Bella POV
We were playing and having fun and all of a sudden Craig suggested we get me and Keyabell back home because it's was getting late. When we got home, everyone was happy to see that we were okay. Jake was very happy to see his sister and even happier to know that they were staying. Paul was just happy to have me in his arms. My parents told me if I were to leave the house like that again, I'd get grounded which is funny because I have never been grounded before.
It is now Friday, the last day of school for everyone.
Seth and Keyabell are going out, or at least that is what it seems like to me, I don't know, I haven't seen them kiss so I guess they're best-friends, like me and Paul.
Mom is pregnant, I find it crazy that she's pregnant even after all that's happened at first I was disgusted because my parent are…having sex…I was ill and begged them to clean anywhere they were, but then after a while, I was happy because I could finally be a big sister towards my little brother or sister.
Well, according to everyone I am different, I grew a few inches, I went from 5'4 to 5'8, I am no longer an shy girl who always kept quiet, I am what you call "Paul's second half or Ashlee-Leah twin" has what Emmett calls me. I now have a temper, a bad mouth and an attitude, and I threaten people a lot nowadays, my parents think that Paul is a bad influence along with everyone else and is making them leave early and not hang around me a lot which is annoying.
Well, the other day I saw something I was not suppose to see that made me wonder, what the hell are they because they're surely not human…
In my room, waiting for Paul to come over when I was sitting at the back window in my room, weird, I never noticed it before, anyways, I was just watching the snow on the floor, surprisingly it wasn't snowing or anything, when I notice Ashlee, Rebecca and Rachel walk out of the house, they looked around for a while before continuing walking.
THE FUCK? WHERE ARE THEIR JACKETS! I mentally screamed at myself, causing a headache. I watched as they walked toward the woods before exploding into a big fur ball. I freaked out and jumped off from where I was sitting, causing a thud to happen, upset with myself that I got scared in the first place.
That day I was so scared to be around them. I noticed each and every one of their furs. Rachel and Rebecca look the same, Ashlee on the other hand seemed completely different, she looked more…cattish, if you'd call it, she has a long tail and beautiful cat eyes, but her fur is brown, or a russet color, or in between.
I had a panic attack that day, boy did my dad and Paul have a fit, they kept trying to figure of what caused my panic attack, I couldn't tell them, they would think I'm crazy so I just told them that I didn't remember.
I written so some songs and poems, I've composed a lot of music and lullabies with my piano and guitar, I also drawn a lot of people and more wolves. I had weird dreams so I had to write them down as well.
I can't get Paul out my head. It's annoying but yet...loving. My favorite poem is 'Love to be'; it's nice and about Paul, his and mine life stories.
You think it'll be easy to express my feelings but it's not
Nothing easy nowadays
I always want to stand by your side
Nothing will ever come in between us
One day when the sky is falling, I will be standing right next to you and will whisper these words. 'I love you Paul LaHote.
I don't know where we stand in our friendship. One day he's nice to me, next day he doesn't want to talk to me, or he just avoids me. I just want to slap the bitch for pissing me the fuck off, the stupid fucker doesn't know that TWO can play at this game, but I sometimes can't help but feel like putty in his hands whenever he smiles at me, I can't breathe, I feel the butterflies in my stomach, and it sometimes makes me dizzy.
A Christmas party was going to be held at our house, boy was my mom excited, but she was always tired and hungry and what not. She's been looking pale lately, I guess the pregnancy shit is getting to her or something,
Knock, knock.
"Come in." I called as I picked up a different paintbrush. I watch has dad walked into the room, he seemed sick. "Dad, what's wrong?" I asked, placing my pedal with paint down and fixing my easel so that it didn't fall.
"Renee is having terrible morning sickness."
"Well, come on!" I said, jogging out the room and down to their room.
Moms lying on the bed, with a trash next to her and a water bottle in her hand, you can smell vomit just from the door.
