The Pitch
Wesker knew that they had no story, and he also know that he would lose the investment if they didn't come up with something fast. "Ah, yes. Well the story's about…Chris?"
Everyone looked to Chris, thinking that he knows what the story's about. 'Damn you Wesker.' He thought to himself, and tried to come up with something; unfortunately he didn't have that kind of talent.
"Well, the story-the story's about…well, it's about um…" Just then Leon thought of something good. "It's about love!" he says. 'Whew.' thought Chris in relief.
"Love?" asks Saddler with a sneer. Leon nods and turns meaningfully at Ada. "It's about love overcoming all obstacles."
"And it's set in Switzerland!" Chris cuts in with excitement. Everyone had a puzzled look. "Switzerland?" asks Saddler alarmed. "Exotic Switzerland!" Wesker exclaims.
Leon looks around, sees a statue of Ganesh, and gets an inspiration. "India. India! It's set in India." Then he walks towards Ada.
"And there's a courtesan, the most beautiful courtesan in all the world." Then he turns to Saddler. "But her kingdom's been invaded by an evil maharajah. Now in order to save her kingdom, she has to seduce the evil maharajah, but, on the night of the seduction, she mistakes a penniless po-" Leon pauses, and realizes he'd better not give too much away. 'I don't want to get Ada into trouble.' His eyes then fall on a sitar.
"A penniless- a penniless sitar player…" he runs and picks it up. "…for the evil maharajah, and she falls in love with him!" he turns to Ada again. "He wasn't trying to trick her or anything, but he was dressed as a maharajah because he's appearing in a play."
Carlos then grabs the sitar from Leon. "I will play the penniless tango-dancing sitar player. He will sing like an angel, but dance like the devil!" Saddler is now starting to get fascinated, "Yes. Yes, all right. And- and what happens next?"
"Well, the penniless sitar player and the courtesan, they have to hid there love from the evil maharajah." Leon says while using Carlos and Ada as examples.
Then Billy cuts in with something very clever. "The penniless sitar player's sitar is magical. It can only speak the truth!" Chris takes the sitar from Carlos. "And- and I'll play the magical sitar." He turns to Ada and imitates the sound of a sitar. "Brrrring, you are beautiful."
He turns to Wesker and dose the same thing. "Brrrring, you are ugly."
He then turns to Saddler. "…and you are…" but before he could finish everyone clasps there hands over his mouth, knowing what he was going to say next.
"Yes, yes, yes. And he gives the game away, eh?" asks Saddler, very eager.
"YES!" everyone exclaims.
"Tell him about the can-can." Wesker says to Leon. "The-the-the tantric can-can. It's…"
Wesker pushes Leon to one side and addresses Saddler. "It's an erotic spectacular scene that captures the thrusting, violent, vibrant, wild bohemian spirit that this whole production embodies, Saddler." Leon, Ada, and the bohemians assemble behind Wesker.
"What do you mean by that?" asks Saddler.
"I mean the show will be a magnificent, opulent, tremendous, stupendous, gargantuan bedazzlement, a sensual ravishment. It will be…"
Wesker turns and gestures. Leon, Ada, and the bohemians do the same as Billy plays a glissando on the piano. Wesker begins to sing.
Spectacular Spectacular!
No words in the vernacular
Can describe this great event.
While Wesker sings he twirls from one side of Saddler to the other.
You'll be dumb with wonderment.
Returns are fixed at ten percent-
You must agree, that's excellent.
Wesker walks backwards away from Saddler.
And on top of your fee…
Leon, Ada, Chris, Carlos, and Barry come up from behind Wesker and sing the next part while Billy plays the piano.
…you'll be involved artistically.
Leon, Ada, Wesker, Chris, Carlos, and Barry advance towards Saddler and begin to sing.
So exciting, the audience will stomp and cheer!
So delighting it will run for fifty years!
So exciting, the audience will stomp and cheer!
Saddler is looking slightly alarmed, and backs up and sits down in a chair.
So delighting it will run for fifty years!
Chris makes an elephant trunk with his arms, "Elephants!"
Barry holds a bong and makes a peace sign, "Bohemians!"
Wesker dose an Indian dance move, "Indians!"
Ada strikes a pose, "And courtesans!"
Billy is swinging on the chandelier, "Acrobats!"
Leon throws an orange to Carlos, who is wearing the fur rug from earlier, and starts juggling with that and two other oranges. "And juggling bears!"
