Summer for Andrew started before summer for Neil.
While he'd been expecting it, hell, he'd been looking forward to it, there was one thing he'd completely forgotten.
Kevin.
He had completely forgotten that Andrew would be bringing Kevin back to the house in Colombia, because of course he would, he won't leave Kevin at Palmetto. It was basically unspoken between them. That's probably why it actually did take Neil by surprise. They hadn't spoken about it.
They had also stopped coming to Colombia after Kevin joined the group. Which Neil didn't mind as much at the end of the school year as he did at the beginning, because he'd pretty much learned to keep himself occupied most of the time.
Neil made his way home on a Friday afternoon, excited to find Andrew's car in the driveway. He unlocks the door, pushes it open, takes a deep breath to call out for Andrew, and abruptly swallows all of it as his eyes land on Kevin Day, sitting in the living room with a sullen expression, the remote in one hand and a cast on the other. He starts coughing.
And he's not the only one. When Kevin's bright green eyes follow the sound of hacking and find Neil standing in the entryway, he nearly swallows his own tongue in shock and surprise.
Neil doesn't need to ask him if Kevin remembers him, that's for sure. It's plain and clear on the look of sheer and utter terror that encompasses Kevin's refined features.
"What the fuck are you doing?"
Andrew's voice pulls his eyes away from Kevin, searching out his blond partner, who was coming out of the kitchen with Neil's lemon Italian ice.
"Shit, Andrew that's mine." Neil complains without heat as he finally gets his gag-reflex under control.
Andrew merely raises an eyebrow before turning his hazel eyes to Kevin, who looked like he'd just witnessed cannibalism.
"What the fuck's his problem?"
Neil's snort surprised himself. The amusement at the situation making him feel a little out-of-body.
"He's shocked to see me. Especially looking like myself." He toed off his shoes and strode into his house, stole Andrew's spoon and dug out a spoonful of his Italian ice, before turning back to the stunned man sitting on the couch watching all of this play out. "Hi, Kevin. It's good to see you again." And he meant it, in more ways than just the obvious.
Kevin choked again before he could get himself back together.
"N-Nathaniel!?" He yelled, probably louder than was strictly needed.
"Na-who?" Nicky asked, coming down the stairs.
Andrew tensed beside Neil, but Neil shook his head slightly.
"Nothing Nicky. Kevin just saw a player he recognized in the game." Neil lied smoothly and smiled at the tall cousin. "It's good to have you guys back. It's been a while Nicky."
Nicky gave Neil a weird look before he smiled wide and mischievous again. "I see you've met Kevin. So, what do you think? Is he as hot in person as he is on tv?"
Andrew snorted, but Neil just shrugged.
"I guess. I don't really swing so it's more a useless observation for me." Neil admitted as he studied Kevin, who now looked very uncomfortable.
Nicky squawked, catching the attention of everyone in the room.
"What do you mean you don't swing? You're gay. I mean, look at you and Andrew?" He gestured vaguely to his cousin and Neil did. He took in the unimpressed look on Andrew's handsome face. Took in the loose and long pair of jeans, probably one of Neil's, and the slightly clingy black t-shirt with the armbands Neil had bought him. His hair was messy and still wet from what was probably a shower he'd taken not too long ago.
Neil smiled at the picture. "You didn't dry your hair properly again."
Andrew scowled back. "Bite me, Mother Hen." With that, the blond man turned on his heel and walked back into the kitchen, another spoon of the lemon Italian ice in his mouth.
Neil snorted while Nicky smiled.
Suddenly, a hand wrapped around his forearm and Neil reacted before he could think better of it, a hard palm to the solar plexus had Kevin doubled over, heaving for breath, but it did get him to let go.
"Shit, sorry there, Kevin. You probably shouldn't do that again." Neil said as he carefully pats the taller man's back. Kevin batted his hand away with a glare.
"What the fuck are you doing here?" The man hissed, fear and anger in his eyes, making the number 2 tattoo on his cheek look more pronounced.
"Neil lives here." Nicky answered instead, looking between the two of them with interest and curiosity. This wasn't going to end well if they had this conversation out here with Nicky listening in, so Neil turned to Kevin with a raised eyebrow.
"Let's go for a run." He said, grabbing Kevin's arm and dragging him away.
"Aw come on guys! I wanna gossip too!" Nicky whined, following behind them.
