A/N: I told you I'd post again! Someone told me in a review a few weeks ago that they couldn't wait for Halloween. Well, here it is. I realize now (after I've edited this and everything), that I technically should have spelled it "Hallowe'en" but I'm just going to let it slide for now. Remember to Review/Favorite/Follow and give me honest opinions!

31 October - 1 November 1991

31 October 1991: Thursday

7:12 am

I've decided to carry you around with me today, diary. Everyone is so festive and I figure if they're going to do something fun, so am I. I feel like I've been slacking as far as writing about my life is concerned and that having you around will cheer me up. So, my goals for today:

• Try not to get overly annoyed with people celebrating the holiday. Even if they're just celebrating, because they're getting out of class early.
• Be helpful in class, rather than scornful. As both Seamus and Ron told me this weekend that I'm not very fun to work with, I'm going to strive to prove them wrong by being extra sweet.
• Talk to Lavender and Parvati about anything except lessons.
• Write Mum and Dad to say Happy Halloween.

I feel kind of bad, because I haven't written to my parents enough since my birthday. There really hasn't been much to tell them, other than stuff about my good grades. I might, erm, bend the truth a bit today. Tell them I've made a couple of friends. Too bad Lavender and Parvati don't feel the same way.

9:36 am

Sitting outside of Professor Flitwick's classroom waiting on Charms to begin. He promised us that today we'll be covering the Hovering Charm, which is exciting, because I already know I can do it properly. Still, he also said we're working in pairs. I just hope I don't have to work with Seamus again, because he's useless. Or Ron, because he dislikes me so much. Or Harry, because he's starting to get a really big head on his shoulders. Or Neville, because he avoids me so much now that I'm sure he would rather work with anyone else.

Maybe I can talk Professor Flitwick into pairing me with him? I have no problem with working with the teacher.

11:03 am

I'm officially late to Herbology and it's all Ron Weasley's fault!

I HATE HIM!

It's just my luck that I got paired to work on the Hover Charm with him today in our first lesson. I knew I'd have to work with someone I can't stand! Anyway, I tried to make the most of it, remembering my promise to myself that I wouldn't be difficult to work with and that I would be helpful. I told him he could go first when we got the feather we were supposed to be charming. I figured it was nice of me, but he rolled his eyes and set to work, flailing his wand about all wrong and pronouncing the incantation like his mouth was full of marshmallows.

'Wingirdium leviasa!' he said, stressing the wrong syllables and pronouncing the second word all wrong.

'You're saying it wrong,' I politely corrected. 'It's Wing-gar-dium levi-o-sa. Make the "gar" nice and long.'

'You do it then if you're so clever!'

There was a hatred in his eyes that I hadn't seen since the day when he defended me to Draco and Harry found himself on the Gryffindor Quidditch team. I fought the urge to snap back at him, certain that if I did, I'd ruin all of my goals for the day.

Rolling up my sleeves, I said, 'Wingardium leviosa!' I swished and flicked my wand and within seconds, our feather was floating up toward the ceiling. I tried not to gloat, not to glance at him and look smug. But Professor Flitwick's praise brought a smile to my lips and to my right I heard Ron slam his wand down on the table.

That's where it stayed for the rest of class. Ron didn't even try to perform the spell anymore, not caring that he earned himself extra homework for the weekend. His ears were bright red and when I said, 'I was just trying to help, you know,' he turned his body so that he didn't have to look at me in his peripherals.

I thought that was bad enough—it put me in a foul temper—but what happened after class threw me over the edge. I walked out of the room behind Harry and Ron, not because I wanted to, but because that was just how we filtered out. I didn't expect to overhear them talking about me, but it couldn't be helped.

'I hate her,' Ron snapped as soon as he freed himself from the throng of classmates lined up at the door. 'It's no wonder nobody can stand her. She's a nightmare, honestly.'

