Over at the Read household, Pal, Kate, Amigo and Snoopy were playing. Or at least, they thought Snoopy was.
The World War I flying ace finds himself stranded behind enemy territory Snoopy thought to himself. He was dressed in his signature green aviators cap with brown goggles and a red scarf.
"What's he doing?" Kate asked curiously.
"I believe he's pretending as though he's some type of pilot" Pal replied, "though I can't figure out why."
The Red Baron shot down my plane, leaving me here with only my mechanic, a showgirl, and a gruff Mexican for company. We've got to keep together, the enemy could be everywhere.
Just then, Snoopy noticed a German soldier heading right for him.
I've been seen! He exclaimed my only hope is this grenade…
He pulled the pin on the grenade and threw it at the German. Or at least, that was what he thought happened. Instead, he had chucked Woodstock at D.W.
"Hey, what did I ever do to you?" she asked angrily.
Maybe I can attempt to negotiate with this one Snoopy thought. He opened his mouth to speak but only gibberish came out.
"You're weird, but still way better than Pal" D.W. commented before she walked off.
Ha, I scared him off. Looks like this might go easier than I thought.
"What precisely were you doing back there?" Pal asked.
No time for chatter, you've got to get the plane repaired so we can get out of here Snoopy explained.
"Plane? What are you on about?" a confused Pal wondered.
I'll scout ahead and see if I can find any food Snoopy told him, before walking off.
"Where's he going?" Kate asked.
"He said something about scouting ahead to get food" Pal explained "and he wanted me to fix his plane. Something tells me that dog isn't quite right in the head."
"I could have told you that" Amigo added.
"I think he's just playing" Kate explained "he's our guest, so let's humor him."
"I'd much rather prefer to play a game of catch."
But Kate had ignored him and crawled off to meet up with Snoopy. Amigo followed suit and ran off.
"Wait for me!" Pal shouted, bounding to keep up with her.
---
Later that day, Charlie Brown & Linus went to meet Buster & Arthur at the Sugar Bowl. However, they ran into an obstacle on their way there. Three very large obstacles, to be precise.
"Well, look what we've got here" Rattles said.
"You're more of those out of town kids" Molly said "what's the deal with your heads anyway? Are your parents beach balls?"
"I'm not sure what our heads have to do with anything" Charlie Brown replied "anyway, if you don't mind, we have somewhere to be, so if you could…"
"You two can't get past till you pay the toll" Slink said.
"Toll?" asked a confused Charlie Brown.
"Yeah, the toll" Molly said "all out of towners have to pay it."
"But we don't really have any money" Linus said.
"No money huh?" Rattles replied, "well, there is one other way you can pass, but you won't like it."
"Are you sure you just can't move?" Charlie Brown asked.
"Watch it baldy!" Molly shouted, threatening him with a fist.
Charlie Brown sighed, "all right, what do we have to do to get by?"
Rattles & Slink exchanged smirks.
"You familiar with a wedgie?" Rattles asked the two.
---
A few minutes later, Charlie Brown & Linus arrived at the Sugar Bowl. Arthur & Buster called them over, then noticed the large white bulge down the back of their pants.
"What happened to you guys?" Buster asked.
"We ran into some big kids" Charlie Brown explained "they said we had to pay a toll to get by, and when we said we couldn't pay, they wedgied us."
"Sounds like the Tough Customers" Arthur replied "they're always doing mean things like that."
"This is still better than having Lucy pull the football away when I'm about to kick it" Charlie Brown replied.
"She really does that? Wow, she is evil" Buster replied.
"Who's evil?" Francine asked. She had just entered and took a seat next to the boys.
"Lucy" Arthur replied "Charlie Brown was telling us that she pulls the football away before he can kick it."
"That's terrible!" Francine exclaimed "even I wouldn't do that."
It was then she noticed the boys' underwear was riding high.
"Let me guess, you two had a run-in with the Tough Customers?" Both boys nodded "well, stick with me, I'll protect you from the bullies."
"I thought that was Sue Ellen's job" Arthur chimed in.
