It was September 13th, Bella's birthday. Somehow this date had been the source of my gloom. I felt that something was going to happen today, something that wasn't very good.
I was very…unsettled today. Yesterday took a lot out of me for some reason, but overall I was glad to feel some reason for happiness, even if the happy event had a dark cloud of gloom over it.
Alice had phoned ahead and told me to bring Bella to the house around noon. Everyone was very excited, except for me. Something was going to go wrong today, but what?
I pondered this, but I couldn't think of anything bad that might happen. Alice didn't plan any flashing lights that might blind her. Everyone had taken extra precautions (especially Jasper) by hunting more than usual to stop any little accidents.
I sighed. I was probably overreacting, like I always did. It was Bella's birthday! She needed a little break from the hospital. For five years the only setting she had was the hospital.
Mrs. Vorbeck was a bit hesitant when I asked her if I was allowed to borrow Bella for a day. I could tell she still didn't entirely trust me with her, but in the end she was swayed. I've never met anyone so stubborn before, well, except for Bella, when she was sane.
We slowly walked to my silver Volvo; Bella's legs were very wobbly from misuse. Finally I just picked her up and carried her to the car. I felt Bella trembling in my arms. She looked paler than usual too. I wonder if she really did understand everything I told her.
"It's going to be okay, Bella." I whispered, bending over to inhale her lovely scent. Her lips curled slightly on the edges, as if she was attempting to smile, but her eyes still looked worried.
We drove in silence. I drove slower than usual because I didn't want to startle Bella. I had a really bad feeling about today, and it was getting me anxious. I slowly turned to Bella in the back seat; she was shaking. I placed a reassuring hand on her lap. Her fearful eyes grew wider as she looked at my face.
Then we were there. The Cullen house looked very quiet and almost eerie today, even though behind those doors were a bunch of very hyper vampires. Again, I felt that same burst of foreboding.
I slowly led Bella out of the car; her face was now one of terror. I deeply regretted submitting her through this torture.
Then we approached the door. I hesitated when I turned the doorknob, analyzing Bella's expression. Then slowly inch by inch, I opened the door then…
"SURPRISE!" It was the defying canopy of noise that I was dreading. My eyes quickly snapped to Bella's face; her expression was one of confusion and complete horror.
The lights came back on, and there stood all of the Cullens. They were all grinning very widely. I looked back at Bella, she didn't seem very well. This was a bad idea.
Alice was at the door. "Edward, Bella! Come on in!"
Then I took a deep breath, and entered through the door. But just as I took that step, I felt Bella's hand go limp in my hands. I heard the shrieks of shock that came from everyone, and then I saw Bella falling.
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I felt terrible, horrible. I couldn't believe that I was so careless. I should've known that it was too much for Bella to handle. I should've!
And I did. I've been having bad feelings about today for a long time, why didn't I listen to my instincts? Was it because I simply believed that nothing could possibly happen or was it because I wished that nothing would happen?
Bella was still unresponsive. She reminded me of the first time I saw, except this time her eyes were closed. My fear was exponentially increasing every second Bella wasn't awakening.
I have ignored the signs, now I will have to face the consequences. If Bella loses all progress when she wakes up, then it will be completely my fault. I accepted the blame, even though I hoped that that wouldn't happen. I hoped with all of my heart that my Bella wasn't lost again. I hoped that she wouldn't take 1 step forward and 2 steps back. I hoped, but I didn't know for sure.
Each second was agony. Each minute was even more agonizing. The hours passed by too slowly, and each tick of the clock seemed to be slowing.
Bella still didn't wake up. I waited by her side anxiously, my eyes glancing at the clock every few seconds. I knew that soon Mrs. Vorbeck would come and kick me out, and she would see Bella unconscious. Then I will never be able to visit Bella again.
I glanced at the clock again, not good.
Ten minutes left until visiting hours are over, and Bella wasn't showing any sign of waking up. My nerves were getting the better of me, and then a thought occurred to me.
I have never tried to kiss Bella yet. I have always thought that a kiss would damage her, but what if it does the opposite? I was running out of time, and now I was running out of options.
I looked at Bella's still face. In a spilt second my mind was made up. Immediately I felt that desire that I always had when I was around Bella.
I gently bent down toward Bella's face; her lips were getting closer and closer. Her scent was swirling around me, and then I made contact.
I was kissing with a stone statue, then suddenly she was kissing me back. Our mouths pressed against each other. I felt that shiver of wanting I always had when I kissed her. Suddenly her lips were more urgent. She kissed me back with a force that I didn't know she was capable of, and we broke apart.
I didn't want to break apart, and I was about to lean in again when I caught her expression. It was a mixture of guilt, shame, happiness, love, and horror. I didn't understand it at all. Her eyes looked at me with shame, and then she looked out the window, the tears slid down her cheeks.
Her expression confused me. I reached my arm toward her face and gently wiped the tears off. Her tearful eyes looked at my hand, then she looked out the window again, the tears streaming out faster than ever.
Just then the door opened and in stepped Mrs. Vorbeck.
"You know the drill, Mr. Cullen." She nodded sternly and gestured toward the door. I kissed Bella on the hair, then walked out of the room.
The memory of our first kiss in five years was still in my mind, but the kiss was too urgent and too forceful. It was like Bella was kissing me goodbye.
Immediately I shook that idea out of my head. It was ridiculous. Bella isn't going to die; she was fine.
Bella is fine…Bella is fine…Bella is fine… I repeated in my head.
Then I felt that same chill of dread; that same shiver of terror, as I walked down the hall.