One guest reviewer from the last chapter was not happy because they thought I was letting Chloe off too easy. These people are family and family forgives and is there for you. At least that's how it is in my family, so I'm writing from my own experience. Thank you.
Monday - Three Days After Chloe Effed Up
After spending most of Sunday morning searching places that had been searched several times, the gang met up at the diner near Chloe and Aubrey's place. After everyone was settled and food orders had been placed, Aubrey looked at the group, noticing the worry and exhaustion on everyone's face.
She finally spoke up and said, "Look everyone, I think after we eat we should all take the afternoon and try to relax a little. I know most of you are leaving after graduation and need to pack up your stuff. Why don't you take this afternoon to do that and we'll meet back up tomorrow Monday morning, say at 9:00 am, to regroup and figure out our next plan of action," Aubrey said.
Graduation was on Wednesday so everyone agreed since most of them had plans to leave on Thursday or Friday. Aubrey and Chloe had to pack up as well. Chloe was heading home to Florida to spend time with her family before she started her internship at LA Medical Center. She knew she was going to have to spend that time looking for place to live once she got to LA. She and Beca had planned to live together but she knew that wasn't going to happen now.
Monday at 9:00 am saw everyone back at the apartment, somewhat refreshed and ready to keep looking for Beca. Everyone chatted amongst themselves but quieted when Aubrey and Chloe stepped into the living room.
Chloe looked around the room. "I, um, wanted to thank everyone for being here for Beca. I know that I fucked up royally and that this is all happening because of me," she said softly. She cleared her throat and continued, "I know I don't deserve your forgiveness, but I do want to say that I'm sorry. There was so much going on in my head and I just let my own stupidity override my common sense. I know there's no excuse to justify what I did, but I do hope you can find it in your hearts to not hate me for it, and down the road maybe forgive me."
Chloe sat down, not daring to look at anyone. Aubrey rubbed her back and Chloe shot her a small smile.
Amy was the first to speak up. "It's like I already told you, Red. I hate what you did and who you did it to, but I don't hate you."
CR chimed in with, "Chloe, it's going to take a lot to get past this. Right now, I agree with what Amy said. BUT, I'm holding my final judgement until I see how Beca is. If she is fucked up or has done something to hurt herself, I will hate you and never forgive you."
Most of the others in the room just sat there, not sure how to respond. They all hated what Chloe did, but weren't sure about actually hating Chloe. And to forgive her was going to take a lot of work.
"Fair enough," said Chloe.
Stacie stood and said, "Chloe, can I talk to you?"
Chloe sighed and said, "Sure." She led Stacie to her room.
"First off, I do hate you, but I'm also worried about you," Stacie started. "Beca has become one of my best friends and what you did was selfish, reckless, and immature. You only thought of yourself and didn't consider the consequences."
Stacie was pacing back and forth and Chloe stood by the door. "This type of thing is not like you. You are always so sure about you and Beca and I can't understand why this happened. Why the uncertainty now? You always drink quite a bit but you never get as drunk as you were Friday night. So, why this time? Why that night? I know that whatever you say will never be a good enough, but I still want to hear it."
Chloe put her hand to her forehead. She was trying to figure out how to put into words what she wanted to say. "I know it's not enough but I am sorry, Stacie. I'm sorry for doing this to Beca. I'm sorry that you hate me," Chloe said. She took a breath. "I got lost inside my own head. I mean, everything was going great. I was going to be an intern at LA Medical Center, Beca and I are, um, were moving in together in LA, we were in a good place and happy. Then she started avoiding me, staying late in the studio, not staying over, we weren't having sex, we weren't talking. I was taken back to all those times she did that and ran away from me. I was worried that she was rethinking us being together in LA. And then when she didn't show up for the graduation party, I started drinking anything and everything I could get my hands on. I got really drunk and I just lost myself. I made myself believe that we were over, that she didn't want me anymore, and she didn't have the guts to tell me. And then Tom showed up. He wanted me. It felt good to be wanted in that moment. And you know the rest. I wasn't thinking straight and feel like shit but that's it. That's why we are where we are now, because I'm a chickenshit and didn't talk to Beca about my fears. We're at this point because I was afraid of losing Beca," Chloe said.
"That's bullshit. Even if she did leave, she always came back to you. But I think you should definitely plan on losing her for good now," Stacie said. She moved to stand directly in front of Chloe and said, "A part of me will probably always hate you for what you did to Beca. I will deal with that in my own time. But, just be warned, I won't be this nice if she comes back broken and becomes the Beca from freshman year. That's when nice leaves and you'll have to deal with the angry me."
Chloe just stood there, not saying a word. Stacie brushed past her and went back to the living room. Chloe pulled herself together before rejoining the others.
Aubrey took charge again and divided everyone into groups. She gave each group a section of the campus to search. She also said they should check some of the coffee shops and eating places and ask if anyone has seen Beca. They all know that if she's close she will need to eat and get her coffee fix.
Chloe and Aubrey sat at the small dining table drinking hot tea. "How are you holding up?," Aubrey asked Chloe.
"I'm not. I hate myself for hurting her, and by association, hurting everyone else," Chloe replied. "I'm numb. I'm worried. You know how she used to go to her dark place and not take care of herself. I just need to know that she's okay. I need her to not hate me. I hate myself, the Bellas hate me, especially Stacie, but I don't think I can handle it if Beca hates me, too."
"Beca's come a long way in the last 3 years. The two of you have complemented each other and have rubbed off on each other. You're more sarcastic and have the "Beca smirk" down pat," Aubrey said with a chuckle. "She's more open and doesn't over think things as much as she used to. She's matured in so many ways. I think she just needed to process things on her own. She is hurting for sure. Every one of us knows how she feels about cheating since her dad cheated on her mom. Remember how mad she got at Stacie when she was seeing that guy and she knew he had a girlfriend. She didn't hate her for it. She didn't speak to her for a while, but she forgave Stacie and she is now one of Beca's best friends," Aubrey said. She sighed and continued. 'I'm sure she's okay. I believe this. I also am pretty sure that Beca is incapable of hating you. I don't want to sugar coat it but I don't think your relationship will still be intact when she comes back. I think you need to be ready for that."
Chloe knew what Aubrey said was true. She starting crying and put her head on Aubrey's shoulder. Aubrey's phone pinged with a text message. She looked at it and said, "CR just sent out a group text. Beca was seen at that coffee shop on the other side of campus last Friday but nobody has seen her since. That's all they have so far."
The rest of the day went the same as the days before. No Beca yet, everyone tired and worried. They ordered dinner and after everyone had eaten, they all left for their beds to be ready to start up again tomorrow.
Jesse stayed behind to spend the night with Aubrey. He and Aubrey were sitting around making small talk. Chloe just sat there staring at the wall, occasionally wiping away a tear, lost in her thoughts. Jesse's phone pinged with a text message. He looked at his phone and sat up. "It's from Beca," he said.