Author's Note: I'm still on vacation which means I haven't been online much lately and I swear to god I miss everything whenever I turn off my laptop. I spent yesterday sitting out by the pool and when I finally checked Tumblr some major shit was happening in my other fandoms. It's like vacations are supposed to be relaxing but I wind up just stressing over everything I'm missing online hahaha

Review Reviews:

kendramccormick: Not *soon* but I'm sure they'll get married eventually. Oops, sorry I forgot to clearify that. PTSD is Post Traumatic Stress Disorder which tends to happen after something traumatic happens (such as being shot, for Anya). PDA stands for Public Display of Affection which is like kissing and getting all touchy in public :)

BlueBanshee: I'm sure any kid of Tony Stark could get the coolest apartment! As for the other kids, I'm not sure yet lol Aside from Dahlia's story-arch I don't know about the other kids.

Guest87: We shall see :)

InsandKids159: Hehe, thanks!

KristenGall1998: I thought about giving them their own level in the tower but I feel like they need out of that tower. They've lived there all their lives- only leaving for a few weeks if that here and there- and it would sort of defeat the purpose of moving out if Clint can just take an elevator down to their level and pop in on them haha

kimbee: Thanks! Hahaha you know I didn't realize that was a pun until I was proof-reading before posting and I just laughed my ass off :p

blackangel150: He is, after all, a teenage boy ;) lol

discordchick: I haven't decided how the family will react (though part of me thinks they'll see it coming) but that'll come up soon enough. I haven't addressed whether or not they've gone that far, it's pretty much up to you. If you want them to have done it, then they have (as I believe) but if you don't want them to, then they haven't lol

Morgan: Haha he doesn't care about anything other than his girl looking good ;)

SpectrumLight: :)

Lollypops101: Thanks! Maybe, I haven't decided yet...

CullensAngel: Thanks! Anya can pull of virtually anything with style- she is Natasha's daughter after all. I haven't decided hoGhw the family will react but I'm already working on an apartment-hunting chapter with the kids and their parents which should be fun ;) When I first saw the Avengers Hawkeye stood out cause Jeremy Renner. And then I went and started reading his comics and fell absolutely head-over-heels in love with him. He's my favorite, shhhh don't tell the rest of the team ;)

GhostGlowLight: Thanks :) I will!

Author's Note: I've been drinking all night so don't kill me if there's a lot of typos in this chapter lol

Enjoy!

The case seemed so open-and-shut when Anya and Ryland were assigned to it. A celebrity actor was found shot to death in her New York highrise and the media was itching for answers. Originally the NYPD took on the case but given the status of the victim the FBI took it from them and a few days later somehow Fury got the task and assigned Anya and Ryland. Since Anya was fresh off disability the director figured a 'who-done-it' type mission would be the best way to ease her back into the job. She was dragging her heals but getting the job done anyway.

"We appreciate your cooperation on this." Ryland said to the NYPD detective as they went over all the evidence the he already compiled before the case was taken from him. "It's gotta suck getting taken off a case."

"You have no idea." the detective grumbled as he pulled a manila folder out of a box and handed it to Anya. "But if you guys are as good as rumor has it, at least the case is going to people who will solve it."

"We're gonna try our hardest." Anya promised, taking the folder and perusing. Jenna Marksman was a twenty-six-years-old from Albuquerque who won some contest that landed her a walk-on role in a popular TV series. The producers saw talent and signed her up as a recurring guest character for the next four seasons. Eventually she landed the lead role in a much beloved television series about space cowboys which made her a household name. Before she was killed she was listed as one of People Magazine's most influential celebrities. She did charity work, she did celebrity auctions, she visited sick kids, and she always made time for fans. Everyone loved her.

Except a cast mate. Jason Chandler, twenty-nine from New York City, had been acting almost since birth. He started out doing those baby modeling adds and slowly but surely grew up in the spotlight. For the longest time he was the type of actor one would see and wonder "I know him from somewhere..." then forget a minute later. It wasn't until he landed a costarring role in Jenna's space cowboy show that anyone ever remembered his name. She gave him life in Hollywood outside of "that guy" and in any other town he'd be grateful. But of course he wasn't.

