Songs:

Shouldn't Come Back - Demi Lovato

Goodbye With Smile - Hong Dae Kwang

Maybe Tomorrow - Ryewook

I'm Not Yours - Standing Egg

Brown Gold Eyes - Clazziquai Project

Stay Away - Standing Egg

CHAPTER 6

"Whoa! What happened here?" Alfred stepped past the cluttered floor full of scattered clothes, empty food containers, and he grimaced when he spotted used condoms on the floor. "Mm. That's wonderful." He said sarcastically with a wrinkled nose as he took a big swerve at the around the dirtied sheets on the floor.

"Arthur? You alive bro?" He shouted into the filthy and disgusting London town house. Just a week before, he had went with Arthur to check out the place because they had considered purchasing the place. When they visited, it was a classy and beautiful place. Now ... not so much.

Climbing up the stairs proved to be difficult. He nearly tripped on an empty bottle of whiskey. He grimaced and set it aside to prevent further disasters. When he finally reached the top of the stairs, he was extremely relieved. He felt as if had just climber Mount Everest. He ventured down the hall, and paused at the master bedroom. He sucked in a deep breath of courage and turned the handle.

On the bare mattress, laid a sorry degenerate version of his older brother. The room was very dim and musky. Alfred stepped over to the curtains and opened them with a flourish, allowing the glaring sun to flood the room. There was an unintelligible muter from the half-alive British man. He groaned, and shielded his precious eyes with his hands. "What in bloody hell do you want?" He asked without opening his eyes.

"This is a sight. To think that the proper gentleman who's usually organized and neat is living in a pig sty ... tsk tsk what would people say?" Alfred mocked.

"Shut up." Arthur rolled over to reach for a clock on his nightstand. He groaned once more when he saw he time and date. "They're going to kill me."

"Yeah man. They're already plotting your death. Do you know how freaked out your bosses where when you disappear without a trace? They were so worried that they sent me, your responsible and concerned younger brother to check up on you." Alfred chuckled. "Looks like you got hammered."

"You talk too much." Arthur had a terrible migraine, and his happy go lucky brother who chattered away certainly wasn't helping. He slowly sat up, leaning heavily against the head board.

"Dude. It smells like something freaking died in here. Take a shower and go to work." Alfred covered his nose with his shirt. He tossed a plastic bag onto Arthurs mattress. "Here. There's some painkillers and water in there. Take it and then get yourself together. We're leaving for lunch in thirty minutes. Hop to it." Alfred started for the door.

"Since when did you become so bossy?" Arthur asked.

"Since I realized I had a good for nothing brother who couldn't even take care of himself." He teased and then hurried downstairs.

Arthur flopped back onto the bed. He was just a little jealous of Alfred. Without him noticing, his younger brother had turned even more successful and achieved. He was handsome, strong, and easily got along with others.

How pitiful I am. Arthur mused with biter amusement. Arthur needed to prove that he was still the cooler brother. He slowly got out of bed and trudged to the bathroom, popping a painkiller along the way.

"So where did you go?" Alfred asked and then chewed on a fry. His blue eyes were curious as they peered at an exhausted looking Arthur through his glasses.

"Hong Kong. I had a business meeting there." Arthur answered before taking a bite of his sandwich. Alfred raised an eyebrow and smiled.

"Is that it? Did anything happen when you were there? Besides, why didn't you show up at work the next day after arriving back in England?" Alfred asked.

"Well I got back and decided I was tired of work. I took a break and relaxed for a couple of days. No need for everyone to panic." Arthur answered.

Alfred whistled. "So you needed to cheer yourself up huh? What, did you get rejected?" Alfred joked laughing. Suddenly, a heavy gloom surrounded the British man. "Ah, was I right?" Alfred laughed.

"The main reason why I went to Hong Kong was to ... visit someone." Arthur said vaguely.

"Someone? Who?" Alfred asked, leaning over. A feeling of suspicion crossed over him.

"You're awfully nosy aren't you?" Arthur brushed the question aside.

"Tell me. I want to know."

Arthur gave a heavy heave as if it suddenly difficult to breathe. "Yao Wang."

"Oh, is it that guy we say at Ivan's and Natalia's engagement party?" Alfred lied and put on a disinterested air, even though his ear pricked at the familiar name. The last time he saw Yao was after they swam all day and Ivan came to pick up Yao. Alfred wondered what kind of relationship Yao and Ivan had.