I wish now that my reaction would have been a little less obvious. I'm certain he felt me brush past him, that he saw me running down the hall toward the girls' loo, and that he heard me sniffle. The worst thing in the world is knowing the person who hurt you can see what they've done. I really wish I wouldn't have given him the satisfaction.

That's why I can't go to Herbology. Or why I don't think I'll return to the Gryffindor common room until after everyone's at dinner. I just can't be festive right now—I can't stop crying.

12:12 pm

Dear Mum and Dad,

Hogwarts is not the paradise I dreamed it would be. I don't belong here—the students are just as spiteful and mean as they were in Muggle school. I don't know what it is about me that makes everyone dislike me so much, but it's like I'm universally hated. I can't do or say anything, even if it's meant in kindness.

I may be magical and I may be surrounded by people like me, but I'll just never belong.

I miss you so much.

Hermione

12:25 pm

Obviously I'm not going to send that last thing I wrote to my parents. I'm sure they wouldn't want to know how truly awful it is for me here.

Oh dear, I'm crying again.

12:48 pm

Dear Mum and Dad,

I know it's been a while since I've written, but I want you to know that I'm doing spectacularly! Everyone here is SO nice! Not a single person has called me bossy or unlikeable! It's so different than Muggle school that I find myself not missing the Muggle world at all! Isn't that great?!

Much love,

Hermione!

12:54 pm

Oh, dear, that last version of my letter to my parents reads like something Lavender would write for History of Magic to make it more interesting. Far too many exclamation points. Mum and Dad will never buy that I'm having fun if I write like that.

Still in the loo. A lot of people have come in, but none of them were for me, so I've just stayed holed up in my stall. It's kind of nice to have a place where I can just cry about being so alone.

1:19 pm

I had just started crying again around one o'clock when I heard the bathroom door swing open. I tried to stifle my cries as I had been doing all day, but I accidentally let out a squeak.

'Hermione? Are you in here?' Parvati's voice called out.

I wanted to remain silent, but they must have heard the squeak, so I said very shakily, 'Yes. I'm fine!'

'You missed Herbology!' Lavender called as though I didn't already know it. 'We took notes for you! Why don't you come out, and we'll all go to the library?'

I don't know why, but my heart soared at the idea. Parvati and Lavender, though the complete opposite of me, had actually cared that I missed class. They were offering me a chance to get to know them, which was more than they'd done all year.

But I was worried what people (specifically Ron) would think if I left the sanctity of the loo. What if he saw my tear-stained face? He'd know just how badly he hurt me, and I didn't want that. It was already bad enough that I had hidden from him all day in a bathroom.

'Erm, I don't think I'm quite ready to leave yet,' I mumbled, my bottom lip quivering as I relived that horrid moment when I overheard what he said about me.

'You don't have to!' Parvati quickly said. 'Do you want to talk about it?'

I don't know why, but hearing those kind words sent me into hysterics and I blubbered like a baby. Leaning against the door to my stall I said, 'N-no! You…can j-just…ask Ron about it!'

'Oh gosh, I knew he did something horrible to her in class,' Lavender stage-whispered to Parvati. 'He's such a pig!'

They stayed with me for a few more minutes trying to coax me out of the loo, but eventually gave up, slipping the Herbology notes under the stall (written in a bright pink ink that's rather difficult to make out) and letting me know that they would be in our dormitory if I wanted company.

I can't believe I'm about to say this, but I'm thinking of taking them up on the offer. I'm so sick of being the odd girl out. I just want to belong somewhere.

2:00 pm

Finished copying the notes. It took a long time, because I was busy deciphering Lavender's writing. It was really nice of them to bring them to me like that. And to invite me to our dormitory for some girl-time. Still, I can't help but think maybe they're taking temporary pity on me. What if they're no longer willing to be friends with me? They do tend to gravitate toward drama. What if this time tomorrow, Ron and I are friends and all is forgiven?

Yeah…as if that would ever happen.

