Stormy State of Mind VII

Disclaimer: I do not own Hawaii 5-0. I guess that I won't find Steve McGarrett under my tree on the 25th either…..darn.

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Chapter 7

At the ICU waiting room the three men were told they weren't able to go in and see Steve just yet. As they waited, Danny gave Chin an interested look.

"You know the ER doc," he said not making it a question.

"Kawena was a good friend of Malia's. She's a good doctor, I'm sure she did everything she could for Steve," Chin replied. "He's in good hands here."

"McGarrett's going to need it," Lou observed. "He looked pretty rough when we found him."

"A night out in a storm with those injuries was not good for him. It's the infection that will be the toughest battle, the collarbone will heal," Chin stated seriously.

"What's taking so long?" Danny grumbled.

He no sooner spoke when a nurse appeared and ushered them into the quiet of the ICU. They found Steve still asleep with numerous tubes and wires attached to his body. His right arm was immobilized in a sling and his right ankle was wrapped and elevated. His forehead was beaded with sweat, making it clear his fever had not broken yet.

Danny immediately went to McGarrett's left side and stared down at his friend. Once more he felt a flash of guilt for not being available when Steve was feeling alone. "He shouldn't have been on that trail alone. What was he thinking?"

"It's how he does thing Danny. Steve just ran into some bad luck," Chin said sympathetically as he moved to stand beside Danny. "None of us was aware of what Steve was feeling."

"I should have known," Danny said softly.

Before either Chin or Lou could respond, McGarrett began to move his head back and forth restlessly, muttering under his breath. Danny leaned in to try and make out what was being said. He straightened up and looked sadly at the other two men.

"He is asking for Catherine," he told them. "Does anyone know the last time he's heard from her?"

Both men shook their heads. This news could explain so much about McGarrett's behavior.

"No wonder he went off alone," Lou said. "He has certainly had more than his share of bad luck."

"Stubborn, proud SEAL….he figures a physical challenge will solve all his problems," Danny muttered.

Chin reached out and patted Williams on the shoulder.

"That's his training, its how he has been taught to cope. You can scold him when he wakes up. We'll just have to make him realize that he doesn't have to go it alone," Kelly told him. "Why don't you take the first watch and one of us will relieve you later. Call us if there are any major changes."

"Yea…sure thing," Danny nodded, his eyes locked on Steve's face. He carefully placed a hand on McGarrett's undamaged shoulder in an attempt to calm his agitated partner. To his relief, Steve quieted and a small smile graced his lips. "Go ahead, I've got this."

With a final pat to Danny's shoulder from Chin and a thumbs up from Lou, the two guys headed out of the room leaving Danny alone with McGarrett. Danny pulled a chair close so he could sit next to the bed and touch Steve if he became restless again. He gazed thoughtfully at his partner's now still form.

"Well babe, it looks like it just you and me for the moment," he said quietly. "First off…let me say how sorry I am that you felt you couldn't come and talk to me. I sensed that something was wrong but I was so caught up in my minor tiff with Amber that I wasn't available." He paused as Steve turned his face towards him but didn't open his eyes. His breathing was shallow but regular.

"Honest Steven," Danny continued. "I know how you feel about Catherine and I know her absence has to hurt. I know how it feels to be alone and I wish I had been easier to talk to. I promise I'll be more willing to listen next time."

Danny stopped again, hoping his partner would open his eyes and tell him to shut up but McGarrett just lay there. The machines beeping in the background only served to mock Danny making him feel useless. A deep sigh escaped him as he leaned forward to rub his eyes with the heels of his hands.

"Man Steve….. how did we get this distant? I love you babe and if I could go to Afghanistan and haul Catherine back here I would. The two of you are quite the pair, you know," he continued with a smile. "You both are so duty bound and self-sacrificing that you ignore what will make you both happy. You belong together and I would love to have her come home safely."

Leaning back in his chair, Danny rested his head against the chair back and closed his eyes. He knew he should probably call Amber and let her know what was happening but he just couldn't summon the energy to make that call. He knew Grace was with Rachel and Stan so she was safe and he had no desire to panic her with news about her Uncle Steve's condition just yet.

Steve shifted in his bed again, his fever refusing to let him rest peacefully. Danny sat straighter, watching McGarrett like a hawk. When Steve remained asleep, Danny began to relax again.

"Come on babe, you need to beat this infection. It's not like you to let some lousy bacteria win this fight," Danny urged, reaching out to put his hand on Steve's arm through the rails of the bed. "You can do it Steve," he said in encouragement.

