Disclaimer: Still not own nor gain any financial means from the characters or the story.
Rating: R
Beta: Mist and Jessi
A/N: Thank you Mist and Jessi for helping me!
A Taste of Bittersweet Love Chapt; 7: Recollections of The Heart
The wind blew threw her long hair as Edward drove them into town to see a physician that Carlisle recommended for her pregnancy. Bella was slightly apprehensive about seeing a doctor outside of Carlisle because she didn't want to explain why the father wasn't involved. Her amnesia was frustrating as it was so adding headache to current heartache wasn't something she needed to add to a very frustrating situation.
Fifteen minutes after she returned the clipboard to the receptionist, she was called back in to meet with the doctor. Bella hesitantly walked towards the open door and then glanced back over her shoulder at Edward who looked totally out of his element. Her heart sunk as she watch the way he looked at the other couples in the room.
"Edward, you coming?" Bella knew it was selfish to ask him to be by her side but she was honestly nervous about this visit. She knew today they would do a sonogram to check on the health of her baby as well as give her a more precise due date.
Edward senses her uneasiness. Stepping up by her side he looks at her with a sincere smile.
"You need me?" Edward asks curiously as she laces her fingers in his.
"I do. Sorry, I'm awful I know but …it just seems so weird...like just yesterday I was pregnant with Lizzie." Bella whispers to him as they follow a nurse in a neon color scrub to her room.
"I understand." Edward was honored by her invitation to share in such an monumental moment in her life.
"Please remove everything from the waist down and the doctor will be here in just a few minutes." The nurse hands Edward a nightgown to help Bella change into.
Bella's cheeks burn with embarrassment as he looks awkwardly at the cotton gown.
"Turn." Bella twirled her fingers, asking him not to look while she changed into the proper attire for a first visit to the OBGYN.
"Okay." She sat on the edge of the table, pulling a blanket over her lower half.
"I have to say I am deeply curious. I mean, it amazes me how doctors use these machines to see inside of your stomach." Edward looked in awe at the medical technology. He was always finding himself amazed at how much things had changed since he was human. The medical community as a whole had grown and developed over the years.
"I am too." Bella sighs nervously as she crosses her arms over her stomach in a protective gesture.
"What are you hoping for? Another girl or a boy?" Edward rubs his hands together, wondering what it would be like to be the father of an unborn child. To sit by the woman you love, waiting for the miraculous news of what the two of you created. It was such a blessing, such a miracle to create life.
"I don't care. I just want a healthy baby and a safe delivery with no mix ups." Bella crossed her fingers while Edward laughs loudly.
He could totally understand that request. After all(,) if there had never been a mix up the first time around, she might not have ever met Jake. She would have had the chance to raise her daughter the first year of her life instead of grieving for a child that had never been hers to grieve.
"Me too." He agrees as a tall female doctor steps in wearing a pair of high heels that put her at the same height as Edward.
"Hello, I'm Doctor Hayworth. You are Bella, correct?" She pushed the dark black glasses up on top of her head as she read over Bella's folder.
"Yes." Bella speaks softly.
"And you are?" Doctor Hayworth looks back at the paper, trying to locate the name of the father when she finds that spot blank. She glances at the couple with a confused look.
"I'm her friend Edward Cullen. You might know my father, Carlisle." Edward extends his hand. Dr. Hayworth gives him a strong shake before releasing it.
"Yes, I do. He is an amazing surgeon." She clucks her tongue as she sit's the folder down and walks over to Bella's side.
"Bella I'm going to examine you first, then we will do a sonogram. Hopefully we will know your precise due date from that. I saw on your folder you have temporary amnesia." She asks as she looks into Bella's ears, eyes, throat.
"Yes." Bella answers.
"What happen? How did you hit your head that hard?" She asks as she checks her pulse, writing down all her findings.
"Not sure actually. Haha…I can't remember." Bella chuckles nervously.
"I see. Lie back." The doctor starts the examination, while Edward who is up by Bella's head turns completely around to stare at the wall. He knew if he could blush he would be completely red in the face. He didn't know that women had to endure something so personal and embarrassing.
