Author Note: The song is By Myself by Linkin Park (personally one of my favorites by them along with many others by them). The second song is All By Myself by Celine Dion. I OWN THE POETRY.

~CWA

Chapter 6:

Third Person:

Miki wasn't sure how long she stayed up in her room. She didn't want to go. She didn't want to leave. She wanted to stay in her room all day and just cry. Rosayla didn't accept her, does that mean that she didn't like her anymore? Tears welled up in her eyes yet again. Miki grabbed a tissue from the tissue box that Auntie sent up. Miki told her about the 'fight' with Rosayla- she had no reason to keep it secret. What would be the point? Besides, she was family and despite how extreme she may be, Miki knew she cared so she knew that she could trust her… Though look what my trust in Rosayla brought me.

Miki sniffled again and her breathing was so labored that she was starting to hiccup. Miki already texted her parents- she told them that there was a falling out with a new best friend. They repeatedly asked if everything was okay, if she wanted to come back to Japan, or if she wanted them to come here. Miki told them that everything was not okay because it hurt, but that she would (hopefully) live through it. After that, her phone wouldn't stop dinging from the messages they kept sending.

Miki just stared at my phone- Rosayla hadn't called or texted. Why would she? Then it occurred to Miki that one of the dings might have been from her. She got up and grabbed her phone- no such luck. All of the messages where from Daddy and Father. Figuring that she should go ahead and look at the messages and reply so they don't worry, she opened the messages.

Father sent a bunch of messages of love- saying things that Miki should just focus on studies and that she should empty my mind of 'that Rosayla.' Some of the messages were more touching- going as far as saying that he loved her and Dad loved her so much that if Rosayla couldn't accept her sexuality then she didn't deserve her thoughts. He even said some wise advice going on and on about how she wasn't worth the time of day. It stung a bit to read that because a nagging feeling wouldn't leave Miki- Rosayla was worth the time of day. She was her best friend. Was, she thought a bit bitterly, and it's all my fault. Why did I have to tell her?

She opened Dad's messages. First, it was things about how he loved her, soon however, it made her giggle. He kept repeatedly sending her things like 'virtual hugs' and pictures of cute little cats followed by the texts saying 'This kitty would hate to see you sad!' Leave it to Dad to lighten the mood. He even promised to send over some candy if she cheered up. Miki bet Father wasn't that happy that there was bribery.

Either way, she took her pills and felt a bit better. Better enough to at least write some poetry. Miki grabbed her notebook and bit at the end of the pencil in thought before the words came flowing out- flowed from her mind to her arm to the paper.

Is it really fair to be judged for something one cannot choose?
We cannot choose the color of our skin which we were born with.
We cannot choose the family we are born into.
We cannot choose our likes and dislikes,
We cannot choose our personality,
So must so many thing sexuality is a choice?

If sexuality is a choice,
Please let me choose a different one.
For if you think I choose this state of life,
Then you are wrong,
For who would choose,
To not be accepted.

After finishing that poem, Miki started to write another one- one about Rosayla. Because frankly, she missed her.

To sail across the sea of life,
To anchor oneself in this world,
You must choose someone you trust,
And you use them to anchor your boat in a steady safe place.
You must trust the anchor to hold steady,
And the anchor must trust you to not tie them loose.
The waves will bash around you,
Crash into you,
But you rely on your anchor
For they are your best friend.
Yet what happens when your trusted anchor gets tired?
When the anchor rusts?
Or when the anchor breaks?
Or when your tight loosens?
Or worse yet,
What happens when the anchor decides you are no longer worth to hold onto them?
My anchor left me,
To fend for myself in these rough seas,
And I fear that my ship will sink without her.

After writing that, Miki felt a bit more calm. The headache was almost gone, but her eyes were sure to still be puffy and red. Her face still felt a bit hot. Though she felt like a weight was lifted off her shoulders…At least it did feel like that until she realized that she still had to face Rosayla on Monday.

Miki plopped down on the bed with a soft 'plop'- she wasn't heavy enough to actually make more than a plop. Miki wondered what Monday might hold. If it meant that her anchor wouldn't be by her side, did she really want to go to school on Monday? She still had Kentin and Lysander, but with their romantic and maybe sexual attraction to her, that might not be the best idea.

Her heart seemed to stop yet again when she realized something.

That meant, come Monday, she would be alone.

No one could get through to her. The whole school day, Miki dodged everyone- mostly Rosayla- and didn't speak a single word. She couldn't face anyone, not her teachers, her peers, or the ones who called themselves her friends. She didn't trust Kentin or Lysander enough to speak to them about her issues- she knew that they were attracted to her, so it made her uncomfortable to speak with them about such subjects when they might misread her trust as an advance. Aside from Kentin and Lysander, she didn't really have anyone. She really was alone- especially without Rosayla. The whole school seemed black and white through her eyes, the colors slowly fading. The sounds were dull and faded aside from her music. Because of her music, she failed to hear all the whispers about her behind her back.

"What a freak."

"I wonder what's wrong."

"Isn't she usually with Rosayla or did something happen?"

Her earbuds stayed in her ears as she walked through the walls, the music acting like a crutch to get her calm. She feared that if she stopped listening to music, if she focused what was going on around her, that she might have an anxiety attack.

