--

It was just after lunch when Colonel Carter summoned him to her office. John was surprised it had taken her that long. Surely the security guards on duty in the 'Gate Room last night had reported what had happened. Maybe even some of Teyla's neighbours had also reported the shouting. He couldn't remember seeing anyone in the hallways, but then he hadn't been exactly thinking clearly.

This morning he had woken from fitful dreams, now with an added detail of her leaving him, her body wrapped in that Athosian blanket. He woke deeply ashamed of the way he had handled the situation, but still feeling pretty justified. The morning wore on and the obvious absence of her presence in the City began to make him feel even worse. There was still another day or so of the height of the reaction to get through and she was not here to help. He knew he deserved her abandonment and that he had treated her shamefully, but he couldn't quite feel completely sorry yet. He knew once the reaction completely faded he would, but right now the needs of his body were still very apparent and were made even more so fuelled with the fresh memories of what he had felt from her last night.

As he entered Carter's office his gaze fell to the sheet glass window to the right which he had slammed his fist through during that brief conversion over a year ago. Pulling himself away from those memories and the possible parallels to his recent behaviour, he sat down rather sheepishly.

"Colonel." Sam greeted him, moving to sit down in the chair beside him; indicating to him that this was a less than formal conversation. "I understand there was somewhat of an incident last night?"

"It was a private disagreement, Colonel. I apologise to letting it get out of hand." He replied reasonably honestly. "It won't happen again."

Sam nodded in acceptance. "I understand Kanaan and Teyla left for New Athos last night?"

John nodded, trying not to wince as he replayed the memory of her turning her back on him and striding away. "She should be back with Kanaan later today."

"Kanaan has already visited his sister this morning and she was well enough to return with him. He conveyed a message from Teyla that she would be staying on New Athos for a couple of days." Sam's eyes searched his.

A renewed hit of cold abandonment chilled him. She would really stay away for the rest of the reaction? Well, maybe he deserved as much.

"Colonel I understand that you have been going through a difficult time of late. Though Doctor Beckett has not told me all the specifics, I can tell that this situation is putting considerable pressure on both you and Teyla. If it is getting to the point where she has to leave in the middle of the night, I feel I need to say something. It does not look good for Atlantis' premier team to be at odds, and certainly not for the military commander of this Base to be caught in a shouting match in the City. Now I know this was a one off and I believe you, but I suggest that you deal with this Colonel."

John greeted the dress down as she had intended it; informal, yet clear. He nodded, his eyes lowered.

"Rodney is still hard at work on that new device; to tell you the truth I don't think he has a clue what it is." Sam joked. "Why don't you take the next day or so off to sort this all out?"

John looked up at her, feeling the weight of his guilt. She was right of course. "I might take a trip then," he said, "perhaps to New Athos."

"I think that may be a good idea, Colonel."

--

An hour later John stepped through the Stargate. It felt strange going off-world without his team, or without his P90, but he didn't think it would present the right image to be carrying a weapon when he arrived.

As he walked the half hour or so trip to the Athosian camp he tried to work out what he would say to her, but it all sounded too trite. I'm sorry, was all he could come up with. With his body and senses still heightened he made the distance to the camp in half the usual time and it was unfortunate that the first person he met was Kanaan.

"Colonel Sheppard?" Kanaan's tone was less than welcoming and held a certain amount of threat to it. Kanaan had lost the nervous expression from last night, having recovered enough to feel suitably annoyed with John in return. Besides this was his turf.

John approached with a weak smile on his face. "Kanaan." As he came to a rest opposite the man he struggled with what to say. "Look I'm sorry about what happened last night. I've not been feeling too well of late-"

"Teyla told me." Kanaan interrupted him. "She said you were sick and not behaving as you would normally. She said you would never had said or thought those things normally." He edged closer to John, arms crossed over his chest.

John was drawn into the staring match against his better judgement, but he couldn't let himself look away from the challenge

"I think differently however." Kanaan continued.

John knew the man was looking for clues from him as he stared him down. John was not in any mood to tolerate that and felt his own temper rising once again. He worked yet again to manage his natural inclinations during his reactions. "Regardless of what you think, it is true. I regret the way I behaved last night and nothing has been going on between Teyla and me."

Kanaan lifted his eyebrow, making his doubt clear, before he looked finally away from John. "Whatever the truth of that, it is no longer my concern."

A short sharp thrill went through John at that and he worked very hard to not show his delight to Kanaan. So he and Teyla had broken up. John wondered exactly why? "I'm sorry to hear that." John replied attempting to sound honest.

Kanaan pursed his lips in a very doubtful expression, but before he could reply there was a shout behind them. Both men turned to see a group of Athosians gathering on the edge of the camp all talking worriedly. Their conversation forgotten John and Kanaan hurried over.

Two young Athosian kids were being wrapped up in blankets. Both looked pale and exhausted, and one had blood smeared on his hands and cheeks. Halling arrived beside John moments later.

"What has happened?" Halling demanded.

One woman looked up from tending the blooded child. "Alac almost fell from the cliff over the river."

Halling moved to the child, apparently Alac, and crouched down before him. "You know not to play so far from the camp." The child looked down, tears filling his eyes.

"He said Teyla saved him, but she fell down into the river and was swept away." The woman continued.

Horrid images of Teyla being swept away by a raging river swirled through John's mind. "What river?"

Halling stood. "It has happened several times to others. She will have been washed down the main stream line that empties into a large lake beyond the grass plains. We must go there now."