"Mom, are you okay?" I asked, rushing to her side. But she held up her hand to stop me,
"Don't come closer, you smell like rotten old strawberries." She mumbled before throwing up again, I ran back over to where Charlie was standing.
"Sorry." I told her.
She cleaned off her mouth. "S'okay." She told me. "Honey, I'm going to need you to do something's for me, is that okay?" she asked.
"Oh course." I told her.
"I don't think I'll be able to get out of bed for a while, and honestly, I don't want to try, call Emily and tell her I'm sick and ask her if she can come over and help cook for tomorrow, please baby, mommy is feeling really sick, and can you make me some soup and get me some crackers and ginger ale, with some mint tea, two spoons on sugar incase they're nasty, thank you." She said before running to the bathroom.
Oh good, she sounds horrible.
"Okay." I yelled.
"Here." Dad said handing me mom's blackberry and a list, a very long list.
"Oh god." I mumble.
"Yeah I know, Bella, I'd help you it just…I don't wan –"
"It's okay dad, you don't want to leave mom hear alone, I wouldn't want you to leave her anyways. I got this under control, beside you shouldn't leave pregnant woman alone anyways."
"Thank you BumbleBee." He said.
I took things and left.
Did I forget to mention that my phone fell down the stairs; I don't want to talk about it because it's too tragic and retarded.
I texted Emily.
Hey Em, its Bella, moms sick, is you still coming over to help with the cooking and shopping? –B
I sent it then went upstairs to go get ready. I took a shower and ten minutes I was ready in twenty minutes, wearing my destroyed baby blue stretched Denim skinny jeans, with a Mickey Mouse cross shirt, a gray v-neck cardigan, my Christian Louboutin Platforms heels, I am now obsessed with heels, I grabbed my fuck you ring that Paul gave me and my Panda bear necklace with Keyabell gave me also, and my bag with my cards and other things that I must bring around…
I checked mom phone, nothing. Hmmm, I thought Emily would've responded by now.
I went downstairs and ate a quick check over the list, I'm sure this would come up to more than $200 for sure.
The doorbell rang.
It's Charlotte and Mikhaila, Paul's mom and little sister. [AN I don't remember if I mention them before, correct me if anything)
"Hi Bella, I'm really, sorry to drop by like this, but can you please watch Kayla, I have to run to work and I don't know where her father is at, please." She pled.
"It's no problem; I'll bring her with me because I have to go to the supermarket it." I assured her.
"Thank you." She said running back towards her car.
I never really got the chance to meet Mikhaila because she's always with her dad. Or at least that what Paul tells me,
"Hi Bella." She said.
She's eight years old, russet skin, curly hair and dimple smile.
"Hi." She said happily, hugging my legs.
"Hey Mikhaila…is it okay if I call you Mickey?" I asked.
She nodded happily. I smiled.
We made our way to the car; I helped her into the car and buckled her up then went around and started up the car.
I got in the car and left and made my way towards the supermarket. When I got there, I noticed a group of boys just hanging out there, I check the time, 1:09 pm…shouldn't they be in school?
Well, Mikhaila and me made our way inside the market. She asked in if she can ride in the trolley, I accepted, that way I didn't have to worry about her always not being around me or next to me,
I checked the list, have I went through the isle.
"Could we get cookies and candy?" she asked.
"Of course Mickey,"
I grabbed chocolate cookies, marshmallow, and crackers, anything that was sweet. D
By the time I was done, I had three carts, which of course I had to ask someone to help me push, I checked moms phone and still no message from Emily. I was starting to get worried. I call her cell phone, it went straight to voicemail.
Hi, sorry I wasn't able to get your call, leave a message, BEEP.
Hey Em it's Bella, I'm going to the supermarket now, meet me there so you can help me with everything, okay? Bye.
I hung up and drove off into town,
…..…...
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…..
By the time we got back home, it was a little over 3 o'clock,
When we got to the house, dad helped us unload the truck.
I was exhausted, but it was only 3:30 pm. I still had to go to the mall and go shopping for everyone Christmas outfits.
