Chapter Seven

I Won't Say It

"Awe, jeez." I muttered as I looked at the trap Nick, Pete and I were checking. A walker was nibbling on a what I assumed to be a bunny, and it made me gag slightly. Nick lifted his rifle, pointing it at the back of the walkers head. I knew the sound would just attract more, so I took the situation into my own hands.

"I got it." I whispered as I pushed Nick's rifle down. Nick and Pete stared at me as I pulled my knife out of my pocket. As I advanced towards the walker I whistled, grabbing it's attention. It had finished the bunny, and was now coming after me. This didn't phase me though, I had spend months on my own having to deal with things like this all on my own, besides I had Nick and Pete there if anything went south.

The walker growled at me, stumbling in my direction. I flipped my knife around in my hand a few times before stepping towards the decaying walker, stabbing it straight through the head before it could even reach for me. "Impressive." Pete applauded me as I pulled my dagger out of the walkers head. I wiped the blood off on the ground, slipping my knife back into my jeans. "Living on your own for a few months around all of them, you pick up things. If there's ever more than one, you gotta be stealthy and kill them on at a time, unless you're in a group of course." I explained as we began to walk back to camp. "But if there's just one- it's easier to anticipate it's movements when you have it's attention. You never know if when you walk up behind it, it won't chew your arm off." I frowned, thinking back to Lee and the others. I had almost forgotten that Lee had been bit when we were in Savannah... I knew Clemetine shot him, which pained me even more. She shouldn't have to grow up in this world- but she could survive, I know she could.

"Tasha?" I looked over at Nick who was staring at me. "Mhmm?" I blinked a few times, staring into his bright blue eyes. "Are you okay?" He asked after a few seconds as we continued to walk, Pete had already taken whatever animals we could get into a tent, and we were walking towards the table where everyone was eating. "Oh- uh, yeah. Why do you ask?" I couldn't look at him, all I could think of was how good he made me feel whenever he looked at me- hell whenever I was around him I felt good, I felt genuinely, really happy with him. "You don't look too good..." Nick touched my shoulder, causing me to glance at his hand. I slowly pulled out of his grip. "I just - I don't feel good- I'm gonna go... lay down." I replied as I began to walk to my tent, quickly stepping into my tent and putting my hand to my forehead. "What am I doing?" I muttered to myself, slowly walking over to my bed.

I stared up at the ceiling, thinking of all the choices I had made in the past few years. I never thought all this would happen; I never thought the dead would start walking. I never thought that Ben Paul- the boy I had been best friends with, and secretly madly in love with- would die from a two story fall... I never thought I'd be able to feel that way again... Feel the way Ben made me feel... It was stupid to think for a moment Nick and I would ever be more than this; friends. But deep down, a part of me couldn't resist wondering what it would be like to have him kiss me, or even hug me...

There would always be a guilt that formed in my chest whenever I thought of any man- I knew that. I knew that deep down, Ben was my first true love. But that's what he was; my first. He was gone now and I... Had to allow myself to be happy. I knew if I kept shutting people out I would die just like Ben, and I didn't want his death to be in vain...

I needed to stop thinking about him... The more I did the sadder I felt, and the worse my depression consumed me. I knew fully well I couldn't talk about him without dying inside, which made me realize the more I thought of him the more I was already dying inside. I had to allow my feelings for Nick to grow and I had to put myself out there, even if I'm terrified.

I stood after a few moments, running my fingers through my long, curly hair. I needed to think, and I knew fully well I did that best when I was outside in the fresh air. I walked to the fence like Carver had set up to keep the walkers at bay long enough for the people on guard to dispose of them. It was a good idea, but I always wondered why Carver never talked to me since I joined the group...

"Hey." I looked up to see Nick standing a few feet away. I smiled, feeling a blush creeping on to my cheeks. "Hey." I replied, looking back up at the stars. He walked over to me, looking up at the stars, too. "Are you feelin' better?" I was silent for a moment, glancing at him from the corner of my eye. "A bit, yeah." I replied slowly, looking down at the ground awkwardly. I wasn't good with expressing emotion to people, especially when they were someone I really cared about. I was always afraid I'd fuck up.

"Just a bit?" Nick was facing me now, I could feel his gaze on me and it sent shivers up my spine. I nodded in response, looking everywhere but at him. I knew if I looked at him, there wasn't any going back. "Do you wanna talk about it?" I could feel him move closer to me, causing me to stiffen. I was so afraid that if I told him how I felt he'd reject me, or I'd fall helplessly in love with him and I'd lose him...

I didn't respond, staring down at my hands now leaning against the railing. Nick placed his hand on my shoulder, relaxing me slightly. "I'm here for you... You can talk to me, Tasha."