Neil turned sharply and leveled a look at the nosy cousin. "Not now Nicky." He said lowly, just as he saw Andrew come out of the kitchen behind Nicky, heading for them.
"Come on, Neil, please? I hate being left out of….whatever this is." Nicky insisted, his smile still in place. When Andrew was finally behind him, Neil saw his entire body seize up as Andrew passed.
"I hate that word. Don't use it." Andrew said with a cold glance, before he opened the door and walked out in front of everyone.
Neil made to follow, Kevin's arm still in his grip. Kevin followed almost numbly.
Instead of the walk Neil had wanted, Andrew headed straight for the car, Neil at his heels with Kevin dragged along.
Once all of them were in the car, they started driving aimlessly.
It took a moment for Kevin to gather his thoughts, but when he did, he started yelling.
"What the fuck are you doing here?! Do you know who he is?! Send him away! Send him away now Andrew, or I-"
"Or you'll what, Kevin?" Andrew asked, flicking a glance at Kevin from the rearview mirror.
Instantly Kevin fell silent and the blond was back to driving.
Neil sighed, debating how best to face this conversation, until he figured it was easier to just go headlong.
"My name's not Nathaniel anymore. Just call me Neil." Kevin opened his mouth to retort, but Neil continued over him. "No. I'm serious. Shut up for a second and maybe you'll learn something."
Well that seemed to work as Kevin quieted. The furious expression though, Neil could have done without.
"Did you know you have an aunt?" Neil asked almost casually.
It apparently caught Kevin by surprise because the man reeled back and gaped, green eyes going wide before his head began to shake.
"N-no. No I don't. My mom was the only family…The Mast-T-Tetsuji said my mom was estranged. He told me she wanted him to take me in if anything happened to her." Kevin said softly, his eyes going distant.
"Of course he did." Andrew muttered.
Kevin's gaze sharped. "What do you mean by that?"
"He means," Neil began again, a little impatiently. "He lied to you. Just like he lies about everything. Kevin, you have an aunt who is still alive. Your mother's sister, Kenna. After your mother's murder, she fled Ireland to England. My family helped hide her for years before she left the UK and set off on her own. We don't know where she is now, but we have people looking for her."
That seemed to be a little too much for Kevin because it looked like his brain had overloaded. He slumped back into his seat and stared at his hands, moving the fingers of the one in a cast just slightly and wincing in apparent pain. They drove for nearly twenty minutes before Kevin was able to speak again.
"You said murdered." He said, his tone quiet. "How do you know?"
Neil and Andrew shared a look.
They'd honestly expected Kevin to protest. To rant and rave and flip shit, because that's the Kevin they were used to. Did Kevin harbor doubt about his mother's death all his life, or was this new meekness a product of Riko breaking his dominant hand?
"Your aunt." Neil answered when Andrew gave a slight shrug. "Your aunt is the proof."
"And how do you know she's real?" Kevin's head came up, giving both of them a weary gaze. "How do I know she's real?"
Having expected that, Neil pulled out a burner phone. If he were being honest, he actually missed his smartphone. Pictures were clearer and it was always so much faster to load. As it was, he flipped his phone open and dialed Uncle Stuart.
The man picked up after three rings.
"Hey, kid. How you doing? You're not in trouble, are you?"
"No, sir. I need that file you have on Kenna Day sent to my dummy email in the next two hours, can you do it?"
There was a long silence in the other end before Stuart spoke again.
"Why?"
"We have Kevin Day in the back seat of our car."
Stuart grunted once before he paused again.
"Consider it done. Get to a secure line and I'll send them. Do I have to warn you what could happen if that information gets out?"
"No, sir."
"Good. If that's it, I've gotta go. Be safe, kid."
"Bye."
When he hung up, he spoke out loud to both Andrew and Kevin.
"Stuart is sending the files through an encrypted line. We'll go to an internet café." Neil said as he pulled out his actual phone and called up Manny.
"Neil!" The man's happy greeting echoed a bit in the phone's speakers.
"Manny, how are you?" Neil asked warmly, smiling a bit.
"I'm alright, kid. But this isn't a usual call is it. What do you need?"
"Can you set up something secure for me? I'll give you the IP when I get there, but I'll need it for about 10 minutes."
