A/N: This poem came out of nowhere, after 'Paid in Full' was written. Given Avon's poetry for Vila in 'Housewarming', it seems he continued to pen some when he was emotionally involved in an event, as he certainly was with this one.
Neither the characters from Blake's Seven nor Darkover belong to me. I just like to play with them!
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Mirrors
A poem by Kerr Avon.
Two mirrors I've had in my life, up till now,
Two times have I met myself, as it were.
The first time, I'd traveled for over twenty years
To get Vila's help in my time of need.
Vila wasn't enough, though, so they came to me
To deal with the problem, to save, well, me.
The second time, much older was I,
When I met my son, that I never knew,
I wanted to like him, but failed.
Servalan, his mother, had raised him well,
To hate me, detest me, and kill those I loved.
He looked like I did, so they said,
But my madness I saw, with her cruelty o'erlaid,
And knew he was dangerous to me and mine.
He came to kill, of that I was sure,
Though at first I thought it was to be me.
But to Servalan, her revenge he was.
She'd planned for this day since we were young.
Then, I'd rejected her and all her ambitions,
The cost to me and Vila: his family, the first
Of many payments we'd make to her pride.
She pursued us across galaxies and worlds,
She killed our friends, our loves, our lives,
So many untold deaths could be laid at her door
That the black of her hair seemed to stand
For the pitch burned in hell.
She stole my seed of life to produce an heir,
On Terminal it was, or so it she said,
To gain a weapon she could point at my heart
In order to kill what I counted dear.
After all these years, to hold such a grudge,
It's inconceivable, unless you know her.
She was only fifteen when she asked me to be
Consort to her as ruler of the galaxy.
She couldn't take no for an answer, then as now,
And destroyed our first life, Vila's home and family.
She hounded us, trapped us, killed our friends.
With our son as her new weapon, she came to face me.
She wanted to use him. Instead he used her.
He was out of her control, that I knew,
From the first time I saw him, on vidcast,
As he killed Blake's wife.
When he came to Avilla, he was primed
To kill my beloved, whoever it be.
Servalan knew, had known for years,
That Vila was mine and I was his,
But she raised our son to abhor above all
Any relationship such as ours.
She purposely held back the truth from our son,
To make it worse when at last he found out
That no woman had taken me away from his mother,
The mother he loved above all else.
When he found it was Vila, his hate knew no bounds,
Both for me and for Vila,
And perhaps the rest of the world, too.
His hate broke something down deep inside,
A breaking that could not be cured.
My madness, inherited so obviously by Torr,
Combined with her cruelty to make him
The most dangerous man I'd ever met.
He drew his weapon, my love to kill,
And shot Vila. My world crashed down
But when I started his life to end,
She raised Imipak, a threat only to me.
It failed to kill me and Blake saw his chance.
He sprang and grappled and…killed my son.
Blake stood there, over Torr, as once I had over Blake.
The parallel was more than I could bear.
The justice of it all, the revenge of time,
Almost undid my reason, unhinged my mind.
Vila, however, as always my anchor,
The falconer to my falcon, the center that holds.
With him to care for, my center, my heart,
I had to go on, go forward, live life again.
Servalan's plan, her weapon, had failed.
She had nothing to show for her years.
Her son is gone, my life is my own.
With Vila beside me, my life can go on.
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A/N: Ah, but that isn't the end of this story. There's still a lot of unresolved issues between Avon and Servalan. Find out how these are taken care of, in 'Reflections by Firelight'.