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"Anorexics are by nature, perfectionists. They are people with a history of trying to be "best". They have behaviour patterns where they try to be the fastest, the smartest, the most respected - the thinnest. They also generally see things in black and white - Good or bad, Pass or failure , loved or unloved. This thought pattern places emphasis on one extreme quality and the perfectionist trait causes them to strive for it. In terms of weight and physical appearance, this means that they see thin as good, and therefore the thinner the better.
A factor that has confused many for centuries, is an anorexics apparent obsession with food. A behaviour trait is the compulsion to be around food as much as possible. They make no effort to avoid food, and in one case study a young anorexic girl would wonder a shop all day picking up various foods, and putting them back. One theory for this is that they get pleasure from denying themselves the food they are in the presence off. It gives them confidence, a feeling of achievement and control, to deny what they crave. In much the same way an alcoholic will know they have conquered their addiction to alcohol, when they can deny themselves a drink, so anorexics think they have conquered their control of food.
Anorexic individuals are starving. There bodies crave food, and go through the same process as if there was a famine despite the fact that they deny themselves.
The causes of this abnormality are unknown, but many accepted theories are that it is a learnt behaviour, is a demonstration of desire for control, and that it has strong connections to a persons physical appearance and the social opinion on beauty and acceptance…"
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Remus was exhausted. After a restless night, he had to teach his lessons, on top of going to the libery to research, and now he had returned to his new quarters to find nothing but empty rooms. Heaving a heavy sigh, Remus put away his 6th year essays, and hide the parchment with his research on it in-between page 132 and 133 of "DADA Advance" in his office.
Satisfied, that the information would be safe from Severus discovering it, Remus walked into the kitchen, intending to make dinner. Hopfully it will be better then yesterdays.
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Severus grumbled to himself all the way down to the dungeons. There was no particular reason for it, but by now it had become a habit, and a hard one to break. Muttering the password, he entered his private quarters quietly becoming quickly predatory, casting his gaze around for the intruder, as Lupin had become dubbed.
Seeing the living room empty, and a clear line of exit right into his bedroom, Severus could only conclude Lupin was in the kitchen, bathroom, or his own room. Either way, Severus had no intention of seeing Lupin if he could possible avoid it, and he quickly dashed into his bedroom, closing his door a bit louder then he intended too.
Heaving a sigh of relief, he took off his heavy outer robe and waist coat, rolling his shoulders to try and relive the ach that had settled in his bones. He had only just taken off his boots, when a firm knock rang through his door, and Lupin poked his head around the door. Severus all but bristled at the unwelcome intruders appearance, but he hid it well, knowing he needed to keep Lupin sweet.
"Is there anything you want?" Severus asked, placing his boots under his bed.
Remus said nothing, but walked into the room. This was the first time Snape noticed he was carrying a plate and a glass. The plate held a single slice of toast, and the glass an inch or two of what appeared to be water.
"Maybe, we should try this a little slower," was all Lupin said, as he placed the items on the bedside cabinet.
Severus said nothing, merely stared at the repulsive items with a look of pure hate.
"There is only a tiny bit of low fat butter on the toast, and the drink is some sugar free lemonade. Nothing as drastic as soup. Please Severus, this is not even going to make a dent on your weight, but at least it's a start. You need the energy…"Remus trailed off. He was once again assaulted by the realisation that he has no idea what he was doing. He also felt guilt; that toast had the fattest butter on the market, and the drink was practically pure sugar, specially made by Poppy, and the lies he told Severus were bitter in his mouth. But if it was the only way…
Severus was still staring at the food with a look that was a mix of hate and fear.
"I'm not hungry," came a small answer.
"One bite and the whole drink then. Please, just try," Remus pleaded. "This will be the first thing you have eaten in days, maybe weeks. Just one bite, one mouthful. That's all I ask for today."
Remus by this point had sat next to the Potions master, and Severus became acutely aware of the heat the other man emitted.
Swallowing his pride, his fear and weight being more important, Severus slowly turn and leaned into the werewolf, nuzzling into his neck and whispering against his skin :
"I can't. I'm not hungry. I'm fine! Honest. I don't see why you and Dumbledore think this is such a big deal. I can look after myself," Severus whispered, wrapping a cold hand around the werewolf's elbow slowly caressing the area with his thumb.
Remus could barley hold in the shudder that the warm breath dancing across his skin caused.
"If you were fine, you would not be so adverse to eating anything. Please Severus. Its not much…" Remus trailed off. He felt the cool, delicate hand on his arm tighten, and the breath on his neck begin to quicken. Ignoring the weight in his gut at the other mans obvious distress, Remus dragged himself out of the other mans grasp, stepping a safe distance away.
"One bite. Its not much to ask - and I don't think St Mungo's would be so patient with you as we are." It was a cruel, pathetic and risky thing to say, the threat making the werewolf's blood run cold , but he needed to try everything to make Severus realise how dangerous the situation he was in was.
He could see the man tense at his words, and the quick mind weigh up his options. Saw him eye the by now cold food with disgust, before raising his gaze back to the Griffindores. Lupin almost flinched at the burning hate the other mans eyes threw at him.
"You are the most perverted, depraved and vindictive creature I have ever had the misfortune to meet; and think carefully about who is saying that," Severus said in a quite reasonable voice, slowly standing up and sauntering towards the other man.
"Does it make you feel like a big bad wolf, knowing that if I don't do exactly what you want, that you have the power to ship me away from the only safe place I have ever known? Or is it a bit of nice neat revenge? But what ever for Lupin? For being a death eater? For hating Potter's precious little cherub? Or is it something else? Is it because I pushed you away? That, like the rest of society I did not want you near me, let alone touching me?" it was at this point that Severus reached the tawny haired man.
Reaching out, his hand a claw, Severus dragged the werewolfs head to his own, roughly kissing him, hurting him. Remus was a second away from relenting, and kissing back, the force only sparking a feral side of him, when Severus pulled away, long talon like fingers gripping the back of his neck.
"Hope you enjoyed that werewolf, because that is the last time I will ever voluntary touch you," Severus all but spat, dragging his hand away and storming off to his laboratory and slamming the door hard behind him.
Remus did not move for a few minute, just stood there shaking. Finally he moved, walking into his own room, laying on his bed, and breathing deeply as a few lone tears slid down his cheek.
And Severus, in his laboratory, was doing the same…
A/N
Sorry if I offended anyone with my depiction of Anorexia nervosa.
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