Chapter 7: SHAZAM!

Tweet, went Nyamo's whistle. "Okay, class, great job!" she said, proudly surveying her students as they jogged by. "Go hit the showers! Except you, Pedro, two more laps."(1)

Osaka flopped fish-like to the ground, exhausted. "Fbleh," she moaned. "Ah think…mah lungs…are still…at…the startin' line."

Chiyo joined her. "My knees are on fire!" she whined. "Why'd we have to do the 300?"

A manic, sweat-soaked Tomo dragged her to her feet and shouted, "Because THIS…IS…SPORTA!" She then, of course, folded like an accordion.(2) "Oooh, pretty stars…"

"Miss Tomo, I think you're suffering from hypoxia again," sighed Chiyo.

"That would explain the state of her brain," agreed Yomi. "What were you thinking, sprinting like that in a distance event?"

"Midichlorians!" she wheezed.

"For heaven's sake, take some deep breaths before you suffer brain damage. More so."

Kagura jogged on the spot next to Sakaki, who leaned against a tree. "Ha hah!" she said, grinning ear to ear, "that was a close one, huh? We were neck 'n neck through the hurdles and the steeplechase! I so would'a beaten ya if it wasn't for that darn long-jump."

"Hah…" gasped Sakaki.

Kagura stopped. "Uh, hey, you okay there, Sakaki? You look a little pale."

"Oh dear," said Chiyo, who'd finally caught her breath, "I hope it isn't heatstroke. Do you feel dizzy at all, Miss Sakaki?"

"A…a little," she said, wavering slightly. "Feel…strange. Sort of…hot all over. Stomach…mmphf!" She doubled over, nauseous. Before anyone could react, she made a dash for a distant garbage can.

"Woah!" said Tomo. "That girl's fast!"

"Chiyo!" called Yomi, running after her, "get Nyamo!"

"R-right!" She dashed off.

"Uh," said Osaka, "I, uh, gotta get something!" She ran for the locker room.

Kagura reached Sakaki first. "Just breathe, girl, breathe!" she said. "Though, uh, not too deep," she said, after checking the can, "I think there's a skunk there or something."

"What do we do!?" freaked Tomo. "CPR? Insulin? Mouth-to-mouth?"

"Calm the hell down," Yomi snapped. "Don't worry, Sakaki, everything's going to be fine." She felt her forehead and gasped. "Holy mackerel, you're burning up!"

"Here!" said Tomo, grabbing a bottle. "Drink this! I barely spat in it!" Sakaki pushed it away, panting.

"What's happening to her, Yomi?!" cried Kagura.

"How should I know?" she replied. "Talk to us, Sakaki!"

Sakaki gasped, her face soaked with sweat, pupils dilated to pin-pricks. "I…I…ngh!" She fell to knees; Kagura saved her from a face-plant.

"I can't find Miss Nyamo!" cried Chiyo. She took one look at Sakaki and paled. "I'll get the nurse!"

"No!" Sakaki put a death-grip on Chiyo's wrist.

"Miss Sakaki?!" Her hands! They're like molten steel! She gasped when she saw her wild eyes.

"Please…" she whispered "I…" The words stuck in her throat. I'm scared, she mouthed.

Chiyo hesitated, and then took her hand. "It…it'll be okay, Miss Sakaki!"

"Sakaki," said Yomi, "please, you have to try and tell us what's happening to you, or we can't help."

She tried, valiantly, but couldn't catch her breath. What is happening to me? she thought. Her lungs were on fire, and her heart was approaching light-speed. Solar flares crawled across her skin, and lighting surged in her veins. She was burning all over, except for her gut, which seemed to be collapsing into an ice-cold black hole. "S-stomach…" she managed.

"Maybe it was something she ate?" Tomo babbled.

"Oh no!" gasped Chiyo. "The drink! But for it to cause this…that's inconceivable!"

"Aaaugh!" The girls leapt back at Sakaki's agonized cry.

"Oh crap! This is it!" said Tomo.

"Miss Sakaki!" cried Chiyo. "I'm sorry! Please hold on!"

"Nnn!" she replied, through gritted teeth. She clutched her head. "Hurts! Why does it hurt?!"

Chiyo reached out to hug her. Zap! "Ah!" A thunderous jolt of static electricity threw her on her rear. "What the…?"

"Uh, guys?" said Kagura. "I, uh, I think something's happening."

There was. Small bolts of electricity were arcing off Sakaki, scorching the grass. Motes of light shed from her skin like feathers from a phoenix.

"Aaand now she's glowing," continued Kagura. "That's, uh, that's not normal, I think."

"What did you put in that stuff, you crazy culinarian you?!" yelled Tomo, shaking Chiyo.

"It was all natural, I swear!" she wailed.

"M-maybe we should run?" said Yomi, preparing to do so.

"Make it stop!" cried Sakaki.

Chiyo was at her side in an instant. "I'm sorry, Sakaki," wept Chiyo, face buried in the girl's sleeve. "I'm sorry!"