"Hell, kid, of course I can. Text me the IP and I'll get it done, I'll let you know when you're good."
"Thanks, Manny."
"Don't worry about it. Did you get the contract from Palmetto yet?"
"No, sir, but I just met Kevin Day."
"Oh man, are you serious? That's awesome! I heard about that accident with his hand."
"Wasn't an accident Manny. Riko smashed his hand with a racquet."
Manny instantly quieted. Anger thundering in the phone line.
"Did your Uncle find Kenna?" Manny asked lowly.
"Not yet, but he has Az on it. It shouldn't take more than 5 or 6 months."
"I'll tell Connor."
And with that, Manny hung up.
Without word or comment, Andrew pointed the car towards the nearest internet café while Kevin stared at Neil like he was insane.
"What did you just do?" He asked a little incredulously.
"I reached out to a contact I have in the Irish mob. They weren't happy when the Moriyamas orchestrated your mother's death, especially since Tetsuji was only allowed on Irish soil under a pact of peace. The fact that he murdered one of the most promising prospects for Ireland and took her kid away haven't made the mob very friendly towards the Yakuza." Neil answered flippantly.
Kevin looked like he was going to stroke out.
"T-the Irish mob? You know what they are? You know about the Moriyama? If you know the danger they pose, why the fuck are you still here? We thought you went with your mother back to the Hatfords." There wasn't much heat in Kevin's voice. He was still trying to come to terms with everything he's been hearing and what it all meant.
"Because we've got a plan." Neil told him simply. Andrew's hand came up to sink into Neil's auburn hair, his grip tight but not pulling. Neil relaxed a bit in his seat, the tension he hadn't noticed instantly calming. "When the news of Kenna Day's existence sheds light on Kayleigh Day's death, Tetsuji will be under investigation by more than just the Feds. A high-profile crime like that, and on foreign soil? Not to mention the rest of the criminal families. The Moriyamas have been making more enemies than allies here in the US ever since they were pushed out of Japan. The Irish and the Russians being just the main players in this game. With my Uncle keeping them from expanding into Europe in an attempt to reach Japan again, they've had to sink their claws into the US as quickly as possible and that's never okay with the more established families. If its proven that the Moriyamas killed Kayleigh Day, either the authorities are going to shred the Moriyamas apart, or the other families will. Either way, their days are pretty much numbered."
Kevin was breathing fast, hyperventilating with an overflow of emotions Neil couldn't help him with.
Kevin's lived in fear of the Moriyamas all his life. He grew up with Riko and saw the very worst of them, but he was also raised by them. What Riko did to his hand, while that betrayal had been enough for him to run, it hadn't been enough for him to let go completely. But the possibility that Tetsuji killed his mother, with the implication of that, Kevin was left without any ground to stand on. He just needed proof of his aunt. He needed that and he'd finally be free.
Andrew and Neil had spent a lot of time talking about that too. Of a way to free Kevin sooner than just 'last minute' as they had before. This was what they'd come up with. Just like with Matt, they were going to break him down completely before he could build himself back up, and the beginning of that was here. With the proof of Kenna Day's existence.
The three of them piled into the internet café and rented a computer. Neil sent the IP address to Manny and waited for him to bounce the connection.
Once that was done, he pulled up the dummy email and opened the file and there, on the very first page was a picture.
It was a generic, ID type picture, but the features were clear and that was all Kevin needed to see to know who the woman was. Her and his mother could have almost been twins. Wild red hair bushed with tight little curls and slightly haunted deep green eyes. She was pale and looked like she hadn't slept soundly in a while, but there was no mistaking her, especially for Kevin.
He didn't stick around. One look at the picture and he turned tail and ran out of the café. Andrew watched him go from his spot beside Neil's chair as Neil deleted the file, deleted the email account altogether, and then signed out of the computer.
When they walked out of the café moments later, it was to find Kevin dry heaving not too far from the entrance. He hadn't even made it to the ally next to the café.
"Come on." Andrew called tonelessly to both of the other men. "We have vodka at the house."
Kevin went. Silent and pale and shaken. He looked like someone going through withdrawal.
Neil didn't blame him.
~!~!
"It was a risk." Andrew said that night after they'd left Kevin to sleep off his drunken stupor on the living room couch.
"It was a calculated risk." Neil retorted, grabbing pj pants that looked like they belonged to Andrew. They'd be short, but whatever, and pulling them on.