Ivan had been almost downright hostile to him, even though he Alfred couldn't think of anything he could've done to offend Ivan.

"Yes, it is."

There was an awkward pause between the brothers. Despite the chattering all around them, the air felt so stale. Arthur reached for his cup of tea, and began to drink from it. The liquid going down his throat, the chewing of Alfred's mouth was the only sounds to be heard in their minds.

Finally Alfred said aloud the question that had been burning in his mind ever since he saw that scene with Arthur and Yao.

"Do you love him?" Alfred asked softly.

Arthur almost choked on his tea. He coughed and set down the mug. When he had finally composed himself, he dug deeply into his pockets and pulled out a couple of wrinkled bills. "Here's money to pay for my sandwich and tea. I'll see you around." Arthur stood up from his chair, the legs making a screeching noise against the floor.

He shoved his hands into his empty pockets. Arthur's tall lanky figure, was wearing a very grunge appearing outfit. Yet it somehow appeared quite stylish on his frame. He wore glasses now, not his contacts, and seeing Arthur like this reminded Alfred of Arthur's punk days. Back then, Arthur wasn't a tightly laced up English gentleman. If anything, he was the opposite.

Rebellious and carefree, he was the epitome of punk rock.

Then one day, Arthur had just started to become the uptight boring guy in preppy sweaters, wearing shiny watches on his wrists. It was as if Arthur decided to finally become responsible.

So what was this? Was Arthur actually regressing and relapsing?

What caused this?

Alfred sighed. He got up and paid the check before leaving too. He shoes hit the streets with a heavy feeling, his hands were in his pockets. He walked mindlessly along the street. He didn't have anywhere to go, or any plans. The only reason he was in London was to see his brother, and now that was over with.

He sat down on an empty bench, stretching his arms out. It was peaceful, and only a few people milled about. He inhaled and exhaled as he lifted his face to they sky, the blue sky reflecting off his glasses.

Yao Wang huh? He sure is something. Alfred thought to himself. Images flashed through his mind of meeting the beautiful Oriental beauty. What exactly happened between Yao and Arthur?

From the very beginning, Alfred was enraptured by Yao. The time they spent together was brief and blissful. They spent time together instead of going around socializing with others, discussing business and politics. They would amuse themselves by swimming in the pool, reading in the library, or eating on the terrace. They talked to each other a lot, but no matter how many hours they talked, it never seemed enough.

After hours of speaking to one and another, at the end, they realized they still didn't know anything about each other. They spoke about fun, meaningless things and topics.

It was always like that during that trip to Ivan's and Natalia's engagement party. Arthur would be busy with business matters, so Alfred would always go and hang out with Yao. Alfred wondered why Yao was there. He didn't seem like a delegate or a dignitary at all. Perhaps ... Yao is someone's lover?

Alfred remembered that night when Mr. Braginski personally came to retrieve Yao himself. Despite Mr. Braginski's immensely cold politeness, his eyes burned with fury towards the American. Could the reason why Mr. Braginski be so hostile towards him be because of ...

Extreme uneasiness and unhappiness sunk his heart like a heavy stone all the way to the bottom of his stomach.

I want to see him.

Alfred knew only one person who'd know where Yao was.

A piano note sustained in the quiet air, and there was the soft hum of an asleep computer in the background. The faint and muted city sounds could not pass through the insuperable, thick walls. Arthur's eyes had dark circles under it as he sat at his piano.

His phone buzzed and lit up, moving on the top of the piano. Arthur glanced up and grabbed it with his hand. He brought it his ear. "Hello?" He asked tiredly.

"Hey." Alfred said into the phone.

Arthur groaned. "What do you want now?" He asked.

"I need Yao's current address."

"Why?" Arthur asked.

There was a hesitant pause. "I need to ... return something to him personally. It's very important to Yao."

Arthur's older brother senses were tingling. He had a very high suspicion that it wasn't as simple as that. Arthur loved Yao, and didn't feel too excited to give Alfred the address. However, as an older brother he wanted to help his younger brother. Finally giving in to his soft side, he replied.

"All right. I'll text it you." Arthur said and then hung up.

He had to see Yao again! He was worried. What if the beauty was considering killing himself or something!? Arthur was in such a terrible condition, maybe Yao is the same! He had to go and console Yao!

