It's been one week from today when I started posting this story, so I thought I'd post this chapter for you all tonight. Let's learn more about Cato, shall we? I hope he has some good explanations for his behavior! I also just want to give a shout out to Fadi25402702 for the detailed critiques, I so appreciate them, and 1bakedbre, bond of lights, labrat3000, when boredom takes over, lowfatsardine, liria nai and guests, thanks for your continued reviews! Gimme more please! :)

Training Night 2

Peeta had just finished showering and was now trying to figure out what he should wear. Expecting to see Cato on the roof tonight gave him pause when he went to get dressed; last night he hadn't really put any thought into what he was wearing. Cato saw him in pajama pants for Christ sake! So tonight he picked out a blue v-neck that made his eyes really pop and a pair of skinny dark wash jeans. The Capitol provided wardrobe was actually pretty great. He had no idea how they had all this clothing that fit him perfectly in here before he got to the room, but he was grateful for it tonight.

He left his blonde locks in a slightly mussed style across his forehead and then went to his door and pressed his ear against it, trying to listen for any sign that someone might be out and about. He really didn't want to run into Katniss. He was not ready to face her again as he was still stunned he had just come out to her like that. He had never once done that. He had long stopped being ashamed about being gay, but it wasn't something you really talked about in 12. And he had never really had anyone to come out to anyways.

And I wanted to come out to her. I wanted her to know that part of me, he realized. She is the first friend I've ever truly had. What am I going to do if I lose her in the games? I can't let myself think of that, not now. I'm not ready to start loosing people.

He headed out of his room and was relieved to find his path to the elevator free and clear. He quickly called the elevator to his level and then rode it the one stop to the roof where he found Cato already waiting for him at their bench under the blossoming trees. They must have been muttations, because they were in full bloom again, even after losing most their petals to the wind last night. It never ceased to amaze him the lengths the Capitol would go for the most ridiculous things. Cato was also wearing jeans along with a lovely pastel yellow shirt that enhanced the golden tan of his skin and made his blonde hair vibrant in the lights from the city.

"Hey Cato." He said cautiously.

Cato stood from the bench with a smile on his face and pulled Peeta in for a quick kiss, which Peeta was not complaining about.

"I just had to do that again. Sit, Peeta." He motioned to the bench.

He took a seat and was followed by Cato who looked into his eyes. "Wow, you have the most amazing blue eyes, have I told you that?"

Peeta blushed, thanks blue v-neck. "No you haven't, but thank you. You're eyes are quite beautiful too."

Cato cracked a smile, then cleared his throat, "Well, um, I owe you an apology and explanation so…" He waved his hands about, looking for a place to begin. "…I'll start with my father."

This was not where Peeta thought he was going to start, but it was Cato's show and he was happy to listen.

"He volunteered for the 53rd hunger games when he was 18 and as you can probably guess, he was the victor."

Peeta definitely was not expecting that. He watched Cato as he continued his story and could tell he was not used to this, sharing his personal life with others. Something they both had in common. The way he wrung his hands nervously as he spoke or picked at his jeans betrayed the confidence he emitted from his voice.

"There's been pressure on me since I was born to be the best, the strongest and most brutal, to lack emotion and be a killing machine. I was expected to volunteer for the games since I was born and my father would have nothing less than a victor for his son. He felt like I would be continuing some great family tradition. It was our legacy. Like making it out alive of the slaughter of 23 other teenagers and children was the most honorable thing someone could do."

Peeta hesitantly reached for Cato's hand and held it in his, stroking his thumb across Cato's knuckles softly when he didn't withdraw from the contact. "I can't imagine."

"My mother never cared, like I told you. She was too busy enjoying the lifestyle and vanity my father's riches brought her and the stature of being married to a victor." Cato shrugged with indifference over the memory of his mother.

"And so that is how I came to volunteer. Because my father had instilled in me since I was little that this is what the Ryves did. We won the Hunger Games. We were fearless killers. But… but I was never like those other kids I trained with. The ones like Clove that relished in the pain they caused and gleefully cheered at the brutal kills during the annual games. Yes I learned to push those emotions aside and kill if I had to, but I wasn't sure it was worth it and I sure as fuck couldn't wait for the games to come around so I could volunteer like others eagerly awaited. But I knew I had to, to try and make my father finally proud of me…"

He stopped and pulled Peeta's hand up in his to kiss gently. It was such a sweet gesture and it only pulled Peeta in deeper. Wherever deeper might have been leading.

"And then I got here, I saw you volunteer for that little boy on the train ride to the Capitol and I felt ashamed of myself. I thought that is why someone should volunteer! It was such a selfless act and Careers like me had never done something selfless like that in our lives, probably never would. That's why I didn't like you lumping me in with the Careers. You are such a unique and amazing person and to have you think for one second I'm like those Careers, it disgusted me."

