(I don't own BlazBlue or anything else mentioned, only the story… thingy)

The BlazBlue Talk Show

Episode 7

*In the studio, 10 minutes before the show*

Bullet: *while drinking a soda* "I wonder what kind of questions we got today."

Tsubaki: *eating a cupcake* "Knowing the viewers it could be anything."

Rachel: *sipping tea* "We can be sure that Terumi will annoy us again."

Tao: *while eating* "Green Guy is very mean, moew!"

Bang: "Luckily, we have a torture room and Xdante puts in some extra punishment for him as well. He deserves all of that and more in the name of justice!"

Luna: "Where is Xdante?"

Lambda: "He's discussing something with Hakumen in his room."

Ada: "…"

Carl: "I don't know what they're talking about, sis. I am curious too, though."

*in my room, me and Hakumen are eating pop corn while looking at some security footage*

Xdante1: "How did he plant that C4 without appearing on any of the footage? I thought they cover everything."

Hakumen: "I have no idea, but you gotta admit it was a nice move."

Xdante1: "No question about it. I am curious how he got passed all the cameras, though."

Hakumen: "Maybe he can turn himself invisible or he used a cloaking device."

Xdante1: "Could be. Maybe it'll remain a mystery forever. Can't argue with the results, though."

Hakumen: "That's for sure."

*just then somebody knocked on the door and Tager came in*

Tager: "Everyone's ready Xdante."

Xdante1: "We're coming."

Tager: "Oh, by the way, Tao is stuffing herself at the buffet."

Hakumen: "AGAIN?!"

*in the studio: 2 minutes later Hakumen brought Tao back to the stage, I was already there at that time*

Xdante1: "Looks like everybody is here. Let's start!"

*Intro music, lights flashing.*

*After that's over…*

Xdante1: "Hello and welcome back! This is episode no. 7 of The BlazBlue Talk Show!"

Makoto: *waving a flag saying: Xdante1 rocks!* "WAAAAHOOOOO!"

Nu: *clapping wildly* "YAAAAAYYYY!"

Tao: *holding a sign that says: X-guy's awesome!* "HURRAY!"

Xdante1: (thought: this might be going a bit overboard. When did they make those anyway?) "Um… right… thanks. Before we start I'd like to tell all the viewers out there that Terumi is still with us but he can't walk since his legs are still wrapped in bandages."

Terumi: "You know who blew my car up, don't you?!"

Xdante1: *looking away from him* "I have no idea what you're talking about."

Kokonoe: "The video already got over a million likes on the Net."

Terumi: "It's on the internet?!"

Rachel: "Of course. It is really hilarious. Valkenhayn, Nago and Gii enjoyed it as well."

Terumi: "At least people at the NOL won't know about this."

Jin: "I wouldn't bet on it."

Terumi: "What did you do?!"

Tsubaki: "Let's just say we earned some extra money."

Xdante1: "I gave them a copy of the tape and let them show it to to the people at the NOL."

Terumi: "And I thought I was cruel!"

Xdante1: "I have my moments. Now, let's see our first questions for today. These are from SonicMaster95 and he also adds that you guys are all great people."

Ragna: "Even Terumi? Well, I guess everyone has different taste in things."

Terumi: "Admit it! You can't accept the fact that I have fans! HAHAHAHA!"

Ragna: "I don't like hurting injured people but if you keep this up I'll be more than happy to make an exception in your case!"

Terumi: "I always knew you care for me! HEHEHEHEHE!"

Xdante1: "QUIET!"

*they both stopped*

Xdante1: "Good. His first question is for Ragna and Noel. How did you two get together? He says that he is one of those people who support you two 100% and he's asking because there was a lot of tension between you guys when you first met each other. He also wishes for the best to the two of you."

Ragna: "Thanks. Yeah, it's true that there were uneasy feelings between us in the past, but thankfully, there aren't anymore. As for the get together part, it happened like this. A few months ago I was walking around Orient Town after I had lunch with Tao, when I noticed someone was calling out to me. I turned around and I saw Noel running towards me."

