Title: The Laws of Quarterbacking

Disclaimer: I do not "own" South Park or any of its characters. The lucky bastards Trey Parker and Matt Stone do, however. I only own this plot idea and the OCs that will appear in this story.

Rating and Warning: Uhhh…T bordering on M. It's SOUTH PARK, of course! There'll be language, suggestive dialogue, sexual situations, you name it. It wouldn't be South Park without those things!

NOTE: There will be fictional landmarks, characters, events, etc. in this story. If it looks too fictional to be true or South Park canon, then it's made up by me. (Example: The name of the Texas A&M coach in this story is fictional, as are the events mentioned in this chapter.)

If you want to know who the OCs are:

Bill: Football coach at Texas A&M, Stan's older boyfriend

Maria: David's wife

Karen: Cartman's wife

Luke: Kyle's ex, showed up in previous chapters, now only mentioned in flashbacks or character dialogue

Oh, and another quick note. If you see something that's all caps, or in bold, or italicized, or whatever, that means that the character is putting a lot of emphasis on that particular word/phrase, or he/she is screaming or saying it in anger.

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Stan's Condo.

Bill was slowly and intently reading the articles that Stan had given to him, as if he was reading them for the first time. Stan glanced at the articles and then at Bill. Bill was deep in concentration reading them. Stan was wondering why Bill was reading these articles as if this news was new to him. He awaited his boyfriend's response. When Bill realized a lot of these articles were starting to become repetitive, he placed the files down on the table. He took a swig of his water bottle and sighed.

"Okay, to answer your questions. No, I did not participate in any scandal, nor did I orchestrate any. To clear up the Auburn thing. There was no cover-up. The alleged rapes were reported to both campus officials and police, and after collaboration between the college and the police department, they found that there was not enough evidence to move forward with formal prosecution. All I simply did was give a statement to the police one night that I believed the players should be presumed innocent until proven guilty.

"To clear up the Oklahoma thing. There was no paycheck fraud. I received a few paychecks set for a certain amount of money. I cashed the checks in good faith, assuming that I was getting paid that much. After about six pay periods, I received a call from the school stating that I was getting paid too much. After clearing things up with the bursar's office, it turned out that there was a scrivener's error and I was getting paid double what I should have. I immediately scheduled a payment plan with the university in which I would repay the extra amount. In nine months' time, I paid back everything I owed, plus interest. As to the quarterback issue, I will be honest that we fooled around a few times. However, nothing truly romantic ever transpired. And no, I didn't get him thrown out of school. University policy states that to stay enrolled at OU, a student must maintain a 2.0 GPA. He flunked his psychology final, which brought his overall GPA down to a 1.98, and no, there were no exceptions for athletes. He mistakenly assumed that I could use my coach charm to either change the grade or keep him in the university, and when I said I couldn't, he tried to supposedly report the paychecks. Of course, I had already cleared up the payroll matter with the university by that time. The university president and I agreed that I should resign with a letter of recommendation to another university because that ex-quarterback looked like a ticking time bomb.

"To clear up the Baylor thing. I did not tell anyone to deflate or not inflate any footballs. A certain phrase that I used was taken out of context. The morning of the game, I told my players to do whatever it takes to beat TCU, a rival school of ours. I was of course referring to plays on the field, NOT cheating. We were able to find the two players who did the deflating, and they were promptly kicked off the team and suspended for the rest of the semester. I mean, honestly, I'm a modest Southern college football coach. I'm not Bill Belichick."

Stan sat there silently, taking in everything his boyfriend said. He never thought there could have been another side to the story. The media had completely tarnished him as the bad guy.

"You know, Stan, I always thought you were a decent and smart young man who would know me better than anyone else. Hell, I thought you would know better, period! You're the star quarterback for a top-tier professional football team for God's sake! You've been in the media so much to know what's being reported about you is true and what's false. I didn't think that a few articles off the Internet would cause you to doubt me. I am somewhat disappointed and hurt. However, I know you couldn't have done all this research by yourself. You didn't just wake up this morning and think 'Hmm, I wonder if Bill Walker is a rape enabler, thief, student diddler, and sports cheater.' Someone had to have brought these allegations to your attention, so how about you be a little honest with me and tell me who told you about all this?"

Stan thought long and hard for about a minute about whether or not he should implicate Kyle in any of this. However, honesty was required from him, considering Bill was honest with him.

"It was Kyle. I went to his office earlier tonight to sign my divorce papers so he could begin the trial process. All of a sudden, he starts launching these accusations against you, saying he found these bombshell articles about you. I was literally caught off-guard. I didn't believe a word he said, which is why I did my own independent research and found that he was actually being honest. I'm sorry, but accusations like that were too much for me to ignore. Curiosity overtook me."

