"You cant be here." was the first thing Meredith heard when she reached Dereks office. At first she was thinking that he was talking to her and she looked up at him confused. It was only then that she realised that he was on the phone.

Meredith moved to back out of the room until she heard him speak again. "look mark, maybe she just needs space." he said with a bit of a sigh. " i cant give you answers Mark, but while you've got the time, maybe you should start thinking about what actually went wrong."

It was then that he looked up, feeling her presence. He could see that she was exhausted and knew how rough her family could be. "I've got to go" she heard him say as he moved to hang up. She could hear Mark yelling down the line, briefly mentioning her name.

Derek looked at her apologetically as he moved from behind his desk towards her. "Sorry about that" he murmured as he took her in his arms.

Meredith had no response. She just fell flatly into his arms.

"Come on Mer" Derek sighed as he helped her into a chair. He then sat down in her seat. Meredith put her head in her hands as tears slowly began to spill onto her cheeks.

"Mer," Derek said as his hands ran in circles on her back.

"I dont think i can do this." she cried into her hands, her body tired, and her head full.

"Do what?" Derek asked.

"When they know why i left Der, when they know why i came back. They wont understand Der, they will hate me." she said through her sobs.

"Why Mer? Why did you leave?" he asked as he moved away from her to rest against his desk. "Did he cheat?" Derek asked, trying to get understanding.

"God no" Meredith said as she shook her head.

"Did you cheat" he asked her, completely scared of the answer.

"I'd never" she says as she looks up at him, shaking her head.

"Come on Mer. Theres got to be a good reason to leave behind the man you've been married to for the past 8 years." Derek said as he searched her eyes for the truth.

"I...i.... im pregnant" she finally chokes out as she looked up at him. "and he... and i cant... and i wont." she said as she tried to wipe away her tears.

"Your pregnant?" Derek asked, his eyes widening at the news.

Meredith nodded.

"but thats great Mer" Derek told her, "so why did you leave."

"he never wanted kids," meredith said sadly. "and we both know he is still a big kid. Christ Der, he bought himself a nintendo wii the night before i left. When he's not playing computer games Der he is either in surgery or wanting sex."

Derek winced at the thought.

"I wont be the one looking after two kids and i cant do this alone. So that is why i am here."she stated. "thats why i am home."

Derek sighed knowing that even though she was ere she still needed and wanted Mark.

"I can do this Der." She whimpered. "I can have this baby and survive this." she added as she pushed up off of her chair and grabbed a tissue.

On blowing her nose, and wiping her tears from her eyes she turned back to Derek.. "My contract?" she questioned quietly.

"We will hold off on the contract." Derek said cautiously. "You can trial it here, make sure that this is what you want."

"Der" she said pleadingly.

"No Mer, seriously think about what it is that you are doing here." he said as he put the papers away knowing that this was the right thing for him to do. Not only for himself but for his brother.

Meredith looked at him, not sure what to think. Reluctantly he moved, with as much strength as she could muster, turned her back on her brother in law and left behind what she had thought to have been a sure thing. Now all she felt she had was nothing. She was right back to where she had been 10 years before.