Noel: "I saw Ragna in the distance and since we haven't spoken to each other for quite a while, I decided to run up to him and asked him if he wanted to spend the day with me. I was very surprised when he said yes but it made me very happy. We went to an amusement park and spent the rest of the day there."

Ragna: "The day passed really fast and the park was about to close. I offered Noel to walk her home but she said that she was really tired and asked me if she could stay at my place for the night. I let her and after we arrived back home I told her to take a bath while I make dinner."

Noel: "When I was done Ragna told me to eat my share of the food while he would go and take a bath. I said I'll wait for him to finish and would eat with him. After that we watched TV for a while then decided to turn in."

Ragna: "I told Noel she could sleep in my bed and I'll sleep on the couch but she insisted that we both sleep in the bed. It took me a few minutes before agreeing with her. The next morning we both thought that yesterday was pretty good so we decided to spend that day together too."

Noel: "And that's exactly what we did. We went skating, had a walk in the park, had a nice lunch at a restaurant, then we saw a movie and went to the pier to enjoy the sunset. That's when Ragna told me that he had been in love with me for quite some time. I was surprised but very happy and told him that I had been in love with him for a long time as well. That was when we had our first kiss."

Ragna: "It didn't take long for Noel to move in with me. And we've been together ever since."

*everyone was crying except Terumi*

Xdante1: *crying, blowing nose* "That was one of the nicest stories I've ever heard."

Jin: *also crying* "Great story, brother."

Kokonoe: "I gotta admit, it was very nice. They should make a movie out of that."

Terumi: "And call it 'The Worst Movie Ever'! HEHEHEHE!"

Xdante1: "HAKUMEN!"

Hakumen: "My pleasure!"

*Terumi gets thrown into the torture room hard*

Hakumen: "Even I admit that was nice. He really deserved that one."

Bullet: "Totally agree." *turns to Ragna and Noel while still crying* "I'm happy for you guys."

Bang: *crying a river (literally)* "As a warrior of love I completely agree. It was such a nice tale."

Luna: "Luna admits that it's nice."

Rachel: "Even I agree that it was very romantic. I really enjoyed listening to it." *to Xdante1* "Please continue."

Xdante1: *back to regular self* "Okay, I'm fine now. Next question! It's for Terumi. Hakumen!"

Hakumen: "He'll be right there."

*Hakumen brings out an incredibly terrorized Terumi*

Noel: *to Terumi* "You deserve even worse!"

Ragna: *to Noel* "He'll get it one day."

Xdante1: *to Terumi* "Get a hold of yourself! You got a question."

Terumi: *looking slightly better* "Alright. Go ahead."

Xdante1: "Who do you love to troll more than anyone?"

Terumi: *grinning* "The vampire bitch!"

Rachel: "You fiend!"

Terumi: "Thanks! HAHAHAHAHA!"

Litchi: "I know I'm gonna regret this, but why?"

Terumi: "Sure, I like to mess with Rags and the Grimalkin too, but there is nothing better than screwing with her when she thinks she's so high and mighty! HEHEHEHE!"

Rachel: *irritated* "You want to be struck by lightning again?"

Terumi: "Since you can't even punch properly! HAHAHAHAHAHA!"

Xdante1: "STOP!"

*silence*

Xdante1: "Alright, thanks for the answer."

Terumi: "Anything for a good question! HAHAHAHA!"

Bullet: "I really wanna beat him up."

Kokonoe: "Me too."

Xdante1: "Maybe some other time. Next! Tager, why do you put up with Kokonoe when all she does is boss you around all the time?"

Kokonoe: *irritated* "No, I don't."

Everyone else: "Yes, you do."

Kokonoe: "You guys can be very annoying!"

Tager: "I don't really feel like she's bossing me around. Even if she does, I don't mind that much. She IS the one who created me. Not to mention she is very smart and holds an important position in Sector Seven. Sure, she gets angry and irritated easily but she does have to put with many problems all the time. And there's Terumi."

Terumi: "And I thought the vampire bitch is bad with her mindless slaves! Including Rags! HEHEHEHE!"