"It was still a risk."
"It was a risk that worked. This, this is how we help him move forward. This is how we change. He won't live in fear of them for the whole year like before. He won't continue tricking himself with a fake sense of freedom anymore. If he knows we've got a plan to beat them, if he knows what really happened to his mother, then he'll fight."
"Kevin's a coward. You expect too much of him."
Andrew laid on his back in their bed, his hands behind his head and his eyes staring blankly up at the ceiling, face slack and expressionless.
"Maybe he was, but maybe now he doesn't have to be. I thought we agreed about this." Neil probed, a bit annoyed with the attitude all of a sudden.
Andrew looked at him for a moment before going back to the ceiling. "It's easier when it's just us. I trust you. I don't trust Kevin."
And suddenly, Neil understood.
Andrew was unnerved. Having to tell someone about what they are planning made them vulnerable if that person opened their mouth. This was a race to find Kenna Day, and if they didn't manage it first, they would need to find another way to fight and Andrew wasn't sure there was another way. Going after the Moriyamas by themselves wasn't going to be possible, they were too well protected, too isolated up in their castle, and hell if they'd ever be able to find Ichiro or Kengo.
"I trust Kevin." Neil told him, coming over to lay on his stomach next to Andrew, looking at the man's face as the man looked at the ceiling.
"You'd trust the devil if it wasn't your father." Andrew muttered.
Neil smiled a little at that. They both knew that wasn't true. Not in the beginning. It was being forced to trust Andrew that had taught him how to trust other people.
"Better to trust than to live as a paranoid rabbit."
"Better to live as a paranoid rabbit than die with a knife in your back."
"Oh, and since when are you so worried about dying."
"I'm not worried."
"You just don't want to."
Andrew didn't respond, which was a response all its own. Neil's smile grew.
Like Neil, Andrew knew that death was inevitable. Andrew had been waiting for it all his life, not really caring if he did or didn't. Yet now, he'd given Neil another part of himself. He'd given Neil his want to live. To keep living like this until they couldn't anymore.
Andrew hated words like 'always' and 'forever' because they were lies. Pipedreams that never lasted. That's why the blond never accepted them. Never put any stalk in them. But for him to want it, to want this for as long as he could have it…it meant something.
"Yes or no?" Neil asked carefully, keeping his body still.
"Yes." Andrew answered, not carefully, not even really thinking about it.
Neil turned to his side and curled in until his head touched Andrew's ribs. He pressed his forehead against Andrew's body and listened to his heart beating loud and strong.
"I want to keep this too." Neil said simply. The blond didn't answer, but Neil wasn't expecting one.
They stayed like that for a long while before Neil started to drift into sleep. He didn't feel it when Andrew got up to turn off the lights, but he did feel it when Andrew came back to bed and laid down behind him, curling his body almost into Neil's back and sliding an arm under the pillow under his head. Their bodies didn't touch, but the heat was comforting. It was enough. Would Always be enough.
~!~!
Kevin didn't talk about it again, and neither did Neil or Andrew.
When they woke up, Nicky and Neil worked on breakfast for the five of them, and then Kevin and Neil went for a run, and when they came back, Kevin pushed all of them to go to the court.
Aaron and Nicky, used to Kevin by now, but no less annoyed at being dragged out of the house on a Saturday, went with very sour faces, while Neil was almost vibrating with excitement.
He hadn't played with Kevin in years, despite having been beaten by Kevin's team not three months before this little adventure began. He remembered how Kevin was, but to an extent, he'd missed the other man's intensity. His drive to get better and his fire that pushed everyone around him to keep up or get the fuck off the court. Kevin came alive in the court. It was both his worst and his best trait.
It was made even more sweet when Kevin actually saw him play. He was better than he'd been during his freshman year at Palmetto, and all the Raven drills he'd been doing all school year had improved his ball handling, his aim, and the weight lifting with Andrew had improved the strength of his throws. Kevin was left with very little to yell about, but he did yell.
It was also the first time he'd seen Andrew actively participate too. Neil thought that it was that moment that Kevin figured out there was something going on between him and Andrew, because when it was Neil he was up against, it was like a fire lit inside Andrew. If you squinted, you could see that he started caring about the outcome of this impromptu little shootout.
