Disclaimer: I own none of the characters, they belong to Stephanie Meyer. All I own is my ideas.

Chapter 7 - Realizations

JPOV

Edward took off after getting a phone call. Part of me was frustrated because not only could I not figure out what is going on with Bella, but now Edward is starting to act strange as well. After he left I turned to Emmett and decided to ask him.

"Em, do you think Edward is acting a little strange lately?"

"What do you mean Jas?" he asked.

"Well, the three of us have always been able to talk to each other about things and lately I get the feeling that he is holding back or something." I tried to explain.

I didn't miss the way that Emmett looked down like he was trying to decide how much to tell me. "Just spit it out man."

"The truth is Jas that lately all you seem to do is complain about your sister. How much she has changed and shit like that," Emmett stated while refusing to look me in the eye.

"So what you are telling me is that I'm not allowed to worry about Bella."

"No, that isn't it at all. Listen I don't want to take sides in this shit but I can see the different points of view and sometimes you are a little too hard on her."

"How am I too hard on her? All I have done since our parents died is take care of her and help her become the best person she could. Now that I see her making choices that could be detrimental to her I'm concerned. How is that a bad thing?" I asked while trying to keep the aggravation out of my voice.

"That's just it Jas, you are trying to do what you think is best for her. You refuse to listen to her when she tries to talk to you, instead you end up insulting her, which just sets her off more and I can see that it is causing a riff in your relationship with her."

"I listen to her, even when what she has to say doesn't make any sense. And I surely don't insult her. How is asking if she put thought into what she does insulting her?" I huff because what Emmett is saying doesn't make sense.

Emmett raises an eyebrow as he looks at me. "Really, Jas. I don't know Bells as well as you do but even I can see that there is something there that is keeping her from being truly happy. And as for insulting her, even I didn't miss the insinuation that she was a slut when you found out about her tattoos."

"What do you mean she isn't happy? She has a great job and a family who loves her. Why shouldn't she be happy?"

"Dude, have you ever asked her if she even likes her job because from what Edward has told me she really doesn't. And yeah, she has you but maybe she wants something more. Have you ever asked her man?"

"What do you mean Edward told you? How well does he know my sister?"

"Edward met Bella while we were in Vegas. They have been talking since. And tonight while you were going off about how Bella blew you off, Edward was supposed to be on a date with her. So you see when you accused her of lying to you in order to avoid you, it was far from the truth because she did have to work and she ended up cancelling her first date with Edward because of it."

"Oh shit! What else could I be wrong about Em?"

"I don't know Jas, but I get the feeling that if you don't find a way to figure it out and try to bridge this gap that is building between you too it may be too late to fix it." Emmett solemnly replied.

After that we sat is companionable silence before we said goodnight and I headed home. Emmett had given me a great deal to think about. Maybe there was more going on than just Bella being rebellious, how could I have missed these changes and could I fix it before I lost my baby sister. Fuck I just prayed that it wouldn't be too late by the time I got a chance to sit down and talk to her.

BPOV

After I got home I headed straight to the kitchen and grabbed myself something to drink. I normally tried to limit the amount of alcohol I drank because I hated the feeling of being out of control, but tonight I needed something to calm myself down.

I loved spending time with Edward because whenever I was with him it was like a calming peace fell over me. I could let all my troubles go in that moment. What scared me was that no matter what I did he would eventually realize that I am not good enough for him. While he is the kindest, most compassionate man I know, there is so much about me that he doesn't know and I'm sure when he figures it out then he will realize that he needs to find someone better suited for him.

I decided that I had to put those thoughts aside for now because I refused to lose a good thing before I had too. I was going to hold on tight to anything Edward would give me and enjoy the time that we would be able to spend together.

With that thought I made my way to the bathroom to start myself a nice bubble bath. The bubbles would help me unwind from the stressful week and let me forget how much my brother hates me for a little while. I decided that I needed to focus on how happy I was that Edward wanted to reschedule our dated after I was forced to cancel it because of work. While he wouldn't tell me what we were doing I could only imagine that it was going to be worth the surprise.

Before I knew it my bath water was getting cold so I lifted myself out of bath and grabbed my most comfortable sweats and sweatshirt to sleep in before I climbed into my bed. Once I was comfortable I found myself drifting off to sleep easily. My dreams, instead of being filled with dread, were filled with visions of Edward.