I sighed as I looked up at the stars. "I'm scared." I admitted, unable to look him in the eyes. I felt Nick move closer to me, his hand now just barely grazing against mine, causing shivers down my spine. "What are you scared of?" He asked quietly, looking over at me intently.

"Of losing the people I care about..." I took a deep breath, staring up at the starlit sky. "I'm afraid of losing you, your mom, Pete, Becca, Alvin... Luke." My voice trailed off as I closed my eyes. "I don't think I'd be able to make it if I lost any of you..."

Nick slowly placed his hand on my cheek, causing my eyes to jump to his. He had a soft, yet sad expression on his face. "You won't lose me." I shook my head, looking away from him. My heart fluttered when he started to rub my cheek, causing fear to slip into my heart once more. How could I trust him? I swore to myself I wouldn't give someone the power to break my heart, and yet in that moment I couldn't help but fall ever so helplessly for him. "You don't know that... You could get shot by bandits, you could g-get bit, you-" Nick forced me to look at him, tears forming in my eyes. I didn't realize but he was so close now that our bodies were nearly touching. "No... You won't lose me. I promise."

I gazed up into Nick's bright blue eyes, unable to look away. His fingers slowly brushed against my lips as he leaned down, our eyes never leaving each other's. Slowly, he pressed his lips against mine, causing my eyes to widen. Could he possibly have fallen for me to? Nick pulled away, his cheeks flushed. "I'm sorry- I, I shouldn't have-" I leaned up, kissing him gently to shut him up. Nick let out a soft, relieved breath, slowly moving his hands to my waist and pulling me against him. He kissed me slowly, cautiously- almost as if he was afraid I'd pull away and reject him. I wrapped my arms around his neck, pulling him as close to me as possible. I wanted him to know I never wanted him to stop... I never wanted him to let me go.

After a few minutes, we pulled away from each other. Both of our faces were flushed, and my lips were still tingling from the sensation. It had been so long since I felt this way- I felt loved, and wanted, and I wasn't as afraid of him hurting me. Nick smiled at me sheepishly as he intertwined his fingers between mine. "I'll- uh- walk you to your tent."

When we reached my tent, I never wanted to let go of his hand. I leaned up, giving him a gently peck on the lips. Before he could walk away, I felt the sadness consume me. "Nick?"

Nick turned back to me, a soft expression on his face. "Yeah?"

"Can you stay with me until I fall asleep?"

I laid down on my bed, smiling as Nick laid beside me. I laid on my side so I could look at him, pulling his hat off and setting it behind him. He rolled his eyes as he pulled the blankets over me, leaning on his elbow while I cuddled into the blankets. Nick ran his thumb across my lip as I giggled, reaching up to hold his hand. I interlocked my fingers between his slowly, smiling as I began to feel sleep take over me.

***************Nick POV*****************

Nick stared at Tasha as she slept. It hadn't taken her long to fall asleep, but Nick didn't want to leave her side. He could hear her soft breathing, and every so often he could just faintly hear her heart beat. Never in a million years did he think that Tasha would have ever liked him back... It was just enough to spend time with her, but he was glad she didn't reject him.

He could tell she lost a lot: hell, everyone had... But there was something about her- whenever Nick looked in her eyes he could see the sadness and pain behind them, and he wished desperately he could take it away. He found himself becoming more protective of Tasha, and with that becoming more attached. Nick had been worried that Tasha and Luke had been seeing each other, but both seemed hardly interested in each other anymore.

Nick frowned as Tasha began to move in her sleep, the peaceful sleep becoming less and less peaceful as the seconds went on.

"No..." Tasha muttered in her sleep, causing Nick to jump slightly. "No stop it..."

Nick didn't know what to do... He knew she was sleeping, but never thought she'd have such bad nightmares like this. "I won't leave you!" Tasha yelled in a whisper. He could hear the broken tone in her voice, and it made his heart ache.

Nick placed his hand on her waist, pulling Tasha against his chest. "Shh, it's okay, Tash." He soothed her quietly, rubbing her back as she curled into him. "I won't let anyone hurt you."

It was true. He would never let anyone hurt her. She deserved to be happy and he wasn't going to let anything or anyone take that happiness away.

A/N: Once again I would just like to thank you all for reading and leaving such lovely reviews c: it means a lot!

Celebrityfan: Awe c: thank you so much

Fandoms for the win: hehe c: I love Nick don't worry I plan to keep writing!

A fan: the next chapter should have a lot more action (: thank you for liking my story.

GoldenLombaxGirl : I'm glad you're enjoying this.