Aaron and Nicky were amazed by it, since only Nicky had seen the two train together, but not like this. Months running drills by himself and with nothing better to do than push and develop his body, Neil was scoring just as much as he was being blocked and it obviously frustrated Andrew, who in turn put more effort into anticipating and blocking Neil's shots. The blond goalie sent every ball he'd managed to block flying straight at Neil's head, while Neil just laughed like it was a joke and took another shot.
By the look on Kevin's face by the end of that day's practice, he'd wanted desperately to pick up his own racquet and get the fuck in that court.
He had another few weeks in the cast, but everyone knew that as soon as it was off, he'd be back in the court, playing no matter how.
That set the bar for the rest of their summer.
While Nicky and Aaron opted out of early summer Exy practice, Neil and Andrew took Kevin to the court nearly every day. They watched him go through his physical therapy, watched him yell at them about what they were doing wrong, watched him try out his left hand for his first time, until Neil told him to just use his right until his left was strong enough again. Then, they watched him go through drills using his right hand.
It was three weeks into the summer that Neil's Palmetto State contract came in. He signed and sent it back without even reading it.
~!~!
Summer practices weren't set to start until Monday, June 10th, so all 5 of them had everything ready on Saturday and they hit the road on Sunday. Wymack agreed to open the Fox Tower a night earlier for them because of Neil's physical. Neil wondered a moment if he would still be roommates with Matt, but he let the thought go. With Neil being the newest member of the team, he had to get through the physical and the drug tests. It would be Abby's first time seeing Neil's scars and he remembered the reaction she'd had before. Maybe this time, he could give her more than a blank stare.
The trip out to Palmetto for summer practices was more packed than it had been last year, and everyone was feeling it. With Neil and Kevin's things being added into the trunk and Aaron and Nicky's things held in their lap, it was a tense and long ride for everyone, Andrew especially.
Neil was basically shaking in his seat with the tension of his body and Andrew was sitting beside him doing his damn best to ignore the idiot, but he was failing.
He knew what Neil was worried about. While he didn't give a shit about the upperclassmen, Neil had been fairly close to them.
Andrew had managed to reaffirm a companionship with Renee because Renee wasn't expecting much. No one expected much of Andrew at any given time, but still. He'd managed with Bee because he was more mature now, less sullen and bitter about his problems and his lot in life. Hell, he was probably doing better with both relationships than he had been during his first time at this. Yet he knew that Neil was afraid that he would be too different to fit in. He'd be too…whatever, to find a place with the family he'd found.
Andrew thought he was stupid and he told him so. Often.
It didn't stop the idiot from worrying, and it was Andrew that had to deal with it.
When they arrived at the Fox Tower, it was to see Wymack leaning against his beat-up car waiting on them. He gave a grunt in greeting, eyeing Kevin and Neil before turning and letting everyone into the Tower.
"I don't know how you want rooms to go, but I don't give a shit, figure it out yourselves but the 5 of you aren't sharing one room. Matt and Seth need another roommate, so whoever wants to take on that mess, be my guest." Wymack waved them up the stairs. "Other than that, you've got the same room. Do not kill each other. Abby will be there tomorrow morning so she can get through the new kid's physical, don't break him in the meantime. I'll get all of his dorm paperwork squared away in the morning before he meets with Abby and here are your fucking keys. I don't want to hear from you little assholes until tomorrow." And then he left.
As soon as he was gone, Andrew turned to Neil. "What do you want?"
Neil stood there, four pairs of eyes staring at him as he debated it.
He'd liked sharing a room with Matt. Despite the fact that Seth had been there during a short part of the season, it had been the whole reason why Matt and Neil had gotten along at first. Because Matt had taken it upon himself to try and guide Neil through the dynamic of the Foxes.
"I think I'd like to room with Matt for now." Neil decided, knowing that the decision wouldn't really matter to Andrew one way or the other. They would no longer be sleeping together for a while, but they hadn't been during the last term either. Other than weekends and breaks, Neil had slept on his own in their large bed in Colombia.
"Okay." Andrew nodded and led their way up. He passed Neil the key to Matt and Seth's usual room and then distributed the other three among everyone else.
When everyone was settled as much as they were going to be for the first day back, Kevin dragged everyone back to the stadium where he used the keys and a code to get in.