He ran like a tornado, trying to speed pack for his flight in thirty minutes. He prepared his passport, plane tickets, and threw everything into his suitcase. He rushed out onto the sidewalk, his bag bumping into his side as he ran. He hailed a cab with precision and then got in.

"To the airport, as fast as possible." Alfred said to the driver with urgency. He glanced at his glowing phone with the address displayed on the screen clearly.

I'm coming. I have to see you after all.

Yao's head felt like it was stuffed with cotton when he groggily sat up. He looked around the empty, immaculate small apartment his brother Xiang bought for him. Yao didn't feel right about having Xiang pay for him, but they both worked out an agreement. Xiang said that Yao could pay him back whenever he had gotten a job and made money.

The weak sunlight streaming through his windows illuminated the dust motes dancing in the air. He threw the blanket off of himself, and got out of bed. He meticulously made his bed and fluffed his pillows. He walked over to straighten the clock on his bedside table.

He sighed because he was unsure of what to do next. He hadn't found a job yet. In fact, Yao wasn't even able to leave his apartment for the past week. A distant sound caught his attention. His ear pricked at the sound and his heart began to beat faster. He slowly crept towards the sound. He paused, eyeing a curtain rod he had forgotten to set up. His hand wrapped firmly around the rod as he walked closer to the sound.

His heart beat even faster, and his grip on the rod tightened. He hid his body behind the wall, as he peeked around to look at the living room. He saw a tall, dark shadow cast against the floor. There was a creak coming from the floorboards and heavy thuds from footsteps.

The footsteps came closer to where Yao stood. Yao squeezed his eyes shut and took a deep breath. His grip on the curtain rod was so tight that his fingers began to cramp. He rushed out into the open with the curtain rod raised high above his head, ready to bash the intruder's lights out.

"NO!" Yao screamed.

"Calm down, it's me!" A familiar voice said as the person grabbed Yao's wrist. Yao's eyes slowly open and his jaw was slack with disbelief. The curtain rod clattered noisily to the floor. Yao was utterly flabbergasted as he met sky blue eyes.

"H-how did you get in here?" Yao asked, his eyes as wide as saucers. Alfred grinned and waved the card key in his fingers.

"I asked the landlord about you. They said you'd been holed up in your room for days."

"So? They just decided to let you up?"

"I told them I was a very close friend."

"Are you?"

"Of course! I'm hurt you think this coldly of me."

"I heard that the security here was great. Apparently they were wrong if they allowed you up so easily." Yao grumbled.

Alfred laughed in response. "No, it's just that no one is able to say no to me."

"How did you even know where I lived?" Yao asked as he thew himself down onto his couch.

"I asked Arthur."

"How did he know?" Yao's eyebrows began to knit together.

"Xiang and Arthur are good friends. They still keep in touch, didn't you know that?" Alfred asked gently.

"No, I didn't know." Yao seemed even more upset at himself.

"Want to drink with me?" Alfred winked as he dangled a six pack of beer from his fingers.

"I shouldn't." Yao said.

"Come on!" Alfred said elbowing Yao.

"...All right." Yao finally agreed hesitantly.

"It's so difficult you know?" Yao began to mumble unintelligible words. His amber eyes hazed and unfocused. He leaned forward to Alfred, inspecting something of his shirt. His finger poked Alfred's chest. "You're shirt is so blue." He seemed completely enraptured with this fact. Alfred tried to pull the can of beer away from Yao and supported Yao's jello like body with his arm.

"I think that's enough for you tonight." Alfred advised. He had never expected that Yao would become drunk so quickly.

"No! You're the one who said we should drink in the first place! Now you wanna change your mind? You jerk!" He said incoherently.

"Yes, yes. I'm a jerk. Now it's time for bed." Alfred said patiently. He leaned forward and quickly caught a slumping Yao.

"Ughn..." Yao's head felt heavy and the can of beer rolled on the ground, the liquid spilling everywhere. "I'm sleepy." Yao mumbled as he curled into a ball, his eyes closing. Then, Yao fell asleep deeply. Yao began to breathe deeply, his dark eyelashes rested against his cheeks flooded with pink.

Alfred picked up Yao in his arms and brought him to the bedroom. He pulled back the covers and tucked him inside. Yao's eyebrows furrowed together in frustration and he pushed the blankets off. "Too hot."

Alfred couldn't breathe as Yao began to tear away at his clothes, revealing the pale skin underneath. Yao's parted, little lips and flushed cheeks were unbelievably enticing. Little breaths appeared from those lips as Yao's chest rose and fell. The dark hair fell away from his hair tie, and his silky strands cascaded against the canvas of the stark white bed sheets.

