Again dedicated to EscapingMyImagination because she's one of my best friends and in my creative writing club. And if someone in the club gets upset, nothing gets written. And if nothing gets written, we wait another year before finishing the play. And if we do that, I throw mini-Hiroki-ish tantrum. :)
Gone Forever by Three Days Grace
"Don't know what's going on.
Don't know what went wrong.
Feels like a hundred years.
I still can't believe you're gone.
So I'll stay up all night,
With these blood-shot
While these walls surround me with the story of our life."
"Misaki is gone." The thought had recently sunk in.
But Akihiko was done crying over it. The fact was, he still had writing. And it had always been such a forgiving outlet. His muse would never abandon him for the sake of its brother. It would never slam a door in his face. And it would never leave him alone.
So, he went back to writing. Stuck in the same savage world he'd been in before Misaki.
"I feel so much better
Now that you're gone forever.
I tell myself that
I don't miss you at all.
I'm not lying."
Sure, he could always tell himself that things, that he was perfectly alright. He'd been able to live without Misaki before, he could do it now. Sure, it was fine.
Inside, he was simply trying not to think about it.
He was letting himself get lost in the same old dreams again. Forcing himself to type down everything. And avoiding the old BL series like the plague.
But he couldn't hide from it forever. The series, as Aikawa liked to remind him, was still on-going…
"I hope you're missing me."
It was wrong, but he couldn't help hoping Misaki was miserable without him. And at the same time, he wished Misaki well. He couldn't stand the thought of Misaki depressed, yet he didn't want to imagine him happy either.
Was he messed up, or what?
Finally, a decent Usami chapter! And thanks to everyone for the lovely reviews. (And of course to Miyayu for often making me smile.) I should probably apologize for taking so long to write these. Because of the move, it's been harder to find time to write. Lucky, we should be done by next week. (I feel like Hiroki, having so many books to find space for. haha)