500-1000 words; A Medical Situation; Ritual

The doctor's waiting room was small. Which was appropriate considering the size of the town it was in… But then, Envy - being a big-city boy himself - never liked stopping to consider how 'appropriate' something was. So he just stopped at small. And dirty.

"Do you seriously want to be here?"

"Its better than anywhere else at the moment."

"Leave."

"Nope."

"I'll pay you to leave."

"What the hell would I do with your money in this dinky town?" Envy snorted, snickering from his reclined position when Ed's expression only turned, impossibly, more determined.

"I'll tell you where the guy who sells hard liquor in his basement lives and pay you if you take a hike right now." This made the older teen quirk a brow. If Edo was this desperate to get him out of there, something fun was bound to happen.

"No chance in hell O'Chibi-san!" Envy grinned widely and leaned foreword to watch as Ed sighed and hit his head on the wall behind him dejectedly. "Besides, your brother was the one who asked me to come along and make sure you don't assault any unsuspecting doctors." He chimed to rub it in.

"And I'm planning on how to get him back every second." The blonde muttered darkly, only adding to Envy's amusement.

"Elric, Edward?" An attendant's monotone voice called suddenly from the doorway opposite of the exit, interrupting their conversion and causing Edward to go pale. A fact that Envy noticed with glee.

"Here he is!" The green-haired teen proclaimed, in the same moment Ed started to make for the door out, reaching out to catch the younger male by his hood as he did so. "C'mon Edo, wouldn't wanna miss your appointment."

'And whatever the hell is unnerving him so much' Envy snickered mentally, easily hauling said protesting, and loudly cursing, teen behind him by his shirt as he walked up to join the flabbergasted attendant where she still stood in front of the door.

It was only when they'd reached said doorway that she managed to get some semblance of thought together - what, she'd never seen a boy wearing only a crop-top and skort gleefully drag another boy, who looked like he might be heading for certain death, across a room before? - and interrupted Ed's shouting.

"Um, sir, only the parent or guardian of the patient may accompany them into the back unless the have special permission to-"

"Oh, I have permission." Envy cut in smoothly, shooting her a glare that left no room for argument and squashing Ed's last strand of hope beneath his bare foot. He added the next part for the blonde alone. "And I don't think the poor Chibi could survive without me since he seems unable to even walk on his own, huh?"

"Fuck. You." and a scathing look were all the answer Ed gave, but he still yanked away and stood on his own, motioning for the aid to go on and pushing past Envy with a steely look when she did.

Envy just rolled his shoulders in response. If anything, Ed's hostility only made the situation that much more amusing. Especially when the blonde caught sight of the measuring stick taped to the wall and stiffened up like mouse in front a cat's mouth.

"Please step over here Mr. Elric." The attendant instructed, apparently trying to ignore Envy completely now. "Heels against the wall. Thank you."

There was a scratching sound as the attendant quickly wrote down the results, then blinked, looked troubled and checked again with apparently no change. Ed swallowed, Envy leaned foreword expectantly.

"Mr. Elric… have you… shrunk since last year?" That seemed to be the final straw. Envy felt his mouth twitch once in unison with Ed's left eye, before they both cracked in completely different ways.

"WHO ARE YOU CALLING A TODDLER SO SMALL HE CAN'T EVEN SEE OVER THE KITCHEN COUNTER!" He yelled at the stunned attendant and probably would've jumped her at that moment if a giggling Envy hadn't grabbing him under both arms and pulled him back the way they came, waving a cheery goodbye to the poor shell-shocked women.

Luckily, Ed stopped shouting once they were outside and only shot Envy a single, very embarrassed look, before he took off in a quick walk down the street. The taller teen caught up easily, still laughing, which only made the blonde's blush worse.

"How could you possibly be shorter than your last physical?" Envy managed after a minute, wiping tears of enjoyment out of his eyes. He'd expected Ed to blow up again at these words, he didn't expect the younger male to stop suddenly and glare at his toes like it was all their fault and mumble something intelligible under his breath.

"What's that? Speak up a little." Ed scowled.

"I said-! I… wore the wrong shoes…" Envy blinked and slowly let his eyes drift down to take in the distinct absence of the Chibi's usual platform-boots. Instantly, he felt another round of giggling come on, but managed to push it down when he also noticed the miserable look on the blonde's face.

"Awww, well." Ed looked up when a warm arm was suddenly thrown around his shoulder and Envy began tugging him along once again like he'd never stopped. "There's always next year O'Chibi-san!" He grinned.

"Besides, tall would look weird on you anyways."

"Shut up!"

895 words.

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