Only a few more chapters left and even more angsty Anakin goodness! And some much needed BRObikin!
Anyways, as always reviews are much appreciated! Enjoy!
The battle had been won. Despite his best efforts, General Grievous had fallen to the hands of "Jedi Scum". The battle had been long and intense, and Kit Fitso barely escaped with his life. He thanked the Force that somehow he somehow managed to escape with minimal injuries. As soon as Grievous fell to his death, he requested that Commander Cody send word of the long sought out victory. Everything on Utapau was winding down and the master would be leaving the next morning, just to make sure the citizens of that planet were truly safe and secure. Everything was starting to look up for the Jedi Order and the Republic.
The same could not be said of Anakin. Though he knew what needed to be done, the second he set foot on the temple grounds his resolve weakened once again and he sulked off into his small quarters. He wanted to be alone, to think about everything that had gone on in the past few days. He felt torn, not knowing what to believe anymore. He felt like he was being used, like everyone just wanted him for something.
Anakin growled as he kicked off his boots and laid on the bed to rest his eyes, aggravated and lost. He pondered if the Jedi and the Sith were really any different. They both seemed to want him for the same reason: to control the Republic. The Republic was in such a terrible state, but whose fault was it really? Would it really be better with a new Chancellor, or would everything quickly descend into further chaos? If he allowed to Chancellor to gain further control of the Republic, then perhaps Anakin would be able to overthrow him and rule the galaxy himself, or with his wife. They could make everything how they'd wanted it to be, with Padmé residing as the official leader and Anakin eliminating anyone who stood in their way.
Anakin's eye shot open as he realized how dark his thoughts were becoming, terrified by them but not knowing who to turn to. Padmé already had enough to deal with and shouldn't have to deal with a basket case for a husband, and he especially didn't want to stress her out with the baby going to be born any day now. Padmé… Yet another reason to make sure Palpatine was alive, and another reason to consider becoming his apprentice. He needed to keep the love of his life alive.
Train yourself to let go of everything you fear to lose…
Anakin remembered Master Yoda's words quite clearly, though he found this to be incomprehensible. How could he give up Padmé? He couldn't lose her, not after everyone he'd lost… Qui-Gon… His Mother… Ahsoka. The Dark Side couldn't have been the only way to save his beloved, but after months of searching it was the only method he'd found.
Anakin turned over on his bed, head burying into his pillow as he burst into tears once again. He was tired of being angry. He was tired of living a double life. He was tired of not being able to trust anyone. Most of all, he was tired of being afraid. He had a faction of the Clone army at his command and he was one of the strongest, if not the strongest, Jedi currently alive. Yet with all the power he had, he was still so afraid. He couldn't remember a time in his life when he hadn't been fearful of something.
I'm not afraid to die…
Padmé had once said to him before giving him the second most wondrous revelation he'd ever heard, the first being when he found out he was going to be a father. If only he could return her sentiments of not fearing her death. Things would have been a lot easier that way.
How could he raise their child if she died? He didn't know how he'd be able to do such a thing. Every time he saw their child's face he'd be reminded of her. Every time the child reached a new milestone, he'd miss her. That's why he needed to save her, not just for himself but for also their child.
"What child would want a Sith for a father?" he questioned out loud to himself as he stared vacantly at the wall. "Padmé would never want a Sith as a husband…" Obi-Wan would certainly abandon him as well, should be become a Sith. If Padmé died during childbirth, Anakin would have absolutely no choice but to the leave the Jedi Order. Obi-Wan would likely visit when possible and Anakin would at least have his child, but he'd have to raise that child by himself. No matter what he did, it seemed as if he'd end up alone.
Train yourself to let go of everything you fear to lose…
Anakin heard in his mind once again. He sat up, let out a deep breath, and began to meditate on just that. If no matter what he would end up alone, at the very least he could try to not be afraid of ending up that way. He slowed his breathing, trying to pace it, trying to reach tranquility. He'd never been very good at meditating and gave up after a half hour of nothing.
He stood up, deciding he needed to talk to someone… Knowing he needed to talk to someone. He made his way out his door and down the hall. He knocked on a door, hoping the one person he felt could help him was inside. "Master Kenobi?"
After a few moments, the door opened to reveal the Jedi Master. Obi-Wan motioned for the boy to follow inside, knowing that even though they had a breakthrough that morning, repairing Anakin was far from over. Anakin sat in a comfortable chair, the one he always resided in when he visited his master in his quarters.
Obi-Wan sat across from him, taking a drink of his tea before asking, "Anakin, is everything alright?"
"Yes," Anakin said, his voice betraying him and cracking.
Obi-Wan didn't vocalize a response, but gave him a look signifying that he knew his friend was indeed full of bantha fodder.
"No…" Anakin admitted, letting his guard down. There was no purpose in coming to Obi-Wan for help if he wouldn't even let him know what was wrong. "I don't know how to let go. Master Yoda told me to let go of all I fear to lose, and I don't think I can do that. I don't see there being any point in doing that now."
"What do you mean, Anakin?"
