A/N: This chapter, we have the problem of Lauren both singing and talking in the same scene. But it's such an obvious song to use, I had to put it in.
Disclaimer: I do not own Marvel, Disney, Fox, Glee, or any of these people or ideas.
(Open on Kurt, walking over to Quinn, who's standing at a window looking contemplative.)
Kurt: Everything all right?
Quinn: It's no accident, Lauren taking Mercedes. I dread what she plans for her once she's done. Mercedes is a good woman.
Kurt: (compassionate) She talks about you a lot. You changed her life. You changed everything around here.
Quinn: They were better as they were. We pretend on Asgard that we're more advanced, but we- we come here battling like Bildschneip.
Kurt: Like what?
Quinn: Bildschneip. You know, huge, scaly, big antlers. You don't have those?
Kurt: No.
Quinn: (surprised) Huh! Well they are repulsive, and they trample everything in their path. (She turns back to the large window) When I first came to earth, Lauren's rage followed me here, and your people paid the price. And now again. In my youth I courted war.
Will (approaching): War hasn't started yet. (serious) You think you can make Lauren tell us where the Tesseract is?
Quinn: I do not know. Lauren's mind is pretty far gone, it's not just power she craves, it's vengeance upon me. There's nothing that would take that away from her.
Will: A lot of people think that, until the pain starts.
Quinn: (serious) What are you asking me to do?
Will: (just as serious) I'm asking, what are you prepared to do?
Quinn: Lauren is a prisoner.
Will: Then why do I feel like she's the only person on this boat that wants to be here?
(Cut back to the prisoner cage. Lauren is pacing in the cell. Suddenly, she stops.)
Lauren: Hmm. There's not many people that can sneak up on me.
(She turns around to see Brittany standing there.)
Brittany: But you figured I'd come.
Lauren: After. After whatever tortures Will can concoct, you would appear as a friend, as a balm. And I would cooperate.
Brittany: I wanna know what you've done to Santana.
Lauren: I'd say I've expanded her mind.
Brittany: And once you've won. Once you're king of the mountain. What happens to her mind?
Lauren: (with an eyebrow raised) Is this love, Agent Pierce?
Brittany: No. It's just...I owe her a debt.
Lauren (going to sit): Tell me.
Brittany: Before I worked for TITANS, I uh, well, I made a name for myself. I have a very specific skill set. I didn't care who I used it for, or on. I got on the TITANS' radar in a bad way. Santana was sent to kill me...she made a different call.
Lauren: And what will you do if I vow to spare her?
Brittany: Not let you out.
Lauren: Ah, no. But I like this. Your world in the balance, and you bargain for one person?
Brittany: Regimes fall everyday. I tend not to weep over that.
Lauren: Even now?
Brittany: It's really not that complicated. I...owe her.
Lauren (getting up): Can you? Can you pay back that much? After what you've done, or rather haven't done, for her? Santana told me everything. You don't just owe her your life, you owe her the WORLD, and you think saving a woman no more virtuous than yourself will change anything? This is the basest sentimentality. This is a child at prayer. Pathetic!
(Cut to the lab. Sam and Artie stare at a screen that reads "ACCESS GRANTED." Files begin to open.)
Lauren's singing voiceover: Please allow me to introduce myself
I'm a man of wealth and taste
I've been around for a long, long year
Stole many a man's soul and faith
And I was 'round when Jesus Christ
Had his moment of doubt and pain
Made damn sure that Pilate
Washed his hands and sealed his fate
Pleased to meet you
Hope you guess my name
But what's puzzling you
Is the nature of my game
Lauren: ...You lie and kill in the service of liars and killers.
(Cut to the bridge. Emma runs over to a TITANS agent's computer. A message flashes up on the screen "VIRUS DETECTED." Will walks over and Emma looks up at him.)
Lauren: I stuck around St. Petersburg
When I saw it was a time for a change
Killed the czar and his ministers
Anastasia screamed in vain
I rode a tank
Held a general's rank
When the blitzkrieg raged
And the bodies stank
Pleased to meet you
Hope you guess my name
Ah, what's puzzling you
Is the nature of my game
Lauren: You pretend to be separate, to have your own code...
(Cut to the storage room. Finn opens a container and in it is CARMEL weapons and equipment.)
Lauren: Just as every cop is a criminal
And all the sinners saints
As heads is tails
Just call me Lucifer
Cause I'm in need of some restraint
So if you meet me
Have some courtesy
Have some sympathy, and some taste
Use all your well-learned politesse
Or I'll lay your soul to waste
Pleased to meet you
Hope you guessed my name
But what's puzzling you
Is the nature of my game
Lauren: ...something that makes up for the horrors. But they are a part of you, and they will never go away.
(Cut back to the glass cage. Lauren slams her fist against the glass. Brittany jumps back.)
