Left to themselves, once again, both kings stood for a moment in awkward silence.
"I forgave you, Edmund," Peter began as he moved to get one of the dressing gowns. Edmund gave a start. He hadn't been expecting Peter to speak, and he watched Peter move through the room with a look that clearly defined how much he was trying to catch up with Peter's words. "But I cannot forget. At least, not right now. Do you think any less of me?"
And with that, Peter moved to the adjoining bathroom and shut the door. Moments later, the sound of the bath tap running filled the rooms. With a sigh, Edmund stripped down and slipped the second robe on, sitting on one of the grand chairs by the fire.
He would wait for Peter to finish his bath before he tried to talk to his estranged husband, again.
-EPPPEPPPEPPPEPPP-
An hour later, Edmund was still sitting by the fire, waiting for Peter to come out. Peter had locked the door before getting in the bath, and Edmund could not pretend that hearing the click of the bolt hadn't made his heart clench. How was he to mend his relationship when Peter acted as if he were a stranger?
'But you area stranger, aren't you?' Edmund gave a start as he stared into the fire. 'You haven't been here for months, for years. Oh, of course you did make love to him in Narnia before the battle of Beruna, but what about the time before that? You haven't been away for a year, you've been away from him for two.'
"Two years," Edmund repeated to himself, hardly able to believe that it had been that long since they had been happily married. "I've been gone for two whole years—"
"Yes, you have." Edmund jumped, and turned to see Peter standing in the bathroom doorway, a bathrobe wrapped securely around him. "The bathroom is free."
Edmund watched from his chair as Peter moved around the room, heading to the vanity where a water basin, a shaving kit, and a brush had been laid out. Peter picked up the brush, and began slicking his wet hair back, out of his face.
"Peter—"
"Don't." Peter paused mid-brush, catching Edmund's eyes in the mirror with an intensity that froze the words on Edmund's lips. "You've said you're sorry, and I've forgiven you."
He looked back to his reflection and continued brushing his hair. There was a moment of tense silence as Edmund waited to see if Peter would say more. Peter moved around to sit in front of the vanity, continuing his grooming ritual. Edmund couldn't help feeling entranced as he watched Peter brush shaving cream over his face. When had he started shaving, again?
Edmund briefly remembered a late evening in Narnia before a formal ball. His fingers had taken the path of the shaving brush, the white cream on his fingers as he smoothed it over his husband's skin…
'Stop that!' He thought to himself as he shook off the reverie. Now was not the time to remember such things.
"I realize you're trying to 'make things better' between us, Edmund," Edmund gave a start as Peter's voice came to him. He realized that Peter had finished shaving while he had been off in the memory. Edmund blinked a few times, trying to catch back up to Peter, once again. "But do you really think you can?"
Peter's eyes were helpless and plaintive as he turned on the vanity stool to face Edmund.
"I'd like to try." Edmund answered honestly, almost at a loss for what Peter was ultimately getting at. "Don't you want to, Peter? Be the way we were?"
"This isn't about me." Peter snapped as he moved to the door, throwing it open to gather a pair of slippers left outside the door by the professor. He slipped them on, and headed out. Edmund stood shell-shocked, and then in a flash he was in the hallway, grabbing onto Peter's retreating form as it moved away from their shared room. He turned Peter to him and tried to lead him back to the room.
Peter let himself be gently man-handled. He was just too tired to fight. Edmund sat him in a chair by the fire and stood in front of him to block any possible exit.
"It has everything to do with you, Peter." Edmund paced back and forth a few times before sighing, slumping his shoulders, and turning back to Peter. "Look Peter, could you just stay here until I bathe and change? Please? I want to talk to you, and before you say it: I know I don't deserve it. You have every right to get up and walk out that door, but would you please, just…stay. Please, Peter. I'll beg if you want. Stay."
Peter watched as Edmund's countenance deflated before him, listening to the pleading words of his estranged husband. He couldn't disregard the request. He just couldn't. Regardless of the hurt in his head and the anguish in his heart, he couldn't ignore the desire his whole being still had to be with this king. This man.
"I'll stay," Peter murmured, settling back into the chair and matching tired eyes to Edmund's.
"Thank you," Edmund whispered back, more grateful that even he had imagined he's be upon hearing Peter's assent to his request. He turned and headed to the bathroom, leaving the door slightly cracked.
Peter settled back into the great chair for a doze and a ponder.
AN:
Sorry it takes me so loooooong to update. :/ Thanks for keeping with me! I didn't know if I wanted to publish this, but I couldn't keep you waiting anymore. PLEASE review. The longer, the better. It helps me write. ;)
Preview of chapters to come:
"You wouldn't even hold my hand. Why should I let /you/ touch /me/, now?"
"Peter." And Edmund gave up on speech, grabbing Peter's fingers with his and heading off across the lawn.