A/N: Oh my god, guys... Really, I've seen authors that has recieved more than 100 reviews, but when I caught the 11 reviews I received, it made me jump out of my desk, shit on my Biology homework, slaughter my siblings so they move out of the computer, and write faster than 1000 km per second. I LOVE YOU GUYS, SO MUCH! T_T. My heart exploded because of the amount of love for you guys! (Honestly, I had heartache when I was at the Gym, no joke!).
So yeah, I think I just broke a key in the keyboard :L. My siblings would be proud!
And yikes, I've just realized how much typos there is in this story o.o. Yes, I use Open Office, but I don't usually remember to reread it and fix the damn grammatical errors XD. Sorry for that, I promise It will be as few as possible from now on! Believe it! Yeah! Really!...Okay I'm not sure but...yeah. .
~ I just discovered cliffhangers are fun to write! ~
There they stood, eyes as wide as a baboon's ass, mouths gaping and reaching the buried dinosaur skeletons underground, heart racing with a jaguar, and tiny minds completely blank.
They stared at the figure inside of the cursed box, trying to understand why in the hell they are seeing a grayhaired Harry Potter Wanna-be in front of their shocked faces.
''...I don't remember smoking pot today, so why in the hell am I witnessing Harry Potter with gray hair?'' Sasori said, not realizing that he just revealed his illegal secrets, not that anyone heard him.
''Is that dyed, un?'' Deidara said, still having his eyes wide and mouth agape. Neither he or Sasori heard the ''un'' returning.
''Uhm...Hello, dear Akatsuki. I have an important case to tell you.''
''Is it only me, or this Harry Potter sounds kinda like that nerd, Orochimaru's sidekick, Kaboti or something...?'' Hidan said, amazed that someone could actually be this alike with someone else.
''Kabuto, please.'' The grayhaired Harry Potter Wanna-be, Kabuto, said.
''Kabuto? What the hell are you doing here?'' ''AND YOU BETTER GO BATH QUICKLY BEFORE YOU SPREAD OROCHIMARU'S PEDO-BACTERIA AROUND THE BASE!''
''Oh well, you see... It has been kinda dangerous staying in the Sound Village these days, because of some really...How should I say...frightening events...''
''...Orochimaru is pregnant.'' Said a shrill voice out of nowhere.
''...WHAT?''
The shrill voice's owner hopped out of the box, and revealed his face in front of the almost fainting Akatsuki members.
''I think I just heard that dog speak...'' Itachi couldn't believe his almost blind eyes, blaming it on Mangekyou Sharingan. But unfortunately, it wasn't only him. The Akatsuki members almost hopped out of their skin, staring horribly at the talking French Bulldog (google it and see how it looks like XD), that was currently glaring at them through barely visible eyes.
''Yes you heard the dog speak. Anyway, I am Zorba (I couldn't come up with something else..). I am a trained ninja dog, and ninja dogs can speak, in case you didn't know. Kabuto-san would be staying here until Orochimaru gives birth to whatever is in there. I will be staying with him to protect him from harm.'' Zorba said, glaring at each one of them, but stopped once his eyes landed on the crazed and horrified expression on a certain Jashinist's face.
''WHAT? You'll stay here?'' Hidan said in total panic.
''Well, it would be nice to have some company here. Why are you disagreeing?'' Kisame said.
''…..I'M GODDAMN ALLERGIC TO FUCKING DOGS!''
…...
''….''
'…'
…
(….)
Kakuzu smirked. 'Finally found a way to make the annoying dirtbag's life a living hell...Kukuku'
''Hidan...Your allergic? OF A DOG?'' Deidara couldn't believe his ears.
''Well yeah, its not like its my fault or something. Fucking born like this.'' Hidan looked at the dog, and he could've sworn he saw the damn mutt smirk at him.
''What the fuck are you smirking at, bitch?''
''Your deceased face.''
''Oh really? And your face is so fucking handsome I just wanna kiss it.''
''Go ahead?''
''You make me blush.''
''Anytime, Sweetiepie.''
''Fuck you, Honeymoon.''
''SHUT UP, YOU TWO!'' ''Geez, and I thought Kakuzu and Hidan is bad enough...''
''But the fucking shrimp is mocki- Aah...Ahh...WACHOOOOO..'' Hidan's face turned green.
''Hah! Take that, twerp!'' The dog grinned a toothy grin, showing off brown scrawny teeth.
''You ugly bastard! I'll fucking kill you! You just wai- HACHOOOO..''
The witnesses sweatdropped, watching in either amusement, amazement, rage or disbelief.
''Eh...Zorba, please be quiet so we can negotiate with them...'' Kabuto nervously said. After seeing what the dog was capable of saying, he developed a new respect for the mighty French Bulldog.
''Oh, alright, kid. Go on.''
''Ok. Uhm... You see, we really are glad you guys accepted...''
''OVER MY DEAD FRIKKIN' BODY!''
''Shut up, you disrespectful filth!'' The dog screeched.''Okay, Kabuto-san. Continue.''
''Yeah... So we think one week would be enough, because Orochimaru has been, uh...pregnant, for a long while, so its only fair we stay here a week.''
''NOT IF I HAVE ANY FUCKING SAY IN THIS!''
''DIDN'T I TELL YOU TO SHUT UP?''
''No, because I don't speak with fucking dogs!''
''Well, the dogs are speaking with you!''
''I don't give a flying cat!''
''You don't have one!''
''I see one in front of me!''
''Than you must be on crack!''
''SHUT UP, YOU DISGUSTING LITTL- ACHOOOO..''