"She can't do it alone."
"So, how are things with Lucy?" Charlie Brown asked.
"I don't know, she moved out and went to stay with Muffy" Francine said bitterly "no offense Linus, but your sister is a 'witch' with a 'B'."
"I wouldn't use a term quite that strong, but you're right" Linus replied.
"And now all Muffy wants to do is hang out with Lucy, and help her with that stupid psychiatry booth!" Francine said "I'm losing my best friend, and to someone who will only be a bad influence on her."
"If Muffy could get any worse" Buster whispered to Arthur.
"Why don't you talk to Muffy and tell her how you feel" Charlie Brown suggested.
"I'll do that" Francine said, "but if that doesn't work, I may have to sock Lucy in her nose."
"Could I watch if you do?" Linus asked.
---
Meanwhile, back at the psychiatrist booth, Lucy was helping Jenna with a recent problem.
"What can I do to make myself more attractive?" she asked.
"Trade bodies with someone else" Lucy suggested.
After Jenna ran off in tears, Muffy came over to check on the take for the day.
"Twelve dollars, not bad" she said, "now, as your official manager, I just need to take my 30 percent cut."
"Forget it!" Lucy said, "this is my money, I made it and I'm keeping it."
"But I helped set up this little stand" Muffy said "and I deserve my cut!"
"Tough" Lucy said, "I was doing this long before I met you, and I can do it without you!"
"Well, if that's the way you're going to be, then maybe I'll just leave!" Muffy shouted.
"Fine!" Lucy said "oh and by the way, your hair is ugly."
"How rude!" Muffy said as she walked away.
"As if I'd share my money with her" Lucy said "she's so greedy. She was right about increasing the price, though."
---
It was dinner time in Elwood City and the Read family were enjoying a nice meatloaf that Mr. Read had made. D.W. was the first to break the silence.
"Mommy, how much money do we have?"
"I'm not really sure how to answer that question" Mrs. Read replied, "why do you want to know sweetheart?"
"Cause Emily said the bride's family usually pays for a wedding, and I wanted to make sure we could afford mine."
Mrs. Read gasped in shock. Mr. Read spit out his water. Arthur just slapped his head in embarrassment.
"What's this about a wedding?" Mrs. Read asked, a little concerned.
"I'm marrying Rerun" D.W. said "I haven't set a date yet, 'cause I need to get a few things like a dress and some cake. Speaking of which, daddy, would you make the food?"
"D.W., you're not getting married" Mrs. Read said, "you're only four."
"But I love Rerun" D.W. explained "if you love somebody, shouldn't you marry them?"
"Well, ideally yes…" Mrs. Read said.
"So?"
Mrs. Read sighed "D.W., you're just too young to understand love right now. As you grow older, you'll love many boys and one day, you'll find one you really like and marry him. Besides, a wedding is a lot of work. Do you understand?"
"I guess" D.W. said, but she was actually deep in thought. I get it, mommy & daddy are saying that if I want to get married, I need to find someone else to pay for the wedding. But who do I know who's rich? Well Emily, but she'd probably remind me of that for the rest of my life. Grandma Thora would help me, but I don't know how much bingo money she has.
---
Meanwhile, over at the Frensky's apartment, there was a knock on the door. Mrs. Frensky answered it and saw Muffy standing there.
"Francine, Muffy's here to see you!" she called.
"Hi Muffy, long time no see" Francine said "shouldn't you be out with your new best friend Lucy?"
"Lucy and I had a falling out" Muffy explained "look Francine, I'm sorry I've been ignoring you for her. I was attracted to her selfish, mean, greedy personality. It reminded me a lot of me."
"That's okay" Francine said "I'm just glad she's only here for two more days."
"Speaking of which…" Muffy began "since she and I are no longer on good terms, I was wondering if your family would be willing to take her off my hands?"
Francine sighed "well, I guess if it's only for two more days."
"Thanks Francine. And I'm sorry about ditching you for Lucy. You're still my best friend."
"And even though you're bringing Lucy back, you're still mine too" Francine replied.