Everyone headed for the changing rooms while Neil looked around the Foxes' lounge. Nearly three years since he'd been in this space and now he was here again as a freshman. Everything looked so different. Not new exactly, but shinier than it had been when he left. Pictures littered the same wall, and though he wanted to go look, he knew what he would find. There would be none of him on there, and maybe seeing that would be too hard. He'd have to wait to make those memories again.
Tomorrow would put him face to face with the upperclassman, all of them, all together, for the first time in years.
He wasn't sure if he was dreading it, or if he was excited for it.
~!~!
"Well aren't you here early?"
Abby's voice was familiar and somewhat soothing. Neil couldn't stop his smile from stretching his lips. Yeah, he was early. He'd told Andrew he was headed to the stadium, and when Andrew asked why, Neil told him that he just wanted to run. Wanted a chance to greet Matt when he got there, like before. Andrew had not looked happy about it, but he'd shrugged and let Neil go on his own.
Neil had made it just when Wymack was unlocking the doors, so the man had studied him a second and sighed before letting him in and heading straight for his office not saying one word. Neil had sat in his usual seat and waited for Abby.
"Always been in early riser, decided I wanted to check out the stadium before anybody else got here." Neil told her with a nod of greeting.
"Oh well, okay there. Since you've got so much spare time, we might as well get your physical over with." Abby said as she led the way to the medical room.
Neil swallowed dryly for a moment before nodding. "Yeah sure. That's fine."
Although he wasn't really sure that it was.
He wasn't uncomfortable with his scars anymore. Years of feeling them under Andrew's hands and exposing them without backlash had given him some distance from the causes of most of the scars, but still. Abby always liked to believe that she was ready for anything, that she'd seen the worst of humanity and come out the other side okay. Neil knew that she hadn't.
As they went into the medical room, she turned the lights on and closed the door behind him. He hopped on to the bed and they got started. The first part was easy, just like he remembered. Weight, height, blood pressure, reflexes, eyesight, hearing, ears, mouth, and nose. Then she took two vials of his blood, labeled them and put them in a locked cabinet. And then, she said the words Neil was dreading.
"Take off your shirt."
Neil couldn't help the hesitation. She noticed.
"Come on, take it off. I can't see track marks through cotton." She eyed him with a little smile at her joke. He managed one back.
"I don't have track marks."
"Good for you, keep it that way. But I need to check, now take it off."
Neil swallowed and reached for the hem of his shirt, but still, he couldn't make himself do it.
Like deja-vu, when Abby opened her mouth, it was like walking back in time.
"I want to make this as painless as possible, but I can't help you if you can't help me. Tell me why you won't take off your shirt?"
Like an echo, he heard his own voice before he opened his mouth to say it. "I'm not okay."
She brought her fingers to his chin, and he had to consciously suppress the urge to flinch away from someone who wasn't Andrew doing that. He did pretty good as she turned his face towards hers. "Neil. I work for the Foxes. None of you are okay. Chances are I've seen a lot worse than whatever it is you are trying to hide from me."
He gave her a humorless smile. "I hope not." But he knew that she would. Brian's burns were more extensive, covered more of his body, looked far worse than his sliced-up torso and back. She didn't know that yet though. But she would.
"Trust me." Abby said. "I'm not going to judge you. I'm here to help, remember? I'm your nurse now. The door is closed, and it comes with a lock. What happens here, stays here."
She sounded so sure of herself. Neil knew she wasn't.
With a deep sigh, Neil bit the inside of his cheek and pulled off his shirt. No more stalling.
Just like the last time, he caught her reaction perfectly. Her mouth parted in a silent breath and her face went blank. She wasn't fast enough to hide her flinch and her shoulders went ridged with tension. He stared at her and she stared at him. Her eyes dipping down to run over every brutal scar he'd acquired from his fucked-up childhood.
He knew what she'd see. The criss-cross of scars over his torso, the deep white ones on his stomach, the bullet wound on his shoulder where it caught him just at the edge of his Kevlar. She's see the imprint of half a hot iron on his shoulder, the long gash running from his chest to his navel. His skin was a map that only Andrew could ever follow without looking away, and now wasn't the exception.
"Do I have any track marks?" He asked quietly.
"Neil-" She started, and this time he didn't stop her. He wanted to know what she would have said. "Neil w-what-" But she stopped herself. Bit the question off because she knew boundaries. She knew limits and it was clear on Neil's skin that he needed her to respect those boundaries.
