My apologizes to everyone who has been enjoying my stories so far. My procrastination has always been a issue when it comes to my writing, but when it comes down to it I really do enjoy it. Every day I come up with more stories. Too bad I don't focus long enough to write them down. But enough of my excuses, please enjoy. I don't own Hetalia or any rights pertaining to it.

A Meeting of the Sexes

If you were to walk past the conference room where the nations would stay, you'd expect various everyday scenarios. Fighting, name calling, various arguments, retarded suggestions, a loud terrifying German man yelling, a brief moment of silence, than a lunch break. After that the cycle would repeat until it was time to leave. This was the same for every conference room in the world, whether it be in Spain, Austria, Russia, the UK, or Sweden. They say Canada is one of the only places where countries are calm and quite but no one has ever heard of this mysterious land or if it even exists. That is unless you have a somewhat decent understanding on what words are and can look up and down on a map. Than you can see that it in fact does exist and is the second largest country in the world. But today is anything but normal.

In a conference room in Belarus contains the inhuman psychotic fury of several female nations, along with a few unfortunate others who were not quick enough to get away. The women were still seated in their design chairs, angry and hormonal staring daggers at the remaining men on the ground. Everything was silent, nobody said a word. Finally a little girl in green Swiss uniform stood up to address the rest in the room.

"Alright now let's get this shit going."

Her once quite and polite attitude replaced with a overly aggressive one.

" I want to talk about what the hell just happened a few minutes ago. Does anybody have any ideas?"

At once the room was filled with noise. The other women started screaming about what happened and who they thought was to blame. The men just laid there on the ground, too afraid to move. Even the loud and obnoxious Alfred had no words to say because even he knew that if any of the guys said a word that would offend them, nobody would be safe from their wrath. Like the old saying goes "hell haft no fury like a woman's scorn" and he was not about to test that theory. As the room grew louder and louder nobodies voice could be heard, all of it was just combined together into a giant ball of gibberish.

BANG BANG BANG BANG

Four gunshots filled the air, silencing the others and making the room quite once again. All eyes were focused on the now absolutely angry Lichtenstein holding an M16

"SHUT THE FUCK UP" she shrieked

"ONE AT A FUCKING TIME OR ELSE"

Looking around the room the rest of the nations stood utterly shocked on what the little normally peaceful and respectful girl just said. The men on the ground looked from Lilly to her brother Vash on the ground and giving him the "what the fuck was that all about?" look. The Swiss man just stared at them confused as if to say "I have no idea." Lilly looked around at the other girl before pointing the gun at Elizaveta.

"You, you're not as stupid as the other people here. Care to tell us on what you think?"

The small girls voice was calm again but still had the hint of venom to it.

The Hungarian woman stood up to address the rest of the crowd. She looked upset, like someone just told her she was fat but at the same time it seemed like she was in a lot of pain. Before she could say a word her hands grabbed her stomach in agony, groaning as she used her chair to help her stand. Roderich, who was hiding up against the far corners of the wall jumped up to help his ex-wife.

"Elizaveta!"

Not hearing the other men quietly shouting for him to stay down or noticing the angry glares of the other ladies, Roderich quickly ran across the room to help.

"Elizaveta are you ok!? Do you want me to get you some medicine?"

Instead of kind "yes please" the Austrian man was answered with a furious glare. Her face practically screamed "Get the fuck back or I will rip your dick off and staple it to your forehead."

"No, I fucking peachy keen. Never felt better in my entire life. Nope, nothing wrong here. Only the fucking pain of being stabbed in the gut with a rusty knife over and over again. But hey, it's not like I need any help or anything. Nope not at all."

If there was any more sarcasm in her voice it would be the same as talking to Lovino. Now Roderich was unsure of what to do at this point. He knew he should help because although they were no longer married, he still loved her but at the same time he didn't want to make things more worse than they already are.

Finally after much thought he started to notice something similar in the way his wife was acting. The angry attitude, the holding of the stomach, the "get the fuck away from me" stare, and the look of serious pain all pointed to one thing. It made sense to why all the girls were acting strange. Now the problem was considering whether to tell everyone this. You don't just ask some woman that question and expect not to get seriously hurt. But something told him it would be much easier to tell them instead of keeping it to himself, no matter how personal or rude it may sound the chances it was what he thought it was would give everyone a step in the right direction and possibly help his ex-wife feel better.

Swallowing his pride and nerve he stood tall, trying to look brave.

"Hu-Hu-Hungary..." he whimpered

Ok so it wasn't as easy as he hoped but what can anyone expect in this situation. At least it grabbed her attention. The Hungarian stared with the same annoyed look whenever she saw Gilbert. Her hand slowly reaching for her frying pan leaning up against her chair.

