Co Written By the lovely Spiritblaze
Disclaimer: We Own Nothing
For the first time in a long while, Patroclus awoke feeling fully rested. Above all, he felt safe, and he knew it was only because Achilles had held him last night. In fact, Achilles was still holding him, much to his surprise. When was the last time he'd needed Achilles' company like this? When was the last time Achilles had held him like this, in order to chase away nightmares and other such fears that kept him from sleeping soundly? He couldn't remember, but he honestly didn't care either. He knew he was too old to be comforted like this, but at the moment, he felt every bit like the helpless lion cub he was too often compared to.
And so without another thought, he nuzzled against Achilles' chest very much like an awakening cub while still clinging to him tightly and sighing contentedly. He was in the Lion's arms; nothing could hurt him now!
Achilles, on his part, chuckled softly and kissed the top of Patroclus' head. "Did you sleep well, cub?"
Patroclus nodded with a sleepy smile. "MmmHmm... thanks to you."
Achilles felt his heart melt as he answered, "It's the least I could do."
"I hope you didn't mind," Patroclus said in a small voice, but Achilles himself looked as if he far from "minded;" in fact, it appeared as though he didn't intend to let Patroclus go for the rest of the day.
"Cub," he suddenly whispered, placing another kiss to the boy's forehead, "I know your nightmare is probably the last topic you wish to discuss this morning, but you said something while you were half-asleep that caused me great concern."
Patroclus noticeably tensed. "What was that?"
"You cried out, 'please don't kill me' while I was trying to wake you up. Why was that?"
Patroclus just shook his head frantically. "I-it's nothing, Achilles. I don't want to talk about it!"
"It most certainly is not "nothing," Patroclus," Achilles bit out, frustrated. "Your life was being threatened, and I have a creeping feeling that whoever made the mistake of doing so was not Trojan."
"Please, Achilles!" his cousin begged. "I'll explain later, but right now, it's too early."
Sensing the boy's clear distress, Achilles just sighed and murmured, "All right. It's all right, Patroclus. You don't need to tell me yet, but we're by no means not finished with this discussion." He tightened his hold on the the boy and whispered, "Just rest for now, cub. I'll watch over you."
They stayed like that for a long while, neither wanting to move.
After a while, however, Patroclus reluctantly slid from Achilles' arms and stood up, yawning and stretching. "Did you sleep well, Achilles?"
Achilles smiled sadly. "No, cub. I still feel a lot of pain, and I'm feeling terribly ill due to lack of sleep, so I'm just going to rest today. You should visit Antilochus today while I rest," he suggested gently. "I'm sure he would love to see you again."
"No!" Patroclus protested, shaking his head. "I want to stay with you. I'll take care of you!"
Achilles' heart twisted in pain at the utterly frantic look on his cousin's face. "Oh, cub, I need to rest. I won't go anywhere, I promise. You needn't worry about me; I can certainly still take care of myself! Besides," he added, with a hint of bitterness in his voice, "he can spar with you, unlike me at the moment."
"I know... " Patroclus murmured. He certainly missed sparring with Achilles, and the thought that they may never be able to do so again broke his heart. "I hope you feel better soon. Antilochus is no fun to spar with, especially because I can beat him more than half the time."
"Well, excuse me?" a mock-offended voice sounded in the doorway, and the two warriors turned to see their mutual friend, Antilochus. He stepped forward and wrapped Patroclus in a one-armed embrace, then turned to Achilles.
"Achilles," he greeted in a cold but polite voice, "I hope you are well?"
Achilles silently nodded, feeling stung by this man's chilly greeting. Antilochus had always been such a good and loyal friend to both cousins, but although the young Myrmidon was ten years older than Patroclus and therefore closer in age to Achilles, he had always bonded more with Patroclus in terms of friendship and almost always tended to side with him whenever conflict would occur between the two cousins. When Achilles' "punishment" had resulted in Patroclus becoming badly traumatized, Antilochus vowed that he would never forgive Achilles.