2:21 pm

Dear Mum and Dad,

I'd be lying if I said things at Hogwarts have been going well, but I'd also be lying if I said they were absolutely horrible. Classes have been fun, challenging, and also easy for me to manage. But I haven't made many connections with my classmates. The majority of them think I'm downright annoying, because I'm so smart. In fact one of them today—a despicable boy named Ron Weasley—hurt my feelings so bad that I missed Herbology, because I was crying so much.

But like I've said, it's not so bad. My dormmates Lavender and Parvati showed up and let me copy their notes and even invited me back to our dormitory. I think I might do it, too. I need friends, and they seem nice enough, if a little dense.

Don't worry about me. Things really are starting to look up.

Love,

Hermione

2:33 pm

Well that was short-lived. I was just preparing to leave my stall—breathing deeply, wiping the stains from my face, adjusting the bag on my shoulder—when a couple of noisy Hufflepuff first years entered.

'I still can't believe Hermione Granger didn't come to class today,' someone I recognised as Hannah Abbot said.

'I know!' Susan Bones breathed. 'She never misses a class!'

'I wonder why she wasn't there,' Hannah mused.

Susan snickered. 'Lavender said it had something to do with Ron Weasley. She said she and Parvati invited her to spend time with them, but she wouldn't stop crying.'

'I bet they're relieved.'

'She certainly seemed so. Hermione's just…ugh. Lavender said she was glad she didn't have to pretend to like classes for the afternoon to cheer her up.'

And they continued on like that for several minutes. It was the second-worst thing I've ever overheard, the first being Ron earlier today.

So it seems Lavender and Parvati really did just take pity on me. They don't want to be my friend at all. That's just brilliant.

4:00 pm

Only one more hour until the Halloween feast begins. I'm going to stay in here until six, when I'm certain everyone will be at the feast. Then I'll sneak out, go up to my dormitory and close the curtains around my four-poster. I don't need dinner or anything like that. I don't have the heart to eat today anyway. And it would feel wrong to pretend to enjoy the festivities when I know everyone in Gryffindor hates me.

Oh dear, my goals aren't really panning out, are they? I haven't been helpful, I'm annoyed with everyone for caring about Halloween so much, I refuse to talk to Lavender or Parvati ever again, and I still haven't found a good way to say Happy Halloween to Mum and Dad. This is terribly frustrating.

4:46 pm

Dear Mum and Dad,

Happy Halloween!

Love,

Hermione

5:13 pm

I can hear crowds of people filtering past my bathroom, which means soon I'll be able to leave. I'm actually starting to feel quite nervous about it. You know how sometimes when you're waiting for something to happen, or you know you have to do something, you get queasy and start living out the worst scenarios in your mind? That's what I'm doing right now. What if I run into Ron in the common room? What if Lavender and Parvati see me and pretend to like me again? What if the three of them decide to tease me and I end up crying again?

Oh no…I've got to find some way to take my mind off of this. Perhaps I'll rewrite that letter?

5:57 pm

Dear Mum and Dad,

Happy Halloween! Sorry it's been so long since I last wrote, but honestly, nothing all that interesting has happened. I'm doing well in class and I'm learning a lot more than I ever imagined I would. There's a huge difference between reading about magic and actually practising it.

I'm still struggling to find my place among the students and I've had more than one setback. It's probably because I'm in a house that isn't renowned for its book-smarts. I just have to bear in mind (and I want you to remember, too) that I chose this for myself. I should have known it would be difficult and I can't give up. I'm just going to be myself and eventually, people will accept me for who I am.

How is everything at home? Have you seen Samantha since I left? If you do, tell her I said hello and that I miss her, will you?

Love,

Hermione

6:01 pm

All right…I'm leaving the stall. Wish me luck.

1 November 1991: Friday

12:03 am

I cannot stress to you how bizarre the events of the last six hours have been. I can't sleep, because I can hardly believe all that has happened. I nearly died (again, though this time it wasn't the three-headed dog), my life was saved by the last people I ever expected to come to my rescue, I lied to Professor McGonagall, lost house points, and am no longer friendless.

