Whale of a Ride
"Hmmm…" Zim looked at a star chart. "Now I know that we are somewhere in the southwestern corner of the Middlewack system. Or is that the southeastern? Well we're somewhere in the south. Unless I'm reading this wrong and we're in the north…"
"Zim, the more time I spend with you the more I'm amazed you found the Earth at all!" Gaz glared at him. "Seriously, Gir has a better sense of direction than you!"
"Only when he remembers to put his homing chip in his head and doesn't remove it for cupcakes," Zim sniffed.
"I do like cupcakes," Gir nodded.
"Hey look over there!" Dib pointed to some huge creatures in the distance. "Are those space whales?"
"They are," Gaz said. "I remember from that little trip we went to Planet Goo."
"Sure hope there are no space goldfish around this time," Dib blinked.
"No, but I am picking up the Anti-Zim League heading right for us," The Computer said. "Just a warning here."
"Those guys again?" Zim grumbled. "Why do they want to bother Zim?"
"Really? We need to explain that whole thing again?" Gaz groaned.
"I thought we got rid of those guys?" Dib groaned.
"We did but thanks to that DNA tracker they've found us," Gaz glared at Zim.
"Wait! Those DNA trackers were made by Vortian scientists! And they have one weakness!" Zim remembered something. "Now all we have to do is…AH HA! THERE!"
"Zim where you taking us?" Dib asked as Zim piloted the ship.
"To hide in plain sight! Hold on!" Zim cackled as he piloted the ship closer to the pod of space whales.
"Uh Zim please tell me you are not going to do what I think you are going to do!" Dib blinked.
"He is…" Gaz remarked as they headed for the mouth of one very large space whale.
"I told you not to tell me!" Dib groaned.
"Actually you just told Zim not to tell you," Gaz shrugged. "Okay it's a technically but…"
"We are almost at the mouth of the space whale," The Computer said. "Commence screaming in five, four, three, two…"
"AAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAHHH!" Dib, Gir and Zim started to scream as the whale started to swallow them whole. Gaz of course stayed silent.
Meanwhile back at the Anti Zim Fleet…
"Zim's bio signature has disappeared," Nub Bubbins, the tiny alien spoke from the controls of his station. "No trace of him!"
"Zim's computer must have seen us coming and warned him," Bob grumbled. The tiny Irken had a bandage on his head.
"He must have used his hyperdrives to jump into hyperspace in order to evade us," Sgt. H 678 grunted. His left arm was bandaged. "Typical Zim to run and hide instead of fighting like an Irken!"
"Well he's obviously high tailed it out of this galaxy," Bob grumbled. "No point in hanging around here."
"Hey! Look at those space whales!" An alien pointed. "Oooh! Those are big."
"Wait a minute. Our DNA scanners can be blocked by another set of DNA," Crystal thought aloud. "You don't think Zim's ship is hiding behind one of those whales is it?"
"Please! Not even Zim is stupid enough to hide among a pod of space whales," Sgt. H 678 grunted.
Technically he was right. Zim wasn't hiding among the pod of space whales…
"This is just disgusting," Gaz grumbled as she looked out into the insides of the space whale. "Even by our standards."
"Don't worry. The second their ships leave I'll pilot us out of here before the gastric juices of the space whale digest this ship into tiny bits," Zim waved. "According to my sensors they are just starting up their hyperdrives and are about to leave this system."
"Wait if you can detect them how come they can't detect us?" Dib asked.
"Silence Dib Monkey! Zim is a genius!" Zim cackled.
"Zim is a moron who'd better shut up or else his big mouth will have them hone in on us!" Gaz got in his face.
"Shutting up now," Zim gulped. Then he looked at the console. "Oh. They're gone."
"And not a moment too soon!" Dib pointed at the outside of the ship. "Digestive acid is eating away at our hull!"
"And it's really painful! YEOWWWW!" The Computer shouted.
"You had to go all the way into the stomach didn't you?" Gaz snapped.
"Don't worry! I know a shortcut to the blowhole!" Zim snapped as he started to pilot the ship. Hang on!"
"AAAAAAAAAHHHHHHH!" Dib and Gir screamed.
"This is not going to end well, is it?" Gaz raised an eyebrow.
Fifteen minutes later…
SPLOOOSSSSSSHHHHHH!
"That was one of the most disgusting experiences of my life!" Dib yelled as the Doom Ship reentered outer space.
"One of?" Gaz gave him a look.
"Being bonded to Zim is Number One on my list," Dib explained.
"Okay. I'll accept that. But this is definitely Number Two!" Gaz yelled.
"In more sense than one…" The Computer groaned.
"Zim is a genius! Zim piloted the ship through a blowhole and…" Zim preened.
"THAT WASN'T A BLOWHOLE ZIM!" Gaz screamed at him.
"Yuck! Look at all the brown stuff on the outside of the ship," Gir made a face. "Yucky!"
"I wonder if Dib would really die if I just threw you out an air lock?" Gaz glared at Zim. "Or would he just be in agonizing pain for a long time? I'm starting to be interested in finding out!"
"Please don't be in a hurry to do that experiment," Dib groaned. Then he looked out the window. "Holy Sh…"
"We know what we're covered in Dib! Don't…" Gaz began. Then a huge shadow loomed over the ship. "Now what?"
"Huh?" Zim looked up and saw a huge green eel like creature with a huge mouth loom over the ship. "Oh that's just a Carpathian Space Eel. They often follow large pods of space whales feeding on their…"
"I think I just figured out what they eat!" Dib interrupted with a gulp.
Then the Carpathian Space Eel made a huge gulp.
Three minutes later inside the stomach of the space eel…
"Okay, this is just a slight setback," Zim looked around at the inside of the giant stomach. "But I think I can find a way out. At least the eel's digestive system is cleaning off the dookie from the ship so that's a bonus!"
"Eaten by three different creatures in less than two days," Dib groaned. "This has got to be some kind of record!"
"A record of stupidity," Gaz grumbled. "I knew life with you two would be in the toilet but this is a bit much!"