But he wasn't ashamed of them anymore. He wasn't defined by them anymore, and he wanted her to know that.
"It's okay." He told her, his voice steadier now.
She looked at him like he was crazy but he smiled at her. A small and broken thing. "I know what it looks like. I do. But it's okay. They're just scars, they don't hurt anymore."
She couldn't speak and her eyes were watery at his words but she nodded. Neil tugged his shirt back on.
"We're done." She said, her voice a bit shaky. "Neil…just know that you can talk to me, okay? Me or Betsy."
Neil thought about Betsy. He'd never been comfortable with her, and most likely even now he wouldn't be, but ever since Aaron's trial, he'd had a tentative sort of understanding with her. It wasn't the relationship she had with Andrew, he'd never trust her like that, but maybe he could start somewhere this time. Could talk about his mother now that she was still alive.
He still had too much shit in his head. Too many bad memories, too much torture that was no longer marked on his skin. He still had trouble sleeping, still woke with nightmares that he and Andrew have learned to navigate around. He didn't think Betsy would help it stop, but…maybe.
So he nodded slightly and hopped off the bed.
"Thank you, Abby." For always caring so much, even when it breaks your heart, he wants to say, but doesn't.
He walks back out into the lounge to wait for Matt, and he doesn't have to wait long.
Younger, thinner, just as tall with that same old ridiculously spiked up hair, Matt saunters in and Neil has to smile. This is the Matt he remembers. He doesn't know what he would have done if he had to see the Matt from last year.
He watched as Matt spotted him and crossed the hall, hand held out. Neil accepted it with a slight smile. He didn't pay any mind to the faded track marks on both arms. It didn't matter. This was still Matt.
"Matt Boyd," the man said, giving Neil's hand a firm shake. "I'm a junior this year and the Foxes' starting backliner. You must be Neil."
The moment is almost surreal and Neil doesn't even bother trying to answer as Wymack makes his way out of his office, having heard Matt's voice echo the lounge. He threw the key ring at Matt, hitting the man on the cheek with it. Matt caught it as it fell before turning to make a face at Wymack.
"Jesus, Coach, good to see you too. When did we move past a simple 'hello'?"
"I could say the same for you, stomping past my open door like that without so much as a by-your-leave," Wymack said.
"You looked busy."
"I'm always busy. That's never stopped you pricks from interrupting me before."
Matt shrugged and looked around. "Where are the monsters?"
"Probably razing Fox Tower to the ground as we speak. You met Neil?"
"I was trying." Matt sent Neil a knowing look, and Neil smiled a bit, still caught on the 'monsters' comment. He'd nearly forgotten about that nickname. "I can't believe you put up with Coach this long. How did you survive?"
"Oh, I didn't stay with Wymack." Neil said.
"Neil's been training with Kevin and Andrew every day." Wymack said, not telling Matt that he also lived at the house in Colombia with them.
"Oh god," Matt groaned. "You're awful, Coach."
"He knows it." Abby said, stepping out of her office and leaning against the doorframe. "Welcome back, Matt. Did you have a safe drive?"
"Safe enough, but I drank so much coffee I probably won't sleep for a week." He turned back to look at Neil. "Already settled?"
"More or less." Neil hedged, in reality he'd slept in Andrew's bed the night before, he actually hadn't even gone into what was supposed to be his room for now.
"Take him and get out of here. I'm trying to get work done and I've got this ghost boy walking the halls distracting me." Wymack complained good naturedly, Neil rolled his eyes.
"Come on then, you heard the coach." Matt grinned. "Didn't miss you at all Coach." He called out as he and Neil left.
The conversation during the ride was familiar too. It made Neil want to scream.
"We're not all bad, just so you know." Matt started as he pulled out of the parking lot. "Dan hated that your first impression of us would be the do-nothings. She was pretty sure you wouldn't stick around long enough to meet the rest of us. She thought about coming back to campus early to be a buffer, but Coach told her not to bother."
Apparently, neither Wymack nor the cousins had told anyone that Neil already knew them. Lived with them. Was in a relationship with one of them. Or anything else. Neil was coming in like the new person in town…he wasn't sure if that was a good thing or a bad thing.
"You're not bad people you know." Neil said, figuring he'd go with it for now. Everyone would know sooner or later.