"What" she snarled

As he tried to gather the courage to speak, he looked toward the other men. Their scared expression still the same. He felt better knowing that at least he was brave enough to do what must be done. Even if it was going to hurt like hell.

"I-I d-d-don't want to be rude b-but... Alfred wants to know if you're on your period."

Now there is a time and place to say certain things to people. Asking a woman if she's on her period is not good at any, regardless. Elizaveta sat their speechless, her mouth hanging slightly open as she tried to process what her former husband told her. All around the room the others stared in shock. Suddenly everyone's focused on the normally loud and obnoxious American.

"WHAT THE FUCKING HELL!" Alfred screamed

Roderich saw the younger nation start to panic under everyone's gaze. He knew it was unfair to blame the annoying country but it was the most believable. After all nobody, not even Gilbert, would ask a lady that and Alfred was so young and inconsiderate sometimes that it seemed plausible for him to say such things. He didn't feel too bad for him of course, it's what he gets for being so obnoxious. Honestly so long as it wasn't him he didn't care.

"Why ya annoying little bastard. Somebody ought to teach you some manners."

This time it was Ireland who spoke up.

"And maybe get the limey prick who raised him in the first place."

Now everyone knew Aine was a ok person. She would help you out so long as it wasn't Arthur or Alfred. She even agreed to become one with Ivan if he could beat her in a drinking contest. It was the closest match anyone has ever seen. Germany had never seen someone drink so much beer before in his life, including all the times he went drinking with his brother. It had finally came down to who can drink the most whisky without falling over or passing out. That was the end for Ivan. The Irish had an old saying that said "God created whisky to stop the Irish from ruling the world" and that day Aine proved that statement true. However that isn't to say she was all smiles all the time. She can be very quick to anger and can take on almost anyone if she drinks enough. Also she's been known to hold a grudge for a long time.

"I say we hold em up by their britches a beat them like a cheap drum."

Pulling out her sheleighly she seemed more than willing to hurt the two men. Especially since it was her "brothers." The long wooden club looked strong enough to break the table if swung hard enough.

"Iggy!"

Alfred looked toward his past guardian hoping the Brit would find a way out of this. Too bad Arthur wasn't much for subtlety.

"You rotten twat! How dare you bring me into this. I haven't done anything to you...recently. Go after America if your angry at him."

Arthur glared at his sister hoping to gain some ground by intimidation. However, he forgot that he was British and therefore couldn't be taken seriously. The man hadn't invoked fear into a country since when he was an empire and because he was such a douche back then nobody really liked him. Francis and Kiku enjoy being in Arthur's company for some reason but other than them he was pretty much alone. The worst Arthur could ever do is threaten someone with his cooking.

"And you!" he pointed at Alfred

"Talking such things about a lady is disturbing and uncalled for. I did not raise you to behave this way."

"Oh whatever Britain." Everyone seemed to think.

But now things were starting to take a turn for the worse. Arthurs words only seemed to make Aine angrier and she slowly started to walk toward the two, her sheleighly swinging at her side ready to bash their heads in. Maybe calling his sister a twat wasn't the smartest idea Arthurs made but at least he can feel better taking Alfred down with him, even if it was his fault. Alfred didn't seem to happy about the whole situation though.

"Damn it Arthur!"

The Irish woman was slowly closing in on them. The other ladies were sitting back waiting for the carnage to happen while snacking on some chocolate that Bella made. Alfred tried hard to keep his cool but the thought of getting smacked with that giant club made it almost impossible to do so.

The tension in the room was so insane that you could cut a knife with it, the pressure Alfred was feeling started to drive him insane. It felt like he was going to wet himself, maybe even worse than that.

Suddenly a large grumbling noise started emanating from the American. His stomach twisting and turning in pain before the pressure started to quickly travel south. His asshole felt like it was going to explode from all the buildup, an entire day of Big Macs and French fries was about to come back out. In this moment of agony an idea came. It wasn't much but it was his only shot in getting out off this in one piece.

Turning around with his back against the ladies and Arthur, Alfred lifted up his leg and let loose everything.

WOOOOOOMP

A noise echoed in the room as the massive fart spread across to the female side. The smell of greasy food and raw sewage slowly started to engulf the area. Arthur, who was in front of the blast had his eyes rolled to the back of his head, standing only for a few seconds before falling on the ground passed out.

"RUN AWAY"

Alfred bolted across the room to the exit, the other men running behind him with their noses covered to block out the smell. Sounds of gagging and throwing up started as the ladies breathed in the noxious gas. Men that were unable to ignore the stink started to pass out like Arthur. Thankfully most of the men were able to escape and make it to their cars. For one time only, everybody silently admitted they were happy to be saved by the hero.