---
While those two made up, over at the Tibble house, Rerun was enjoying his "bachelor party", Tibble style.
"What are we doing here?" Rerun asked.
"I told you, this is your bathlor party, cause you're gonna marry D.W. tomorrow" Timmy explained.
"Okay, so if this is a party, where's the cake, and balloons, and ice cream?" Rerun asked.
"I don't think we have any balloons" Tommy explained "but we've got some ice cream."
"And even though D.W. told us not to, we brought a slipper" Timmy added, holding it up "touch it, it's fuzzy."
"No thanks" Rerun replied.
"Here's some ice cream" Tommy said, bringing in a box of Rocky Road. Once he set it down on the table, he immediately began gulping it down.
"What are you doing?" Timmy asked, "we're 'posed to make sure Rerun gets some."
"Oh yeah" Tommy replied, pushing the box towards Rerun "eat up."
"No thanks."
"Suit yourself" Timmy said, before he and his brother began pigging out again. After watching them for a few minutes, Rerun turned to James, who was the only other guest.
"So, now what do we do?"
"I don't know" James replied, "I only came because D.W. said I had to."
---
While the boys partied, over at Emily's house D.W. was enjoying her bridal shower.
"I don't know why adults call this a shower" D.W. said, "there's no water involved at all."
"Adults sure can be weird" Emily added, "now, open my present."
D.W. tore into the brightly colored package and was excited at what she found inside.
"Wow, a new dress!"
"It used to be mine, but I didn't want it anymore" Emily explained "I figured you could wear it, since every bride needs a beautiful dress."
"Here is my gift D.W." Vicita added, handing her a box, "I hope you like it."
D.W. tore into the box "a hat with feathers?" she asked, confused upon receiving her gift.
"That's an Incan headdress" Vicita explained "my mommy said that it brings good luck to those who wear it."
D.W. ignored her and noticed the lack of boxes. "I wish I had more friends so I could get more presents" she commented.
"There's more to the shower than just presents" Emily explained "we need to go over all the last minute details. What music do you want?"
"I was thinking 'Crazy Bus.'"
"That's not really wedding type music" Emily replied.
"It's my special day, so I can have whatever music I want" D.W. reminded her "and I want 'Crazy Bus'!"
"All right. What are you doing for food?"
"My daddy will probably make something" D.W. said.
"Good, that saves us money" Emily said, "speaking of which, how are you paying for all this?"
I dunno" D.W. said "I asked Grandma Thora and she said 'what an active imagination' and gave me ten dollars. But I don't think that'll pay for everything."
"We're just going to have to cut corners" Emily said "but I'm sure everything will turn out fine."
"It better, or you're fired!" D.W. shouted.
---
The World War I flying ace is still behind enemy lines Snoopy thought his mechanic hasn't been able to fix the plane, and my rations are starting to run out.
"I don't know what we're going to do commander" Pal told Snoopy "the enemy has soldiers all over the place."
"Maybe I could distract them with my dancing" Kate offered.
Our only hope is that farmhouse over there Snoopy thought on my mark, we run for it. One…two…three!
The three dogs and a baby ran (well crawled, in Kate's case) across the lawn, finally stopping in front of the farmhouse (actually the Read garage).
Ok, we should be safe here until I can radio for reinforcements.
"I say, this was more fun than I imagined" Pal told Kate, as they waited outside the garage.
"Si, Senor Snoopy is all right in my book" Amigo added.
"I haven't had this much fun in a long time. Too bad he and Woodstock are only here for two more days." Then she noticed that Pal appeared a little sad, "what's wrong?"
"Kate, do you like Snoopy more than me?" Pal asked.
"What?"
"You just said you haven't had that much fun in a while. And he can do all sorts of things I can't; write, walk on his hind legs, pretend to be a flying ace…"
"Oh Pal, I agree Snoopy is unique, but he could never replace you" Kate replied.
"Really?"
"Of course. He's only here for a week, but you'll always be here when I need you."
"Thanks Kate, I needed to hear that" Pal replied, almost near tears.