He swallowed deeply and fought his flaring, raging desire that grew with every impatient second.

"You're such a jerk. You promised me we'd drink together and now you give up first. Why do you do that? Just when I've decided I want to go along with your wishes, you give up half way!" Yao mumbled, tears of rage and shame pricking at the corners of his eyes. It appeared now that Yao was speaking of something different than the drinking matter.

"Yao...?" He asked. Alfred felt like he was venturing in uncharted territory. Before he realized it, two arms were thrown around his shoulders and soft plump lips were placed upon his. Alfred's eye widened like saucers. When Yao's hazy eyes opened, he realized in a thick daze that he had made a mistake. Since he was not completely sober yet, this fact hadn't set in very well yet and he had trouble dealing with his actions right now.

Confused, he pushed Alfred away. "Sorry..." He mumbled. Yao's eyebrows knit together and his cheeks puffed out. His face turned a sheen of green and he pressed his hand to his mouth. Abruptly, he sprung to his feet and clumsily but quickly ran to the bathroom.

A few seconds later, Alfred could hear retching sounds. Concerned he hurried to the bathroom to see Yao bent over vomiting into the porcelain throne. Alfred quickly hurried to his side and pulled his hair back. In order to be a source of support he rubbed Yao's back methodically in an effort to soothe finally stopped and flushed the toilet. He heaved deep breaths, lying there against the floor for a few moments.

"Do you need anything?" Alfred asked in concern. Yao said nothing in return and instead shakily stood up. He leaned heavily against the counter and rinsed his mouth with minty mouth wash over and over. He repeated this process at least ten he avidly brushed his teeth and rinsed his mouth thoroughly with water.

Alfred, feeling out of place, decided to step out of the bathroom to give Yao some privacy and space. He closed the bathroom door behind him and walked into Yao's kitchen. He poured a glass of water for Yao and grabbed a couple more beers for himself.

He set down the water and beers on the night stand. As he did this, the bathroom door squeaked open and Yao appeared. Alfred turned around and he saw an exhausted, weary Yao treading to the bed. Yao fell onto the bed, face down.

Alfred leaned over and reached for Yao. "Are you sure you don't need my help with anything?"

Yao turned over. "Go away. I don't need your help!" Yao exclaimed as he tried to keep the concerned American at bay

"Yao..." Alfred ignored the protests and sat next to a distressed Yao. The bed dipped under his weight. Alfred reached out and gently caressed Yao's cheek. "How can I possibly leave you alone? How can I not worry about you? It'd be nice if you could tell me how. I don't know how to quit you."

It was a strange feeling. Yao didn't know if he should laugh or cry.

"Tell me the truth. Why are you holed up in here? What's been bothering you?" Alfred gently probed.

Yao's facade was breaking down with every moment of Alfred's persistent yet compassionate questions. Worry filled Alfred's eyes, and the flash of hurt that appeared briefly in Alfred's face whenever Yao pushed him away plagued him with guilt.

Yao never meant to hurt Alfred. He ddn't mean to hurt anyone.

"I have to admit it was much harder than I thought it would be." His eyelashes started to tremble, like anxious butterfly wings. Restless and uneasy, a heavy ache in his chest.

"What was hard?" Alfred asked softly, concern flooding his eyes.

"The separation was hard. It was much more difficult. However, I had to sort things out. I c-couldn't let us keep waiting for a dream from the past. We had to move on. Our hearts had long moved on, but our minds kept the promise."

"You know, I think you're wrong. Perhaps you think that Arthur is only keeping his promise to you because he's a gentleman. That's not true. Man .. he's ... pretty rough right now. He still loves you."

"What, did he tell you that?" Guilt plagued Yao.

"He didn't have to."

"What should I do? B-but I think this is the best way to go. Since I love him, I don't want to hurt him with my indecisiveness. How can I even begin to think of loving someone else, and caring for someone else, when I don't even my life together? I can't." Yao said. "If I ever decide to be with someone else, I want to be able to give them my everything. He deserves more than my crass half -hearted feelings."

The familiar friend that was jealousy visited Arthur's heart once again. Oh, how it twisted unpleasantly. He wanted to shout from the rooftops how he felt, but it wasn't about him right now. So he tucked the feeling away for the time being and decided to wait patiently.