Lauren: I won't touch Santana! Not until I make her kill you. Slowly, intimately, in every way she knows you fear. (Brittany becomes scared out of her mind) And then she'll wake just long enough to see her good work (Brittany turns away from Lauren in horror), and when she screams I'll split her skull! This is my bargain, you mewling quim!
(Sounds of Brittany sobbing. Her head hangs low.)
Brittany: You're a monster!
Lauren: (grinning menacingly) Oh, no. You brought the monster.
(Brittany suddenly lifts her head and turns to face Lauren - her face is dry.)
Brittany: So, Sam? That's your play.
Lauren: What?
(Brittany begins to exit the room.)
Brittany: (into earpiece) Lauren means to unleash the Hulk. Keep Sam in the lab, I'm on my way. Send Quinn as well. (She stops and faces Lauren) Thank you, for your cooperation!
(Brittany quickly strides off as Lauren looks confused.)
(Cut to the lab. Sam and Artie are reading a computer screen. Will enters.)
Will: What are you doing, Mr. Abrams?
Artie: Uh- kind of been wondering the same thing about you.
Will: You're supposed to be locating the Tesseract.
Sam: We are, the model's locked and we're sweeping for the signature now. When we get a hit, we'll have the location within half a mile.
Artie: And you'll get your cube back, no muss, no fuss. (obviously quoting something) What is Phase Two?
(Finn enters, and slams a large CARMEL gun on the table.)
Finn: Phase Two is TITANS uses the Cube to make weapons. (to Artie) Sorry, computer was moving a little slow for me.
Will: Finn, we gathered everything related to the Tesseract. This does not mean that we're-
Artie: I'm sorry, Will. (Artie turns the screen towards Will. It shows a plan for some missile.) What were you lying?
Finn: I was wrong, Director. The world hasn't changed a bit.
(Quinn and Brittany enter. Sam looks to her.)
Sam: Did you know about this?
Brittany: Sam, can you come with me outside for a second?
Sam: (laughs) Think I don't know what you're doing? I wasn't even in the country when you found me.
Brittany: Lauren's manipulating you.
Sam: And you've been doing what exactly?
Brittany: You didn't come here because I bat my eyelashes at you.
Sam: Yes, and I'm not leaving because suddenly you get a little twitchy. I'd like to know why TITANS is using the Tesseract to build weapons of mass destruction.
Will: (after a pause, points at Quinn) Because of her.
Quinn: Me?
Will: Last year earth had a visitor from another planet who had a grudge match that leveled a small town. We learned that not only are we not alone, but we are hopelessly, hilariously, out-gunned.
Quinn: My people want nothing but peace with your planet.
Will: But you're not the only people out there, are you? And, you're not the only threat. The world's filling up with people who can't be matched, they can't be controlled.
Finn: Like you controlled the cube!
Quinn: Your work with the Tesseract is what drew Lauren to it, and her allies. It is the signal to all the realms that the earth is ready for a higher form of war.
Finn: A higher form?!
Will: You forced our hand! We had to come up with some-
Artie: Nuclear deterrent! 'Cause that always calms everything right down.
(Everyone becomes hostile and begin cutting each other off.)
Artie: Once upon a time a few mistakes ago
I was in your sights, you got me alone
You found me, you found me, you found me
I guess you didn't care, and I guess I liked that
And when I fell hard you took a step back
Without me, without me, without me
Will: Remind me again how you made your fortune, Artie?
Quinn: And he's long gone when he's next to me
And I realize the blame is on me
'Cause I knew you were trouble when you walked in
So shame on me now
Flew me to places I'd never been
'Til you put me down, oh
I knew you were trouble when you walked in
So shame on me now
Flew me to places I'd never been
Now I'm lying on the cold hard ground
Finn: I'm sure if he still made weapons, Artie would be neck deep-
Artie: Wait-Wait! Hold on! How is this now about me?
Finn: I'm sorry, isn't everything?
Quinn: I thought humans were more evolved than this.
(Everyone begins arguing over each other.)
Finn: No apologies, he'll never see you cry
Pretend he doesn't know that he's the reason why
You're drowning, you're drowning, you're drowning
Now I heard you moved on from whispers on the street
A new notch in your belt is all I'll ever be
And now I see, now I see, now I see
He was long gone when he met me
And I realize the joke is on me, yeah!
Will: Excuse me, did we come to your planet and blow stuff up?
Quinn: I am Earth's champion.
Will: You're not my champion!
Brittany: Are you guys really that naive? TITANS monitors potential threats.
Artie: (to Quinn and Finn) You furious? I'm furious.
Sam: (to Brittany) And Captain America is a threat?
Brittany: (to Sam) We all are!
Will: That's not your concern!
Brittany: I knew you were trouble when you walked in
So shame on me now
Flew me to places I'd never been
'Til you put me down, oh
I knew you were trouble when you walked in
So shame on me now
Flew me to places I'd never been
Now I'm lying on the cold hard ground
(As they argue over one another, we see the scepter glow strongly behind them.)
