to even entertain the possibility if it were remotely possible that we could make it work!"

"I have a feeling the bossman wouldn't mind so much." Tony said with a small smile. "As long as it's kept out of the office, I doubt he'll raise too much hell."

Ziva narrowed her eyes. "How would you know that?" She gripped his arm tighter. "Did… did he hear what I… what we…"

"Oh, yeah- he heard all right."

Ziva uttered a low groan and rubbed her eyes.

"Ziva," Tony said in all seriousness. "Listen to me. I don't know what's going to happen from here on out. Yeah, you're right- we both could be killed at any time. But if there's ever a chance of that happening, no matter how remote, there would be no person I'd be more honoured to have known and be with than you."

Ziva stared at him and swallowed hard. Her dream was starting to come back to her- edging its way to the front of her mind.

Tony gently stroked her cheek, and she gently put her own hand over his. "I don't know if it'll work the way we want to Zee, but I can tell you one thing for certain; if there is any woman that's worth trying for in this world, it's you- and I'd do anything before I let that woman come to harm. I love her too damn much. And I'm tired of pretending I don't."

Ziva allowed a small smile. "I am tired of pretending that I do not care about a certain man as well, Tony."

His eyes locked with hers. "So let's stop pretending…"

He leaned in close; she closed her eyes and felt his lips on hers- warm, comforting, real. She embraced the kiss and quickly returned it, her hands moving up and gently stroking his face.

For the first time in her life, Ziva knew exactly who she was. She was Special Agent Ziva David of the Naval Criminal Investigative Services. She was a proud new citizen of the United States of America.

And she loved Anthony DiNozzo with every bit of her heart.

A/N: Well, that's a wrap folks! Tell me what you think! Hit that review button!