I didn't know where everyone was at, I called Kim's, Jake house, Ashlee, Keyabell, and the Cullen's phones, but no one picked up, but then I remember that Ashlee went back to college until Christmas so I wont be hearing from her anytime soon, then I remembered the their parents are leaving for a few weeks so Ashlee and Keyabell will be staying with us starting next week. I decided to call Charlotte and ask her if she got Charlotte Christmas outfit, she had totally forgotten about it so I told her I would buy her something with everyone else. I called Paul's phone but it went straight to voicemail. I was very annoyed now. I decided to go shopping now with Mickey since no one else was picking up there phone, I told daddy and left,
We got to the mall and started shopping, I first found things for Mikhaila, she liked almost everything that was there, I didn't mind shopping for her, I love seeing her smile, I ended up spending $200 on her, I brought most of the things to the car, I think I'm going to regret changing the car to the Lexus, anyways, once we were finished we started shopping for myself, I asked Mickey what she thought of everything I wore, she like everything, expect anything that was in pink of white, she said it to original, I just laughed at her but got them anyways, I got several more heels, boots and slippers for the summer which we were cheaper than everything else, I ended up spending $400. I was tired and hungry, so we headed off the food court, when we got there, I ordered a cheeseburger with onion and fries and I got Mikhaila a happy meal.
When we got home, we were exhausted, Mickey was already asleep so I brought her upstairs and left her in my room, I went back downstairs and unpacked everything from the car, I checked and noticed that they were asleep, usually mom would be awake now cleaning but she was in no shape to clean, so I clean, man let me tell you, it's a lot of work, now I understand why mom tries to always keep the house clean.
About an hour or so after I was finished cleaning, I locked the door, turned off the lights and I went upstairs and fell asleep next to Mikhaila.
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The past few days seemed to flow right by without any problems, I woke up and would fall into the same routine every morning, wake up next to Paul, shower and then get dress, make breakfast for Paul while he shower and later make more breakfast for my parents, set up daddy work items for him to pick up and leave, leave food for mom for her weird hungry problems, watch TV with Paul and the guys and girls and the Cullen's, get made fun of by Emmett, then kick everyone out and head upstairs with Paul and make him sit so that I can draw him and then fall asleep, so yeah, basically the same thing every day.
I haven't seen the twins or Ashlee and Keyabell in days, that makes me worry, Seth and Jacob seem to ask about them everyday though,
I woke up the next morning cold and alone, I turned to see that Paul wasn't in my bed, but there was a note on the pillow,
Sorry, I didn't want to wake you up so I showed myself out, Sam called, I have to go to work, see you around noon for my breakfast.
-Paul
I rolled my eyes, typical Paul. I never question him on his whereabouts or the fact that he would suspiciously leaving at random times, though it does worry me, I sometimes think that something bad will happen, I don't even know what he does or work has or with work, well other than Sam.
I got out of bed and took my shower, once I was done; I put on some sweats and a LOVE shirt that stopped above my belly bottom.
Third PERSON-
CHRISTMAS MORNING
Downstairs the family, was the whole family,
Everyone had opened his or her gifts. Esme got a sweater with her name on it, a portrait of her and Carlisle that Bella drew, and a gold bracelet, with many different charms, such as a 'mom', a heart, a dog, a cat, and a charm with her name engraved in it. Esme laughed but was slightly confused on why there was a cat, but Ashlee just shrug it off. Carlisle got a Panther tooth because Edward told Bella that he's interested in things like that. Bella didn't get many things because she didn't ask for a lot, but the younger wolves did receive plenty of gifts. Rosalie got 24k heart shaped diamond, with her name and Emmett names carved in the back of it and a new BMW from Emmett. Alice got a gift card for a spa week for her and company. Renee got bracelet with her favorite foods on it, ice cream, cake, bacon, sandwich, etc. Seth got a self portrait of him and Keyabell together,
Paul P.O.V
Keyabell had given me book. I don't know why but she did, she told me go read it.