A few minutes later, Edward heard the doctor tell Bella she could close her legs. Edward peeked to the side to see that Bella was completely cover up except for her small swollen stomach. The doctor then proceeded to do the sonogram. This was the part that truly fascinated Edward.
"Everything looks great. The baby appears to be developing right on schedule. From the length and weight(,) I would have to say you are three months pregnant Bella. Let's see...with what you believe was your last menstrual cycle and the size of the baby that would make your due date of ….." The doctor used a small chart to figure out the exact date .
"August 1st. You will have to endure the entire summer which is not an easy task let me tell you. I had two in the middle of the summer and I thought I would explode from the heat." She chuckles happily as she wipes the gel off of Bella's stomach.
"What is the gender of the baby?" Edward asks with a hopeful grin on his face.
"Too soon to know. In a few months we can tell." The doctor laughs at his eagerness to know the gender of the baby.
"Oh." Edward's disappointed expression causes even Bella to laugh at him.
"Two to three more months and I won't be able to hide this anymore." Bella places her hand over Edward's trying to assure him it would not be too much longer before they knew.
"Okay." Edward seemed appeased by the news and the way she had comforted him.
"Alright, here is a prescription for some vitamins and I will need to see you every month until we get closer to the due date. Okay?" The doctor grins at them both before she strolls out of the room.
"This is soooo…cool." Edward said the word that normally he found rather lame. He didn't care too much for the slang language that this generation of young people often used but he did know it.
"I know right." Bella agrees starting to feel his excitement making her feel less scared and a little more excited about the pregnancy.
"Well, we better get you dressed and back to the house . Jake wants to take you to see Lizzie today." Edward reminds her of what else was on the agenda for the day.
"Can you turn around again?" Bella blushes as she steps off of the table with wobbly legs.
"Sure." Edward turns quickly as he listens to the sounds of Bella dressing herself.
"Thank you for coming with me." Bella gives him a quick hug before they leave the room.
"Thanks for inviting me. I've never been through anything like this before." Edward answers as they make their way out of the busy building and back into reality where they both wonder how Jake is going to take the news of her pregnancy and how much he would want to be apart of what they had just shared together.
Bella looked into the eyes that were her daughters. She couldn't stop herself from smiling as she looked at her tiny hands, the darkness of her hair and the little curls that had begun growing out since she saw her last.
"Mammaa…" Lizzie giggles as she crawls out of Jake's laps to sit in hers .
Bella smelled her hair. Rubbing her hands over the smoothness of her head, tears sprung into her eyes. There was no doubt that she was her daughter. There were no words to describe the joy that exploded inside of her from the mere contact and acknowledgement of her daughter.
"Lizzie. Hey. You're so pretty." Bella said as she tried to blink away the endless tears that welled in her eyes.
"Play…play momma." Lizzie patted Bella's hands, wanting to hold them. Bella swallowed hard as she gave over her hands.
"She has missed you." Jake says, breaking the silence.
He met Edward at the border of their treaty line to pick up Bella. He could tell the two of them were growing closer. Bella kept looking at Edward for assurance before she stepped over onto Jake's side of the boundary. Edward waved at her, telling her he would be here at once if she needed him too.
Jake felt the wolf inside roar with rage. He had no right to offer Bella his assistance when she was with him. He would keep her safe. He was her imprint. He knew what was best for her, not that cold ass blood sucker. He might be her hero at the moment but once her memory came back, she would remember everything there was to know about Edward and his family and she would flee from him. She would reject anything they had to offer. After all, it was his kind that nearly kill her.
"She looks healthy. I take it the procedure went well." Bella remembered her dream the night before. She saw the day they had took Lizzie into the hospital to have the life saving procedure performed. She remembered how scared the both of them had been.
"It has. I took her for a check up, her blood count looks great. The doctor believes she will grow up into a beautiful young woman with no other problems." Jake answers.
