The Detention Diaries
Chapter Seven: Little Red Robin Hood

Detention Day 8

Rukawa

I swear The Shrew almost jumped when she saw me. Maybe she's wisened up overnight and decided that she doesn't want to mess with me. Hmm.

Shizuka

Rukawa. Piggyboy. Pigs. The nightmare last night!

"Someone likes you, Shizuka." Mitsui told me earnestly, bringing me back to reality. Sakuragi and Youhei exploded into laughter.

"What's so funny?" I snapped at them.

Someone likes me… hmmm. I'm not a very vain girl when it comes to boys, but perhaps… yes, perhaps there were some hints he dropped here and there that I took too lightly then…

"Shoichi."

Shoichi. Shoichi? I choked.

Rukawa

The Shrew is choking on her banana! HAH!

Shizuka

"Nyahahaha, Shizuka! Relax!" Sakuragi and Youhei pat my back. "I know you're really excited that a guy is finally interested in you, NYAHAHAHA!!"

"I – no – not excited – " I spluttered.

"Hush, don't talk or you'll choke more! Haha!"

Rukawa

My ears pricked up. A guy is interested in Shizuka The Shrew? 20-1 he's from a mental institution. Tsk tsk.

Shizuka

"Yeah – " Mitsui said in between guffaws, "I think Shoichi has something to say to you,"

No. Not now. Not in front of everybody!

Shoichi came, grasping in his hand a piece of paper. I think it was his "speech", or something. Argh.

"Shizuka, I really, really like you. If I am Romeo," He waved his hand with great exaggeration, "will you be my Juliet?"

Everyone was clutching their stomachs, laughing. My cheeks felt hot.

Rukawa

Oh, so her admirer is none other than Shoichi. They make a great match, if you ask me – the moronic couple. How romantic. LOL.

Shizuka

Shoichi continued with his speech.

"If I am Kurt Cobain – "

Someone hand me a bucket, I need to puke. Shoichi – Kurt Cobain?

(author's note: Kurt Cobain was the front man of Nirvana)

"- Will you be my Courtney Love?"

(author's note: And Courtney Love is his widow – he's dead, sob.)

"NO!" I exclaimed, quite horrified.

"Ok, never mind then. But if I were…"

"NO!!"

"The upcoming performance – we'll play Romeo and Juliet – you and I!"

"WE ARE NOT DOING ROMEO AND JULIET,"

He looked at me, wide-eyed and surprised.

"We're not?"

"WHO TOLD YOU OTHERWISE?" I demanded.

He looked at Mitsui.

Mitsui

If you want to know the full, juicy story, it'll have to stretch back all the way to, uhh, yesterday.

We were playing Truth or Dare, right? And Shizuka dared me to confess my "love" to Shoichi, remember? Well, this was what happened…

(Mitsui's flashback)

"Shoichi, umm… actually, I have something to… uhh, confess." I began.

Damn, they're already laughing away.

Shoichi blinked.

"Well, go on!"

"I, uhh, actually…"

This sucks.

"Hush, say no more!" He lowered his spectacles and gazed into my eyes. I shuddered. "Are you… in love with me?"

Hmm. It isn't supposed to go like this. He isn't supposed to believe it!!

He sighed.

"There's nothing to be ashamed of, being gay, but I already have someone I like…"

He pulled me to a corner and whispered into my ear. It tickled, and sent shivers down my entire body.

"Shizuka!"

Shoichi likes Shizuka. Shoichi. Shizuka. MWAHAHAHAAA!!!

I turned back to look at Shizuka. She'd obviously thought her revenge plan worked. Well, it backfired! Hah!

"Really? Well I can tell you how to go about telling her…"

(end of Mitsui's flashback)

Shizuka looked at me and smiled. Her smile was petrifying. She looked like how some psycho would've looked before cutting up bodies or something obscene like that. Errr.

"We're not doing Romeo and Juliet," Said Shizuka. "We're doing Little Red Riding Hood."

"Little – Little Red Riding Hood?!"

"Shizuka! First there was Twinkle Twinkle Little Star, now there's Little Red Riding Hood!"

"Second childhood, Shizuka?"

"Well, just as long as I'm not Little Red Riding Hood," I said.

"Oh of course not. You'll be the grandmother," She said with an evil twinkle in her eye.

Me. Little Red Riding Hood's grandmother. Doesn't that make me Old Red Riding Hood, or something?

No, that's not the point. The point is – I'll have to dress up like an old lady and wear silly, frilly things. No!

"Why is it that you always seem to have most control over things?" I grumbled.

"Not most control," She said placidly. "Totalitarian."

I decided that Shizuka could be a real tyrant when she wanted to.

Rukawa

"Hullo, Piggyboy." The Shrew greeted.

Piggyboy. How disgustingly sweet a name. Ugh.

"Will you play Little Red Riding Hood?" She continued.