He paused as he looked back into Peeta's empathetic blue eyes, "And then you were up here last night. And I just felt closer to you than I had been to anyone in my entire life."

Peeta smiled so broadly it hurt, "It was the same thing for me Cato. And I knew from the moment I saw you that you were different from the other Careers. I'm sorry to have ever compared you to them."

Cato cracked a smile back at Peeta, "Don't be. You made me reevaluate everything. I'm still not even sure what's happening, why I'm so comfortable being this open with you, but it's so much better than keeping everything bottled up…"

Then he continued his story, "After last night I kind of freaked out. Because I realized I had already failed my father. I knew I couldn't kill you. And if I couldn't kill you I couldn't win. So today I tried to put back on that ruthless persona. But you called me on my shit, like no ones ever done. There's something about you that just draws me in. Since I first laid eyes on you at the opening ceremony, you took my breath away…" He seemed to be living in the memory for a moment.

"And seeing Stasson pick a fight with you like that infuriated me. He had no right to say any of those things, but I had no right to want to defend you. After that I realized I was an idiot and I couldn't waste anymore time trying to be something I'm not. If I'm going to die in here, I want to die me. Something I've never tried to be before."

He was saying exactly what Peeta felt. He wanted to try being his true self so desperately; he'd never had the chance before. I guess when you're facing down death you re-examine the priorities in your life.

Peeta was silent for a minute, and then he leaned in and kissed Cato. It was the first time he had initiated a kiss and he felt after Cato's confessions, he deserved something more than words. He needed to show Cato what that meant to him.

However, this kiss was different from the other ones. It became heated fast as their tongues battled for dominance. With less wind tonight he could hear the slurping noises they made as the wet kiss deepened. Soon Peeta was climbing over Cato and straddling his lap, holding onto Cato's face tightly as if this kiss was his sustenance. Cato groaned into his mouth as his hands smoothed down Peeta's back and then rested on his ass, where he groped Peeta's two round globes tightly. Peeta moaned this time and then he ran his fingers through Cato's hair and pulled lightly before he continued to move them to grip Cato's biceps. He'd never been so turned on before and it only took seconds for Cato to make him come completely undone.

He didn't want it to ever end, but knew it was time to stop. For now. So he put his hand on Cato's shoulders and pushed him back. Cato whimpered and it was such a cute sound Peeta bent down and pecked another quick kiss on him, and maybe one more for good measure, before he finally dismounted from Cato's lap.

"That was fucking hot." Cato gasped.

Peeta chuckled in agreement, "Definitely. I thought you deserved it, for being so honest with me. It means a lot that you could open up to me. I've never had someone share such personal things with me before... I've never had someone I could share my feelings back to..." Peeta paused as he looked into Cato's eyes for strength.

"Like how I fear my mom, who hits me for things like burnt bread or oversleeping. Or how I hate my brothers who bully me at school out of our mother's sight. The one friend I ever made when I was 13, he was also my first crush, was driven away by my brothers. They played a vicious prank on the two of us that involved trapping us in the coal mines overnight."

Peeta's mind wondered back to that awful night. He remembered it being so dark and cold, the terror he felt as only a young boy. He feared he was going to suffocate. How his friend cried out in panic for an hour for his mom. The way Peeta struggled to find an exit from the mines that his brothers had lured them to on a dare of bravery, only to seal the exit, howling in laughter. They wouldn't be found until the mines opened the next morning. The worst part might have been when his only friend, the boy he unwillingly developed a crush on, hit him. He just started swinging fists in the dark until he connected with Peeta's face. He hated Peeta. He hated his family. He never talked to Peeta again. Peeta never had a meaningful connection with a person at school again.

Cato growled in anger as Peeta tried to clamp back down on the emotions bubbling inside him. "That is no way a family should behave toward a loved one! Even with all the problems I have with my family, there's never been violence in it. And I could never dream of hurting my little sister. She's the most precious thing to me."

"It's fine, it was over three years ago anyways. And I'm sure you're a great big brother. I just wanted you to know the truth about my family. I've accepted it."

They sat on the bench just holding hands for a bit until Peeta wondered aloud, "What's it like to be gay in your district?"

Cato shrugged, as he answered, "It's not really a big deal. I actually had a gay teacher at the Academy. I wouldn't say we're as sexually fluid as Capitol citizens are known for, but it's accepted. Only fringes of our district really have a problem with it. But then again there are so many other things wrong with this world, I don't think homo's rank that high on anyone's list of problems."