"Good." Bella plays patty cake with Lizzie until she crawls off of her lap, heading for her building blocks in the center of the room.
"How are you feeling? Still sick?" Jake asks curiously. He hadn't been told much about her physical side affects, just that she was doing well mentally.
"A little but it's temporary." Bella stops herself just in time from explaining that morning sickness only lasted a few months. Now that she knew she was already in her third month, she knew the sickness would let up soon. At least it had the last pregnancy.
"Oh. How about your memory? Is it also temporary?" Jake half joked as he sat on the opposite side of the couch watching her face closely.
"I have moments when I remember things. Little things. It's weird. I sometimes wonder if I am dreaming or if it's real." Bella tries to explain the turmoil she was dealing with.
"I see. Do you have any questions for me?" Jake asks.
Bella sat there contemplating on how much she wanted to know. There had been several small things that had popped up in her brain. Moments, faces, places of things that did not make sense to her.
"How long did you know Lizzie wasn't yours?" Bella asks.
"It wasn't until she grew ill. I spoke to an investigator who helped me track you down ."
He answers with a somber look.
"Did we…did we imprint when we first met or was it later?" Bella still couldn't wrap her head around this whole "imprinting" tale that Jake had spoke of.
"When we first met. I just….well, I had someone else in my life at that time. She was having my baby and I thought I was going to love her forever. She soon left after
everything. We learned later, much later that she deliberately swapped our baby." His eyes mist up with tears as he turns his head, looking away from her.
"Why would she do that to you, to me?" She gasps. How could any woman purposely swap her own child? It was cruel. It was sickening.
"She figured out that you were my imprint. She knew that it meant I was destine to be with someone else, other than her. She learned our child was ill. She wanted to hurt you I guess." Jake's voice thickens as tears burn his eyes.
"But I didn't do anything to her! I would never harm another like that. Not even my worse enemy." Bella's anger boils at the surface as she clench her hands in small fists by her side. She thought back to the memories of how she had mourned and suffered at the loss of her child. It had destroyed her marriage. It had nearly killed her.
"I know. That is why I love you." Jake inhaled deeply as his eyes lock with hers.
"I…can't…I..don't…." Bella put up the palm of her hand, wishing that she could return those sacred words to him but at the moment she was filled with too much turmoil, too much pain.
"I understand." Jake stands up walking across the room. Pulling up the blinds he stares outside.
Bella saw a flash of images cross her mind as she watched him.
"You helped me in here. I hurt my ankle somehow." Bella spoke out what she was seeing as a zing of pain struck her in the back of her head.
"Yes, I did." Jake answers, his position by the window still remaining unchanged.
"You kissed me. I felt so dizzy with desire but then you left me shortly afterwards. I thought you were rejecting me. I was so sure of it but then you came back later and explained that something had happened to Quill. " Bella continues to speak of the memory that was resurfacing from the darkness of her mind.
"Are you remembering this…now?" Jake turns slowly looking amazed at her.
"Yeah." Bella nods as she covers the sides of her head with her hands, squeezing her eyelids together as the pain grew more intense. She wanted to hold onto it, see how much more she could remember. She usually didn't push herself like this but seeing how crushed Jake was about her not returning his love, made her want to try.
Bella nods her head.
She see's the petite blonde girl, her eyes were a crimson shade of red as she look at Bella. Her body was tense and it sparkled. She looked at Jake with such agony. Then she raced towards Bella. A wolf jumped to stop her from hurting Bella, but it wasn't Jake. It was Collin. Jake stood there frozen. He didn't even flinch a muscle as his ex-girlfriend ran towards her. Sienna was going to kill Bella and there was nothing she could do about it. She was weak. She was pathetic against the strength and speed of Jake's ex-lover.
Collin had been forced to kill Sienna, ripping her head straight off of her neck.
Her head pounded unmercifully as she felt strong cool arms lifting her up before her legs buckle under her. Edward. He had rescued her. He had taken her away from all the death.