"We both know that my time in the Order is likely to be running out," Anakin said, his voice ornery. "When the baby is born, even if Padmé survives… They're going to know that I'm the father. Even if we don't tell anyone else, the child's midichlorian count will give that away." He signed, erratically running his fingers through his hair. "If Padmé dies, though…"
"You'll have to leave the Order to take care of the baby by yourself," Obi-Wan finished. "Which is why, if she does die, I'm going to leave the Order as well."
"Obi-Wan?"
"You can't raise a baby by yourself, especially while you're grieving for your wife," Obi-Wan explained.
"I can't let you do that. All you've ever wanted it to be a Jedi. It's all you've worked for, and you've already sacrificed so much for me."
"I've sacrificed quite enough to the Order, and I've paid my dues to democracy. Even though I do enjoy my job as a Jedi, I can't leave you to deal with this on your own." Kenobi had thought long and hard about this since he'd found out about the nightmares. There was no doubt that this what he wanted to do. "Besides, Anakin… This this is only if Padmé dies."
"You believe she won't?" Anakin questioned bitterly, feeling like the older Jedi was just trying to fill him with false hope. "My premonitions have been right before. I see no reason to doubt this one."
"I've been thinking about this a lot the past few days, Anakin, and I've an idea as to what's been going on," Obi-Wan contemplated. "Has Palpatine discovered your relationship with Padmé?"
"…Yes."
"If he is a Sith Lord, he's no doubt an extremely powerful one. Otherwise, we'd have found him out long ago. He's likely sensed the life growing in your wife's stomach at some point. You mentioned also that he knew about your dreams about your Mother…"
"What does that have to do with anything?" Anakin scoffed, not sure what the other man was getting at. The stream of thought seemed so random to him and his patience was growing thing.
"Patience, Anakin. I was about to explain that." Obi-Wan took a finished his cup of tea, sadly looking down at the now empty glass. "What if this time he's the reason you're having these dreams?
"You mean like he's planting these dreams in my head?" Anakin furrowed his brows thoughtfully. "Is that even possible?"
"I've never planted dreams in anyone's head," Obi-Wan began, "but I believe it's entirely possible. With little practice, I was able to sway your dreams when you first arrived here into much more pleasant ones. I imagine with practice and the desire, one could learn to plant full-fledged dreams into someone's mind and I'm sure the Sith could easily use those same powers to plant nightmares into people's heads."
Anakin looked at Obi-Wan thoughtfully, hoping that this theory was right. "What if you're wrong and Padmé does die?"
"If Padmé's of perfect health, as long as she's got access to a Medical Droid, she'll have no issue delivering that baby. These aren't problems that happen in the Republic, Anakin. Our technology is too advanced for this to be an issue."
Anakin was silent in thought for a moment, knowing what he needed to do. "Thank you, Master. I need to go talk to the Council."
Obi-Wan nodded, having an inkling of what Anakin needed to talk to them about.
Anakin and Obi-Wan made their way to the Council Chambers, announcing that Anakin had extremely important news. After a short while, the room became full of many important individuals and holograms of some of those who were unable to be there. Most of the Council were there, as well as the Senators who had made the alliance with the Jedi Order that morning.
"Important news, you have young Skywalker?" Yoda asked after everyone settled down. "Must be, for all you have gathered."
"Yes, Master," Anakin said, nodding. He wanted to make sure to put a plan in motion before the darkness could begin to cloud him again. "Our worst fears have been confirmed. The Chancellor is a Sith Lord."
Though the idea had been brought up before, many were still shocked when those words escaped Anakin's lips. A stunned silence filled the room for some time as everyone took in what those words really meant.
Padmé vocalized what much of the room had been thinking: "It's one thing to suspect such a thing, but it's another thing entirely to find out that this is actually true."
"Are you sure?" Mace Windu queried. "This is a drastic statement that would call for redical action we cannot afford to take unless there's no doubt."
"He knows the ways of the Dark Side." Anakin tried not to be irritated by Mace Windu's unsurprising lack of faith. It's all he'd ever really gotten for the man during his time in the Order, so why would he act any differently now? "As Master Kenobi had speculated, he wishes to take on an apprentice. He told me this himself."
"You?" Obi-Wan asked, a hint of scorn evident in his voice. He would never admit this as he tried to be a proper Jedi, but he had grown to resent Palpatine even before the idea that Sheev could be a Sith Lord was even a whisper. He sensed that Palpatine was the culprit most times Anakin tried to distance himself from his former Master. Obi-Wan couldn't help but take it personally that the Chancellor was trying to take his former apprentice as his own. "He offered to train you, didn't he?"
Anakin nodded silently in response, sensing how much that actually bothered Obi-Wan through their Force bond.
"We must act quickly, then." Mace Windu gestured to a few other Jedi who were there, letting them know that they would be the ones going with him to take care of Palpatine.
"You will need my help if you are going to arrest him," Anakin said, very sure of himself about this.
"For your own good, stay out of this affair," Mace Windu said. "I sense a great deal of confusion in you, young Skywalker. There is much fear that clouds your judgment."
