Heath had spent the night thinking about how he was going to stay in touch with Karen over such a distance. It would be difficult but possible. He knew that there was a telegraph office in Virginia City and they had one in Stockton as well.
That would be the easy part. But the hard part would be getting to see her. Especially after she went back to school. That would be far too great a distance to travel very often. At least 5 days each way on the train. But she came back each summer to spend it with her family at the Ponderosa. That would be a good time to visit.
Suddenly, a scream rang throughout the house. Heath leaped out of bed and ran towards Karen's room, the thought of someone hurting her forcing his heart into his throat. He opened the door and noticed Karen sitting up in the bed still screaming. Audra had gotten out of bed and was standing over by the window.
Heath moved to the bed and sat down next to Karen. She threw herself into his arms and wrapped her own around him. Her tears soaked through the shirt he had thrown on as he ran down the hall quicker than he thought possible. He rubbed her back a little and just held her close.
"Heath! Heath, she – she – she"
"Ssshhhh. It's okay. She's gone and I'm here. You're safe in your own room at the Ponderosa. No one can hurt you here. They'd have to get past your Pa, your three brothers and all of us Barkleys before they could get to you. You are as safe here as you would be at Fort Knox. It's okay." He glanced to the door to find Hoss, Little Joe, Adam, Jarrod, Ben, Hop Sing, Nick and his mother standing there.
Heath looked at Audra. He wasn't sure if what he was doing was appropriate but he also wasn't sure if he really cared. It felt right to have Karen in his arms, to be the one comforting her from the nightmare that he had known would disturb her sleep this night.
Ben didn't look too happy to find Heath in his daughter's room but given that the young man was dressed only minus shoes and socks and his daughter was still under the covers with Audra still in the room he really didn't feel like he could say much. It was obvious that Heath was only trying to comfort Karen.
Everyone had known that Karen wouldn't sleep well tonight after what she saw while out riding with Heath. Audra sat down on the bed on the other side of Karen. "I'm sorry I got up, Karen. I should have stayed in bed beside you." Audra looked up at the others. "I thought I heard the wind picking up and decided to have a look. See if a storm was brewing or not."
Karen sat up. Heath handed her a handkerchief that he had with him. She wiped her eyes and then blew her nose. "Audra, it's not your fault. I should have listened when Heath tried to stop me from seeing her. He told me to stay back and let him check things out. I didn't listen." She turned toward the door. "I'm sorry, Pa. I should have listened to him. I should have listened to you, Heath." Her tears started again and she put the handkerchief up under her nose to stop it from dripping all over the place.
"Karen," Ben said stepping into the room. "I don't want you thinking you did anything wrong. You did something impulsive. That's normal for a girl your age. I'm sure Audra did her share of impulsive things when she was your age."
"She still does," Jarrod said. Audra shot her brother a look that promised retribution when he least expected it.
"He's right. I do. Not that he needed to say it." Audra wrapped her arms around the young woman and pulled her in close. "Heath's right, Karen. You are safe. Right here in your own home in your own bed. Your pa and brothers are close by and so are we. No one can get close to you here unless that's what you want."
"I wish I had never seen that. I wish there was a way to unsee something like that." Karen sniffled again. "I know I can't but I sure do wish I could."
Ben stepped closer and Heath moved to allow the man to be the one to comfort his daughter, as it should be. "Thank you, Heath." Ben sat down on the bed and reached for his daughter. She went willingly into his arms and leaned into his embrace. "It's okay, Karen. It's going to be okay." Ben stroked his daughter's hair and held her close.
"Pa, I'm so sorry. I didn't mean to wake everyone like that."
"I think we can all forgive you. You got scared and you simply reacted. There's nothing wrong with that. It's completely natural." Ben wanted his daughter to relax on her own terms and he wasn't sure if he could actually help her.