Athosians jumped into action, pulling on coats and a group of about ten, Halling and Kanaan at the front, set out towards the forest. John scurried along behind the two men worry and fear dogging his steps. She couldn't be hurt!

"We could go back and contact Atlantis. If we bring a Jumper through we could find her quickly enough."

"We do not need your help, Colonel. We will find her well enough." Kanaan spat over his shoulder at John.

Halling looked from Kanaan to John with a query in his eyes, but did not ask. Instead he said "It has happened several times, Sheppard. Do not concern yourself. We will head out over the grasslands to the lake and we will most likely find her sitting on the shore as we have all the others this has happened to. It is not too long a walk from here. By the time you returned from Atlantis with a Jumper we will have found her."

Doubt mixed with worry in John's mind. He trusted Halling's judgement, but his urge was to go get help. But then as he looked around at the hardy and strong Athosian people walking out to find their former leader, he guessed there was enough help here.

"Okay. It alright if I tag along?"

--

Teyla woke to the late afternoon sun. Her head ached and she felt chilled to the bone. She looked around disorientated, what had happened?

Memories returned quickly enough. She had pulled the child up from the cliffs edge, but her grip had been slipping, the soil wet beneath her. She had had just enough time to shove the boy past her shoulder to safety as she began to lose her hold on the cliff edge. She had watched the boy being pulled away by his friend, as the earth gave out beneath her and she fell down towards the water.

It had been so cold and somewhere along the way she had hit her head. She could only remember the churning waters pushing her and pulling her under. The flow had been too strong and the water too cold and she had had to allow herself to be washed further down the river, bumping against rocks and scrabbling for a purchase on the clay coated banks. After what felt like a lifetime she had eventually found a good hold on a tree root and laboriously hauled herself out of the chilled water. She had crawled on her belly up and away from the river and had then apparently passed out.

She looked now at the darkening forest around her and recognised nothing. Sitting up slowly she tested the bump on the side of her head. The headache was distant and there didn't appear to be any more blood flowing. But, she was freezing cold in her saturated clothes. She needed to get warm before anything else.

She pulled herself up on uninjured legs, thanking the Ancestors for her lucky escape and set about gathering dry pieces of wood. The fire took longer to start than normal, as water kept dripping from her sleeves onto the growing embers. She pulled off the heavy coat and laid it over a large rock. She would dry quicker this way anyway. The fire grew under her care and she finally sat down to gather her breath and thoughts.

Shivering she sat as close to the small flames as she could. The sun was behind the trees now, but there would still be enough light to start moving back to camp. However, she still did not recognise any of the landscape around her. She guessed she had been swept further down stream than she had ever been on foot before. She was unclear as to which direction to even head in, so she would just have to follow the river back. It was early spring, but once the night fell it would be very cold. She had not spent much time on New Athos during the winter months, but knew even early spring was extremely cold at night, especially if she couldn't get dry.

She would rest and dry out by the fire first, so she leant over the growing fire and willed the warmth into her body.

--

They had found where she had fallen. John had been very glad to discover that what the Athosians referred to as 'cliffs' were not as high as he had feared. But, as he looked back at them as they followed the river away, he couldn't help but see the rocks poking up from the water below. She may have been hurt during the fall.

He followed the fast running water past him to where it hit against a massive boulder. Apparently more resistant to water erosion than the rest of the bank it had resisted the onslaught and had caused the river to split into two; one much larger part flowing off to the right, which the Athosians had set off following. As John passed the boulder his eyes fell to the other smaller part of the river that diverged off to the other left.

"Couldn't she have been washed down the other way?" He called out to the retreating Athosian backs.

Kanaan turned to look back at John obviously still very annoyed at him. "No. People always get washed down to the right. The flow is stronger and the under currents always pull people and drift wood that way. She will have washed into the lake, Colonel." With that he turned back to follow the rest of the group.

John looked back at the divergence one last time as he passed it. He guessed the Athosians knew their world better than he. They had set a quick, but steady pace, but it was not fast enough for John. He wanted to run madly after her, to find her now. What if she was dying somewhere down there in the lake? But, he held himself back, knowing it was the reaction heightening his already over taxed need to be near her. He couldn't go running off when he didn't know where to go. Halling would be right; she would be sitting by the lake, or better yet they would meet her as she walked back towards camp.

John's eyes fell to the river where it parted again. He remembered falling into a river when he was a kid. He had been on a very rare family holiday and his father had taken him and his brother fishing. John had slipped on a wet bank and fell into the fast freezing water. He could remember the suffocating pull of the water's currents, the panic he felt and the deep penetrating cold. Had she gone through that? He imagined Teyla would have had more mental focus than he had had as a young scared boy. She would have found a way out of the water and to safety. Right? If only he could help her somehow.

He stopped suddenly. The strangest feeling passed through him. He looked back towards the left hand divergence of the river and followed it with his eyes to where it disappeared into the forest. He took a deep breath; the air fresh, but chilled, filling his lungs. His heightened senses buzzed and his skin tingled. He walked back to the boulder and stared out at the distant forest. Flashes of images came to him of dark trees and a chilled body. He could smell burning twigs and damp skin. Teyla.

His body sung suddenly with renewed purpose. She needed him. He rocked back onto his heels and raced towards the river, leaping with his new agility and speed up and over where the river diverged. He landed solidly on the other side, and raced down along the left smaller river towards the forest. Distantly he was aware of someone shouting his name, but he ignored it. He would find her.

--

TBC