"Yao, I ... know that it's difficult now, but someday, I'm sure someone else will appear and love you completely. And someday you may love him back just as much. I hope you find someone you'll be able to devote yourself to." Alfred said.

Yes, it hurt so much. Even though Yao had repressed so many overflowing emotions, they all spilled uncontrollably. He sobbed like a child, tears and snot running down unceremoniously. The Yao that usually appeared as an apatheic doll, finally appeared as a vulnerable human. However, this liveliness only made him more appealing.

"I don't regret what I did, but I still miss him." Yao mumbled into Alfred's chest.

This is terrible. Didn't I say that I wouldn't cry anymore? So why am I...

Slowly, his porcelain shell was cracking, revealing the true scared and confused person underneath riddled with wounds. His arms wrapped around Alfred, his sobs muffled in Alfred's broad chest. Alfred's strong arms tightened around Yao.

At the moment, Alfred couldn't think of any words that could possibly soothe Yao's heartaches. So all he could do was patiently sit there, stroking the silky hair. He felt just how fragile the slender frame was in his arms.

Back then, it was easy to say that he was over Arthur, but that wasn't true. Time had passed, and yet he was still unhappy. His feelings had gotten somehow watered down, but when he saw Arthur was afraid. Deathly afraid that he'd get hurt again. That he'd be left behind again. That he'd be betrayed again.

However, he wasn't scared anymore.

At the same time, he was unable to let go of those pleasant memories. Somwhere along the way, Yao had gotten to involved in the past to see the present. Arthur would always have a place in Yao's heart, but it was different now.

They both loved each other, and they still do.

But their paths were diverging.

Things were changing.

That night, Yao was finally able to start walking forward from the past and face the present.

When Yao awoke, he found that his face was only a few centimeters from Alfred's. "Agh!' Yao exclaimed and scooted away. He grimaced when he looked around. Empty beer cans rolled on the floor. He'd have to clean that up later. Yao blushed furiously when he noticed that Alfred wore nothing but a pair of boxers. He looked down and realized that his shirt was half undone. He was also wearing only boxers.

Alfred slowly stirred awake and sleepily rubbed his eyes. "Good morning Yao." He murmured happily.

When Yao found Alfred's pants on the ground, he threw them at Alfred. "When you've gotten dressed, I'd like it if you'd please leave." Yao said in a stern tone while the tips of his ear turned red.

"Come on! Let me stay with you for a while! I took two weeks off from work already, so I'm fine!" Alfred pleaded as he pulled his pants up. He clumsily got to his feet, trailing after Yao.

Yao ignored him as he picked up the empty beer cans and bottles of the grounds. He blew a piece of hair out of his eye as he walked to the kitchen. He retrieved a trash bag and stuffed them in there. "Yao please let me stay!" Alfred continued to ask like a overeager puppy trailing after it's master.

Yao sighed in frustration and thew his hands up. "Fine! On one condition, help me clean this up." He gestured to the messy apartment.

"Gladly!" Alfred perked up instantly.

"While you finish up picking up the trash, I'll go vacuum the floors." Yao said.

"So when you say clean up, are we going to actually like 'clean?' That sounds like a lot of work." Alfred said as he pretended to be out of breath as he picked of breath. Alfred pretended to heave and puff. Yao fought a smile because he tried to keep his serious attitude to get stuff done.

"Yes, we're actually cleaning. Vacuuming, mopping, dusting, the whole nine yards." Yao rolled his eyes and smiled again as Alfred gave out an exaggerated groan. "Oh, you'll be fine."

Yao breathed deeply as he rested on his couch. His apartment was clean and the laundry was busy rumbling in the dryer. His ams splayed out at his sides as his eyes closed. The sun was already setting, and the fading sunlight cast long shadows in his apartment. Alfred was out getting them dinner.

He was startled awake when he heard the door open. Yao wasn't aware that he had fallen asleep. The apartment was completely dark and in embarrassment he realized he had drooled. He wiped it away with the back of his hand. The lights were flipped on and bathed the rooms in a warm glow.

"Yao! Let's watch movies!" Alfred came barging in, with his hands full of grocery bags. He placed them on the table, and revealed a tall stack of movies. He dumped the contents of bags, revealing chips, cookies, snacks, and packs of soda. Frozen pints of ice cream rolled on the floor. "It's been such a long day, I think we deserve a break."

"Didn't I ask you to get dinner?" Yao asked with a raised eyebrow.