Little Red Riding Hood? What on earth is that?

I gathered it was some play. Not wanting to appear stupid, I said, "Whatever."

She looked surprised, and so did the others.

"Really?"

Little Red Riding Hood. Riding Hood, Riding Hood… OH. He's the guy that robs from the rich to give to the poor, right?

"Whatever." I repeated.

Everyone started bursting into laughter.

"Y-you really want to?" They asked incredulously.

Why? Are they jealous I get to play the hero, or something?

"You can have the role if you want," I offered.

Man, I feel like charity-doer today. Rukawa – the generous one. Hmm.

"No thanks! Haha!"

Mitsui

Rukawa – Little Red Riding Hood! And I thought I was pathetic.

Results of casting:

Little Red Riding Hood: Rukawa (LOL)

Grandmother: Me (-_-;)

Hunter: Sakuragi

Wolf: Youhei

Detention Day 9

Rukawa

I stared at the script blankly.

'Once upon a time there was a dear little girl who was loved by everyone who looked at her…'

Dear little girl? Must be a typo. Anyway…

'… but most of all by her grandmother…'

HER grandmother?

'… … Little Red Riding Hood, however, had been running about and picking flowers…'

Picking flowers? I thought he was supposed to steal money! And why is he a girl?!

I scrolled down and looked at my lines.

"Oh, grandmother, what big ears you have!"

No, this doesn't look too good.

I was horrified. But for all my inward incredulity, all I could manage was a weak, "Little Red Riding Hood is a… girl?"

Shizuka heard me.

 "Duh. What did you think?"

Let me see now. I thought Little Red Riding Hood was the righteous, courageous and butt-kicking hero who stole from the rich and gave the money to the poor. If I tell her that, I'm finished. I'll never hear the end of it!

She narrowed her eyes.

"You didn't think it was… Robin Hood, did you?"

The people around me elapsed into fits of laughter. The laughter was so contagious; the gangsters who usually did their own thing started laughing too.

Sakuragi

NYAHAHAHAAA!! Foxy-face thought Little Red Riding Hood was Robin Hood!

I felt a hand on my shoulder, and turned around, still laughing. It was one of the gangsters, also laughing.

"W-what are ya'll laughing about?"

I stared at him. He stared at me. Then, we both roared with laughter.

"NYAHAHAHAHAAAA!!!"

Rukawa

She's done it again. I'm totally humiliated. Totally.

I got up and walked out of the room, utterly disgraced. She came after me.

Why? Want to apologize? Seen the error of your ways?

I halted, half-expecting her to say 'sorry'.

"Well, what?" I asked.

She walked up to me.

"You forgot your script," She said.

With that, she went back into the classroom, laughing like a madcap ruffian.

Argh. I've got to get out of this. I've got to get out of this! No way am I wearing a silly red cap and red dress and prance around on stage picking flowers!

Detention Day 11

Shizuka

Piggyboy hasn't been coming to school for the past 3 days. I wonder what the hell is up with him. Oh hell, who cares? - just as long as he turns up for the rehearsal tomorrow…

Detention Day 12

We're to rehearse in front of the ruddy Discipline Master in 20 minutes, and HE'S STILL NOT HERE!!

"What now, Shizuka?" Asked Mitsui.

"How'd I know?" I replied, fuming.

"Why don't you stand in for him, Shizuka?"

I? I STAND IN FOR PIGGYBOY?!

"I?" I cried menacingly. "You're saying I stand in for that CREEP? Who wrote the damn script? Who did the – "

"Ok, ok."

Mitsui

In the end, we drew lots. Sniff sniff. Poor Miyagi…

Miyagi

I'm playing Little Red Riding Hood. All this just because Kaede Rukawa, that stuck-up imbecile, refused to come to school! I'll have it out with him after school!!

The Rehearsal, Scene 3

Me: Oh, umm, what big ears you have!

Youhei (who looks ridiculous with that conical wolf's nose made out of vanguard sheet): The better to hear you with, my child.

Me: But, grandmother, what big eyes you have.

Youhei (whose whiskers look ridiculous too): The better to see you with, my child.

Me: But, grandmother, what big hands you have!

Youhei: The better to hug you with, my dear.

This is so lame.

Me: Oh, but grandmother, what a terribly big mouth you have.

Youhei: The better to eat you with! Nyahaha!!

Me: Ahh!! (throws up both hands and waves a silly white flag)

The Rehearsal, Scene 4

Sakuragi: Do I find you here, old sinner! I have long sought you!!

Why does Sakuragi get to play the hero?

The Rehearsal, Scene 5 (made up by ourselves)

Me (to the audience): I have learnt my lesson. I will not take the dangerous path again!!

Two extras: Hey Red! You cannot go to your grandmother's house!!

Me: Why?

Two extras: Because you'll get eaten up! Wait. What's that in your basket?