"With all due respect, Master, I'm going with you," Anakin spat a bit more forcefully than he'd initially intended. They wanted him to spy on the Chancellor yet refused to let him be the one to actually deal with him. They used him as their poster boy for the war, yet granted him to real sort of respect. They erroneously banished his Padawan from the order, yet refused to really do anything to make up for those mistakes. Anakin had enough of their bantha fodder. "I'm going to be there to deal with him, with or without the Councils help and approval."
Much of the room was silent, not knowing how to react to a knight addressing a Master in such a way. True, Anakin often didn't follow the rules and spoke out of turn, and maybe he had spoken to Kenobi like that during his Padawan days, but he's never defied someone on the Council outright like that.
"Much determination, you have, to deal with the Chancellor," Yoda's hologram said, not the only one curious as to why Anakin was reacting in such a way but the only one who actually vocalized it. "Why?"
"He needs to be eliminated, not just arrested," Anakin said matter-of-factly. "He's very powerful and my skills are going to be necessary. I know him better than anyone else here, so I'd be a good asset."
"True, this is, but more, I sense."
"There's really a lot of reasons." Like the emotional conflict I almost always feel that I've come to realize is mostly due to him…
Yoda was quiet, waiting patiently for the young Jedi to continue what he was saying. The old green Master was beginning to wonder himself if things in the Jedi Order needed to change. He could easily sense the complex feelings almost always flowing through Skywalker, things that had been there since he was a young boy. He felt that had they taught the boy to handle his emotions and his past instead of never dealing with them, he'd have been far better off.
Yoda knew that had it not been for an Obi-Wan Kenobi and a Padmé Amidala, chances are Anakin would have become a Sith Apprentice. He couldn't deny that the Jedi Order had a lot to do with that potential outcome, and he no longer could deny that attachments were likely the very thing that had saved him.
"He's too powerful. He'll just escape if he's kept alive." Anakin was solemn, uneasy about sharing emotions, especially in front of so many Jedi. "He'll just go find another apprentice, and rip them apart from the inside like he did to Darth Maul, and Count Dooku…" …and me.
Yoda was thoughtful a moment. "More you have to say, I sense there is."
Anakin noticed the Master glanced just a moment at Padmé's stomach, causing his own to churn. He looked from Obi-Wan, to Padmé, to her belly, and back to Obi-Wan. "You know, don't you?"
Yoda nodded in response. Obi-Wan furrowed his brow, knowing that things could potentially get really bad really quickly.
Padmé's eyes widened. "Anakin…" I won't let you give up your future for me… she had said this to him several times during their relationship, and she wanted to say it now. However, now it seemed as if that were no longer an option. She supposed that once she confessed her love to him on Geonosis, it couldn't have been an option anymore.
"What's going on, here?" Bail Organa asked, he and Mon Mothma confused as to what was going on. Not being Force-sensitive prevented them from knowing of the high concentration of midichlorians located in Padmé's uterus, much less who the father was.
Padmé looked at her husband for confirmation that it really was okay to confess their secret. "I'm eight months pregnant," she said softly, her proper Senator voice witling away and revealing how vulnerable she felt disclosing this information. She tightened her loose, flowing dress around her stomach, making the pregnancy especially obvious.
Mothma's and Organa's expression revealed their surprise, though none of the Jedi were. At least, none of them were until Anakin spoke.
"She's pregnant with my child," Anakin looked back at Padmé, grabbing her hand, "…our child."
A soft murmur fell upon the Council, most of them not expecting this revelation.
"Deal with this matter later, we will," Yoda proclaimed. "Dealt with first, the most pressing issue must be."
"Skywalker is too close to the situation," Windu reiterated. "His judgement is too clouded. There is much danger if he goes."
"Is he not the one the prophecy has spoken of?" Obi-Wan chimed in. "Would this not be the time he was to bring balance to the force?"
"This is far too serious a matter to put any weight on a prophecy at this time." Windu countered.
"A prophecy, misread could have been," Yoda added.
"His skills are invaluable," Ki-Adi-Mundi refuted. "With how powerful this Sith Lord must be to have eluded us for so long, we may not stand a chance of even arresting the Chancellor without him."
"This matter needs to be taken care of quickly," Mon Mothma said. "If the Jedi Council can't decide how to quickly and efficiently handle this matter, then maybe we need to be ones taking care of it."
"This isn't just some regular corrupt politician," Windu demurred. "A non-Jedi confronting a Sith Lord… that's basically suicide!"
"It's taking far too long to decide if some one person is to go with the Council or not," Bail Organa asserted. "Just take a vote. Right now. And then go deal with him before this matter gets any worse."
"I suppose that could work," Mace Windu said, just wanting the bickering to stop.
"I don't think that would do any good," Padmé chided.
"Why do you say that, Senator Amidala?" Ki-Adi-Mundi asked.
"Anakin and Obi-Wan left fifteen minutes ago when the quarrelling started. They're likely already engaging Palpatine right now."