Here's the next chapter... You guys are really AWESOME! THANK YOU SO MUCH FOR THE REVIEWS!
And I really wanna thank Ilaria and Marcela for their help with this chapter! YOU ROCK GIRLS!
SEATTLE.-
A day has passed since Derek left LA, he was still doubtfully with the hasty decisions he had taken, though he always considered himself as somebody who's always sure about what he wants, this whole trip to LA wasn't something that he would do, he just thought that for the first time in his life he'd try to do what he wanted and not what he has to do, just like Mark told him few days ago. As soon as he went back to Seattle he didn't return to Meredith's house, he still wasn't ready to deal with her, just not yet, though he wasn't sure she was there, he decided to go to the trailer, it's been almost a year since the last time he lived there, it was still messy since Alex and Izzie lived there for few months, but he didn't care, that place brought him too many memories back, but it was a nice place to think
That morning, was his first day back at Seattle Grace/Mercy West Hospital; he knew that probably he'd had to face Meredith for the first time after what happened in LA, he walked through the halls of the hospital and checked the surgical board, his name wasn't still there, so he kept walking until he was in front of Richard's office.
"Shep, you're back! We missed you around here" Richard greeted, Derek just smiled nicely at him "Anyway, how was your trip? Did you see Addie?" Richard continued
"It was good, she's okay… Have you seen Meredith? Is she here?" he had no idea if she was still in LA or if she was back in Seattle, if so, she'd probably be in the hospital and they could talk about everything that happened this last few days
"No, I haven't, I've been all morning doing paperwork" Richard could see concerned in Derek's eyes "Shep, is there everything okay between you and Meredith?" Richard asked, Derek sat down in front of Richard's desk
"It could be better, I think, but I really need to talk to her" Derek sighed "I need to go now, thanks again for the days off, they were really great"
"Derek, wait… Whatever that happened in Los Angeles, is affecting you, I've never seen you like this before, you have to find a solution for whatever you did and start to act like you used to do it before this week, you're not this doubtful- confused- sad men, you're more than this, and trust me, I know how you've must be feeling, I've been there before, but if you wanna feel better with yourself, you need to make a choice, a real one, one that you won't regret few years later" Dr Webber was trying to help him, he cared about Derek and he hated to see him like that.
"You're way out of line Richard… but you're right"
He left the chief's office, he knew Richard were right, he knew he wasn't doing the right thing. He truly needed to talk to Meredith, after all she's still his post-it wife and she deserved an explanation about what she saw in LA, he still cared about her and she does meant a lot to him, she was the one who helped him to feel alive again after Addison cheated, and he did loved her, but just not as he thought, and even when he didn't wanna hurt her, he needed to tell her the truth, including his feelings towards his ex-wife; if there was something he was sure, it was his security to take decisions, but right now he wasn't being himself.
All he could think about was his last day in LA and how he spent it. Though he tried to spend the day in the OR so he won't have to talk with anyone, he wanted to, but he knew he wasn't ready for that yet. But as soon as he went to the cafeteria, he saw her, there she was, talking with her friends as she usually does, probably they were talking about him. For one moment he thought about approach to her, but he decided to sit with Mark as soon as he saw him. Mark, was sitting with Callie, they were both having lunch.
"Dude, I thought you were staying in LA! So, how's Addie?" Mark asked, he haven't heard about him since the night he called him, Derek was in silence looking at them "Come on, don't worry about Callie, I told her, It's okay"
"You told Torres? Thanks Mark" Derek said furiously
"Don't worry, it's okay Shepherd, Mark told me you slept with Addison, It's not like I'm gonna judge you" Callie simply said
"How do you know I-? We didn't- How do you know?" There was no need to deny it, at least not to them
"Dude, you're too damn obvious! It's practically written all over your face!" Mark told him
"Why do you care anyway? It's none of your business" Derek responded
"Derek, I know that I practically told you to go for it, but it's wrong, you're with Grey now"
"You know what was wrong? You, sleeping with her while she was married with me! And then you slept with him again after we got divorced! What kind of friend are you?" He said while he was about to leave the table
"Come on! Don't start with that again, just let it go!" Mark told him while he started to walk away
While he was leaving the cafeteria, saw Meredith again, now exactly in front of him
"I think we need to talk" Derek told Meredith, he couldn't keep avoiding her
"Yeah, we definitely need to talk"
LOS ANGELES-.
