A/N: ...Are you guys alive? No one is commenting, lmao

It wasn't much farther to the old home of Ben Solo and Leia Organa. Han has mostly been off doing what he did best, smuggling, leaving the two of them alone in the little house in the foothills of Chandrila. Leia was gone more and more as Ben aged, leaving him in the care of sitters or on his own until she decided to send him to Luke.

The house was two floors of stone and brick and had a water wheel stagnant in a creek. But it was still in good shape—all the windows were there, undamaged, and the red front door didn't show any signs of a break-in. I cocked my head and smiled at the structure. It looked peaceful.

Ben wasn't as impressed. He glared at his old home and brushed back his black hair. "We didn't live here long. Han insisted on the solitude but he was never around, and Leia had increasing duties as an important Senator, so we moved to Hanna City. It's probably full of dust."

I shrugged and brushed past him. A veil of sadness hung across the house and grew stronger the closer I walked, until I touched the door handle and heard the vague sound of a child crying. It was like a memory, similar to what Anakin's lightsaber showed me. The lock clicked open without me even having to consider using the Force to do so.

It was dark inside and indeed layered with dust. Some furniture remained, covered in white sheets, but the place was almost totally empty. I walked up to the fireplace to draw my finger across the mantle and rubbed the dust between my fingers as I turned in a circle to look around the room.

Ben bent a little as he stepped inside, touching the doorway, wary dark eyes scanning the house. He reached out to me across our connection, seeking reassurance. I smiled to myself and let the heat emanate from within me to him and strolled to the stairs.

"What do you think we'll find here?" I asked.

"Leia kept a journal, and I'm sure Han hid some of his plunder around the house." Ben tapped the wooden floor with his boot, shrugging. "I'm not entirely sure if there will be anything of use. Mustafar will likely have something and we'll continue to scour the galaxy for Mortis."

"Mortis? What's that?"

Ben started up the stairs and as always, I scurried after him. They creaked under our weight. It didn't seem like the type of house Leia would live in but was well-suited for Han. I thought of a small, happy Ben rushing downstairs to go play in the sunshine and playing with his parents.

"A planet that may or may not exist," Ben said as we stepped onto the second floor. "I read about it in an ancient Sith text. Supposedly it is the origin of the Force itself."

I gasped and grabbed his arm. "That's the place we need to find, then!"

"It would be convenient, but like I said…" He glanced at my hand and raised an eyebrow. "It might not even exist. It's all conjecture."

He was relishing in my Light and I figured that touching him was an even exchange. I stepped closer, excited about this mysterious planet, and electricity buzzed across our bond again. Ben's eyes traveled a few centimeters down to my lips as I spoke then flickered back up to my eyes and he abruptly ripped out of my mind. I caught a faint thought of the way I smelled to him: like a warm beach and saltwater.

I took his arm in both hands and squeezed excitedly. "We could find our place in all this, Ben! Why the Force decided to connect the two of us and what it wants."

"Possibly, yes." He awkwardly nodded toward the hallway, averting my eyes. "For now, let's continue, since we have no idea where Mortis is."

Fair enough. I sighed and released his arm to continue down the hall, peering into the first bedroom we passed. Ben tentatively slipped back through the cracks in my mind and settled in the warmth again as he followed me inside to a room that looked like it had been frozen in time.

There was a small twin bed with blue sheets that had been mostly eaten by vermin next to an empty bookshelf. I turned and saw a dresser with the drawers pulled out. The closet door was open.

My room, Ben said through the bond.

"Oh." I walked over to the window to look out across Chandrila. "Looks like your mother kept it up for you. Did you ever intend on coming back?"

He didn't respond, but I sensed that he didn't. I traced a line through the dusty window and wished I had a home to go back to. Jakku wasn't exactly a comforting place.

Let the past die.

Ugh. I rolled my eyes at Ben's thought and turned to look up at him, still standing by the door.

"Moving on from Jakku doesn't mean I never have to find a place to call home. Besides, I have the Resistance."

He wanted to say more, but opted not to, and left the room without another word. I touched his soft bed sheets on the way out to the hall.

We moved on to the only other bedroom in the house, across from a gutted refresher. It was bigger than Ben's room and completely empty. He went back to tapping the floorboards with his foot and I slid down to the floor near the door. I picked dirt from under my fingernails for a moment before I remembered my stream water and eagerly popped the cap off my canteen to take a sip.

It was like nothing I'd ever tasted before. Earthy, like rain, but with a vague metallic taste and remnants of heat from Ben's lightsaber. I greedily drank half of it before I felt his amusement.

"What?" I asked defensively.

He smiled at the floor, still tapping. You're becoming a water connoisseur.

I capped the canteen again and folded my arms. "Just find the stuff."