Artie: (to Finn) You're on that list? Are you above or below angry bees?
Finn: I swear to God, Artie, one more crack...
Artie: You're a threat. Verbal threat! I feel threatened!
Finn: Show some respect!
Artie: Respect what!
Sam: (to Quinn) Yeah man handle me now, that'll be good!
Sam: And the saddest fear comes creeping in
That you never loved me, or her, or anyone, or anything, yeah
I knew you were trouble when you walked in
So shame on me now
Flew me to places I'd never been
'Til you put me down, oh
I knew you were trouble when you walked in (you were right there, you were right there)
So shame on me now
Flew me to places I'd never been
Now I'm lying on the cold hard ground
(Cur to the interior of a jet approaching the helicarrier. On a screen in the jet is Lauren's scepter. Inside men working for Lauren put on masks and load weapons. Santana readies her bow.)
Roderick: (over radio) Transport six-six-five-oh. Please relay your form code. Got you on the computer but not on the data log. What is your haul? Over.
Pilot: Arms and ammunition. Over.
(Cut back to the lab, with everyone arguing.)
Quinn: You speak of control, yet you court chaos!
Sam: It's her MO, isn't it? I mean, what are we, a team? No, no, no. We're a chemical mixture that makes chaos. We're- we're a time bomb.
Will: You need to step away.
Artie: Why shouldn't the guy let off a little steam?
Finn: You know damn well why! Back off!
Artie: Oh, I'm starting to want you to make me.
Finn: Yeah, big man in a suit of armor. Take that off, what are you?
Artie: Genius, billionaire, playboy, philanthropist.
Finn: I know guys with none of that worth ten of you. I've seen the footage. The only thing you really fight for is yourself. You're not the guy to make the sacrifice play, to lay down on a wire and let the other guy crawl over you.
Artie: I think I would just cut the wire.
Finn: Always a way out. You know, you may not be a threat, but you better stop pretending to be a hero.
Artie: A hero, like you? You're a laboratory experiment, Finn. Everything special about you came out of a bottle.
(Cut back to the jet. The ramp opens and Santana nocks an arrow, takes aim and lets it loose. The arrow swings in the air and attaches to the side of one of the carrier's enormous engines, flashing.
Back in the lab, tensions are still high. Finn smirks.)
Finn: Put on the suit, let's go a few rounds.
Quinn: (laughs) You people are so petty, and tiny.
Sam: Yeah, this is a team.
All: I knew you were trouble when you walked in
Trouble, trouble, trouble
I knew you were trouble when you walked in
Trouble, trouble, trouble
Will: Brittany, would you escort Sam back to his-
Sam: Where? You're renting my room!
Will: The cell was just-
Sam: In case you needed to kill me. But you can't, I know, I tried! (He stops, everyone is staring at him) I got low. I didn't see an end so I put a bullet in my mouth and the other guy spit it out. So I moved on, I focused on helping other people. (He slowly backs away) I was good until you dragged me back into this freak show and put everyone here at risk. You wanna know my secret, Brittany? You wanna know how I stay calm?
(Everyone is watching Sam, Will and Brittany reach for their guns.)
Finn: Sam. (The other boy looks at him) Put down the scepter.
(Sam looks down, surprised, to see the spear in his hand. The monitor makes a noise, signaling the Tesseract has been located.)
Will: Got it!
Sam: (putting the scepter back on the table) Sorry, kids. You don't get to see my party trick after all. (He walks over to the screen on the other side of the room)
Quinn: You've located the Tesseract?
Artie: I can get there faster.
Finn: Look, all of us-
Quinn: The Tesseract belongs on Asgard, no human is a match for it.
(Artie turns to leave and Finn holds him back.)
Finn: You're not going alone!
(Artie smacks his hand away)
Artie: You gonna stop me?
Finn: Put on the suit, let's find out!
Artie: I'm not afraid to hit an old man.
Finn: Put on the suit.
(Sam sees something on the monitor.)
Sam: Oh my god.
(Cut back to the jet. Santana kneels down and presses a button on her bow. The arrow head explodes. The blast destroys one of the engines in a huge explosion.
Cut back to the lab. Everyone in the lab goes flying in different directions. Will and Quinn fall to the ground behind the table. Artie and Finn are blown to the entry way. Sam and Brittany fly out of the lab and into the lower equipment room.
Outside, huge pieces of flaming debris fall to earth. And then alarms begin to ring.)
A/N: Gleevengers Playlist:
Sympathy For The Devil by The Rolling Stones, sung by Lauren
I Knew You Were Trouble by Taylor Swift, sung by The Gleevengers
And now we'll back to some more action! Hopefully you're all not distracted by thinking about the screaming goat version of this song.