Ragna&Rachel&Kokonoe: "YOU TAKE THAT BACK!"

Terumi: "Not a chance! HAHAHAHA!"

Xdante1: "ENOUGH!"

*quiet*

Xdante1: "Thank you Tager."

Tager: "No problem." *to Kokonoe* "Just ignore Terumi. I think you're a good boss."

Kokonoe: *in a slightly better mood* "Thanks."

Xdante1: "Moving on! Rachel, how many times have you found a way to put the Spectacles of Eros on Ragna?"

Rachel: "Hm, good question. I honestly have no idea, since I observe many outcomes through many dimensions. Not all of them needed this to happen."

Nu: "Wow! Nu had no idea you do such important things."

Terumi: "You don't even have a brain to begin with! HAHAHAHAHA!"

Nu: "WHY YOU-"

Lambda: *to Xdante1* "I believe it's my turn now."

Xdante1: "Then let him have it."

Lambda: "Affirmative. HAKUMEN!"

Hakumen: "Terumi?"

Lambda: *smiling* "Positive."

*I nod and he throws Terumi in the torture room again, he didn't hurt his legs by the way*

Nu: "Thanks, sis."

Lambda: "Anytime."

Xdante1: "Next! Luna, why are you such a jerk and why do you keep calling Ragna a perv?"

Luna: "Luna's not a jerk! And Luna calls Ragna a perv because he is one!"

Ragna: "1. you are a jerk! And 2. why the hell do you think that?!"

Bang: "I'm sorry to say this Luna but you do act like one."

Ada: "…"

Carl: "Ada says she agrees with master Bang."

Luna: "'Cause the doll knows best, right!?"

Makoto: "Don't call her a doll!"

Xdante1: "Luna, you're acting like a jerk right now."

Luna: "Huh. Luna's sorry to everyone. It's just hard having 3 souls inside this tiny body of mine. I may not show it but it can be tiring."

Ragna: "Okay, we can understand that but why do you keep calling me a perv all the time?"

Luna: *innocently* "Honestly, I just think it's fun to tease you that way. You're actually fun to play with regarding this."

Ragna: *surprised* "Huh, never really thought about that. Try not to go overboard with it okay?"

Luna: *happily* "Luna will try. Promise."

Litchi: "That was actually nice in the end. I'm really proud of you, Luna."

Rachel: *smiling* "That was surprising. Seems you have begun to mature little girl."

Tao: *while handing Luna a meat bun* "For being nice, mew."

Luna: "Thanks."

Hakumen: *to Tao* "How did you get that?!"

Tao: "Tao took it while White Guy was in X-guy's room."

Xdante1: "And you said I'm sneaky. Anyway, let's continue. The next question is… for me?"

Makoto: "You get questions too?"

Xdante1: "Seems that way. Oh, before I forget, Hakumen!"

Hakumen: "He'll be there shortly."

*Hakumen brings back a shivering Terumi*

Xdante1: "So the question is: how much do I like throwing Terumi in the torture room?"

Kokonoe: "Judging by the time he spent in there I say a lot. I totally understand it."

Rachel: "I agree with Kokonoe. I enjoy it as well."

Ragna: "Same here. I just love it when that happens."

Xdante1: "Well, I have to admit, it does make me feel better. And there is only one character in the whole BlazBlue universe I hate more than him."

Terumi: "Seems I'm still too soft! HEHEHEHE!"

Tager: "Who is that character Xdante?"

Carl: "Let me guess, my father."

Xdante1: "Bingo."

Terumi: "You do know I have done more terrible things than he did, right?"

Xdante1: "There is nothing worse than trapping your own wife's and daughter's souls into dolls. Family should be one of the most important things in the world. Plus, he barely even acknowledges his own son. And I think he looks lamer than you."

Terumi: "Why thank you!"

Ragna: *to Terumi* "You will always be the worst person in MY life."

Noel: "Mine too."

Rachel&Kokonoe: "Same here."

Xdante1: "I can understand. Regarding the question, I can't really express my opinion about that since I'm the host. I should stay neutral."

Luna: "Really?"