Chris has the curtain draped around him, "Exotic girls!"
Barry breathes fire, "Fire-eaters!" everyone sings.
Everyone strikes various poses as they sing.
Muscle-men, contortionists! Intrigue, danger…
"And romance!" Chris cuts in.
Electric lights! Machinery!
"All runs with electricity!" sang Chris.
Everyone starts dancing in a circle around Saddler.
So exciting the audience will stomp and cheer!
So delighting it will run for fifty years!
Everyone starts dancing towards Saddler.
So exciting the audience will stomp and cheer!
Everyone starts dancing backwards from Saddler.
So delighting it will run for fifty years!
Everyone marches on the spot while on their knees.
Spectacular Spectacular,
No words in the vernacular
Can describe this great event!
Everyone points to Saddler while singing the next part.
You'll be dumb with wonderment!
Saddler looks over at Billy playing the piano with his feet on top of it. 'I hope those feet are clean.' Saddler though to himself, and continued to listen to the song. Everyone continues to sing in an Indian like style with various props.
The hills are alive with the sound of music!
Then they all start jumping up and down with their arms at their sides.
So exciting the audience will stomp and cheer!
So delighting it will run for fifty years!
Everyone then runs towards Saddler and picks up his chair.
So exciting the audience will stomp and cheer!
So delighting it will run for fifty years!
Everyone then strikes a final pose together in front of Saddler.
"Yes, but what happens in the end?" Saddler asks.
Everyone looks at one another, then jump up and run around grabbing props, before disappearing behind a curtain. Chris sets a lamp in front of the curtain and Billy turns the lights out, except for the lamps that light the stage. Leon steps to one side as the curtain opens to reveal Carlos, in a makeshift turban, and Ada, with fans in her hair and a jeweled headband, in an embrace. Leon clears his throat and begins to sing.
The courtesan and sitar-man
Are pulled apart by an evil plan.
Barry comes in wearing a black cloak, and separates Ada and Carlos. Ada finishes the song.
But in the end she hears his song.
Onstage, Ada and Carlos are coming together. Leon takes it from here.
And their love is just too strong.
At hearing this Ada turns to look at Leon.
Now it was Saddlers turn to sing.
"It's a little bit funny this feeling inside."
Everyone looks at Saddler, and then Ada, Leon, Carlos, and Chris form a kick-line while Wesker, Barry, and Billy do a scene change.
So exciting, the audience will stomp and cheer!
So delighting, it will run for fifty years!
Leon steps off the side. Ada and Carlos take their places onstage as Billy pulls a screen across behind them. Chris, while holding the sitar, falls down, and Leon starts singing again.
Sitar player's secret song
Helps them flee the evil one.
While singing this, Ada and Carlos crouch beneath the screen while a toy maharajah and horse gallops along the top of it.
Though the tyrant rants and rails,
It is all to no avail.
Billy pushes the screen off as Carlos and Ada cower as the toy horse rears up. Behind it, Wesker, wearing a makeshift turban, and a blanket tied around his shoulders, appears. "I am the evil maharajah! You will not escape!" Saddler is looking every amused, while sipping his drink.
"Oh, Albert, no-one could play him like you can!" Ada states with amusement in her voice. "No-ones going to." Wesker replies proudly. Everyone clusters on top of the piano and continues to sing.
So exciting, we'll make them laugh, we'll make them cry!
Everyone then gets in a line in front of Saddler.
So delighting…
"In the end should someone die?" Saddler interrupts. Everyone pauses to look at each other, then continue to sing.
So exciting, the audience will stomp and cheer!
Everyone dances backwards, then runs towards Saddler in pairs, then split off and run around setting up for the final pose.
So delighting it will run for fifty years!
The song ends with a flourish. Saddler stares at the elaborate tableaux in front of him: Everyone was in various poses as befit their roles in the production; Chris had somehow ended up on Mendez's shoulders.
"Generally, I like it." Was Saddlers response to the whole idea.
At hearing this Leon, Ada, Wesker, and the bohemians run towards Saddler, patting him on the back and cheering their hearts out.
Wesker had an investor. And the bohemians had a show.
A/N: I would like to thank everyone who reviewed. I also wanted to tell you that I'm not going to be updateing for a while since I've got finals coming up; but dont worry I'm not giving up on the story, I'll see this to the end!