My mind is racing and I just want to explode with joy at the outcome of this Halloween, but I can't get ahead of myself. I must start at the beginning.

I took a good long look at myself in the mirror, adjusting my hair, which had become extra frizzy and matted from some of my stray tears that ended up in it. I made sure my eyes weren't puffy and that my nose wasn't red. I was just about to gather my courage to leave the loo when I heard the door slam shut and a foul odour greeted my nose. I spun around on the spot and let out the most horrendous scream ever.

Standing before me was an enormous mountain troll. I recognised it immediately from Fantastic Beasts and Where to Find Them. I also remembered what I had read about them—that they're deadly, even to fully trained wizards and witches. And here I was, trapped in a loo with one. I was going to die.

I took several steps back, tripping over the hem of my robes and backed into the wall, where I laid, petrified. The troll was knocking sinks off the wall with its massive club, advancing on me and preparing to squash me like the porcelain that was now flying everywhere. The door swung open again, and in burst Harry Potter and Ron Weasley, their faces ghostly white as they beheld the sight of the troll.

'Confuse it!' Harry ordered Ron. The noise made the troll stop and it slowly turned back to them. My heart hammered in my chest, and I desperately wanted to jump up and do something, but I was so shaky and scared that all I could do was whimper. The troll ignored me now, deciding Harry looked more fun to bludgeon.

'Oy, pea-brain!' Ron bellowed. He picked up a pipe from the floor and hurled it toward the troll, knocking it hard in the shoulder. The troll changed direction and lumbered toward Ron.

Harry seized the opportunity to rush toward me. He grabbed me by the hand and begged me to run, but I couldn't. Ron was still in danger, was backing up toward the opposite wall, where he'd be just as trapped as I was, and Harry and I were powerless to stop the inevitable. Now he was going to die, and it would be all my fault.

'Ron!' I squeaked as I brought a hand up to my mouth, but I don't think Harry heard me. There was a lot of noise as Ron persisted in his yelling and as metal pipes and faucets skidded across the tile floor. I could see Harry calculating something in his mind for the briefest of seconds, and then he was gone, dropping my hand and charging toward the troll's back with an almighty yell.

Within seconds he had climbed up onto the troll's shoulders and jammed his wand up its nose. The troll let out a pained sort of yell and flailed around. His feet crunched on the broken porcelain and Ron dodged one of his arms by only a fraction of an inch. I, meanwhile, sank lower on the wall and watched in horror. I've never felt like less of a Gryffindor in my whole life.

That same calculating look that Harry had been wearing only moments before stole over Ron's face and within seconds he pulled out his wand, pointed it at the club in the troll's left fist and shouted clearly, 'Wingardium leviosa!' He swished and flicked, and the club rose out of the troll's hand, levitated for a moment, and then came cracking down onto his skull.

There was a momentary grunt from the troll, but then it toppled over with a thud. Harry pulled himself out from under the creature, shaking but otherwise alright. Ron simply stood there, dumbstruck.

'Is it—dead?' I finally asked. I was keenly aware of how useless I had been and how much I owed these boys now and I needed to say something to cut into the horrible silence that followed the troll's collapse.

Harry told me he thought it was just knocked out and bent down to pick his wand out of the troll's nose. But I barely noticed his complaint about the troll's bogies. I couldn't keep my eyes from Ron in that moment. I was—still am, actually—amazed by him. Up until tonight, I always thought he was rather incompetent at magic. Not only did he show he was capable of learning something (something I helped to teach him, no less), but he was also so daring and strong that he could bring down a mountain troll! And, well…he saved our lives…

I didn't have long to muse about it, though. Within seconds, Professors McGonagall, Snape, and Quirrell came charging into the bathroom, their faces just as white as Ron's and Harry's had been earlier.

'What on earth were you thinking of?!' McGonagall demanded. 'You're lucky you weren't killed! Why aren't you in your dormitory?!' Her malevolent eyes flashed between Harry and Ron, intentionally straying away from mine, and I knew what she was thinking. I was not to blame…I couldn't be to blame, because I was a good student. I was cautious and clear-headed, while these boys were reckless and courageous.