Xdante1: "Who am I kidding? If he deserves it, I REALLY enjoy it!"

Ragna: "Now you're talking!"

Terumi: *annoyed* "Typical."

Xdante1: "Next! We also received 2 messages. The first one goes to Ragna. You're SonicMaster92's favorite character and you had the right to be pissed off half of the time considering the hell you went through in the past."

Ragna: "Thank you. Yeah, it was hell, but luckily things are starting to turn for the better here."

Terumi: "This day isn't over yet, Rags! HEHEHEHEHEHE!"

Ragna: *irritated* "I hope your head will blow up next time!"

Terumi: "It will! After I'm finally done with you, I'll just laugh 'till my head pops! HAHAHAHAHAHA!"

Ragna: "THAT'S IT!"

Xdante1: "SILENCE!"

*quiet*

Xdante1: "Terumi, if you don't behave I'll throw you in the torture room again!"

Terumi: "I'll play along… for now."

Xdante1: "It'll have to do. The next message is for every couple here. If any of you get married he's wishing the best of luck for you guys and he'll mail your gifts when you tie the knot."

Tsubaki: "He's invited too!"

Noel: "And we won't take 'no' for answer."

Litchi: "It's good to see people supporting you guys."

Bang: "I agree."

Xdante1: "Alright. Our next questions are from Holy ThunderForce. The first one is for Jin and Tsubaki, do you guys know who Hakumen really is?"

Tsubaki: "I've been expecting this question. Yes, we both know that Hakumen is actually Jin."

Jin: "The only difference is that he is from another timeline and if my suspicions are correct, Tsubaki is either dead or completely blind there." *to the cameras* "I bet you guys expected an epic outburst from us."

Terumi: "I can still make that timeline come true! HEHEHEHEHE!"

Tsubaki: "We'll stop you before that happens!"

Terumi: *sarcastic* "Oh please do! You were so successful in the past! HAHAHAHAHA!"

Jin: "THAT'S IT! ICE ARROWS!"

*Jin launched many ice shards at Terumi*

Xdante1: *to Terumi* "You asked for that one. Now let's see what Hakumen has to say about the subject."

Hakumen: "I'm already here. Well, if my past self can be with Tsubaki and is happy with her then it's alright by me."

Bullet: "But won't this change your past and make you disappear or something like that?"

Hakumen: "If it weren't for the Grimalkin I wouldn't even be here right now."

Kokonoe: "His time was already near its end."

Terumi: "You should have been left there to rot! HAHAHAHAHA!"

*Hakumen punched Terumi*

Hakumen: *to Xdante1* "Sorry, I couldn't control myself."

Xdante1: "I think we all agree that you did well there."

Tao: "White Guy did the right thing, meow."

Xdante1: "OK. Next! Noel, do you ever hang out with Nu and Lambda for some Murakumo bonding?"

Noel: "Yes, but we call it 'sister bonding'."

Nu: "We usually go to the arcade, watch a movie or go to the hairdresser."

Lambda: "Me and Nu are also regular visitors at Noel and Ragna's home. It's also fun to be with other people when they are there."

Makoto: "They also have many outings with me and Tsubaki too."

Tsubaki: "Sometimes it feels like the five of us are sisters."

Terumi: "The Bitchful Five! HEHEHEHEHE!"

Xdante1: "Enough is enough! HAKUMEN!"

Terumi: *panicked* "Please not again!"

Litchi: "That's what you get for messing with ALL of us!"

*Hakumen throws Terumi in the torture room for the 3rd time this episode*

Bang: "Justice is served!"

Xdante1: "3 times in the torture room during 1 episode. That's a new record. Moving on! Ragna, who do you think would win in a fight between you and Sol Badguy from Guilty Gear? Before you answer, Hakumen!"

*Hakumen brought back Terumi shaking like a leaf*

Xdante1: *to Ragna* "You may answer now."

Ragna: "Just a minute." *checks Sol's profile and description on the net* "I hate to say this, but if he would go all out on me, he would win."

Terumi: "HA! I bet I could take him down in no time!" *Ragna shows the page to him* "Or maybe not."