&%$#*
Pein was in his and Konan's hotel room, listening to the sound of running water from the bathroom. Konan was taking a shower, and he was bored out of his mind. Again. He really didn't want to know how his life would be like if Konan wasn't there. He'd probably choose suicide. But not before killing all of the cockroaches that he was sure were currently causing a huge problem in the base! He could feel their evil smirks, their maniacal cackling, and greedy eyes. He should be planning how to get them back for that, because death, in his eyes, was too merciful. He'll make up the best punishment for them, and he'll make sure it was way worse than chatting with Tobi...
But now, he was in a vacation, and a vacation meant letting his brain rest for a while. Hell, he should just sit on his ass and eat junkfood and enjoy his life. Yes. That's it. He's doing it.
He walked over to the fridge, grabbing food that would probably gift him 4 kg once his done. He carried it to the table, and dropped it like he was dropping a duck in the sea. He took the remote control, and sat oh-so-gracefully on the couch. Switching the TV on Tom and Jerry, he somehow found himself thinking about Hidan and Kakuzu.
Yes, he knew Hidan's feelings better than the idiot himself. Kakuzu, however, was pretty good on hiding his feelings, but was failing hard on hiding the fact that he looked at Hidan when the Jashinist wasn't paying attention. It was obvious that Kakuzu felt something other than hate for Hidan, but the damned geezer wont admit it!
Why would Pein care, you'd ask? Well, its simple.
Well, not that simple, but a leader can hope, right?
Right, so he thought that if Hidan and Kakuzu finally admit their feelings and get together, it would be less bickering, thought he doubted it a little. But yeah, hope, remember?
%&£#^
''Fucker!''
''Brat!''
''Cocksucker!''
''Dograpist!''
''I don't rape dogs. I'm allergic!''
''That doesn't mean you don't look like a dograpist!''
''You know what? I should just use tape, put it on your squeaky mouth and ENJOY!''
''I'd like to see you try!''
''You asked for it!''
''I did!''
''You did!''
''Yes!''
''Yes!''
Hidan grabbed a nearby tape and lunged on the dog with a battle cry. He grabbed the dogs arms and held them above it's head. He used his other free hand and his mouth to pull on the tape's edge, and the tape came out. He grinned as his hand made it closer to the mutt's mouth, but it soon faded as the dog smirked and bit his hand. Hard.
He released the dog and held his hand, trying to ease the pain. The dog took the opportunity and jumped on the shrieking Jashinist's face, scratching. The Jashinist waved his hands violently around his abused face, trying to pry the crazed dog off of him, but unfortunately he accidentally poked his index finger in his eye, and swore on Jashin's holy book that he was going to send that fucking ogre straight to hell and right into Satan's asshole.
The dog jumped from the immortal's face, grinning in victory, but as soon as he saw the look on the Jashinist, he cursed his mother for giving birth to him.
Saying the loudmouth was pissed was an understatement. A dangerous understatement. His eyes were filled with bloodthirst that promised stinging death, and his left eye was bloodied due to the idiot poking his finger in it. The silverhaired dumbass was panting and looked like a angry bull, but instead of being angered by seeing red, dogs were the Jashinist's center of fury.
He pounced on the dog, and was about to literally tear him limb from limb until the dog somehow found an escape way and ran away.
'What a fucking coward! I swear when I get my hands on that little head of his I'll-'
''Hidan? Shit, what the hell did you do to your eye, you idiot!'' Kakuzu entered the room, not affected by the horrifying sight of blood. He was used to it anyway, with Hidan's sacrifices...
He opened a nearby nightstand and pulled out some bandages. Walking to the immortal, he stretched the bandage out and tied it around Hidan's head, covering his left eye. All the while he didn't notice the Jashinist's amethyst eye staring at him. Once he was done, he was about to stand up, but was pulled down by a hand grasping his wrist.
He looked back at the Jashinist, whose face was so close to his own that he could feel the other's breath. He noticed that Hidan was leaning farther, farther, almost there...
BAAAAM
The two immortals were sent flying into the wall, knocking off a few things on the way. They looked up, and both were endlessly pissed to see the dog standing there, grinning and holding a bazooka that he apparently used to shoot at them. They growled as they rushed to the dog, hurrying in case he decided to run away again.
Once they were a step away from him, he poofed away leaving a paperbomb on the floor were he stood.
''Kakuzu...''
''Yeah?''
''This will be painful...''
BOOOOOOOOOOOOOOM
Deidara and Tobi screamed as the floor beneath them began to shake. Thinking it was an earthquake, they hugged each other, apologizing for all of the regretful things.
''TOBI! Sorry I treated you like shit, un!''
''Senpai! Sorry Tobi never told you that he...'' Tobi got interrupted by a vase falling to the floor and chattering.
''You what, un...?'' Deidara looked at him wide eyed, thinking that the world would finally meet it's end.
''That he cut your hair in your sleep!''
...What?
''Tobi...''
''Y-Yeah Sempai?''
''Give me a knife.''
''Okay Sempai!'' The orangemasked idiot took a knife that was still laying on the table and handed it to Deidara.
''Now Tobi, give me your wrist.''
''Okay Sempai!''
''….''
''….''
''Well?''
''Tobi doesn't know what wrist is...''
''Kill me, God. Just fucking kill me...''
End chapter 7
Finally =_=. I'm so tired I just wanna lay on the bed and act like a pig. And really, finding names for dogs is harder than it sounds o.o. Lol, I know. Zorba sounds fishy... But hey, at least he is a little funny! And lol, I'll make sure that the upcoming war of Zorba Vs The Immortal Due will be full of heated antagonism XD.
Please review! It'll make my day!'
Winnie The Fatty ~