SPOV:
It had been a couple hours since Joe forced Ranger to leave. I knew one of the guys was still outside the room because every time Joe left I could hear them exchanging words; I couldn't make out which of the guys it was. The doctor tried to administer some more pain medication, but I couldn't take the foggy drugged haze they put me in. I had to stay alert. Everything from the past week was playing over in my head, and I remembered Riley's warning, he would be back. I wasn't ready to think about what had happened at the warehouse so I pushed those images from my head. But the pain was a constant reminder that I was damaged goods. Damaged goods, because I had believed in a made up super hero. I remember every single word of that phone conversation Riley had with Ranger. I laughed humorlessly to myself, I was so worried when I woke up that Ranger would never forgive me, that I had ruined everything…so worried that I would never get the chance to tell him that I loved him. When in all reality it was all a lie, a façade. I was nothing more to him than entertainment and a good lay. He not only allowed me to be….I couldn't even think the word…..he not only allowed "it" to happen, he encouraged it!
"Cupcake? Are you ok?" Joe asked sitting up straighter in his chair.
"Did you know?" I asked.
"Know what Steph?"
"Did you know that Ranger was running guns and selling drugs?" I needed answers.
"Stephanie, you shouldn't be worrying about stuff like this right now. Let's focus on getting better."
"Joe did you know?" He blew out a sigh.
"Cupcake there is a lot I know that I can't say. I wish I could, but I can't, it's part of the job."
"I need answers." I looked pleadingly at him.
"I can't talk about it. I do know this, as much as you thought something was going on and that Manoso cared for you in some way, you were wrong. He doesn't care for anyone but himself." Joe sighed, placing his hand in mine. "I love you Stephanie, I hope you can see that now, I would have never let something like this happen. As soon as I found out that he was allowing the FBI to use you to lure Bradshaw out, I tried to get you out, but my hands were tied and Manoso assured me that he would keep you safe."
"He was working with the FBI?"
"Bradshaw has been on the terror list for quite some time now. Somehow he has been able to slip in and out of the country undetected; recently he's been a ghost, no one had seen or heard from him in a couple years. So when he showed up here and was seen with you, the FBI was all over it."
None of this was an accident. It was hard enough stomaching the fact the person I had come to love wasn't the person I knew at all, but to find out that I had been nothing but a pawn was absolutely devastating.
"Where is Ranger?"
"Not a fucking clue. His loyal following hasn't left though. Tank won't leave the door and Brown hasn't left the nurses desk."
"You won't let them in right? Especially not him."
"No Cupcake, I won't let him in."
"I want to go home."
"The doctors want to monitor you some more. As soon as you are able to leave I'll get you out of here. I think it's best if you came and stayed with me." He paused. "Steph, there is something you need to know. Bradshaw is still out there and the FBI seems to think he hasn't left the area yet. If it comes down to it, the FBI will place you in a safe house until all this is finished."
"You said he's been on the loose for years….I can't hide forever."
"Let's not barrow trouble, I said they thought he was still in the area, they aren't sure, it's just speculation." Both of us were quiet for a bit. "Stephanie have you thought about quitting all of this? Settling down some?"
"Joe, I can't have this conversation right now."
"Cupcake…you got lucky this…."
"I got lucky? I got lucky? Really? You considered being kidnapped and beaten and…" I still couldn't bring myself to say it. I pulled my hand away from his. Just the thought of being touched made me feel panicky.
"Stephanie, I didn't mean it that way. I know this wasn't your fault, but this is a dangerous field…" I curled my fingers around my cast when he tried to hold my hand again.
"Joe stop, just stop. I just want to be left alone." I turned my head toward the wall.
"Ok Cupcake, but you need to start thinking about your future. This isn't any way to live."
I heard a cell phone ring just outside my door and Tank's deep voice. After a moment there was a knock on the door.
"Morelli, I need to speak with you." Tank said without entering.
"Not interested in anything you or your fucking boss has to say."
"Then I suggest you call the station." I wondered what could be going on that Tank would tell Joe to call work. Had something else happened? Maybe they had caught Riley? Then I remembered what he had said….I should learn from Ranger's mistakes and choose my friends carefully….the ones closest to you were always the ones to get hurt.
"Joe where are my parents?" I asked starting to get panicked.
"They are at home, they called about an hour ago."
"Call the station, something must have happened."
"Cupcake, if something happened someone would have called….." Joe's phone rang. He picked it up. "Morelli." He answered. He listened intently to whoever was calling. I knew something had happened when he glanced up at me. "And they are sure it wasn't accidental?" He was quiet again. "Anything salvageable?" He got out of his chair and started for the door.
"Joe wait!" He held up his finger as if to say that he'd be right back, and step outside. I heard him say, "Are the fed's going to send some security over…." Before the door clicked shut.
"Tank!" If Joe wasn't going to answer my questions, I would get someone else to. Tank opened the door without saying anything. "What's going on?" He looked at me as if debating if he should say anything. "I have a right to know. I've been kept in the dark long enough." He nodded.
"Your apartment building burned down about an hour ago."
"And they don't think it was an accident?"
"Defiantly not accidental, looks like it started in your apartment." Immediately I thought of Rex.
"Rex?" Tank just shook his head.
"Get the fuck out." Morelli told Tank coming back into the room.
"Joe what's going on? Is everyone ok?"
"You just had to go and worry her didn't you? Get out." Joe ground out.
"Stephanie, Bradshaw is still in the area. Ric doesn't think the Fed's have your best interest in mind, if you would let him…." Joe gave Tank a shove, going chest to chest with him.
"What the fuck did you not understand about GET THE FUCK OUT?"
"Back off Morelli. You know as well as I do that they are planning to use Stephanie as bait again."
My head started to pound and my chest felt tight. I couldn't do it again. I had tried keeping the images of what happened from my mind, but thoughts of Riley coming back brought them all rushing to the surface. I remember how his hands felt on my skin, the shame and embarrassment of being exposed and of course the horrible pain. Just the thought of anyone touching me again after that made me want to vomit.
"Dumb asshole, there is no reason to get Stephanie all worked up. The fed's are sending people over to stay with her until she can be released and placed in a safe house. Unlike fucking Manoso, I'm going to make sure nothing happens to her." Joe came over the bed and reached down to hold my hand.
"Don't touch me!" I gasped trying to catch my breath.
"Cupcake?" He asked confused. It wasn't Joe, I just couldn't stand to have anyone touching me right now. Bobby joined Tank in the doorway.
"Bombshell, I know that you don't want us in here, but the doctors are on their way in, so unless you want a room full of people, you need to chill out." The thought of people coming into my room, especially nurses and doctors who would want to poke and prod me, made it harder to calm down. With images of Riley's attack fresh in my mind I couldn't rationalize that no one here would harm me. I just had to get out. I sat up trying to swing my legs over the side of the bed. My ribs screamed in protest.
"Stephanie you can't get out of bed." Joe placed his hands on my shoulders trying to get me to lie back down, I flipped at the contact. Everything after that was a blur. People flooded my room, I vaguely remember pulling out my IV when the doctors tried to administer medication through it. I knew my behavior must have seemed crazy to them, but I couldn't stay here anymore. I couldn't stand to be touched, or lied to and I couldn't sit here and wait for Riley to come back. Especially not that.