Bang: "He's that tough?"

Jin: *while looking at the page* "It says that he keeps holding back and even if he does get serious and goes through a transformation there is still evidence suggesting he is still holding back even more power."

Kokonoe: "I really want to do some experiments on him."

Tager: "And how do you expect to catch him?"

Kokonoe: "You got a point there." *to Xdante1* "Go on."

Xdante1: "There's another question for Ragna. What's your favorite animal?"

Ragna: "Cats."

Xdante1: "That's what Holy ThunderForce thought."

Ragna: "He made a right guess. My favorite pussycat is sitting right here." *putting an arm around Noel*

Noel: *playfully* "Meow."

Terumi: "Hope she got her shots! HAHAHAHAHA!"

Ragna: "How about I shot YOU with a gun?!"

Terumi: "Lucky for me, you don't have one! HEHEHEHEHEHE!"

*Noel gave one of her Bolverk guns to Ragna, who shot Terumi in the face with it*

Ragna: *handing back the gun* "Thank you, Noel."

Noel: "Anytime." *hugs Ragna*

Xdante1: "Next! A question for me again. He's asking me to consider putting in Kagura Mutsuki to the show because 'he's really Badass and the Epitome of Manliness'."

Bang: "What about me?!"

Xdante1: "He says you're only a close second. Sorry."

Bang: "At least I'm not at the bottom of the list."

Xdante1: "He's also asking me to put in Azrael as well."

Every girl: "DON'T PUT KAGURA IN!"

*Amane appears in front of us*

Amane: "I agree with the girls." *goes back to the rest of the staff*

Xdante1: "Well, I did think about whether to include them or not. I don't think I'll include Kagura. Knowing him, we might get sued for sexual harassment on the show. Plus, I'm sure she would hit on EVERY girl here and I really don't want that to happen, especially to the couples."

Every girl&Amane: *relieved* "Thank you."

Jin: "What about Azrael?"

Xdante1: "Well, we can tame Terumi, Bullet is acting nice here."

Bullet: *smiling* "Thanks."

Xdante1: "I guess we can handle him. I also got a message saying that he hates sporks."

*everyone bursts out laughing*

Makoto: "That's rich!"

Xdante1: "Alright. Let's add him. But before that." *takes out cell phone* "Hello? I'd like to cancel every utensil for the next delivery to the cast of The BlazBlue Talk Show. I'd only like sporks instead. Thank you." *hangs up*

Terumi: *grinning* "Nice! I like your style!"

Rachel: "I hate to agree with him but that was indeed clever."

Kokonoe: "This should be good!"

Xdante1: "Okay. Let's move on. Next questions are from The Grand Magus. His first question is for Ragna and Noel. You two seem to be the host's favorite couple, do you think this'll save you from the torture room if you do something bad enough that you actually deserve it? 'We'd never do something THAT bad.' isn't a valid answer, since people got sent in there arguing over a meat bun."

Ragna&Noel: "We're your favorite couple?"

Xdante1: "I thought that was obvious."

Noel: "Wow! Thanks."

Ragna: "Yeah. About the question, I don't think it would matter otherwise Xdante wouldn't have thrown in Luna to the torture room."

Luna: "Is that true?!"

Xdante1: "You're too cute."

Luna: "Thank you."

Tsubaki: *to the cameras* "I'd like to add that you didn't actually see Tao and Luna's argument."

Tao: "But Tao was hungry, mew."

Luna: "Using your claws was still too much!"

Tao: "Little Girls right. Tao's sorry."

Luna: "Alright. I'm sorry too."

Xdante1: "About the question, if they would do something like that (I hope they won't) then it'll be the torture room for them. Sorry guys."

Noel: "It would only be fair."

Ragna: "Still…"

Ragna&Noel: "We'd never do something THAT bad."

Xdante1: "Alright. Moving on! Terumi, why are you the only one who likes Noel's cooking?"

Terumi: "It's good! Or should I say it was good, until Rags started helping her."

Noel: *annoyed* "Like I care what you think."

Terumi: "You used to! HAHAHAHA!"

Noel: "Well, not anymore!"