In that moment, I felt two things: fear for Ron and Harry (they would have been expelled for sure) and outrage for myself. I didn't want to be the girl who was stereotyped for being good all the time. I didn't want McGonagall to look at me as a girl who didn't take risks. It was a risk just to ask the hat to place me into Gryffindor! It was unrealistic of her to expect me to not break a single rule. Not to mention that Harry and Ron had just saved my life. I couldn't let them get in trouble for doing what I wouldn't have been brave enough to do.

And so I spoke up. 'Please Professor McGonagall,' I begged. 'They were looking for me. I went looking for the troll, because I—I thought I could deal with it on my own—you know, because I've read all about them. If they hadn't found me, I'd be dead now.' I explained all about what they had done and in the corner of my eye, I saw Ron finally drop his wand.

'Well, in that case…Miss Granger, you foolish girl! How could you think of tackling a mountain troll on your own?!' she snapped at me. I don't know why, but it felt good to actually be reprimanded for something, especially since I was certain I had just gotten Ron and Harry out of trouble.

Five points were taken from Gryffindor and I was told to go back to the common room before Harry and Ron were dismissed. On my way back, I felt light. I had just survived a horrible ordeal and was saved by two people I had been certain hated me. And, in a way, I had just saved them. I can't imagine the sort of punishment Professor McGonagall would have given them if I hadn't intervened.

As I walked into the common room, people stared at me with curiosity. I must have looked frightening, all covered in dust and water that had sprayed up from the broken taps. I paid them no heed though (except for Percy, who demanded I tell him if Ron and Harry were all right). Instead, I replayed the image of Ron performing the Hovering Charm on the club, of the shock on his face as he realised he had just done what no one his age had.

Somehow, I knew that this meant a lot for us. I knew we couldn't go back to hating each other. You don't just save someone's life and then pretend it never happened. So, as they walked into the portrait hole, I jumped up from the stool I had pulled over and approached them anxiously. Then, simultaneously, the three of us all muttered, 'Thanks.'

We spent the rest of the night with each other, just talking and eating some of the Halloween feast that had been sent up to the common room. They explained that the feast in the Great Hall had been interrupted by Professor Quirrell, who had barged in, panting with exertion, and stammered to Professor Dumbledore that a troll was in the dungeon.

'But Harry remembered that you were in the bathroom as we were heading up to the common room and we doubled back to get you,' Ron said through a mouthful of pudding.

I cocked my head to one side, confused. 'How did Harry know that I was in the bathroom?'

'Oh, Lavender and Parvati,' Harry clarified. 'They said you were in there all day…erm…crying.'

Ron's ears went red and I could tell by just looking at him that he was sorry. I could feel the heat rising to my face, but I waved it all off. 'No matter. I'm over it now.'

'You sure?' Ron asked. 'Because I really am…sorry.' He said the last word in a whisper, as though afraid someone would overhear his apology. I wanted to cross my arms with annoyance, but I felt it would be the wrong way to start a friendship.

'Absolutely. You did save my life, you know. I don't think I could ever really get mad at you again!'

Ron snickered. 'Yeah, we'll see how long that lasts. You were worth it, anyway.'

And ever since then, I've been playing those words ('You were worth it, anyway') over and over again in my head. Do they really think it was worth battling a troll for me? Harry didn't contradict it. They must really like me…or at least accept me. This almost seems too good to be true, but I know it's real. Harry invited me to go with him and Ron to Hagrid's hut tomorrow. Hagrid, the gamekeeper, is Harry's first friend in the wizarding world, the person who told him he was a wizard. This must mean real friendship, right? I don't think anyone besides Ron has been invited to visit Hagrid with him.

I can't believe how wonderful Halloween turned out in the end. I have friends! I'm not alone! And Ron will never say another hateful thing to me again, because I can't imagine him coming up with a better apology than saving my life.