A/N: Hey! So, this is my first Star Trek fic so I apologize for any mistakes or if characters are OOC. This is my first Star Trek fic so please be nice!
Disclaimer: I own nothing.
"What happened to him, Jim?" Dr. Leonard "Bones" McCoy asked his best friend as they stood by the bedside of the Enterprise's youngest crew member.
"I don't know," answered Captain Jim Kirk, "Spock and I were leading a team to investigate some buildings at the edge of city when Hendorff radioed me and said that he had found Pavel and that the kid was pretty shaken up. I swear that the kid had been with me less than two seconds before. God, how could I be that tuned out?"
"It's not your fault, Jim," Bones assured, "You know better than anyone how the kid gets sometimes, he sees something interesting or distracting and runs off without a second thought. He has improved exponentially from when he was first assigned but he's still gonna have moments like that, no matter how much we try and curb it."
"I know," Jim responded, "anyway, when I got to their location, Hendorff warned me that Pavel had not spoken at all since he had been found. I didn't really give it a second thought since the kid can get like that when he is scared or upset. I tried to get him to tell me what happened and I got a few physical responses, I thought we were getting somewhere. Then, out of nowhere, he just lunged at me, screaming. I got him in a restraint hold and that was when this happened," Jim lifted his arm and pulled back the sleeve of his uniform to reveal a deep, clean bite mark on his lower wrist.
"Damn," Bones said, sounding slightly impressed, "Pasha is such a sweet kid, I never knew he had it in him to hit anyone, let alone bite hard enough to cause damage."
"I guess that's what happens when you are scared half out of your mind," Jim murmured, reaching a hand out to gently stroke the teen's hair. "You should have seen his eyes, Bones. There was no rage there, only hurt and fear. After he bit me, Pavel stopped screaming and started sobbing. It got so bad that Spock had to nerve pinch the kid to calm him. It was terrifying, Bones! This is the first time that Pasha didn't calm the minute that I started rocking him."
Bones' reply was cut off by a low groan. Turning, both men saw that their young charge was waking up.
"Hey kid," Bones said gently, "glad to see ya awake. How're ya feeling?"
Pavel didn't answer, but his eyes drifted to the IV in his hand and he began to scratch at it.
"No, Pav," Bones reprimanded gently, "I know it's uncomfortable but it has to stay in for a little while, it's giving you some pain meds and saline right now."
Pavel let out a small whine but left the IV catheter alone as Bones checked him over.
"Well," said Bones, "Aside from a few scratches and bruises, Pavel is fine physically."
Jim breathed a sigh of relief as he sat down next to his little brother.
"I'm gonna get the kid some sleeping meds," Bones said, "I just want you to have an extra supply in case he needs it."
After Bones had left the room, Pavel moved closer to his big brother and reached out a hand to tug on Jim's shirt.
"What do you need, Pasha?" Jim asked gently.
Pavel let out a whimper and raised his good arm, silently indicating that he wanted to be held.
Jim obliged and lay back against the headrest, settling the teen against his chest and running a hand through his hair.
"When did you get so good at sneaking off, huh?" Jim asked lightly, "didn't even notice that you were gone until Hendorff called me."
Pavel said nothing, but his whole body trembled, he pressed himself closer to Jim and began to cry quietly.
"Oh Pasha," Jim murmured quietly, " s'okay buddy, it was just a little mishap, nothing to get so worked up over."
Again, Pavel said nothing but he did shake his head vehemently against Jim's chest.
"That's not what you're upset about?" Jim asked.
Pavel nodded.
"Then what is it, Pasha?" Jim inquired.
Pavel shook his head, as if to silently say, "I don't want to talk about it"
"I need you to tell me what it is, Pavel," Jim said gently, rubbing a hand down the distraught boy's back. "I can't help ya if I don't know what happened."
This time, Pavel began to struggle in Jim's arms, letting out small whimpers and whines.
"Alright, alright, Pasha" Jim murmured, tightening his hold on the struggling boy to prevent Pavel from hurting himself. "You don't have to tell me if you don't want to. I won't make you talk about it."
Pavel seemed to relax a bit at Jim's assurance but the kid still remained rigid and tense in the captain's arms.
"Hey, kiddo," Bones said gently, entering the room and sitting next to Jim, "you look pretty comfortable, you feel like taking a little nap?"
Pavel nodded and Bones gave the kid a comforting smile before reaching into his pocket and taking out a hypospray. He gently shushed the teen as Pavel let out a small, scared whimper.
"S'okay, Pasha," Bones murmured, pulling the plastic covering off of the small needle. "Yer barely gonna feel it. I'm gonna count down from 10 and by the time I finish, it'll all be over."
Pavel nodded reluctantly before hiding his face against Jim's chest.
"Okay Pasha," Bones said, cleaning the injection area on the boy's leg, "I'm gonna start counting."
Bones pressed the hypo against the teen's leg, starting to count "Ten...nine..eight..seven."
Pavel let out a pained cry and reached his hand out to try and grab at the injection device.
Jim reached out and grabbed Pavel's hand, pinning it against his chest.