"You know, I don't seem to like Kyle very much to be honest with you. I don't think he's gotten over you, and he's trying to poison your mind in order to jeopardize our relationship. I know he's your lawyer, you guys had a past, and that you two were super best friends, but if you want this relationship to work, Stan, you need to decide which of us you want in your life, because it's obvious keeping us both is a path headed straight for disaster." For a moment, it almost seemed like Bill was using the "super best friends" phrase in a jeering/mocking tone.

Stan got up from the couch, feeling tired from his long day and processing everything his boyfriend just told him. He looked at Bill to make sure he was serious and not joking. Stan saw Bill's stoic expression. Bill was dead serious, with no hint of humor. He awaited Stan's reply.

"You're saying it's either you or Kyle? You do realize he's my lawyer, right?!"

"Oh, I know that. I'm just saying there's no need for you two to talk, meet, hang out, whatever, outside your divorce case. But don't think I'm asking you to decide right now. You'll need a bit of time for that. When you have made your decision, though, come talk to me. Anyhow, I've had a long day, and so have you. Goodnight," Bill said, walking away.

Stan sighed as he walked outside onto his balcony. He couldn't believe it. His boyfriend of two and a half weeks was asking him to make a decision like that?! He could understand where Bill was coming from, but this was a monumental decision. Stan couldn't understand why this decision was so hard for him. It's not like Kyle's been in his life for the past 10 years in any manner. After a few moments of thought, Stan walked back into the condo and went to bed.

The Next Morning, Stan's Condo, 7 AM.

Stan woke up to the sound of his alarm ringing. It was 7 AM. He sighed, vowing to catch up on sleep over the weekend. He turned to his sleep to see that Bill had already gotten up to do his work over on the top floor's office space. There was no doubt that Bill was a hard worker, and would be a great asset to any NFL team. With that, he got up and showered.

On his way down to the parking garage, Stan remembered that Bill was awaiting the decision. For now, he thought the best thing would be to go over to Kyle and tell him that he was wrong.

Law Firm, 9 AM.

Stan walked into the law firm and asked the receptionist if he could see Kyle. Lucky for him, Kyle was available. Stan walked into the office to see that Kyle was on the phone talking about some obscure business formation matter.

"But if you format your business as an LLC, you'll be able to use the advantages of both a partnership AND a corporation…" Kyle droned on.

Stan couldn't help but admire Kyle's assertiveness and intelligence. That was one thing he wished he had that Kyle did: book smarts. Now, Stan was no dumb jock in high school, but he was no bookworm, either.

Stan awaited Kyle to end the conversation, and thankfully, he finally hung up.

"Well, this is a nice surprise, Stan! I don't think we have an appointment scheduled today…" Kyle said smiling at him before he went to check his planner to make sure he didn't forget to schedule something with Stan.

"No, I don't have an appointment with you today. I just came by to tell you that you came to the wrong conclusions with your research. I also came here to tell you that Bill doesn't want us to have anything to do with each other besides work on the divorce case. You know, just keep our relationship professional," Stan said, looking up at Kyle who got up off his leather office chair and walked around the table until he stood behind Stan. Stan was starting to feel goosebumps behind his neck as he felt Kyle's warm breath.

Kyle whispered into Stan's ear, "Do you want that, Stan?" He then planted a soft but amorous kiss on Stan's cheek. Before Stan could process what Kyle just said and did, he was spun around and brought to his feet. He was standing face-to-face, eye-to-eye, with Kyle. Kyle softly pushed Stan toward his desk, and Stan ended up leaning on it. Kyle quickly closed the distance between them. He observed Stan's face, then neck, and then chest. He could tell that Stan was nervous and his heart was beating really fast with the way his chest was going in and out with short breaths. He placed two fingers to feel his heartbeat. Yup, his heart was beating off the roof. He slowly traced his fingers down his torso until they reached just above the waist, then traced them back up until they were at his neck, brushing his soft skin and collarbone, until they rested on his lips.

"You know, Stan, you're stunningly handsome. Dammit, so gorgeous. And now your boyfriend apparently wants you to make a decision, huh?" Kyle then gently kissed Stan on the lips. Stan's eyes were closed, and as hard as he tried to suppress himself, he could not help but let out a soft moan.

"In that case, Stan, you should decide soon!"

Kyle walked back to his desk and sat down. Stan got off the desk and adjusted his shirt a bit. Before Stan could process anything that just went down, Kyle's paralegal popped her head in to tell Kyle that his client was there as she went back to her cubicle. Stan felt that was his cue to leave. Kyle gave Stan a mischievous grin as he got up to help his old pal to the door. "You just know I will be awaiting your decision. By the way, you may want to button those three shirt buttons. Your chest hairs are starting to show!" Kyle says chuckling as he patted Stan's ass a couple times. Stan gasped a little and looked down at his shirt. How in the hell did THAT happen?!

To be continued…

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