"I did." Alfred grinned and help up a large paper bag with the McDonald's symbol emblazoned across the front.

"That's so typical of you." Yao teased as he took the bag from him and took it to the living room area. "What kind of movies did you borrow?"

"A little bit of everything. You'll see." Alfred winked as he set up the DVD player. Yao put up the ice cream in the freezer so it wouldn't melt then he set out all the food in an organized way on the table. All the sodas were lined up on the floor by brand and the foods were sorted by type.

They setlled in the couches with their food. Yao modestly bit into his chicken nuggets while Alfred inhaled his hamburger in under five minutes. Then Alfred noisily and happily munched on the potato chips.

"Ah! You jerk, we just spent the whole day cleaning yet you're going to make another mess?" Yao scolded as Alfred accidentally got some potato chip crumbs on the couch. Alfred gave a sheepish smile.

"I'll clean it up Yao." Alfred said.

"Still, this makes me nervous." Yao got up and then placed a bowl in Alfred's hands. "Eat only from this bowl, and make sure nothing spills."

"Yes, yes, I understand." Alfred replied obediently.

As the hours of the night wore on, sometimes delighted peals of laughter would bounce of the walls, or sometimes there's be the faint sniffling signaling the beginning of tears, and occasionally there'd be the thrilled scream of terror. At the end, they had watched the all of the DVD's. They were both exhausted and filled to the brim from all the junk food.

At the end of their movie marathon, it was somewhere in the akward hours between late night and very early morning.

"Ughh I've never eaten so much in my life." Yao pressed his hands to his swollen stomach and laid on his back. He was so full and uncomfortable!

He turned on his side, and was met with bright blue eyes that stared right back at him. "Yao..." Alfred started, his eyes looked at Yao's parted lips with longing. "Are you feeling better?"

"Not really, my stomach feels like it's about to burst." Yao teased, laughing, trying to break this strangely fluffy atmosphere. He felt so uneasy and nervous.

Alfred smiled. "And your heart?"

"It's barely contained." Yao said with a pained smile. He didn't know how to feel anymore. Alfred suddenly pulled Yao to him, and rolled on top of him. Alfred's muscular body hovered over Yao's, his hands on both sides of Yao's head.

"Don't hold it back. Release everything out, all the weights that you keep stored inside." They were so close that their breaths mingled together.

"How's your heart now?"

"It feels like it'll overflow." Yao said breathlessly.

"That's fine. Then just let it overflow." Alfred whispered before kissing those soft, soft lips.

He could hear Alfred's comforting snores in the living room on the couch. Yao crept from the floor and into his bedroom.

He walked slowly to the box he tucked underneath the pillow next to his. Sitting on his knees, he slowly opened the small box. Inside, were the round pearls and broken string inside of it. He sighed, remembering the livid Russian's reaction, and how roughly he was treated. "Such a child." He whispered to himself aloud in the empty apartment.

Yao didn't want to mess up anymore. He didn't want to screw things up anymore, but how did he do that? His timing was always off, and he was always dishoenst to himself.

Sighing, Yao sat down at his desk. He got out a piece of blank white paper and a pen. He should at least give a response.

Dear Ivan,

I know that things between you and I have never gone smoothly.

Even though you are my kidnapper, you were also the young boy I picked up off the streets. As much as I'd like to cut off all ties with you, I find it impossible. To me, you're like family. I know that may sound funny, seeing as how we used to always ...

Anyways, I don't want to break anymore family ties. I intend to make this right.

So, even though I can never be the lover you wish for, let me be the caring older brother you never had. Just write to me, and if you feel up to it, maybe over time we can meet again on friendlier terms. I hope that time will be able to mend this wound.

I am sure that someday, we will be able to move on from all that has happened.

Sincerely,

Yao.

Yao folded the note, placed it in an evelope and sealed it shut.

Please arrive to him safely. Yao thought as he placed the letter into the box. I know it's old fashioned to send a letter, but I want to give him a reply. Besides, back then, Ivan sent me so many letters and I never answered even one.

I think it's time for Ivan and I both to move on.

"What is this trash?" Natalia asked in her heavy Russian accent as she stopped a passing footman. He had a silver tray, with a crisp letter on it. Her eyes narrowed at the name 'Yao Wang' scrawled messily in blue ink on the envelope.

"It's a letter to Master Braginski, Madam." The footman answered politely.

