She took both of his hands in hers, and took a deep breath. She briefly wished she had more time just to be with him before she blew his world apart, but hers had been in shambles for weeks. She figured she might as well head in.
"In 2091, you made it to the future..." she started. She took him through what they had been through prior to his arrival, and her enslavement by Kassius. He was silent, save for a few questions and changes of expression at her story. She did her best to explain the time loop, and all the times they had tried and failed to change it. She explained the explosion that had caused the rift in space-time that had created the fear dimension. She admitted as much that she didn't completely understand it herself, and that they had all shared differing views of whether time was fixed or fluid.
"We proposed to each other." He looked up suddenly at that, and swallowed hard. She continued. "You when I was deaf because of Kassius, and then I proposed when you rescued us. There was a lot going on, but Coulson arranged for us to get married at the Lighthouse in one of the rifts that was presenting as a beautiful meadow." She then pulled a chain out from under her shirt, which had her ring and his hanging from it. She had taken it off in case he noticed when she first saw him. "These were... are... our rings."
He started to get a really sinking feeling.
"There's a video of the wedding, but I didn't know how you would feel about watching it, and you don't have to unless you want to or when you're ready. I know this is all so confusing, but even if you're not ready to take that step at this point in time, I just have to say we were so happy. And it was one of the most beautiful days of my life."
"It wasn't me, though."
"That's what is so frustrating about this, Fitz. It was you. And you're him. You have to understand that. It wasn't like I lived this part of my life with another person, it was you. And if the loop hadn't been broken and the world hadn't been saved, maybe it would have created a paradox. Maybe it did anyway, I still don't fully understand it myself. But Robin gave me the postcard that you left with her, and that's when I realized - maybe you were still out there."
It couldn't be avoided anymore. He had to ask. "What happened to the me that ended up in the future? Is he out there waiting to pop in on us?" he said, and jerked his head toward the door. He meant it as a joke, but not really. At this point, he was starting to believe any and all of the terrible possibilities.
"I was getting to that," she said. "And while you still have to remember that it was still you - my Fitz - who came through to the future, you have to keep in mind with what I'm about to tell you that the outcome won't be the same. The future is not fixed, and neither are your actions, okay?"
He nodded.
"I know what you've been struggling with ever since you got out of the Framework. Hearing the Doctor in your head," she said. She saw his jaw clench. "And no one can blame you for that. We know the Framework did a number on you, and you hadn't had any time to recover from it before you were isolated in a prison for six months. I know you didn't tell anyone there because you were afraid of what they would do, and you were afraid of yourself. Then you were frozen and sent into space for decades."
"How do you know?" he asked.
Her heart broke at the tears pooling in his eyes. "You were under an incredible amount of stress. You were working so hard, day and night, to find an answer to stop the world from ending, and we should have... I should have made sure you were taken care of better. But there was so much going on, and we just couldn't see what was happening."
She then told him how the only solution to the time rift was the gravitonium, and the only solution to manipulating the gravitonium was to restore Daisy's powers. She explained as gently as she could the psychological break, and what his other self had done to Daisy.
"Oh my God," he said, horrified. His greatest fear, that the Doctor would manifest inside of him outside of the Framework, had come true. And he had betrayed the trust of one of his best friends in the process.
Jemma could tell he wanted to run, but that would not only be the worst thing he could do right now, she wasn't going to let him do it. "Fitz, look at me," she said.
He met her eyes.
"The you that did that does not exist yet, because the you that had to make that choice won't have to."
"What about other choices, Jemma?"
"We know now to get you help, so you won't be going through that. I'm not going to let it happen, Fitz. But you have to believe that and not retreat into doubting yourself and into those dark thoughts. Because you are a good man, and even with what happened, you were still a good man."
"Going to take a wild guess that Daisy doesn't feel the same way."
"We've had that talk, and she knows this isn't something you would do under normal circumstances. She also knows it's preventable now."
"Even so, I... How am I supposed to live knowing I'm capable of that?"
"I can't tell you how to feel about it, all I can do is try to help you through it. I just want you to fully understand without that extreme circumstance you really showed no other signs, and we have access to therapies for these traumas.
But you also need to know, before we go any further, that this is our second chance. Maybe our millionth chance, I can't keep up anymore. Because when the loop was broken, it was broken by Daisy defeating Talbot, who had been taken over by the gravitonium - I will get to that later - and by you sacrificing yourself to save Polly and her mother. Even the you that was broken by the Framework gave his life to save other people. Mack was there with you when it happened, just in case he doesn't feel comfortable broaching it later." Jemma took a deep breath. She knew it was too much at one time, but Fitz was too smart to leave him to wonder. In his head, he would come up with something even worse than the truth.
Fitz would have given anything to be with Jemma again, and it sounded like he had. His head was spinning, and he didn't know how he was going to reconcile himself with this other version of himself - the one who had done heroic and terrible things he had never thought he was capable of. He swallowed hard and pressed his fingers to his forehead.
"I just... I just need a minute," he said.
"Of course." She knew it was so very much to take on, but she willed him to work it through his brilliant mind.
"So I'm dead?" The words sounded absolutely ludicrous coming out of his mouth, but he had to verbalize it.
"The future you is, which is the one who came to rescue us, and came back to the present with us. I know with the time travel and the loop... it's a lot to take in."
"I always hated time travel stories," Fitz said.
Jemma let out a strangled laugh at that. "I know. I'm sorry we had to be in one."
Fitz squeezed her hand with both of his. "Not as sorry as I am, I'd guess."
She moved closer until they were almost forehead to forehead on the curve of the sofa, and she wrapped her arms around him. She didn't know if she would ever be able to stop doing that now. "I thought I had lost you forever," she said into the crook of his neck. "I tried to be strong, and it wasn't working very well. Then I was given the hope of getting you back again, and it's all I've clung to for the last two months, Fitz." She pulled back to look at him, her arms still around his neck. "No matter what happened from the future until that other you died, as insane as all of that sounds – as all of that is – you are the one I have spent almost half my life with. You are the one I disappeared on in that diner, and you are the one I have beaten each and every one of the odds to get back. Do you understand?"
"Yes, Jemma. You just can't imagine what it must be like to have another you out there, living out your life, making your choices..."
"You're right, I can't imagine. I had to see him do it. I'm not saying it's not strange, because it is. I'm not saying it has to be easy for you to pick up where you left off, because it won't be where I left off with you. It's like I was living with an alterna-verse Fitz, only to find out he wasn't really mine. I just don't want you to think that anything that version of you got to experience was better, or that anything he did under those impossible circumstances would be what you would do now. The whole point of this exercise has been to prove that the future can be rewritten, so while I know it is going to take some time to adjust to what I've told you, and what I still need to tell you, I need to know you're with me in this. Because I cannot be without you again."
"I am, Jemma. You know I am." He looked into her brown eyes, and he saw all the pain of what had happened without him.
"Good. So please, Fitz, no more hiding anything from me, all right? If you're struggling, tell me. If you need something, tell me. I will do whatever I can to help you, because you're all that matters. You are my life, my heart, my home," she said, tears sliding down her face as she repeated what only she knew were her vows. Looking back, she had only thought she meant them that day, and now she knew how much.
He wiped her tears away as he felt his own fall, and he knew no matter what, there had never been anything this woman could ask of him that he wouldn't do. Apparently on top of everything else, they had just overcome death, so who was he to deny her?