Sakaki didn't hear her. "Someone please…they're hurting!"

Chiyo blinked. "'They're' hurting? W-who are 'they', Sakaki?" she whispered.

Sakaki, eyes brimming with radiant tears, turned to face her. "You…you can't hear them?"

"Hear whom?"(3)

"The…the voices," she said in a trembling whisper. "Everywhere…crying for help." She wept. "Someone…someone help them, please!"

Chiyo's hair stood on end as the air filled with plasma. She stood, awestruck, as an inner light seemed to fill her stoic friend, one hot and bright as a star, and spilled from her open eyes. "Miss Sakaki?" she whimpered.

"Chiyo!" cried Osaka, rounding the corner. "Run away, now!"

"Huh? Ah!" Kagura snatched Chiyo by the shirt and tossed her aside. "Miss Sakaki!"

Sakaki clutched her head as if it were about to burst. The light of distant novas surrounded her. There was a sound like the universe taking a shrill breath. "Someone," she whispered, "please…help them!"

And then there was light — not the warm, loving light of a thermonuclear bomb, but that of the thunderbolt, the furious fist of Zeus after a really bad day. Chiyo swore she could see her bones for a second. Then came heat, a blast from the heart of an exploding star. And then, at last, sound, a crackling, rolling, ear-splitting krack-KOOM that, strangely enough, did not rattle leaves or shatter windowpanes, but certainly shook every living thing that heard it to their core.

Chiyo coughed and rolled over. "Ouch…" She noticed Osaka was crouched right in front of her, holding an open umbrella like a shield. How did she get here so fast? she wondered.

"Chiyo," asked Osaka, seriously, "you okay?"

"Huh? Um, I think so?"

"That's good," she sighed. She put away her umbrella. "How about you guys?" she asked the others. "You, uh, ain't growin' horns or nothin', right?"

"Ugh…" said Kagura, clearly dazzled. "Seein' stars…like a million exploding suns …"

"I…I'm fine, I think," said Yomi, who didn't look it. "But what about —"

"Great Kirby's cigar!" shrieked Tomo. "Sakaki's exploded!"

And it seemed she had. Where once was an ordinary, if unusually tall, shy, and (at the time) glowing high-school girl, there was now just a small circle of scorched earth and a trash can that was having a seriously incendiary day.

Chiyo fell to her knees. "Oh no," she whimpered. "What have I done!? I, I've killed her!"

"No!" Osaka grasped her firmly by the shoulders. "No, she's okay Chiyo, really! I'm ain't sure, but I don't sense her over there!"

Chiyo blinked. "'Sense'…what are you talking about, Miss Osaka? And…why is your umbrella glowing?"

"Uh, Shield of the Seraphim," she muttered.

"Excuse me, but is this really the time to take a trip to Osaka-Land?" said Tomo. "Our best friend just went nuclear here!"

"Ah, Steve says it's more like fusion," said Osaka, listening to some unheard voice, "though I dunno the difference."

"Osaka," said Yomi.

"Mm? Waugh!" she said, upon seeing Yomi's expression.

Yomi loomed over her like an apocalyptic asteroid. "What. Is. Going. On? Where is Sakaki?! Spill it, or I'll, I'll —"

"Look!" said Kagura, pointing.

Chiyo gasped. There was a familiar raven-haired giantess standing by a nearby tree, wreathed in golden flames and staring at her hands with a horrified expression. "Miss Sakaki!"

The girls ran to her. "S-stay back!" she said, horrified. "I, I don't want to hurt you!"

"It's okay, Sakaki," said Osaka, clutching her umbrella. "We're here to help."

"We are?" said Tomo.

Chiyo took a few cautious steps towards her. "Miss Sakaki…what happened to you?"

"No!" Sakaki recoiled. "Stay away! I, I can't control it!"

"Sakaki," said Yomi, "we have to get you to a doctor."

"Uh, yeah," agreed Kagura. "That whole turning into light thing can't be normal."

"Am I the only one who's completely lost here?!" screeched Tomo.

Chiyo sniffed. "I'm sorry, Miss Sakaki. Please, come with me, and I'll try to fix everything." Arms open, she took another step.

"STAY BACK!" Sakaki cried.

There was a brilliant flash, and a crack of thunder. Sakaki opened her eyes. The girls were gone. "No…" She stared in horror at her radiant hands. "No! What have I done!?"

Another flash, and she too was gone.

(Footnotes)

1. I think we all know what his reaction was, yes?

2. The author would like to apologize for inventing an athletic event solely for the purpose of a bad pop-culture reference. The exact nature of "the 300" event is left as an imagination to the reader, but likely involves elephants.

3. Chiyo is exactly the kind of person who, in the midst of a terrifying cataclysmic event, would make sure she was using proper grammar. Regrettably, this author isn't sure whether this should be a "who" or "whom." He apologizes to Miss Mihama.