Suddenly, he felt Karen start yawning and he smiled. Little Joe, Hoss, and Adam walked into the room and each one kissed Karen's forehead and wished her a good night with only pleasant dreams for the remainder of it.
Victoria walked to the bed. "Pleasant dreams, Karen. Sleep well and know that you are safe." She kissed the young woman on the forehead like her brothers had and left the room.
Heath's brothers simply walked away as Hop Sing had when he realized that Karen was okay and not hurt.
Ben helped Karen to lay back down and kissed her forehead before heading out the door. "Sleep well, Karen. I'll see you in the morning."
"Good night, Pa. Thank you."
Heath stepped up to the bed. He was certain that Karen would sleep better now with all the good wishes for a peaceful night's sleep.
Leaning over, he kissed her forehead and gently caressed her cheek. "Sleep well, pretty girl. I'll see you in the morning. And don't forget, I'm just down the hall if you need me."
Karen's voice was getting drowsier and drowsier. "Thank you, Heath. Thank you for coming to check on me."
"My pleasure."
Heath left the room and Audra climbed back into the bed and curled up to Karen. "I'm right here with you, Karen. I'm not going to run away from you just because you got scared."
"Thank you, Audra." Karen's voice trailed off into silence as she finally drifted off into a sound sleep.
The next morning found a rather subdued Karen sitting at the breakfast table. She still seemed rather shaken by what she'd seen the day before.
"Ms. Victoria?" she asked of the woman seated next to her pa.
"Yes, Karen?"
"May I talk to you a little later? After breakfast?"
Victoria Barkley immediately got the feeling that this young woman was going to confide something to her that she had never even told her father and brothers. She nodded with a gentle smile. "Of course, dear. We'll go into your father's study to have our talk. If that's alright with you, Ben?"
Apparently, Ben had gotten the same feeling because he nodded. "That would be fine. I was planning on taking the boys out for a little bit of a tour of the ranch. And my boys have their chores to do. Audra, would you care to join us?"
"Actually, Pa, I'd like for Audra to be there when I talk to her mother." She looked down for a moment. "If that's alright?"
Ben had a sinking feeling about what she was going to tell Victoria. He nodded. "Of course, dear. That's fine." In his mind, he decided to ask Victoria to explain Karen's problem to him later. Even though he wasn't sure he really wanted to know.
Heath was quiet for the rest of breakfast.
After the meal, the three women adjourned to Ben's study for their talk. Ben gathered the three Barkley boys and headed out for their tour of the ranch. Hoss, Adam, and Little Joe headed out to do their chores.
Once the study door closed behind them, Victoria took a seat behind Ben's desk and looked at the young woman who had taken a seat in front of it. Audra took the other seat and waited patiently.
"Karen, you can tell us what you wished to talk about. Your father isn't here and I will only tell him if it is something that he truly needs to know."
"I think I know what Pa was thinking I wanted to talk to you about." Karen looked at Victoria. "The men that took me the second time did not assault me. They hinted that they would." Both Victoria and Audra noticed the tears building in her eyes.
Audra spoke gently. "Karen, tell us what they did do. We can help you."
"They had me blindfolded and tied to a bed. My hands at the head and my feet to the foot. They kept petting my legs, going further up under my skirt until they reached my knee. I had to brace myself so they wouldn't see me shudder. I was terrified that they would go further and find the knife at my thigh. They probably would have assaulted me if they had found that. And then killed me." Karen's head dropped and her shoulders began shaking with her sobs.
"Karen," Audra whispered standing and moving to her side. She took Karen's hand and pulled her to her feet, wrapping her in arms that promised shelter and sympathy. "I can understand why you were so scared. Just the thought of it alone is enough to make me have nightmares."
Victoria got up and walked around the desk. "I understand why you didn't want to tell your father, dear. But you need to let him and your brothers know what happened. That way they understand when you have your bad days. And you should tell Heath as well. Especially if you plan to start a relationship with him. He will need to know about it so that he knows what you're thinking of on your bad days."