Serendipitously, Ben's next tap echoed in a hollow tone. His dark eyes flickered to mine and I crawled over as he knelt by the loose floorboard to rap it with his knuckle. He outstretched his hand to use the Force, but I cleared my throat to catch his attention.

"I want to try," I said.

Ben sat cross-legged on the floor, gesturing at the spot. "By all means."

I copied his pose, the way Luke taught me to tap into the Force, and took a steadying breath. Ben rested his chin in his palm to watch me as I raised my arm and focused on the energy between the boards to rend them apart. It wasn't like lifting rocks. The panels were tight together and I had to shatter the bonds between them before I could lift the one I wanted to.

Slice them. Don't concern yourself with being gentle.

But Luke taught me—

Ben rolled his eyes. Precision use of the Force requires a different approach.

I breathed in deep again and instead of trying to do what Luke taught and using patience, I violently cut through the minute connections in the Force. The board ripped free and flew across the room, slamming into the opposite wall and shattering with a loud bang.

It sure shocked me. I covered my eyes and peered through the gaps at the splinters of board on the floor, then looked over at Ben. He reached into the hole in the floor to take out a small black book and waved it at me.

"That's the Dark Side of the Force," he said. "Impulse. Aggression. Power."

I marveled at my hands. The Dark Side sure seemed stronger than the Light. Ben ran his fingers across the journal for another minute before handing it to me.

I don't want to look, he said. …She's my mother.

"It won't be that bad," I laughed, opening up to the first page. "She probably talks about what a weird kid you were and how… Han…"

There was nothing I could hide from Ben with our connection open. He could see what I read; hear it reverberate in my head. The first entry was from Leia detailing discovering her pregnancy, and how excited she was to start a family with Han.

He'll stay home with us, she wrote. I think we'll name him Ben, after Obi-Wan. Maybe he'll follow in my footsteps and become a Senator one day, or a Jedi like Luke. Anything but smuggling.

Ben quietly shifted across the floor to sit beside me and leaned over my shoulder. His hand was planted behind me and I could feel his warm breath. He was still connected across our bond and I shivered. It was a lot of… closeness.

"Ben is growing bigger," I read out loud. "I've started seeing his thoughts sometimes, like small flickers of light. He thinks of me… he recognizes my voice, and Han's. He moves often, and the doctor said it's a good sign that he'll be a healthy baby." I swallowed hard. "Han is excited to meet him."

"Keep reading."

I turned to the next page, becoming a little emotional. "Ben will be here soon. He's a band of light and he likes when I sing to him. But… there's something else."

Ben grasped one side of the book and turned the page. It was blank for a bunch of pages, until…

There is darkness in him, Ben read in his head. Brief flashes that I barely noticed. Luke visited and listened to Ben, and he thinks someone is trying to manipulate him. Ben doesn't want to hurt me, but he moves even more, like he's scared. I wish I could hold him. I wish I could find the monster violating both of us and free him from his torment.

Someone had been after Ben before he was even born. He was frozen in place, staring at the page, and I turned to the next one with a trembling hand.

"Luke will take Ben when he's old enough. He can keep his heart from turning." Tears brimmed in my eyes and dripped on the pages. "I hope I'm doing the right thing for him. We can't find the person corrupting him, but perhaps my work as Senator will draw them out. Han is terrified of damaging Ben even more and he hasn't visited in weeks. I just want Ben to be happy and safe. I don't want him to suffer like my father did."

We both paused. Snoke had been violating Ben since his conception.

Our bond was suddenly blown wide open, and I was barraged by a blizzard of guilt and anguish and pain. I gasped and grabbed Ben's thigh to keep from collapsing on my side, but the electricity didn't jolt across our minds. He was trembling, staring with wide eyes at the journal.

Even the fire in me had a hard time burning through the ice in Ben at that point. I wrapped my arms around his neck and held on tightly, wincing as I struggled through the storm.

BEN! I screamed. BEN, YOU DIDN'T KNOW!

I could feel his soul bleeding from reopened scabs, drenching his inner storm in red. It… it was too much for me. I couldn't fix Ben Solo, even if I wanted to. Why had the Force made me responsible for saving him? Why was such an enormous responsibility to heal a traumatized, brutalized soul thrust upon me? I was just Rey of Jakku, nothing more.

It was like my doubts ignited the flame inside me. It waned, then waxed into a consuming inferno that swept through all of Ben, melting the ice, cauterizing the wounds shut again. Light emanated through him like a beacon and he suddenly came back to life with a wild gasp.

Sweat poured down his neck, where I had nestled my face. I was crying and the salt mixed together and dripped on my lips. Ben gulped for air and to my great surprise, he returned my embrace and pulled me into his lap. He was quivering. I felt tears on my scalp.

The fire withdrew back into me, but left smolders inside Ben. He prickled with cold and hugged me tighter, burying his face into my hair. Neither of us said anything. We didn't have to.