Amelia was having coffee in the practice's kitchen; she hasn't spoken to Addison since he saw Derek in the office, even when Addison and she were living in the same house none of them were talking to each other. Addison knew that she and her brother don't have a good relationship, so a little warning would have been nice for her.
Addison walked in there, and saw Amelia, she knew she was still mad at her and that was a bad thing for her because she really needed her sister in law, she was one of her friends there.
"Amelia, I knew that I've should've told you that Derek was here, I'm sorry, I really am" Addison started to apologize with Amelia, she was more than her sister in law, she was like her little sister too.
"You could have told me he was here so I wouldn't have seen him, now probably he'd be telling everyone I'm a failed because I quit the neurosurgery fellowship"
"What if I tell you that's the last thing in his mind right now?"
"What do you mean?" Amelia asked, apparently forgiving Addison
"He wanted us to get back together, so we were talking and his wife came here and started to yell at us in the middle of the hall, and they day after you came"
"Wait, Meredith came here? Oh, Addie! I'm sorry, I don't know her yet, but according what Nancy told me, she's annoying, I guess you hate her"
"I actually don't, it's just impossible to have a good relationship with her according our circumstances" Amelia laughed
"I shouldn't be mad at you, you've been really awesome with me since I came to LA, I'm sorry"
"It's okay Amelia" Both women smiled
"So… You're not gonna tell me what's happening between you and my brother?"
"It's complicated, I don't even know what we are doing"
"Addie, it's always complicated between you two, you're Addison and Derek, things are never easy for you guys, but you get through it anyway" Amelia knew Addison was so much better with her brother than with the messy love life she was having by the time she came to LA for the first time
"I don't know Amelia, he has Meredith, and after me and Sam couldn't work out as a couple I don't know"
"He's with Meredith, but that doesn't mean that he doesn't want to be with you. He was here or not? Let him to figure things up in Seattle, I'm sure he'll be here again. And about you and Sam, it just wasn't meant to be"
Sheldon's Office, later that day.
"I gotta talk to you." Addison burst the doors open and sat down on the couch, crossing her arms defensively.
"Hey, Addison, how are you? Always a pleasure." Sheldon said, ironically, wondering what would make Addison just show up at his office.
"I need you to help me."
"Actually, I was just wrapping things up here and going home-"
"I thought you were a therapist!" Addison interrupted. "Therapists are supposed to help people go through crap in their lives!" Addison already felt the tears gathering in her eyes, but, she couldn't cry in front of him.
"Okay, Addison, obviously something is wrong." Sheldon sat down and took her hand. "What's happening?"
"Do you think love is everlasting?" Addison asked, looking deeply into his eyes. "Do you think if someone falls in love, it lasts their whole life?"
"What's going on?"
"I'm in love with someone. Not just 'in love', I love him so much it makes me wanna kill myself. And I know that this feeling will last forever. And I'm afraid he has no idea." Sheldon, all of a sudden, had a terrible thought. He held her hand tighter and leaned in.
"Addie, are you in love with me?"
"No!" Addison moved away from him, releasing his hand brutally. "Of course not, Sheldon! I'm in love with my husband, Derek Shepherd."
"And what's wrong with that?"
"He's actually my ex-husband."
"Oh."
"And he has a wife."
"Oh!"
"Is this very bad?"
"Very bad, Addison. Very bad."
"Damn." Addison let herself fall onto the stuffy cushions of his couch and exhaled deeply.
"You know what it's like to be cheated on, don't you?"
"Yeah."
"And do you wish that for his wife?"
Addison thought about it for a second. "Actually, I do."
"Okay, let me rephrase it. You know what it's like to feel like a cheater, right?"
Addison took a deep breath. "Unfortunately."
"And do you wish that for Derek?"
Addison rubbed her hands on her face. She had no doubt about it: Derek couldn't feel like a cheater. She couldn't do that to him. But, suddenly, she had an idea.
"What if he's willing to leave his wife for me?"
"Well, then, you should-"
"Actually, let me rephrase it: You know what it's like to be unhappy, right? Loving someone in silence, waiting for them to make the next move. Having that feeling that eats you inside like cancer, and makes it hard for you to even get up in the morning. Knowing that you had a chance to be with the man that is so obviously right for you and you blew it. And hating yourself for letting him go. You know what it's like, don't you?"
Sheldon was speechless. "Yes."
"And do you really wish that for me?"
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