He had issues, major issues that had street names. The list of drugs he was known for taking was spun out and there were even more drugs he took that no one knew about. That alone made him sketchy to Anya but given the fact that he was seen arguing with Jenna just hours before her death and that he owned a Glock 45. just like the caliber used on Jenna, made Jason their number one suspect.

"We weren't able to get to him," the NYPD detective explained as they went over the evidence stacked against the suspect. "He flew back to L.A the morning after her death and we don't have the resources or jurisdiction to follow him there. We were unable to get a warrant either so he's not even taking our calls."

"Oh but he's back in the city." Ryland said over the edge of his phone. "According to the fansites, he's been in New York since this morning- he's staying at the Waldorf."

Anya tried so very hard not to laugh but couldn't help chuckle a little when she said, "You're on the fansites?" and Ryland's face whitened.

"It's a clever show," Ryland snapped, shoving his phone in his pocket and gathering his stuff. "and if you gave it a shot you'd love it too."

"Doubt it," Anya retorted with a look as she too gathered her things. They thanked the detective for his cooperation and promised to keep him informed as they moved forward on the case. "We'll mention ya during tomorrows press conference." Anya added with a wink as she headed out of the precinct behind Ryland.

The whole elevator ride down to the garage Ryland tried selling Anya on the television show that started it all but she just wasn't having it. She knew he was a fan, watched half an episode with him once and everything, but just couldn't stomach the show. She'd let Ryland have it- go do something else every week when it was on- but she wasn't going to watch it with him.

"There are no cows in space!" she protested as they loaded the boxes of evidence into the back of her car and closed the hatch. "How can they be space cowboys if there are now cows in space?"

"There might not be cows but there were horses in the one episode." Ryland retorted as they got in the car and slammed their doors. According to the fansites Jason was staying at the Waldorf so that's where Anya headed, all the while rolling her eyes at Ryland. "Besides, what's the line from that stupid Bon Jovi song you like? On a steal horse I ride. You don't have to wear a cowboy hat and stirrups to be a cowboy, Anya."

"We are so done talking about this I'm not even listening to you anymore." Anya said with a chuckle as she shook her head. Of course Ryland still talked about it a minute longer but she was just ignoring him. Finally when they arrived at Jason's hotel Ryland shut up about the TV show and they were able to walk in like professionals and ask for Jason's room number.

When the manager didn't let them up right away they flashed their credentials. But he still wasn't buying it. "Never heard of ya," he said with so much sass Anya wanted to leap across the ivory desk and slap him.

"Strategic homeland intervention and logistics division." Ryland said in a monotone. "You haven't heard of us cause you don't have the security clearance to even know we exist. So why don't you step aside and we won't get our superiors involved."

Five minuets and a phone call from Fury later, Anya and Ryland were in the elevator headed up to Jason Chandler's penthouse suit. "I hope he doesn't lose his job for that." Ryland mentioned about the manager as the doors opened on the penthouse level. One of Jason's bodyguards immediately greeted them at the door and they went through the whole 'strategic-homeland-just-let-us-in-it's-for-the-be st' conversation all over again only for the bodyguard to tell them Jason wasn't even at the hotel anymore.

"Well where is he then?" Anya asked but the bodyguard just shrugged. Apparently the star slipped his watch team and disappeared earlier in the day and no one heard from him since. So Ryland quickly got on his phone to check Jason's credit card transactions and the GPS on his car and cell phone. Within twenty minutes Ryland and Anya were outside a film study in the city where Jason and Jenna's TV show occasionally filmed. Ryland was having something of a fangirl moment, looking around at all the props from his beloved show, but things turned serious as soon as they burst through the doors and Jason drew his weapon. There were six other people in the study who all dropped to the ground when Ryland and Anya came through but Jason fled out a back exit. So while Ryland was busy with the other six people, Anya ran after Jason.