The cover of the book said 'What it feels to be me'. It's Bella's book I loved her handwriting. I don't know why but I keep getting these weird emotions. Love, hate, hurt, comfort, disappointment. The first page was a song she had written:
'Crush'
I hung up the phone tonight
Something happens for the first time
Deep inside it was a rush. What a rush
'Cause the possibility
That you would ever feel the same way
About me. Just too much, just too much
Why do I keep running from the truth?
All I ever think about is you
You got me hypnotize, so mesmerized
And I just go to know
Do you ever think when your all alone
All that we can be where this thing can go?
Am I crazy or falling in love?
Is it really just another crush?
Do you catch breath when I look at you?
Are you holding back like the way I do?
I've tried and tried to walk away
'Cause I've know this crush ain't going away
But I know this crush is not gong away-ay-ay-ay
Going away-ay-ay
Has it ever crossed your mind
When were hanging, spending time girl,
Are we just friends? Is there more? Is there more?
See it's a chance we've got to take
'Cause I believe that we can make this into
Something that will last forever, forever!
Do you ever think when you're all alone
All the we could be, where this thing could go?
Am I crazy or falling in love?
Is it really just another crush?
Do you catch when I look at you?
Are you holding back like the way I do?
I'm trying to walk away
'Cause I've know this crush isn't going away
But I know this crush ain'tisn't gong away-ay-ay-ay
Going away-ay-ay
Why do I keep running from the truth?
All I ever think about is you
You got me hypnotize, so mesmerized
And I just go to know
Do you ever think when you're all alone
All that we can be, where this thing can go?
Am I crazy or falling in love?
Is it really just another crush?
Do you catch when I look at you?
Are you holding back like the way I do?
'Cause I've know this crush isn't going away
But I know this crush isn't gong away-ay-ay-ay
Going away
Going away-ay-ay
Going away-ay-ay
I couldn't think. Was this about me? Of course it is, she hangs out with my most of the time, there cant be anyone else, that means she has the same feeling has mine, I despertly needed her, mating season was coming up, and I hate but loved it all at the same time, I hated it because the imprint bond isn't has strong when your mate isn't mate, don't understand well, basically I could end up having sex with other girls since I haven't marked Bella yet.
I continue to read her poems and songs. I felt like everything had changed. I read how she really felt about me. How she hurting because of my selfishness, how can I be so stupid! She my imprint. I shouldn't be acting like this to her. I shouldn't be having her thinking I don't want her. I hope she wouldn't get mad. But, I'm going to write a long, apologetic letter to her because I just want to give her space and not make her feel like she obligated to love me.
-Bella POV-
While I was in the shower, I thought about many different things, finding out that my neighbors aren't humans, neither are the twin, and Craig, I realized I that I hate Phil, I hate him with such a passion, thinking about him made me see red most of the time, but then I remember he made me who I am today and I thank him for that but at the same time I wish I never met the fucking bastard, I wish that long ago I had the strength to beat the fuck out of him like he did me and my mother, I wish I was the one who made him suffer and killed him, I wish I gave me scars or always made him have to go to the hospital.
I sighed as I looked in the mirror, I still had scars, but they were hardly noticeable the only scars that were noticeable were the recent ones I gave myself on my wrist over the months, I've been so stressed, I don't understand why, I feel like my skin is crawling all the time and it makes me want to rip it off most of the time,
I got in the shower and actually just stood there for a few minutes letting the tears leak freely after I was free of tears I washed my hair with my favorite flavored shampoo and conditioner, once I was done, I took a blade and sat down in the tub, I thought exactly about where I wanted to mark myself and made several cuts on my wrist. Having the blood drop into the tub. Having the water wash it away, I cried, I cried because I knew internally I was weak, it surprises me that I'm still alive, I cried because I wanted Paul here to tell me that I was special, but that'll never happen.
I dried myself off and went into the room. I was alone in here, like always.