Chapter 7: I'm addicted to the way I feel when I think of you

"That's So Raven?"

"Huh?" I look towards the door and find Casey staring at me.

"You're watching That's So Raven?"

"No," I say before looking back towards the TV only to find that I am watching That's So Raven.

"Urg," I say. "I was watching NBA Access I must have zoned out."

"Sure you did," she says smirking at me.

"No seriously. I must have been really out of it to not notice the extreme over-acting and the obnoxiously loud screaming that constitutes as dialog on this crap-ass show."

I'm not lying. It's not like I was really watching the show and am embarrassed about it.

"Constitutes eh? That was almost an intelligent sentence, if only you hadn't added 'crap-ass'," she says taking a seat on the couch.

"If the word fits…" I say shrugging my shoulders.

Casey rolls her eyes at me then turns her attention towards the TV.

"Oh I've seen this one. Paula Abdul is in it," she says.

I flip that channel.

"Derek, I was watching that," she says looking at me expectantly.

"I was here first and I don't like the show to begin with, plus you just told me that that nut bar Idol Judge is in the episode so now I really don't want to watch it," I say continuing to flip through the channels. "Ah, this is better."

"Derek," she says sternly.

"What?" I respond innocently.

"This is not better."

I open my eyes widely, "But I love this show."

She rolls her eyes again.

God, one day her eyes are just going to go on strike and refuse to roll…then what will she do?

"Oh, really? This is your favourite show?" she asks.

"Of course. Who doesn't love This Old House…PBS just has the best darn programming," I say as sincerely as possible.

"Would you just put it back, you do not like this show."

She's actually beginning to get annoyed.

"How would you know whether or not I like this show?" I say stubbornly.

She is so easily irritated.

"Because…"

"Good one Case."

"Arrg, because okay? Because I know what kind of shows you watch."

Sure she does. She's full of it. I don't care what she says we are not watching That's So Raven.

"Oh yeah? And what kind of shows do I watch?"

She isn't saying anything. She's just sitting there looking a bit conflicted.

"I knew it. Now if you don't mind," I say turning my attention to the TV. "I am missing my program."

We sit in silence for a few minutes. I could not have picked a more boring show to torture her with.

I think this show it more tortuous to me than it is to her.

"Sports and hot chicks," she blurts out.

"What?"

That was random.

"The shows you watch. You claim they have to contain either sports or hot chicks…or both. But I know you like other shows."

"I do, do I?"

"Yes you do."

"I'm listening."

She hesitates before continuing.

"You watched the Black Donnelly's before it got cancelled. And then when it did you refused to watch NBC for a month and were annoyed that you couldn't watch the rest of the episodes online because we live in Canada and the videos were only available for residents of the United States."

She's right.

I can't believe those bastards at NBC, they freaking cancelled Studio 60 and Raines too.

"Go on," I say.

She sits in silence for a moment before starting to talk again.

"You watch Bones. You wanted to go against the CSI trend so you decided to give the show a shot not expecting much, but you ended up really liking it. If anyone asks you'd say you like it because Angela is hot and Booth is the type of guy who doesn't take shit from anyone. But I know it's because you want to see if Booth and Bones will ever get together."

That's not true, that's not true, that's not true…okay so it is.

But she really shouldn't know that.

"That's not true…" I start but she cuts me off.

"Don't even try it Derek. The week after the season finale aired you were so happy that you drove me to school every morning without complaining all because you were certain that the look Booth and Brennan gave each other after Angela and Hodgens left the church meant that next season there would be big developments in their relationship."

I've never told anyone that.

I admit I have a bit of a sappy side when it comes to that particular television couple…I mean they are so meant for each other and the show keeps giving hints of them getting together but it just never happens. How long are they going to make us wait before they just take the frigging plunge?

But all of that, I have always kept to myself. Do you think I want people to know how attached I can get to fictional characters?

Of course not.

I'm not sure how to react to this. I never realized Casey paid any attention to me. Well okay, I know she pays attention, but mostly only because we're fighting and when we fight we demand each other's attention. But other than that we just seem to co-exist.

"Casey I…I have no idea what you're talking about. Really, I think you've lost it."

I don't care how much she knows about me I am not ready to admit to anything.

She let's out a tiny laugh before getting up off the couch and walking towards the stairs. I watch her go still stunned at the conversation we just shared.

"Yeah, maybe I have lost it," she mumbles as she makes her way up the stairs.

LWDLWDLWD LWDLWDLWD LWDLWDLWD LWDLWDLWD LWDLWDLWD

Maybe I have lost it.

I can't seem to get that out of my head.

It's just…the way she said it. It kind of sounded like…like I had done something to actually make her feel like she'd lost it.

But not in a white-jacket padded-room kind of way, more in a…arrrg. I don't know.

It just sounded like it meant something is all.

Maybe I'm reading into nothing but first we have a great time out together, then she helps me with my homework and now I find out she knows me better than I thought…

Does she…I mean, could she…I…I…oh I don't know.

Maybe I'm the one who's lost it.

LWDLWDLWD LWDLWDLWD LWDLWDLWD LWDLWDLWD LWDLWDLWD

The dance is in two days and I still haven't purchased my ticket. I just can't decide whether or not I really want to go.

Either, I ask some random girl to go with me and we end up making out while I think about Casey.

Or…

I go stag and end up daydreaming about Casey than finding some random girl to hook up with while thinking about Casey.

Notice any similarities? Hmmm?

I suppose there is a third option.

Asking Casey to the dance.

Ha! Okay so that really isn't an option.

God, I'm not supposed to be hesitating about asking a girl out. I'm Derek Venturi I have never had issues getting girls, it's always been easy for me.

But this time it's so much harder. Casey is…well she's different. Ignoring the fact that she is technically my stepsister…

She's also

…smart

…independent

…hardworking

…and she has never fawned over me.

She didn't fall for me as soon as we met. She doesn't let me get away with anything. I know how to push her buttons and she definitely knows how to push mine too.

She might disagree with me, but I know her. And I think that that is the main difference.

The girls I date…I don't really know them. Sure by the end of it I know how they smell, how far they are willing to go and what the inside of their mouths taste like. But know them? Definitely not. I don't get attached to them, I never worry about whether or not it will mess up our friendship and when it comes down to it, I don't really care what they think of me.

Which is exactly my problem now. With Casey I obsess about all of those things.

So what does all this tell me about whether or not I should go to the dance?

Absolutely nothing.

But it has made me realize that Casey is to good to let slip away, and that if I want her, I'm going to have to put some work into it.

And for once in my life, I am prepared to work as hard as I have to.

A/N: Yay! I finally got through this chapter. I found it really hard to write for some reason. Don't worry though, I've got the next chapter all planned out in my head so hopefully will come to me a lot faster. Anyways, please let me know what you think! I love getting feedback from you guys:)