Terumi: "We'll see! HEHEHEHE!"

Ragna: "That's enough out of you!"

Terumi: "I'm just getting started! HAHAHAHA!"

Xdante1: "SHUT UP!"

*silence*

Xdante1: "Good." *to Terumi* "There's also something else here. He says why don't you try being more subtle with your trolling, so it won't earn you this constant bashing. He also encourages you to do better."

Terumi: "Impossible! It's what makes me tick! And it's fun being a jerk! HAHAHAHA!"

Nu: "Nu disagrees!"

Lambda: "So do I."

Terumi: "Who cares what 2 failed weapons say?! HEHEHEHEHE!"

*they both launched 5 swords at him*

Kokonoe: "Nice move you two!"

Lambda & Nu: "Thank you."

Xdante1: "Next! RagingChimera92 sent 1 question. It's for Nu, aren't you bitter towards Noel since Ragna is her boyfriend? He knows you were head over heels for him."

Nu: "Nu only was. At first it felt bad, but if Noel can make Ragna happy then Nu is happy too. I can't force Ragna to love me."

Noel: "That's really nice Nu. I'm glad we're still good."

*they gave each other a hug*

Lambda: "I want a hug too."

*they opened up a bit and Lambda joined them*

Ada: "…"

Carl: "Sis says this is nice."

Litchi: "Yeah, it's good to see they get along so well."

Terumi: "Do a 3 way! HAHAHAHA!"

*Ragna and Tager both punched Terumi*

Xdante1: "I think he just broke every record for receiving punishments."

Rachel: "Then throw him in the room again as a reward."

Xdante1: "Only if he deserves it. We also received more gifts. Bring them in, Hakumen!

*Hakumen gives a box to Jin and Tsubaki*

Xdante1: "Tsubaki, you received a nice golden g-string bikini with some body oil."

Tsubaki: "How thoughtful. Thank you, RagingChimera92."

Xdante1: "Jin, you received some ropes, chains and a whip. Use your imagination."

*everyone else just looked at them amazed*

Jin: *smiling* "Seems we're going to have a long night, Tsubaki."

Tsubaki: *blushing* "That we will."

Luna: "Luna will stay quiet now."

Terumi: "And people say I have a wild imagination! That human is awesome! HAHAHA!"

*everyone looked shocked at Terumi*

Terumi: "What?"

Rachel: *irritated* "He's a chimera you imbecile!"

Bullet: "Now you're in trouble."

Terumi: "I'm not afraid of him!"

Xdante1: "You should be." *evil smile* "I'm sure he'll 'repay' you soon enough."

Kokonoe: "Can I film it when it happens?"

Xdante1: "You bet! He also has something for Relius. Since he's still at the hospital he'll receive his 'gift' later."

Carl: "Will I like his gift?"

Xdante1: "Even Makoto will love it."

Makoto: "Cool."

Xdante1: "That's all for today. Thanks for joining us again! As always keep sending those reviews and questions! Take it away, guys!"

BlazBlue cast: "Bye! Please read and review!"

Xdante1: "Bye!"

*Ending song*

*Lights turn off, cameras turn off*

Bang: *to Xdante1* "So how do you intend to find Azrael?"

Xdante1: "Hm… I don't know. Hakumen, do you have any ideas?"

Hakumen: "Ask Kokonoe. She has cameras everywhere."

Xdante1: "Good thinking." *to Kokonoe* "Can you help?"

Kokonoe: "Sure, no problem."

*checking her monitors*

Kokonoe: *surprised* "He's at a theatre?"

Ragna: *surprised as well* "A theatre? Azrael?"

Kokonoe: "I know. Unbelievable."

Xdante1: "Let's go get him, Hakumen."

Hakumen: *brings a giant butterfly net* "Roger."

Xdante1: *pointing at the net* "Seriously?"

Hakumen: "You're right." *he throws it away and grabs a bigger one* "We need the extra large one for this case."

Xdante1: "Exactly."

*we left to get Azrael and everyone left as well*

*well… alsmot everyone*

Terumi: "I still can't move here. Hello?"