Okay crew, we're going inside that chateau over there for some root beer Snoopy told them, pointing at the Read house I think the owner is friendly.
"As you wish, commander" Pal replied.
"What did he say?"
"He said he wants us to go inside the house for root beer" Pal explained "though I'm not sure you have any."
"I'm sure daddy will fix us something" Kate said, "come on, we don't want to let our leader down."
And they followed Snoopy on his way to the house.
---
Later that day, Arthur and his friends met with the Peanuts gang at the Sugar Bowl.
"Well, tomorrow is the big game" Arthur said, "I'm really looking forward to this one."
"Yeah, we can actually beat these guys" Buster added.
"Don't be so sure, long ears!" Lucy snapped "sure we may have lost every game this season. And sure, our manager is wishy-washy and a blockhead. And sure…did I have a point?"
"Good grief!" Charlie Brown said, burying his face in his hands. Arthur put his arm around him and patted him on the back.
"Don't sweat it Charlie Brown" he said, "everybody used to make fun of me when I was on the team, because I couldn't catch."
"And now they make fun of Fern, cause she can't hit" Buster added. Fern frowned and Sue Ellen roughly jabbed Buster in the ribs.
"Based on our current win/loss records, the results of this game will certainly be interesting" Brain said.
"I've been thinking Chuck" Patty piped in, "since your team is short a couple of players, me and Marcie would be glad to help ya. Wouldn't we Marcie?"
"If you say so, sir."
"Thanks, but I think we can win on our own" Charlie Brown replied.
"But Chuck, my team beats you every time" Patty explained "but with me and Marcie, you couldn't lose. Especially not against these weird-looking kids."
"What's that supposed to mean?" Francine asked angrily.
"Uh oh" Arthur said silently.
"It's just that all you kids look like animals" Patty explained "you're a monkey, and that kid's a bunny, and that one's a dog, and that one" she said, pointing at Arthur "well I don't what he is."
"I'm an aardvark!"
"Really?" Patty asked, "well anyway, I've never heard of a city filled with animal people before until I came here. It's weird is all."
"You're the one who's weird!" Francine shouted "with your round heads and big noses. Sometimes I feel like I want to kick your head into a net."
"That's a little harsh…" Arthur began.
"And another thing" Francine said, ignoring him, "it doesn't matter how good the two of you are, cause our team is pretty good, except for a few players."
"You know, I am right here" Fern replied.
"I really think we should…" Arthur began
"Oh yeah?" Patty asked, interrupting him.
"Yeah!" Francine replied "so bring everything you've got tomorrow, 'cause we'll beat you and send you home to your city of round headed freaks!"
With that, she angrily stormed out of the Sugar Bowl.
"You have to excuse Francine" Muffy told Patty, "she gets mad about the silliest things sometimes."
"Yeah, what difference does it make if we beat you guys" Binky added.
"What makes you so sure you can beat us, dog breath?" Lucy asked.
"Well come on, look at ya" Binky said "one of your players carries a blanket around for Pete's sake! Only babies still have blankets."
"I'll thank you not to insult my blanket" Linus said.
"Nobody insults my brother but me!" Lucy shouted "come on Linus, let's go" she added, grabbing him by the arm and leaving.
"Now that all this fighting is done, what do you say we…" Charlie Brown began.
"Binky does have a point" Buster said, "we could beat these kids."
"Could not!" Patty replied.
"Uh-huh."
"Nuh-uh!"
"I can't stand it!" Charlie Brown cried.
But his complaint fell on deaf ears as all the kids began to argue over which team was better. One by one, they all exited the Sugar Bowl (with the exception of Marcie, who was forcefully led out by Patty), leaving Arthur & Charlie Brown.
"It appears as though our once peaceful relationship has deteriorated into an all-out war for supremacy" Charlie Brown said.
"Good grief!" Arthur groaned.
Can Arthur & Charlie Brown get their friends to make up before the big game, or will the anger carry over? Also, D.W. has her wedding, but soon finds out why four-year olds shouldn't get married. See all this in the final chapter of "Good Grief, Arthur!"