"Almost done, kid," Bones said, hating himself for causing the boy so much pain "..four...three...two...one." Once the needle was out, Pavel turned to Bones and gave the CMO a heart-wrenchingly betrayed look before turning and hiding his face against Jim's chest, his ragged breathing beginning to even out.
"I think that it's safe for you to take him back to your quarters, Jim," Bones said, "Whatever is going on with the kid, it will definitely help to get him back to somewhere familiar. Just don't leave him alone. That sedative is pretty strong and if he gets up while it is still in his system, there is a good chance that he'll fall and hurt himself."
"Okay," Jim said, standing up and shifting the sleeping teen in his arms, "I wasn't planning on going back to the bridge anyway."
For the next few days, nothing was brought up about the incident on the scouting mission. However, Jim saw the profound change in his little brother. Pavel was significantly more subdued and he tended to keep more to himself. Jim only wished he knew what had scarred his little brother so.
The answer came five days after the scouting trip. Everything seemed to be going normally, Kirk and Spock were meeting in the main room of Jim's quarters and Pavel was sitting on the couch, working through a logic game on the captain's PADD. The meeting was going fine until Jim mentioned the scouting trip.
Pavel froze, letting the PADD slip out of his grasp and hit the ground. He stood up, his whole body trembling and let out a feral growl before lunging at Jim.
Spock was up before the teen made his move and within seconds, he had Pavel in a basic restraint hold.
Pavel struggled and Spock tightened his grip, making escape nearly impossible.
"Hey, hey, Pasha," Jim murmured, taking his little brother into his arms and pinning the boy's hands against his chest. "What's goin' on, huh? What's got ya so worked up?"
"N-no, n-no," Pavel growled, weakly trying to push himself away from his older brother, "don' vanna talk about eet, not gonna talk about eet."
"Not going to talk about what, Pavel?" Spock asked "If something is wrong, Ensign, it would be logical for you to tell us what it is. We cannot help you if we do not have knowledge of the problem."
"Yeah, Pasha" Jim said, "Spock is right, you need to tell us what is going on, and I'm not gonna let go of you until you do."
At those words, Pavel stopped struggling and sighed resignedly before quietly saying, "I saw somezing terrible on ze scouting treep."
"What did you see, Pasha?" Jim asked, gently, moving to sit on the couch and situating Pavel in his arms.
"Vhen I got lost, I saw a man," Pavel started, laying his head on Jim's chest and playing with the medals and insignia pinned to Kirk's uniform. "I got scared so I heed behind a buildeeng and then I saw ze man start to argue vis anozer person zat I coodn't see. Ze arguement kept getting louder and louder and zen-" the young navigator broke off, sobbing.
"Easy child, easy," Spock said, moving to sit next to Jim and gently running a hand down Pavel's back. "You can tell us, Pavel. No harm will come to you here."
"Z-zhere v-vere a lot of gunshots and ze man fell to ze ground, dead." Pavel sobbed, "Zen, before I cood moowe, ze murder came up behind me and held a knife to my throat. He said that if I told anyvone vhat I had seen, he vood keel me and eweryone zat I told." Pavel sobbed harder, and Jim looked at Spock, silently telling him to inform Dr. McCoy of what had happened. Spock nodded, and with one last gentle clap to Pavel's shoulder, left the Captain's quarters.
"Okay," Jim soothed, holding his little brother closer, "S'okay, Pasha. Everything's gonna be alright."
"You know," Jim continued, changing the subject, "I remember when I first met you, CPS had just brought you into the hospital that Doctor McCoy was working at. He contacted Admiral Pike, who was still a captain back then; and asked if he and I would be willing to take you in. Pike said yes, of course." Jim smiled; noticing that Pavel had stopped crying and was now laying contentedly against his big brother's chest.
"When we got to the hospital," Jim continued, "I remember that McCoy warned us that the abuse and neglect you had suffered was pretty graphic. You only weighed 29 lbs, and Dr. McCoy said that if you were just days away from starving. You would have had a week at the very most."
"I don't remember zat," Pavel murmured, "All I remember vas zee officers coming and stopping my fazer from beating me to death."
"Well," Jim murmured, drawing Pavel even closer and kissing the top of the boy's head, "we got in the room and I saw you for the first time. You were so emaciated, I could count every rib and vertebrae in your body. You had such severe damage internally, that you had to be fed a completely liquid diet of fortified supplements from a tube for two months. Even when we were able to take you home with us, you were barely able to walk and you had almost no muscle control in your jaw. But, you recovered physically within the next six months; It was the psychological damage that was really took it's toll on you. For the first few months you hated to be touched and you were selectively mute. It was hard because you weren't able to tell us when you didn't like something. If something happened that made you angry, you would scream. Do you know why I am telling you all of this, Pavel?"
"Nyet," Pavel murmured, toying with Star Fleet insignia on Jim's uniform.
"I am telling you this because I'm trying to explain that even though you suffered years of terrible abuse, you chose not to let that stop you and you recovered. You shouldn't let this mission set you back."
Pavel just sighed and closed his eyes.
Both of them sat there for a long time, each lost in their own memories.