The next morning I woke with a smile on my face. I couldn't wait to see what Edward had in store of us today. I looked outside and the weather was beautiful making me all the more excited over the prospect of spending the day with Edward.

A little after 11:00 my phone rang. I was excited to see that it was Edward, but I wouldn't lie and say that I wasn't a little apprehensive that he was calling to back out on our plans.

"Hello," I answered.

"Hey Bella, how are you doing this morning?" Edward asked.

"I'm doing pretty good. How are you?"

"Much better now that I get to hear your voice." He replied in his smooth velvety voice. "So are you still up for spending some time with me today?"

"Of course I am. I can't wait." I responded truthfully.

"Would it be alright if I picked you up at noon? Or do you need longer to get ready?"

"Noon is good. So are you going to tell me what we are doing now or do I still have to wait." I asked nervously.

"It's a surprise."

"Okay, well I will see you at noon then." I told him before we hung up.

After I hung up with Edward I couldn't contain my excitement. I got dressed in a pair of dark jeans and a form fitting sweater. If whatever he had planned had us spending time outside I would appreciate the sweater. As it got closer to the time for Edward to arrive my nerves started to get the better of me. Before I knew it noon was upon me and I nervously awaited Edward's knock on the door.

Right before noon Edward showed up. When I answered the door I took in the sight in front of me. He stood there in a pair of form fitting jeans, a dark green Henley and the perfect leather jacket. I found it difficult to suppress the moan that wanted to escape at the sight of him in front of me.

"Hi," I said.

"Hey. You look beautiful Bella."

"Thank you," I said as I felt my face flush at the compliment.

"So, are we ready to go," he asked.

"Sure am," I said. "Just let me grab my jacket."

We were then on our way. Edward walked me down to his car and like the gentleman he was he opened the door for me and helped me into the car. He then went around and got in the driver's seat and pulled into traffic. We drove in silence for a little while before Edward decided to break the quiet in the car.

"So what would you like to listen to," he asked as he grabbed his iPod.

"Whatever sounds good to you," I told him. I didn't want him to think I had bad taste in music so I figured the best bet would be just to go with whatever he felt like listening to.

Edward looked at his iPod for a few minutes before he settled on something. The next thing I knew some soft classical music was playing through the speakers. I didn't recognize it but I was relaxing. I was surprised when after he settled on what music to listen to, Edward reached over and grabbed my hand from my lap. He brought my hand to his mouth and gave it a kiss before he moved our joined hands to sit on the center console. We drove like that for a little while before I decided to break the silence.

"So Edward, are you ever going to tell me where we are going," I asked him jokingly.

"A little impatient, are we?" he chuckled.

"Yep, that's me," I laughed.

"Well, miss impatient. I thought since it is so nice out that we would spend some time outside today."

"Sounds like fun. Where are we going?"

"Nope, that is all you are getting until we get there," he told me as he once again lifted my hand and kissed it.

I sighed a contented sigh and sat back to enjoy the ride. Before long I looked up and noticed that we had arrived at the botanical gardens. I wondered how Edward could have known that I loved the botanical gardens. I would often come here to unwind and enjoy the peaceful atmosphere it offered.

Once we parked I turned toward Edward and he looked at me with what appeared to be a nervous expression on his face. "I hope this is okay. I thought we could spend some time getting to know one another better as we strolled through. But if you would rather go somewhere else we can do that." Edward stammered the last part.

Before I put too much thought into what I was doing I leaned over the center console and grabbed his face and turned it toward me and placed a chaste kiss on his lips before I let out a contented sigh.

"Edward, this is perfect. I love the Botanical Gardens. Thank you." I told him honestly.

Before I could open my door, Edward was around the car opening it for me. He helped me out of the car and grabbed my hand before we walked toward to the entrance of the gardens.

We started walking in silence for awhile. The silence was comfortable and I didn't feel the need to fill it with unnecessary chatter. About half an hour later we came upon some benches in the gardens and Edward guided me toward them.

"Let's sit for a little while," he said.

"Okay"

"Bella, I hope you are enjoying yourself today," he said quietly.

"Oh Edward, I am. I really love the Botanical Gardens. Actually I tend to come here when I need a quiet place to think. Unfortunately I haven't had a lot of spare time recently or else I would probably live here." I blurted out. Suddenly I was embarrassed by my bout of verbal diarrhea.