Bella opens her eyes as she looks at Jake with such bitter despair. He hesitated. He actually hesitated as Sienna held her life in her cold brutal hands.
A soft tap on her door alerted them both that they had company. Bella wiped away the warm salty tears from her cheeks while turning away from him and their unexpected company. She fought to gain control over her emotions. It hurt like hell remembering how he had been forced to choose between her and Sienna and he had actually hesitated.
Did he truly love her at all or was it just the magical pull between them that held them bound to one another? If Sienna had not been changed into a vampire, if she had shown up on his doorstep begging him to take her back would he had chosen her or Sienna? She knew there was no way to gain the answer to this dilemma but it still hung between them. It would never work between them if she was going to constantly doubt his sincerity about their relationship or their love. How could she raise two children with him? How could she expect him to "want" to be with them rather than be obligated to do what was expected of him.
"Bella, it's Collin." Jake announces with an unfriendly look toward Collin as he steps inside the house. "Collin." Bella turns to see her ex-husband standing in the doorway with a sheepish grin on his face.
"Hey." Collins replies as he waves at Lizzie who looks up at him with a big smile.
Bella couldn't restrain herself from jogging across the room, throwing her arms around him, nestling her face in the crook of his shoulder. She knew this probably didn't look right in Jake's eyes but she really didn't give a damn. After all, he almost let her die. He let her down. He hurt her. He made her feel confused and insecure. Collin, well he did his own damage to her heart in the past but she knew they had worked through it all. She also knew that the imprinting from the day Jake had rescued her probably played a big part in ending their marriage along with the loss of the baby and Collin's infidelities.
"Are you okay?" Collin whispers in her ear.
"No." Bella shakes her head as warm tears flood her eyes despite how hard she fights them back.
"Do you want to go for a walk?" Collin suggests even though he knows Jake wouldn't be pleased with his suggestion.
"Please." Bella pleads.
"Jake, do you mind if I take Bella outside for a few minutes?" Collin turns to look directly at his Alpha, while still holding Bella tightly against him.
Jake swallows hard. Watching Bella throw herself on Collin was the equivalence of walking in on her having sex with the man. She was showing him affection in away she rarely showed him since her temporary amnesia. He wanted to rip her arms off of Collins strong frame but he sensed her need to be alone and away. He wasn't sure what she remembered exactly to cause her to feel such pain and fear.
"Sure." Jake stepped aside as Collin pulled Bella's arms off of him, took her hand and lead her outside.
Bella didn't even bother to look at Jake, leaving her head handing low as she stepped outside with her ex-husband.
They walked silently to the old barn where he lean up, holding her hands in his.
"What happened?" Collin asks curiously but gently.
"I remember something." Bella's voice cracks.
"Remember? What's wrong with you?" Collin gulps preparing himself for the worse news ever.
"I lost my memory . I'm recovering some of them. I remember the day you saved my life. YOU and Edward, not Jake." Bella begins to bawl, covering her face with the palms of her hands.
"What? Jake was fighting to protect you. You somehow manage to walk up on the scene.
You have some serious bad timing." Collin chuckles roughly as he pulls her hands away from her pink tinted face.
"I was…I think…on my way there to tell Jake something when I got a flat tire. I heard sounds. Strange loud sounds. I knew it was stupid to walk in the woods but I was drawn to them. I couldn't resist it." Bella explains what had come over her that day she had drifted into the battle where she was incapable of protecting herself.
"Wow, you really did lose your memory. I'm sorry Bella. You look awful. I mean….are you sick?" Collin saw the rude glare she flashed him at the mention of how ill she appeared to him.
"I will be fine." Bella snaps as she wipes away the tears, snorting her nose.
"Why do you think that Jake was not protecting you? He loves you. You're his imprint. We will die for a imprint." Collin explains to her.
"Maybe you would die for yours but Jake wouldn't. He didn't. HE let you step in to kill Sienna. He didn't have the heart to do it. Even after he knew my life was on the line." Bella rubs her hands against her thighs with an agitated look.