She snatched it from the tray. "Give it to me."

"B-but Madam, that's his letter." The footman ventured.

"How dare you speak out of your place. I am his fiance, soon we will be married. What matters does he have to hide from me? You are dismissed." Natalia ordered with a scowl. Holding the letter, she walked to her room, her silver locks flying behind her as she made haste.

Once she arrived at her door, she turned the knob and slipped inside, locking the door behind her. She sat at her desk, and took out a small metal knife. She opened the letter with the most upmost manners. She would appear as a polite young lady if it wasn't for the fact she was looking through someone's else's mail.

Looks can be so deceiving.

"This is so precious." Natalia grinned as she dangled the knife between her fingers. The more of the letter she read, the more amused she became.

With a cruel grin, she came up with an idea. She shredded the letter to pieces and fed it to the hungry flames in the fireplace.

She got out a brand new piece of paper, and with an blue ink pen, she got to work. Her venemous false blue words began to fill the page.

There was a knock at the door. "Miss Alfroskaya, you have a visitor." The butler declared at the door. She didn't pause with her writing.

"Who is it?" She asked.

"It's a lady by the name of Tanya." She looked up from her letter.

"Ah! Let her in." Natalia set down her pen and smoother out her hair.

A beautfiul young lady around Natalia's age had a bright, expectant smile on her face. She had dramatic eyes, long hair reaching to her waist, and was dressed in a pretty coat. In her hands was a paper bag. She handed it to Natalia with a wide smile.

"Tanya!" Natalia exclaimed. The two squealed and hugged each other. Once they pulled apart, Tanay handed Natalia the paper bag.

"A gift for you." She said. Natalia took it and took out the tissue paper wrapped object out. Carefully removing the tissue paper, inside was a silver tin box, with intricate designs on the lid. She untied the ribbon and took the lid off. A sweet smell emanated from the box, and small puffs of white sugar escaped into the air.

"Oh, you know me so well! Thank you!" Natalia said. They walked to Natalia's bed and flopped down on the soft bed like when they were little girls.

"So I heard about the engagement between you and Ivan!" Tanya said. With a mischevious grin, she elbowed Natalia in the side. "So how is it..." She paused to lean over in Natalia's ear. "the sex?" Tanya giggled as she pulled away.

"Well ... we only did it once, but I won't forget it." She fanned herself as if she was dying from an imaginary heat.

"Wait, why only once?"

The two girls sat on the bed, eating Turksish delight. Natalia licked the powdered sugar from her fingers. "Can you believe it? He won't even touch me! I had to blackmail him just to get him to marry me!"

"You blackmailed him?" She raised an eyebrow. "Knowing Ivan, he's probably very pissed off. "

"What else was I suppossed to do? Ivan's practically infatuated with that Chinese tranny."

Tanya giggled at Natalila's comment. "I'm sure there are other ways. Perhaps you should make him take your side instead."

Natalia's ears perked at that advice, and it struck inspiration within her.

"You know what they say. You catch more flies with sugar than vinegar." She accentuated her point by placing a Turkish delight between Natalia's lips. "Perhaps it's time to change tactics."

"That is a wonderful idea Tanya. As always, you're so clever."

"Thank you. If you don't mind me asking, why are you so set on Ivan? There's so many other fine men out there vying for your attention!" Tanya exclaimed.

"No... it can't be anyone else but him." Her eyelids closed and she was brought back to another time.

I think I can start over again this time.

Yao thought to himself as he gazed at a befuddled Alfred who sat in front the messily opened cardboard box, trying to set up the tv. Yao sighed and set down the knife he was using to cut the carrots. He walked over and leaned over to see Alfred's handiwork.

"Why don't you read the instruction's manual?" Yao asked as his wound over Alfred's shoulder. He dropped the white packet with tiny words printed in different languages on it in Alfred's lap.

"Real men don't need instruction's manual.

"So, could you please finish setting it up? Properly please. I don't want the bookshelf to fall apart once you've left." Yao teased.

"Hmm, I'm going to need some payment in return then." Alfred said.

"All right. How about I repay you with dinner?"

Alfred gave a wide grinning. "I want that, and a kiss." Yao's amber eyes widened in surprise.

"I-isn't that pushing it a bit?" An undeniable adorable pink flush spread through Yao's cheeks.

"You're so cute like this." Alfred teased as he lightly kissed Yao's cheek.