I tried to look away from Edward in order to hide my embarrassment at basically admitting that my life sucked, but as I turned my head he grabbed my chin to keep me from turning away from him.

"Don't be embarrassed Bella. There is no shame in coming to a beautiful place to sort things out." He told me. "Besides that, now you can remember this also as the place where we had our first official daytime date."

"Daytime date?" I asked.

"Well of course. I have something better planned for our first actual date, but I don't see this as just friends hanging out so it is therefore a daytime date."

"I really like the sound of that," I told him.

We sat there with our arms wrapped around each other for a few minutes before I decided to break the silence. "So Edward, you know that I like to come to the Botanical Gardens, so what do you like to do to relax in your spare time?"

"As you have already figured out, spare time is often hard for me to come by but what I like to do when I do get it varies. I like to spend time with the people I love, I like to read, and I also like to play music."

"What type of music do you play?"

"It depends on my mood. I tend to play everything from classical to rock," he told me.

"Wow, I wish I had musical talent," I said quietly before continuing to myself 'or any talent'. "Maybe if you wouldn't mind you could play for me sometime," I asked.

"Bella, I would love nothing more than to play for you." Edward told me. Since he didn't say anything I was glad to know that he had missed my final comment because I didn't want him feeling any sorrier for me than he probably already did.

"So Bella, other than the gardens, what do you like to do in your spare time?"

"Well, like you I like to read, I also like to write, although I'm not that good at it, and I like to cook." I told him.

We sat there for a while getting to know one another. I learned that Edward always wanted to be a doctor because he wanted to help people. I learned that he had an eclectic taste in music and had almost every genre of music in his collection. I also learned that he is close to his family and likes to spend time with his parents and Alice when he gets the chance.

Hearing how close Edward is to his family made me a little sad. I tried not to let it show but obviously I didn't do a very good job because he asked me, "Bella, what's wrong baby? What's with the sad face?"

"It's nothing Edward. Just listening to how close you are with your family makes me miss my parents." I told him honestly.

"Oh baby, I didn't even think about that. I know you must miss your parents, but at least you still have Jasper."

I took a deep breath before I answered him. "Yeah, I still have Jasper. Don't get me wrong because I love him with all my heart, but I can't help but feel that all I am to him anymore is an obligation that he has to take care of just because I'm his sister." I said as I tried to keep the sob from escaping from my chest.

Edward noticed that I was on my way to breaking down. "Let's get out of here and find someplace quiet for us to continue this conversation."

"I'm sorry. I didn't mean to ruin your wonderful day. We can stay here." I tried to convince him.

"First, you did not ruin anything. You were just responding to your feelings and I always want you to know that you can be honest with me. Bella I really like you and I like that you can be open with me so please never apologize for telling me how you are feeling. I just think you might be more comfortable if we went somewhere else to continue this conversation." He told me with conviction in his voice.

"Okay, lead the way then," I said as we stood up and started our way back to his car. Before we got very far Edward had once again grabbed my hand and held it tightly as we walked together.

When we got back to the car Edward opened the passenger door for me. Before I could get in the car he pulled me to him and placed a gentle kiss on my lips before pulling me into a warm embrace. All too soon Edward released me from his embrace and we both got into the car. He drove to a nearby Starbucks and we went through the drive-thru to get our coffees. We continued to drive until Edward cleared his throat, "would you like to go to my place to continue our talk or would you rather go to yours?"

"I'm fine with yours if you want to go there," I told him timidly. I knew we needed to have this conversation but I dreaded it because I was afraid that once I opened myself up to him that way he would see that I am not worth his time.

"Alright, my place it is," he said with a smile on his face. We drove for about another five minutes before we came to a lovely upscale apartment building. I knew I shouldn't have been surprised by where Edward lived, I mean he is a doctor after all, but I couldn't help the fact that I felt a little bit intimidated by the building in front of me.

Edward walked me into the building, saying hello to the doorman before making his way to the elevator. Once we were in the elevator Edward pushed the button for the top floor. The trip on the elevator was a quiet one as I didn't know what to say to him.