"He didn't have a choice about that. I disobeyed him and struck out on my own. I was so furious about what she had done to us. Purposely swapping our babies, knowing hers was dieing and letting us go through all that hell. It wasn't my place to kill her but the wolf in me wouldn't listen to reason. I should have been punished but because I did save you in the process, Jake did not attempt any such thing. He thanked me. " Collin was surprised by his sudden need to prove Jake was worthy of Bella's love.
It was funny how quickly things had changed in the last few weeks and months. He never imagined he would be standing here defending Jake's actions and love for Bella. No, he never saw this day coming.
"So you're telling me that Jake would have kill her had you not rushed in to do it yourself?" Bella says not sure if she can honestly agree with his view of what she saw.
"I swear he would have. It hurt his ego that I did it. That I took her life not because he loved her but because it was his place as Alpha and your protector to do so. I know when you disappeared he went crazy looking for you. I thought he was going to kill the Cullen's although they had helped us just moments before." Collin says with a firm stare.
"I see." Bella wraps her arms around her chest, looking back at the house wondering if Jake's keen sense of hearing could hear their private conversation.
"He can't hear us from here. His hearing is better when he's in wolf mode." Collin could see the question going through her head clearly on her face as she cocked her head from side to side.
"OH." She frowned still not sure how she felt about this whole wolf transformation.
"I'm sure this whole memory loss thing must be scary as shit but trust me, if Leah couldn't remember our love I would be just as scared too." Collin says.
Bella considers his words. She knows he's right. She's only been looking at this situation from one point of view, her own. has been looking at this from her own point of view. She never considered how all of this was affecting Jake or Lizzie. She knew it wasn't easy on them but she honestly didn't put a lot of thought about their own pain.
What if their roles had been reversed? How would she feel about Jake's sudden lack of memory of her? It would hurt her. She would be distraught with pain. So it was time for her to start considering how her ordeal was affecting the lives of others and not so much about her own fears. She was surrounded by people who only cared about her.
It was true she wasn't happy with how things went down that rainy, blood pouring afternoon but she survived. She had been taken to safety. Sienna was dead. She was no longer a threat to her, Jake or Lizzie anymore. That was what should matter the most at the moment, not who had actually killed Sienna. She knew she was being petty in Collin's eyes. She couldn't be angry at him for it either. The truth hurt but it was the truth after all.
"Okay, you're right. I'm not being fair to him. I get it." Bella smiles bitterly as she shoves her hands in her front jean pockets, heading back to the house.
Alex felt the warmth of the human's blood dripping and gliding down his aching throat. Her husband was bound to a chair forced to watch as he savored the last bit of life from his wife's veins.
"If you don't tell me something that is useful then your next." Alex states as he licks the coppery scented blood from his lips.
"I don't know nothing!" The man shouts frantically as his eyes nearly bulge out of his head.
"Sure you do. You must know who his family is. That's is a start. Does he have children?" Alex's tone remains almost sensual as he licks the woman's wrist draining the last drop of life, dropping her limp body to the ground at her husband's feet. "He ….he….doesn't have any ….children….just a father…that's all I know. We hated him. We didn't not want Sienna with him." The father drops his head as fat tears roll down his cheeks onto his lap where his eyes stare at the body of his wife.
"I can see why anyone wouldn't want their daughter spreading her legs for a four legged overgrown dog. Still, she did it. She did a lot of dirty things with him." Alex giggles like a child who just played a prank on someone.
The man continues to weep furiously.
"What's his name?" Alex asks as he licks each of his fingers.
"I don't ….Billy….I think it is Billy Black." He croaks. "Where does his father live?" He asks as he steps toward him.
"Out there on the reservation." His voice was hoarse as he reveals what Alex wants to know.
"You are too easy. I thought you would give me more of a fight. Too bad. Oh well, bored now." He yanks his head back, slashing through his fragile skin with his teeth as he relishes more blood. A half an hour later he leaves the house where two bodies lie dead, drain of all of their blood with a little more power in his veins and knowledge of how to weaken his sister's arch enemy.