"~What do I do to ignore them behind me?
Do I follow my instincts blindly…
Do I trust some and get fooled by phoniness,
Or do I trust nobody and live in loneliness…
Because I can't hold on when I'm stretched so thin
I make the right moves but I'm lost within….~"

As Miki passed through the halls, Rosayla tried to call out to her, but her voice died in her throat when Miki just passed by. She couldn't do it. She looked down. She usually was so forward so to be bluntly ignored by a best friend stung. She normally wouldn't even hold back her anger and call the girl out, but she just couldn't get mad at Miki- the whole situation was Rosayla's fault and Rosayla was going to admit it for once because best friends don't blame best friends. Still, maybe it would be best to ask Lys-baby for advice.

With that idea in mind, she headed towards where she knew she could find Lysander during lunch.

"What are you doing here," Castiel snapped.

Rosayla ignored him and grabbed Lysander by the wrist,

"I need to borrow Lys-baby, Cassie. Be back in a sec!"

Lysander looked at Rosayla mildly confused as she dragged him away from prying ears. He quirked an eyebrow, not sure why Rosayla was in dire need of him. She put a hand on her hip,

"Alright, Lys-baby, you're all full of wisdom so what can I do to get Miki to talk to me? She's been ignoring everyone all day!"

"She has," Lysander asked stunned and then a small bubble of guilt found its way into him.

He didn't notice anything wrong. Sure, Miki didn't talk to him, but he chalked it up to her being shy. He was upset with himself that he wasn't paying enough attention to her- she was adorable, shy, sweet, and yet, he didn't realize that she was ignoring him and everyone else. He clenched his fists as Rosayla slapped him on the arm,

"You really didn't notice! Do you really have a crush on this girl? Really, Lys-baby, you should have noticed! I'm disappointed."

He paused to consider her words. He did like Miki, he realized that. Perhaps he should pay more attention to her?

"…You said she was ignoring you and everyone," Lysander asked, getting back on subject.

"Yeah and I think it's my fault," Rosayla sighed, "I said some pretty mean things, Lys-baby. I didn't mean to!"

Lysander looked over Rosayla carefully,

"What…exactly did you say?"

"She confined in me, Lys! She told me she was asexual and I told her that it was impossible to have a relationship with someone without it getting feeling! What if she doesn't like me anymore, Lys? Is our friendship over? I don't want to be over, Lys. Miki is my best friend!"

Lysander looked at her with wide eyes. Was it true, was Miki an asexual? Why did that matter so much to him? Perhaps it was because it was something not many people knew- it made him feel… sneaky, special.

"Perhaps you should talk to her, she might believe that you hate her," Lysander explained carefully, "Of course, I could speak with her if you'd like…"

"Oh no," Rosayla tsk'ed, "You just want an excuse to get closer to her and talk to her which normally I'd encourage but if she's hurting she needs her best friend which is me!"

That comment stung just a little bit, but Lysander brushed it off. As soon as she finished talking, Kentin ran up to them. He obviously ran a bit of a distance judging by the sweat on his brow, but he showed no signs of being out of breath.

"Rosayla, Lysander, do any of you know what's wrong with Miki? I keep trying to talk to her, but she's ignoring me."

Rosayla gave Lysander a sly grin as if to say 'he's paying attention so why aren't you?' Lysander ignored the jab in his gut. Kentin titled his head a bit in curiosity. He noticed that Miki was avoiding everyone, going an extra length to avoid Rosayla, so it would be reasonable to assume that Rosayla might know what's going on. Though it still hurt to know that Miki was avoiding him. He glared at Lysander, at least she's ignoring him too.

"No time to explain, gotta go," Rosayla called as she ran off to find Miki.

Miki didn't even touch her food. She sat in the back of the cafeteria, trying to conceal herself with her hair and a hoodie. She looked down, not bothering to look at anyone. She couldn't even hear any of the whispers over the music in her ears. The music was the only distraction she had from the world- especially now. She found herself missing everyone- she missed Rosayla, Lysander, and Kentin. She couldn't bring herself to face Rosayla. Lysander didn't even notice anything was wrong which seemed to break any small feelings she harbored in an instant. At least Kentin noticed. He tried to talk to her and he seemed upset that she didn't answer, but when she tried to speak, it wasn't working. She couldn't will herself to look at him and answer him.

"~All by myself
Don't wanna be
All by myself
Anymore~"

She sighed as she poked at her food again- she hadn't eaten anything in a few days aside from the occasional poptart that Auntie practically forced her to eat.

"Hey," Rosayla said as she slid beside Miki.

She frowned when Miki didn't respond. She took out Miki's earbuds. Miki looked at her shocked and surprised. Though whether it was because she was startled or because it was Rosayla was unsure.

"R-R-Ro-Rosayla," Miki stuttered, "W-Wh-what d-do y-you w-w-want?"

Rosayla waited patiently for Miki to finish since it took a while with all the quiet stuttering. Then, she spoke,

"Miki- what's wrong? Why are you ignoring me?"

"Y-y-you d-d-d-don't like m-me," Miki whimpered, her lip quivered.

Rosayla's eyes widened. Lysander was right- Miki thought Rosayla hated her because she didn't accept her sexuality and she made a blow at it. Rosayla hugged Miki tightly,

"Oh you precious little human being! I like you- you're still my best friend, I promise! I'm sorry it seemed like I didn't accept your sexuality- I may not understand it and it may not be for me, but that doesn't mean I don't accept you!"

Rosayla continued to hug the living daylights out of a flustered, but relived Miki. Because now she realized that her friendship with Rosayla was back- and stronger than ever.