We reached the top floor and Edward directed me out the elevator and turned to the right taking me to the apartment at the end of the floor. He unlocked the door and we entered the apartment. I looked around not wanting him to think I was snooping but I took in the décor and somehow I knew that he didn't decorate this place himself because this place definitely had a woman's touch.

"I love the décor. It is very comfortable and homey," I told him.

"Yeah, my mom and Alice did most of the decorating, although they did let me pick the furniture out." He told me indicating the soft brown leather furniture in the living room.

"You all did a very nice job," I said sincerely.

"Would you like a tour?" he asked.

"You don't have to do that." I said.

"Okay, how about this, we sit and talk while we drink our coffee and then before I take you home we will have the official tour." He said.

"Okay."

We moved toward the living room and I took a seat on one edge of the sofa. I expected Edward to sit either in the chair or on the opposite side of the couch but he surprised me by sitting down right next to me and putting his arm around my shoulder.

"Bella, I am learning that family is a difficult topic for you to talk about, but I have to ask you something. Do you really believe that all you are is an obligation to Jasper?" Edward asked with a frown on his face.

I knew I couldn't look at him if I was going to try and tell him how I really felt so looked down at my coffee cup on my lap as I tried to form the words. "Don't get me wrong Edward, I know that Jasper loves me in his own way, but yeah I do believe I am nothing but an obligation to him." I said truthfully.

"Why do you feel that way?"

"It's hard to explain and I'm sure that you are going to think that I am stupid when I tell you it, but…" I started.

"Bella, take your time baby, and I could never think you are stupid. I just want to know what goes on in that beautiful head of yours."

"As you likely already know, Jasper basically has acted as my parent since our parents died. He has always been there pushing me forward, reminding me that my parents would have wanted me to finish my schooling and become a lawyer. He has basically acted like a surrogate father at times."

"Okay, but I'm sure he did that because he loves you and not because you are a burden," Edward explained.

"I know he loves me Edward but truthfully I have been trying to be the perfect sister and daughter for as long as I can remember and I don't know if I can do it anymore." I sobbed.

"Honey, Jasper doesn't expect you to be perfect."

I threw my hands up in the air and started pacing around Edward's living room. "Yes he does Edward. You saw how he reacted when he saw my one tattoo, he went ballistic because I wasn't displaying the type of behavior he deemed acceptable." I sighed.

"Okay, I will give you that he did overreact there."

"Edward it just isn't that. I used to feel like I could talk to Jasper, but over the last year or so if I am not telling him what he wants to hear he blows me off and tells me that I should be happy because I have everything. But I'm not happy, and knowing that the only time my brother wants anything to do with me is if I pretend or am doing something that he needs from me is tearing me apart." I sobbed.

Before I knew it Edward was on his feet and in front of me. He wrapped me in a tight embrace and told me that everything would be alright. "Why haven't you tried to tell Jasper or even Alice how you are feeling?" He asked.

"I want to but honestly Edward you saw how Jasper reacted to the tattoo. Do you really think he is going to respond well if I tell him that all I feel like is an obligation to him?"

"I understand why you are scared Bella, but if you keep all this inside it is going to end up killing you. You need to find a way to get it out baby." He said as he drew gentle circles in the small of my back. "If you would like I could find a way to help you try to talk to Jasper."

"I will think about it," I told him as I tried to dry my tears.

"Okay, baby," he told me as he kissed away my remaining tears. "How about that tour now?"

"Sure"

Edward gave me the grand tour of his apartment. To say that I was in awe would be a gross understatement. His kitchen was full of stainless steel appliances and granite countertops, his bathroom included a Jacuzzi tub and waterfall shower, his bedroom included a king-size sleigh bed in mahogany. The room I loved the most, however, was his library/music room. He had a baby grand piano and a collection of books and music I would kill for.

Unfortunately all too soon our tour was cut short. "Do you still feel like going out?" Edward asked me.

"If you still want to spend time with me after my breakdowns today, I would love to go out," I responded honestly.

"Baby, there is nothing that could make me not want to spend time with you." Edward told me.

I blushed at his statement. "Do I have time to go home and change?" I asked.

"If you want to, but how you are dressed right now is perfect for what I have planned." He told me.

"Okay, if this is alright then lead the way Mr. Cullen." I told him.

With that we headed out for the second half of our date. Despite the emotional issues of the day, this was turning out to be a pretty good day. I couldn't wait to see what else Edward had in store for me.