Me (smirks): The wolf.

After the whole ordeal

"You must know where Rukawa lives. SPEAK!!" I grabbed the collar of one of his fans. I recognized her. She was 'Ru'.

With that, Shizuka and I marched to his house in fury.

Shizuka and Miyagi

Damn that imbecile! How dare he not come?

Mitsui, Sakuragi, Youhei, and the others

Just going for the show… should be quite a showdown, nyahaha.

Shizuka

Wow, his house sure is big.

"You all are friends of Young Master?" Asked a servant.

Friends? No, I don't think so.                  

"This way, please. A young miss is also here to see him. Young Master has been ill," She said, and led us up the stairs to his room.

A young miss? His girlfriend?

Youhei

In Rukawa's room was… Haruko?!

"WAAAAHAAAHAAA, what's Haruko-chan doing in Rukawa's room, Youhei?!" Sakuragi wailed.

"Haha!" I laughed, amused. "You've been dumped again, Sakuragi!"

Shizuka

Oh, so it's Haruko. What the hell is she doing here? Come to wait on her dearest Rukawa? Sheesh.

(Shizuka's imagination)

Haruko: Rukawa darling, it's time for your medicine!

Rukawa: Coming, Haruko darling.

Haruko: Rukawa dear, give me a kiss!
Rukawa: Alright, my dear.

Haruko: Rukawa honey bunny, say you love me.

Rukawa: I love you, Haruko honey.

(end of Shizuka's imagination)

Miyagi and I stomped right into his room.

"Shi- Shizuka-chan! Miyagi!" She exclaimed, a little surprised. Her face reddened. "I'm here to see Rukawa as the Assistant Manager of the Basketball Club…"

Who needs her explanations? Do I look like I gave a damn?

"Go away." I shoved her aside, and grabbed Rukawa by the neck of his shirt. He was sitting up in bed, trying his best to look ill.

You can't fool me, Piggyboy!!

"Get up! Stop feigning illness!" I exclaimed

"Shizuka-chan!" Haruko whined. I rolled my eyes. She was so irritating.

"Yeah, Rukawa! Stop feigning – " Miyagi stopped short, and turned to me. "How d'you know he's faking it?"

Rukawa pointed to his throat, indicating that he had no voice.

"Soar throat, eh?" Shizuka said. "And you're drinking hot chocolate? Is that a new remedy?" She pointed to the mug of brown stuff on his bedside table.

"Flu." Rukawa said.

"AHA, now you can talk?"

"Rukawa! How can you be so irresponsible! You said you'd be Little Red Riding Hood!" I cried.

He made a grimace.

"Medical certificate?" Demanded Shizuka.

He took a slip of paper out from his pocket. She snatched it from him.

"Issued by Rukawa Family Clinic… you're despicable, Piggyboy!" She said.

"Lowdown!" I added.

He shrugged.

"Who gives a shit about what you think, shrew?" He said coldly.

Shizuka

I think I've said this before, and I'll say it again. I hate being called a shrew!! But I can't help it, can I? It's his ruddy mouth and he can say whatever he pleases, and usually that's nonsensical bullshit. Argh.

I turned to look at Haruko. Her eyes were wide open in fright and bewilderment. Everything about her just screamed, "I'M A DAMSEL IN DISTRESS, COME SAVE MEEEE".

Hmph.

So I'm a shrew and she's an angel. FINE.

"And nobody gives a shit about what you think either, Piggyboy." I said icily, and stomped out.

 Why am I so bothered? If Piggyboy wants to think that way, I'll just let him be. Stupid Piggyboy.

Rukawa

Haha. Go! Go as far away as possible, and I hope I never see you again, shrew. In fact, I've got a good mind to present you with a one-way ticket to Timbuktu.

Miyagi

Sakuragi and Youhei stood at the foot of the stairs, looking like statues as Shizuka swept past them. They relaxed after she was out of earshot.

"What's with her, Miyagi?"

"What happened in there?"

I shrugged. I didn't understand, either. I thought I should be the one flaring up at Rukawa, and that Shizuka was only my, uhh, sidekick.

Back in Shizuka's house

Akira

"Tell me honestly, Akira." My sister began.

Oh no. When girls ask you to be "honest", it's not a very good thing.

"Am I a nice girl?" She asked.

UHHH.

"Oh yes," I said. "You're nice and pretty and kind and – "

She threw a shoe at me.

Oops, I guess I overdid it.

"Be honest!"

Well ok, I'll be honest.

"Well, no."

She threw another shoe at me.

See? I told you. It's a lose-lose situation. Sigh.

Author's note: I enjoyed writing this chapter. I hope all of you enjoyed reading it too ^^

The next episode will feature Micchy! So, fans of micchy, stay tuned!

Thanks everyone who reviewed chapter 6! Unchained - there you are! Mitsui's encounter revealed ^____^