"It's so gloomy outside." Ivan said as he parted the curtains. The rain came down in a sheen, the dripping raindrops made a musical sound of it's own.

"It seems more depressing inside though." Natalia teased as she opened the door, carrying a silver tray. Ivan offered a half hearted smile in response, politely laughing along.

"I know that it was difficult for you to say goodbye to Yao." Natalia said as she squeezed Ivan's knee.

"No, it's only a temporary seperation." Ivan corrected moodily. Yao will notice how much he misses me. Don't they say that distance only makes the heart grow fonder? Yao has to come back to me. He must. Ivan thought to himself.

"Do you remember when we were children? You were always like this. Broodish and scary, always by yourself. Everyone else swarmed around me, begging for my attention, but you always sat by yourself."

Ivan chuckled darkly. "Well, it's not like anyone was eager to be friends with me. No one wanted to hang around the weird son of the all-mighty General Winters." He grimaced at the memory. He picked up the steaming cup of tea and peered into it longingly.

"Yao was the one who saved me that winter night. If it wasn't for him, I'd probably be dead. He was the only one who truly cared for me."

"I'm jealous of Yao." Natalia said.

Ivan raised an eyebrow. "It sure doesn't seem that way. You always call him 'cross dresser' and other insulting names." He said with a harsh tone.

She blew out a breath of air, her cheeks puffed out like a child. "Well I said it out of spite. Honestly, he's much more beautiful than me despite him being a man!" She exclaimed. Ivan laughed at the unexpected comment. For the first time in days, he had truly smiled.

"You're very beautiful too." Ivan continued to laugh.

Natalia's smile faltered. "Really?" Her blue large eyes watered with deliberation. "Then why won't you love me?" She leaned forward, her hands pressing against his thighs. He frowned and pushed her away.

"Beauty isn't everything."

"Why not? It was enough for everyone else. Every boy would always confess to me ... I waited and waited yet you'd never even glance at me!" She paused, seeming on the very verge of tears. "Ivan... I will give you anything you'd ever want. My heart, my money, power, even my body."

"No, give it to someone who will treasure you. I will hurt you, and I don't want that."

You hurting me? I highly doubt that will happen. Natalia scoffed in her head. Really, Ivan was too cute.

"I really am jealous of Yao. He's the one who will receive your gentle affections."

"I try to be gentle with him. However he continuously finds ways to infuriate me. Most of the time, I have to end up being cruel to him." Ivan smiled sorrowfully. "I wish I hadn't treated him so roughly." He sighed. "I guess people were right to be afraid of me." He continued.

"No, that's not true! I know that you're really not like that!" Natalia threw her arms around Ivan, hugging him. She pressed his face into her breasts. Ivan cleared his throat and pushed her away again.

"Natalia, you're a maiden. You're too careless with your body. You're a great woman, I'm sure there's many other men chasing after you."

I know that. But I don't want anyone but you. Natalia thought in her head.

"Why do you constantly reject my touches?" She purposely watered her eyes. "Did you hate that night so much? Is my touch that intolerable?"

Ivan sighed and pinched the bridge of his nose. "That's not what I mean. You deserve better than me. Besides, there's this troublesome person that stubbornly stays in my mind. Everytime I hold another, I see him. I only hear and feel him, it's really ... so troublesome."

"That's not exactly what a girl wants to hear." Natalia teased.

"Sorry. But the only reason I'm able to tell you all of this, is because I do ... have a soft spot for you Natalia." He leaned forward and affectionately ruffled Natalia's hair. He gave a rare smile. Natalia's heart felt uncomfortably warm and she felt like melting. "You're like a little sister to me." Those words were sharper than a knife. Natalia fought her heavy and depressing feelings.

"You still miss him." Natalia's eyelashes lowered.

"It doesn't matter. He doesn't even think about me, or care. This useless love will not go anywhere." Ivan said bitterly as he swirled the vodka around in his glass. He titled the entire glass back, drops of vodka slipping past the corner of his mouth. He then set the glass down and wiped his mouth with his sleeve.

"Let's go see him."

"What?" Ivan's eyebrows furrowed in confusion.

"Yao." She leaned over and held the bottle of vodka in her hands, and took a swig. "We can't just have you moping here alone, drinking." She dropped the bottle, and then licked her lips. "Let's end this childish crush of yours right now. I can't have my future husband lusting over another man."

I won't be able to play the sweet, patient girl until I have a couple of drinks first.