Peeta sighed, "I wish it was like that for 12. I mean I'm sure most people wouldn't care. But it's not something that is talked about, so no one would probably understand it. I think anything the Capitol can use to punish my district they do, and probably to other non-Career districts. It is expected of us to have children so we can contribute workers for the mine. So I mean having a life, as a gay person, is not even really possible. You'd be a pariah for not having kids, not even for your sexuality. And then who knows what the Capitol would do if they felt like you weren't contributing."

Cato let out a fierce growl again, "I've really never heard of so many injustices. It's completely unfair that the Career districts have so much favor by the Capitol!"

Peeta shrugged now, "How else would they keep us in line? Some need to get a little more than others. Oh, well and the Hunger Games and the destruction of District 13 of course."

Cato sighed, "Yes and that." He leaned over and bumped Peeta's shoulder. "Why don't you tell me something good about your district."

Peeta didn't have to think much for one. He may have had his problems back home, but now that he was so far from it he had more perspective than ever on his situation and could see how much his problems stemmed from a bad family life. Maybe he really had held himself back from connecting with people at school, so used to being trampled on at home he feared giving people the chance to know him and do the same. He wouldn't be afraid to make connections here, not with such a short amount of time left, even if it made things harder.

"Springtime in our district. Just a few weeks after the last snow has melted away, there is a field right outside the fence that is supposed to keep us in. But it's never electrified. In the spring this field fills with the most wonderful wildflowers of all different colors." Peeta paused for a moment as he reflected on the many times he had gone to that field in the spring and found a wonderful escape.

"Deep reds, violets, yellows, and vivid purples. I'd sneak out under the fence and bring a notebook where I would sketch the blooming field. Usually sitting just in the shade of the forest, so no peacekeepers could easily spot me. It was one of the only places of real beauty in our district. Inside the fence most things are dead and soot covered from the mines."

Cato put his arm around Peeta and pulled him in close. Peeta found his face nuzzled in between the crook of Cato's arm. He smelled delicious, sweet and fresh, yet manly, like after a mid-afternoon's summer rain and with a hint of muskiness. It was like a pheromone tailor made for Peeta's enjoyment.

Cato leaned down to whisper in his ear, "Thank you, Peeta. I'd love to see some of your drawings one day." He then placed a kiss atop Peeta's head, inhaling Peeta's own scent. "You're completely different from anyone I've ever met."

It was all so wonderful and perfect, just like the night before. Peeta never wanted it to end. He was so afraid that their separation and the morning to come would only bring new troubles, and it most likely would. Tomorrow was when the Gamemakers would grade them in their private evaluations. It was the last day of training. Then a day to get prepared for their interviews and finally, the following morning the games would start. His stomach fluttered in trepidation.

There was one last question on Peeta's mind though. He repositioned his face so he wouldn't be talking in to the side of Cato's pec and asked, "What about Clove? She obviously has a thing for you."

Cato laughed, "She doesn't have a thing for me at all. She just likes being in control. She doesn't want anyone else to have me. I'm her district partner. She probably would like to fuck for the fun of it, but all she really wants is to win. Like everyone else. I was just indulging her today, as part of my show. Trying to regain my own footing as badass after you came along toppled over everything I thought I knew."

"I guess I really don't know the effect I have on people." Peeta was maybe starting to realize he was more compelling than he thought. Maybe I could be something more than just another tribute in these games. Maybe…

Cato pulled Peeta in tight with a smile, "You have no idea, Peeta."

It was not until around 1 am that he was in his bed waiting for sleep to take him. They had stayed in that garden for quite a while longer and just listened to each other's breath, enjoying the presence of the other, their scent, stroking an arm or curling a finger through one's hair.

Now Peeta was really starting to worry. What have I gotten into? He thought of Cato's familial pressure to be the strongest and best killing machine, how he would never have his father's respect unless he was victor of the games. And then he turned to the memory of Prim, crying as her sister and protector was taken away from her at the reaping. Another family member lost to her. How her slightly absent mother would probably fall back into herself like after their father died, if Katniss didn't make it home. How can I sit by and watch either of them die?

And then there was Peeta, the boy on fire. The radical volunteer for the outlying District 12, who was wildly popular here in the Capitol and maybe a symbol of something more at home. What is fair? What is right or wrong anymore? Maybe I don't have to live... If I can do anything to make a change, maybe it's to not play the games and to play my own. Be the selfless man Cato saw in my Reaping, but how did he become that person again? He was just some fragile boy that made a decision on impulse. He realized maybe it didn't matter now how he became that guy again, he could do something for others and not become a selfish murdering monster like the Games so often turned people into. But either way, in the end he would either loose his own life or watch as two of the most important people in his life were ripped from him violently.

The odds were not in his favor.