Achilles silently nodded, feeling stung by this man's chilly greeting. Antilochus had always been such a good and loyal friend to both cousins, but although the young Myrmidon was ten years older than Patroclus and therefore closer in age to Achilles, he had always bonded more with Patroclus in terms of friendship and almost always tended to side with him whenever conflict would occur between the two cousins. When Achilles' "punishment" had resulted in Patroclus becoming badly traumatized, Antilochus vowed that he would never forgive Achilles.
"Come on, kid, let's get you some fresh air," he said with a smile, protective arm still wrapped around him.
"Look after him," Achilles said softly, eyes resting on Patroclus as he smiled reassuringly at his charge.
Antilochus' dark hazel eyes blazed. "Of course I'll look after him! We can't have anything happen to Greece's youngest soldier now, can we?"
His pointed emphasis on the word "youngest" caused Patroclus to wince and Achilles to gasp aloud and place his head in his hands. The younger warrior put a restraining, pleading hand on Antilochus' arm and said, "Please, let's just go. Achilles needs his rest."
With one last dark look at Achilles, the Myrmidons left Achilles to rest.
"Ugh, how can you forgive that man?" Antilochus spat out. "How can you even stand to be in the same room as he?"
"I owe him so much," Patroclus said in a quiet voice. "Of course I forgive him - he's all I have left. He's everything to me... father, brother, mentor, cousin."
"I understand," Antilochus said, "but he was the one who got his war skirt in a twist when it came to you not fighting and protecting your innocence. And then he turns around and makes you fight anyways. Seems a bit hypocritical to me, as well as tragically ironic."
"He wasn't in his right mind at the time," Patroclus pointed out. "He's doing all he can to make up for it now, though; you have no idea just how much he's suffered in these past two weeks, especially from the guilt."
"You weren't in your right mind, either! You were clearly traumatized and just acting out because of it. His Warlordship should've realized that."
"All the same," Patroclus said softly, "he can't forgive himself. He cried more last night than I've ever seen him cry in his life."
"He deserves to feel guilty," Antilochus growled, unsympathetically.
Patroclus was starting to grow impatient. "However much you disagree with him, he's still your leader and you owe him respect!"
Antilochus sighed and put his hand on the boy's shoulder. "I will always be loyal to and acknowledge your cousin as my leader, Patroclus, but as far as respect goes, he lost all respect I had for him when he ordered you to accompany him to Troy."
Patroclus shook his head frantically. "You don't always have to agree with or respect his decisions, Antilochus, but can you at least try to forgive him - for me?" He couldn't help the tears that suddenly pooled in his eyes.
Antilochus shook his head and said with a dry smile, "You're too compassionate, kid. But I'll certainly try to forgive the Golden Boy, for your sake and not his."
The rest of their outing passed pleasantly, and when Patroclus arrived home, he felt both content and peaceful.
When he entered his home and found Achilles, the golden warrior was sharpening his sword, a cloak wrapped tightly around him as he shivered. Patroclus' heart twisted with pity as he cleared his throat to get his guardian's attention. As soon as Achilles glanced up and laid eyes on Patroclus, he leapt to his feet and rushed forward to embrace the boy. The abrupt movement caused Patroclus to flinch away from Achilles, however. He just couldn't help himself; any abrupt movement caused him to flinch, much against his will.
He caught himself and his heart shattered anew as he saw the hurt expression on Achilles' face. It was obvious the man had been crying all day, and he appeared so disheveled and ill - more so than he had ever appeared him.
"I won't hurt you, cub," Achilles whispered to him, arms dropping to his sides. "I would never hurt you."
But you did, a voice in his head reminded him painfully.
Achilles reached his hand out gently, as if he were trying to soothe a frightened and cornered animal. "Come here, Patroclus. I won't hurt you - not ever again. I'll die first."
This seemed to snap the boy out of his frozen state, and he immediately leapt into Achilles' arms, clinging to him for dear life.
"I'm so sorry, Achilles," he whispered. "I know you won't hurt me, but after what happened in Troy, I just can't help it."
"Oh, cub," Achilles murmured sadly. "Did somebody hurt you in Troy? Does this have anything to do with your dream last night?"
Patroclus nodded wordlessly into his guardian's shoulder. Achilles sat down with his arms still wrapped tightly around the boy. He wasn't going to let him go any time soon.