As McGarrett became calmer, Danny sat back and tried to release the tension in his body. He had faith in the doctors that were tending to McGarrett and would make his partner healthy again. But now he was concerned about Steve's state of mind. So very many things had been dumped on his partner and when he considered things…it was surprising that Steve hadn't snapped earlier. The trek into the jungle with a storm coming on was not strange when you realized some of McGarrett's other moves over the years. He had vanished to track Wo Fat down several years ago, leaving behind only a letter and if he was worried about Catherine it was surprising he hadn't gone back to Afghanistan to retrieve her no matter what the CIA had said. Danny wished that he could help his friend find the balance in his life that he needed.

It was only ten minutes later that a red-headed nurse entered the room and went straight to Steve to record his vitals. Danny could see her frown when she took Steve's temperature.

"Is something wrong?" Danny asked in concern as he came to full alert.

"His temperature has not dropped at all. It seems that the antibiotics are not doing their job against this infection," the woman who appeared to be in her mid-thirties answered. Her name badge said her name was Tracy. "Don't worry Det. Williams; we are keeping a close eye on the Commander."

"I don't doubt it Tracy but you will have to excuse me if I continue to worry about Steve," Danny informed her. "It is just in my nature."

"That is okay Detective, you worry and I'll make sure the doctors are aware of the Commander's condition," Tracy told him as she finished up and turned to leave the room. "We take our job very seriously here and we will make sure to do our best for Commander McGarrett."

"Thank you, "Danny replied as Tracy went out to the central desk in the middle of the ICU unit.

Getting to his feet, Danny began to pace the room, trying to burn off the nervous energy that was building in him. It was not a good sign that the antibiotics weren't working and he hoped that they would find the right mix quickly. He rounded the foot of the bed for the fourth time when he halted at the sound of his name. He could see Steve's eyes were open slightly but looking a bit unfocused.

"Hey Steve, good to see you awake buddy," he said hurrying back to McGarrett's left side. "How are you feeling?"

"Is Catherine here? Did you call her?" Steve asked anxiously, unable to meet Danny's gaze.

"Catherine isn't here Steve. She is in Afghanistan, remember?" Danny said quietly.

"No….she has to be here. I need to talk to her," Steve muttered feverishly. As he shifted restlessly in the bed, he winced in pain as he pulled his shoulder. Danny reached out to touch Steve's good shoulder and spoke gently to his confused friend.

"Easy Steve. I'll try and call her if you can tell me how to reach her."

Calming down, Steve blinked as he tried to focus on Danny.

"I should be with her. She needs me," he mumbled.

"You had no choice babe, the Navy and the CIA wouldn't let you stay. You have to trust Catherine, she will come home," Danny assured him.

"I love her," Steve whispered, losing his battle to stay awake. His eyes closed as the fever took over his body once more.

"Of course you do," Danny told the now silent figure. "And if I could find Catherine and bring her home I would. You my friend need to beat this infection. You don't want her to find you lounging around in a hospital bed, do you?"

Moving away from the bed, Danny resumed his pacing. Seeing Steve McGarrett look so vulnerable was unsettling. Williams didn't know how to contact Cath but maybe Joe White could help him with that. And while Joe was at it, he could give Steve a lead on Doris as well. It was time McGarrett had some closure with the women in his life.

Steve was still sleeping when Chin came by to relieve him. Danny went home reluctantly, ate some leftovers, tried to reach Joe and finally got some sleep. In the morning he had some strong coffee and a day old pastry before heading back to the hospital. He found Grover trying to find a comfortable position in the chair. Steve was asleep but there was still a fine sheen of sweat on his forehead.

"How is he?" Danny asked.

"His temp has gone down about two degrees but that's all. They've switched antibiotics an hour ago to see if it helps. Steve has been awake for short moments but he's not making much sense. He asks for Catherine, his mother and even told me to go bring in Wo Fat. It's no wonder he can't rest, he has an awful lot pressing on his mind," Lou told him.

"Yea he does," Danny agreed. "I'm glad he has had you to confide in."

Lou got up and nodded to Danny.

"He listened to me so I listened to him, that's all," Grover replied. "Sometimes it's easier to open up to someone who isn't close to you. Less chance of losing a friend that way. Be patient with him, he'll open up in time. I'm going for breakfast, see you later," Lou stated as Danny settled in the chair to keep watch.

End chapter.

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