"Stop!" She yelled as she followed him through six different movie sets. He finally came to an exit and slammed into the door, jiggling the handle anxiously but it wouldn't push open it was locked. Just as Anya made it into the same room Jason Chandler swung around to face her, gun aimed right at her.

And suddenly she was back in that warehouse with Meg beside her in her flak vest and a 50. caliber gun pointed at her. She no longer saw Jason Chandler she just saw the man who shot her. She saw his face, the sweat on his skin and the panic in his eyes and mirrored them in herself. Her hands started to shake so badly she couldn't even draw her gun, just let his hang in her hands, still pointed at the ground. She couldn't move, she couldn't think, she couldn't do a damn thing. She froze.

"Drop it now!" Ryland yelled as he rushed into the room with his gun aimed at Jason. It took just three seconds for Jason to drop the gun and hit the floor, his hands behind his head. "Same caliber as the bullet that killed Jenna Marksman." Ryland pointed out as he examined the gun Jason was just pointing at Anya but she wasn't listening- couldn't listen. She tried so hard to steady her hand as she re-holstered her gun but could barely get the damn thing in it's leather case without dropping it.

XXX

She never mentioned it to anyone and Ryland never said anything about what happened. They brought Jason into S.H.I.E.L.D. for interrogation and closed the case by the end of the day all the while Anya barely said a word to her partner. She pulled back, was resigned and quiet for almost a week afterward but Ryland still didn't say anything. He stepped back as well, giving her the space she needed to cope. But the problem was, she wasn't coping. She wasn't dealing with it, she was just shoving it down deep inside her in hopes that it would just go away on it's own.

But it wasn't going away. It would never go away unless she faced it. But she refused to deal with it so Ryland went to the only person he knew could help.

"She's spiraling," he admitted to Clint one night as they sat in the kitchen of Clint and Natasha's level. "she can't keep her focus for more than a few minutes at a time and loud noises make her jumpy."

"I noticed that too." Clint replied quietly. He'd been watching his oldest daughter closely ever since the accident and he didn't like what he saw. Just yesterday when they were out at the park with Robby a car honked and she hit the ground, hiding behind a different parked car completely out of instinct. She looked so scared in that moment that Clint wanted to wrap her up in his arms but he knew she had to face this herself, no one could push her to it.

"What do we do?" Ryland asked. He was desperate. He wanted his best friend, partner and girlfriend back. She was scared and lost and so cold now, he just wanted his bubbly, slightly-irritating, loving best friend back by his side.

Clint heaved a sigh, running a hand down his face. "She at HQ now?" he asked and Ryland nodded. So Clint stood up, grabbed his coat and headed out without another word. Ryland trusted Clint to help but he still felt pretty useless sitting around the tower so he went to the gym to deal with the PTSD by punching the hell out of a dummy.

XXX

Anya finished up at the gym and headed to the locker room to change quickly. She didn't bother cleaning up much more than to switch out of leggings and a sports bra into jeans and a sweater. She threw her gym shoes in her bag and slipped into her boots before running her fingers through her hair and heading out of the locker room. Clint texted while she was in the gym so she grabbed her phone and check the message, surprised to see he was at HQ and wanted her to meet him in the armory. She turned to throw her gym bag in her locker, heading in the opposite direction towards the armory.

It was rare for Clint to ever visit Next Gen. He taught an archery/marksmanship class every now and then at the range but he came, taught then left every time. Hanging out reminded him that his Little Bird was in the line of fire he tried so hard to keep her out of. He was okay with her choices, but didn't need to be reminded of them. So he stayed away. However, for reasons unknown to Anya, he decided to pay her a visit.

"Dad?" she called out as she entered the large storage area, looking around for her father amongst the array of different gun rack. Clint called back to her so she followed the sound to one of the back areas but stopped when she saw what he'd done. There was a steel table in the middle of the room and Clint had over a dozen guns laid out against the silver steel. "What are these?" she asked as she stopped before the table, apprehensive of just about everything.