"I don't even know if Heath would want me when he finds out what happened," Karen cried. "I feel so dirty. So violated. Even though they didn't, it feels like they did."
"You poor girl. To carry this around with you for so long on your own and not tell anyone, that is a sign of an inner strength that will see you through many difficult times." Victoria patted Karen's back as she cried in Audra's arms.
"Karen, Heath won't turn his back on you just because of this. Especially not when he realizes how strong you were for how long, trying to deal with it on your own. Give him a chance, Karen. He really does care about you. I know he won't let you down." Audra wasn't above pleading her brother's case. Heath was a good man and he would be good for Karen just as she would be good for him.
"Karen, can I help you to tell your family about this? Would it help?"
"Would you, Ms. Victoria? I have no idea how to tell them without breaking down," Karen said, tears still running down her face. "I don't even know if I can tell them while looking them in the eye."
"My dear girl, you are a Cartwright. Maybe not by blood, but in your heart and mind, you are a Cartwright. And the strength of a Cartwright is evident in the way you were trying to deal with this by yourself. That is something that Ben would have done. Or any one of the boys." Victoria smiled at the young woman. "I will be more than happy to be present when you tell your family about what truly happened. It will be a trial. But I believe that with their help you can get through this."
"Thank you, Ms. Victoria. Thank you so much." She looked up at Audra. "I would like you and your brothers there as well. Might as well tell everyone at one time." She took a deep breath. "You're right, Ms. Victoria. I am a Cartwright. A Cartwright in mind and heart. I will make it through this and then figure out how to deal with the consequences."
"Good girl." Victoria was very proud of the girl for making the decision to tell her family and the family that might become part of hers. It would not be an easy thing to do and it would hurt. But she knew that Karen would make through this and come out the other side much stronger.
When Ben and the Barkley boys came back from their tour of the ranch, the women had just come out of the study after making their plans to reveal Karen's 'problem' after dinner that night. Karen had agreed that it would be better to get it done quickly before she lost the courage to do it.
That evening, just as dinner was winding up, Karen got everyone's attention by standing up. "I know that everyone is curious about what I felt a need to talk to Ms. Victoria about this morning. I will tell all of you as soon as we have all finished eating. So, if everyone, Barkleys included, will just stay at the table after the meal is finished, I would appreciate it."
"Of course, Karen. We'll listen to what you have to tell us. And we'll let you tell it all before any of us ask any questions." Ben's words were a comfort to his daughter. But she wasn't sure if it would help once she got started on telling them the story she was about to tell.
When they were all finished, everyone remained at the table. Karen stood up and took a deep breath. "I know that when I asked to speak to Ms. Victoria and Audra this morning, some of you feared the worst about what had happened when I was taken the second time. I will tell you that did not happen. But I am about to tell you what did. Please let me tell the whole story before you say anything." She started telling the story about how the men had knocked her out and being tied up on the bed. Her fears, the actions of her kidnappers, the words they'd said in her presence, everything was laid on the table. The only thing she didn't tell them was her fear that they would want nothing more to do with her after this. She had decided not to guilt anyone into deciding to keep her around. They had to reach the decision on their own.
The silence at the table when she finished up her story was deafening. She just couldn't handle it. She ran from the table with a sob.
"Ben," Victoria said gently. "She was afraid to tell you this because she thought that no one would want her around anymore. She thought you would hate her and think she was ruined. Can you imagine what your silence just said to her?"
"Victoria, how could she think that we wouldn't want her?"
"Did you tell her otherwise?"
Ben thought for a moment. "Hoss, Little Joe, Adam, we need to find your sister. Quickly."
Meanwhile, no one noticed as Heath slipped out the door and went after his horse. He felt that he was just as much to blame as anyone was. He hadn't said anything either.
The fact that he was thinking about trying to find the bastards that had left the girl he loved so scarred was no consolation.