...and hits the floor hard in the room below.
Someone stirs, then resumes SNORING.
Auto lowers through the portal.
A CLOCK ALARM BUZZER activates.
Auto:
"Captain. You are needed on the bridge"
Shoots back up.
The portal closes.
Wall-E peeks out of his box.
PAN across the nautical-themed cabin.
One wall lined with PORTRAITS OF FORMER CAPTAINS.
Their years of service listed below.
The autopilot in the background of each picture.
Each generation of Captain more devolved than the other.
From human to gelatinous blob.
We stop on the FINAL PORTRAIT.
A blobby Captain.
It looms above the actual CAPTAIN, snoring in bed.
He reaches out in his sleep to quiet the snooze alarm.
Smacks Wall-E's box by mistake.
Activates the POYSC SAMPLE.
It plays loud.
The Captain sits straight up, half-awake:
Captain:
"All hands on deck!"
Wall-E is frantic to turn off the music as...
...PREP ROBOTS burst from the cabinetry...
...a BEAUTICIAN-BOT, MASSAGE-BOT and WARDROBE-BOT...
...The Captain's bed automatically raises...
...Forms into a hover chair...
The robots rapidly massage, brush, primp and dress him.
It Was... PR-T Actually With Them.
PR-T:
"Morning! Just a trim?"
Wall-E blends in with the primping.
Uselessly wiggles the Captain's toes.
Lines light on the floor.
Lead his chair automatically to the elevator.
Wall-E sneaks aboard just as the doors close.
Elevator doors swish open.
The Captain still half-asleep.
Claps his hands twice.
On cue, a COFFEE MAKER rises from the console.
Pours a cup. CLASSICAL MUSIC PLAYS on overhead speakers.
The Captain's chair links with a LIT FLOOR PATH.
Leads him over to the coffee.
Wall-E stays lockstep behind him.
Auto glides over to the Captain.
Auto:
"Sir"
Captain:
"Coffee"
Wall-E hides under the console just in time.
The Captain reaches for his coffee.
Makes a minimal effort.
Easier to adjust his chairback slowly forward...
...almost there...and...he grabs the coffee.
Auto:
"Sir, the annual"
The Captain gives Auto the hand.
Sips his coffee.
Captain:
"Protocol, Auto. First things first." (to the room) "Computer, status report."
His chair automatically arcs along the console.
SPECIFIC PANELS light up as he passes.
Captain:
(sips coffee)
"Mechanical systems?...Reactor core temperature?...Passenger count?...Regenerative food unchanged... buffet?...Jacuzzi Ph balance... Atmospheric conditions...laundry service volume..."
Ship's Computer:
"Unchanged...unchanged... Unchanged...unchanged... Unchanged...unchanged... Unchanged...unchanged..."
Meanwhile,
On WALL-E
He eyes Eve on the transport across the room.
Has to get to her.
But Auto is right above him.
Can't move.
Auto:
"Captain..."
Auto calls up a screen on the console.
Displays the recon-ship and a flashing positive probe.
Waits patiently for the Captain to notice.
Finally, the Captain turns...
Captain:
"Okay, Auto"
Auto:
"Sir, the annual reconnaissance has"
but then notices the time.
Captain:
"12:00!"
He slingshots his chair to the Lido Deck side of the bridge.
Wall-E nearly collides with him.
Ducks back under the console.
Captain:
"Honestly, it's the one thing I get to do on this ship."
Grabs a large dial.
TIME OF DAY ICONS surround it.
Cranks it from mid-day back to sunrise.
The FAKE NOON SUN reverses at high speed to a SUNRISE.
Passengers' LUNCH CUPS switch to BREAKFAST CUPS.
Poolside passengers' umbrella-bots close up.
An ANNOUNCEMENT WHISTLE BLOWS over the intercom.
A SECTION OF SKY DOME becomes a JUMBOTRON SCREEN.
Displays a live video feed of the Captain.
The image also shows up on every passenger's CHAIR SCREEN.
Captain:
"Well, good morning everybody, and welcome to day 255,642 aboard the Axiom. As always, weather's a balmy 72 degrees and sunny, and - Oh, hey, I see the ship's log is showing that today is our 700th anniversary of our five year cruise. Well, I'm sure our forefathers would be proud to know that 700 years later we'd be..." (deflates) "...doing the exact same thing...they were doing..."
Cut to VARIOUS ASPECTS OF AXIOM LIVING.
The listening passengers look just as bored as the Captain.
Captain:
(snaps out of ennui)
"SO! Be sure next mealtime to ask for your free..."
(hard to pronounce)
"...septuacentennial cupcake - in a cup. Also today we have, uh...uh...Hey, Auto, what's that flashing button?"
(mic feedback whine)
The Captain stares at a FLASHING BUTTON on the console.
It bears the same PLANT ICON as Eve's display.
Auto:
"Captain?"
The Captain turns to Auto.
For the first time he notices Eve.
Finally.
Auto hovers over her.
Salutes.
Auto:
"That Probe One has Returned Positive"
Captain:
"Positive?"
Auto re-activates Eve.
She wakes.
Rises to salute the Captain.
Across the room, Wall-E watches with sheer joy.
She's okay! He is compelled to head straight for her...
Captain:
"But...no probe's ever come back positive..."
(looks at flashing button)
"...before."
The flashing button is practically calling to him.
Can't resist.
Presses it.
Instantly SHADES close on all the windows.
The room goes dark.
...Wall-E is forced to hide under the console again...
A LARGE HOLO-SCREEN appears right above him.
Pre-recorded footage of the BNL CEO plays:
BNL CEO:
"Greetings and congratulations, Captain! If you're seeing this, that means your Extraterrestrial Vegetation Evaluator, or..."
(air quotes)
" ..."EVE" probe, has returned from Earth with a confirmed specimen of ongoing photosynthesis!"
The Captain stares slack-jawed at the screen.
Wall-E sneaks under the console towards Eve...
BNL CEO:
"That's right, it means it's time to go back home!"
Captain:
"Home? W-w-we're going back?"
BNL CEO:
"Now that Earth has been restored to a life-sustaining status, by golly, we can begin "Operation Recolonize"!"
A section of the console illuminates.
An ancient, dusty MANUAL slides out...
...into a passing Wall-E's hands.
Wall-E immediately boxes up.
Holds the manual over his head.
The Captain mistakes Wall-E for a book podium.
Grabs the manual.
Blows dust off the cover.
It reads: "OPERATION RECOLONIZE".
Below the title, the same PLANT ICON from Eve's display.
BNL CEO:
"Now, due to the effects of micro-gravity, you and your passengers may have suffered some slight bone loss. But I'm sure a few laps around your ship's jogging track will get you back in shape in no time."
The Captain looks at his VESTIGIAL LEGS.
Captain:
"We have a jogging track?"
BNL CEO:
"If you have any further questions just consult your operation manual. See you back home real soon."
The transmission ends.
The Captain examines the manual.
Holds it out in front of him.
Captain:
(reads; to himself)
"Operate... Manuel..."
(aloud; cautious)
"Manuel, relay instructions. Manuel?"
Auto intervenes.
Clips the corner of the cover with his handle...
...and simply opens the book.
The Captain is both fascinated and intimidated.
Lifts the cover with his own fingers.