"They're guns, just guns." Clint replied evenly. She looked up to him then back at the table three times before he continued. "This one is a nine millimeter." Clint held up the handgun and examined the evidence tag attached. "It was used in a homicide two years ago. This one," Clint picked up a different gun then, examining that tag as well. "is a forty-five mill that was used in a suicide a year ago tomorrow."

"What are you doin'?" Anya asked as she started to get emotional listening to him talk about the weapons laid out on the table. She took a step backwards but bumped into a shelving unit which only served to make her feel trapped.

"They're just tools," Clint explained easily. "they're no different from a carpenter's hammer or a teachers pen. They're just items we use. What we use them for is what sets them apart. This gun here," Clint picked up the largest gun on the table, a snipers riffle. "was used just last week by a S.H.I.E.L.D. agent. Yes, it took a life last week, but it saved a little girl from death when it took the life of a bad guy."

"What are you tryin' to do?" Anya could barely get the words out, choking on them and trying so hard not to cry like she wanted to. But Clint remained calm and even as he continued to explain.

"I'm showing you that these props aren't to be feared." Clint replied then reached under the table and pulled out a 50. handgun. Anya backed up faster than before, knocking a few things off the shelf in the processes.

"You are way out of line." she spat, trying to escape but with nowhere to go. Finally a stray tear slipped down her cheek followed by a few more.

"It's just a gun," Clint told her seriously, holding the very weapon that put a bullet in her shoulder. "it's just a hunk of steel. You grew up knowing about these- first fired one when you were ten. You know how to use them, take them apart, put them back together again, clean them, and how to be safe around them. You're not scared of the gun, Anya, you're scared of the man behind it. It's just an object, it's the man behind it that makes it a weapon."

Anya choked back a sob as Clint dropped the gun down to the table with a loud clatter. She flinched so hard she almost fell over, holding herself up by a hand on the shelf beside her. Neither of them said a word for a long minute as they both just stared at the table full of guns.

"You can tell yourself you're fine," Clint said after a beat of silence. "you can tell Ryland you're fine, you can tell me and everyone else you're fine. But you're not. You're not fine; you're broken. You're damaged, Ace, and that's okay. We all are."

Anya's chin quivered as she mumbled, "I gotta be okay. Lives depend on me being okay."

"So be okay." Clint took a step towards her and this time she didn't flinch away. "Deal with it so you can be okay with it. You're broken, so use it. Use it to your advantage."

"How?" Anya choked out, a few more tears streaming down her cheeks as her hands started to shake again. "How am I supposed to utilize my inability to shoot at someone?"

Clint didn't say anything as he reached over to the table and picked up a gun. She didn't move an inch as he held out the 50. caliber to her but finally after a long staring competition, she took it in her shaky right hand. "Just shoot it." he said quietly. "Just shoot it at something. Remind yourself that it's only a tool. You've got this."

Anya could barely hold the gun up, her hands were shaking so badly but Clint took a few steps backwards, giving her space. It took her a long time, just staring at the hunk of metal and remembering every second of what happened. Then she looked up at Clint and he smiled. There it was. Right there in her eyes, the same resolve she always had but forgotten about.

She ran a hand down her face, wiping away the tears before grabbing a box of bullets from the shelf and walking away without a word to her father. The range was right next door so she used the fingerprint scanner to get in but didn't bother signing the log. She just marched right over to the closest station, loaded the gun and aimed. She had to take a second to calm her breathing and push every other thing out of her mind but then she fired. Just once, that's all she needed. Then she depressed the button beside her that brought her paper target back to show where her bullet passed through. The next breath she drew in made her smile a little as she studied the whole smack-dab in the middle of the paper man's head.

Author's Note: *cough cough* Firefly *cough cough* ...I couldn't pass up the opportunity to pay homage to our lord Joss by modeling our dead actress's show off his greatest work ;) lol and though I can't imagine anyone not liking Firefly, I can see Anya hating a TV show about space cowboys and Ryland LOVING it!

As always, you can check out my Polyvore (samitballi. polyvore. com) for a set from this chapter titled PTSD :)

Thanks!