"Not bad people." Matt repeated. "That's about the tamest thing I've ever heard applied to them before. Seriously though, if they give you any trouble, just let me know. I'll kick Kevin's ass for you."
"Don't worry about me. I can handle them."
"I thought I could handle them too." Matt cringed. "But Andrew made it pretty clear that he wouldn't be handled by anyone. You change your mind, you know where to find me. My offer's good through graduation."
Neil wanted to laugh at that.
Talking to Matt, even this version of Matt, was still as easy as always. He was still laid-back and caring, still the same person despite everything that happened. It was a relief at least.
He figured he'd give Matt some leniency when it came to Andrew's group. No one saw Andrew like he did, and no one had to.
~!~!
Neil pushed the door to Andrew's room open and walked inside. Matt had left to go pick up Dan and Renee. Everyone was scattered, Nicky and Aaron sunken into the two beanbag chairs as they played video games on the new tv Andrew had bought specifically for the dorm, Kevin was sitting on a desk chair with a magazine, and Andrew was sitting on the desk closest to the window smoking.
Neil ignored everyone else as he made his way to the blond.
Sitting on the desk by his side, he wasn't surprised when a cigarette was held out for him. He took it between his fingers and leaned a little into Andrew's space as he breathed in the smoke.
"You met Boyd." Andrew observed quietly.
"Oh yeah! You finally met Matt, what'd you think of him?" Nicky yelled from the beanbag, twisting around to look at Neil.
"He's fine." Neil threw carelessly.
"Yes, he is." Nicky laughed before falling back to the game. "It's always a shame when the fine ones are straight." He gave Kevin's back a leer, but Kevin ignored him. "Or taken!"
By his posture, his hunched shoulders and his general air of terror and panic, Neil guessed that Andrew and Kevin had gone to see Wymack and had been told about the Ravens district change. That's good at least, it meant that Kevin wouldn't have a breakdown in the middle of the meeting in a couple hours.
This was the first time anyone would be making Kevin face up to his fears since the conversation they had at the beginning of the summer. He wondered for a moment if Kevin had made up his mind yet. He also wondered at Andrew's new deal with the striker. Maybe he would ask.
"Kevin found out about the ERC accepting the Ravens into our district?" Neil asked in Russian.
As soon as he spoke the other three turned to look at them. It didn't matter though, they didn't understand anyways.
"Yes. Took him to see Wymack and get the physical done early when you were getting friendly with Boyd." Andrew answered without looking away from the window. His hand wrapped around Neil's neck though.
"Are you willing to tell me what you asked for in your deal with him? I know he wanted your protection, but what about you?"
"I asked him for a rebellion. He has three months to grow a backbone and do something to prove to me that he wants to be free of the Ravens, or I let him go." Andrew answered taking a drag of the cigarette and blowing it in Neil's face gently.
Neil closed his eyes and breathed a bit of it in. The image of a bonfire in California still in his mind.
"I'm debating the merits of taking my mandatory sessions with Betsy seriously." Neil admitted, the comment coming out just as it entered his head.
Andrew raised a brow in silent question.
"I don't know. I just think that maybe I want to do things differently this time."
"Is that why you went to the stadium without us?" Andrew probed.
Neil smiled. "And why didn't you or Coach, or Nicky or Aaron tell any of the upperclassmen that I'm already part of your group?"
Andrew shrugged one shoulder. "They could be fun to mess with."
"Sure. Fun. Are you going to let Nicky bet on us?" There was a small smirk on his lips and Andrew blew another puff of smoke at his face.
"Wouldn't you like to know."
"Okay, guys. Seriously, can you quit it with the Russian?" Kevin called out, annoyance on every edge of his frame. "I'm trying to read here."
"Stop being a coward, Day. And then we'll talk." Neil replied in French which caused Nicky to stare back at him with wide eyes while Aaron looked at Kevin expectantly for a translation.
Fury spiked in green eyes. "Don't call me that!"
"Then let your fucking balls drop already. Or are they still tucked up snug in Riko's hand?"
Kevin surged up from his seat and Neil pushed himself off the desk.
"Shut your fucking mouth, Nathaniel." Kevin growled.
"My name is Neil."
"Oh shit, what the fuck just happened?" Nicky wondered out loud, confused by all the vicious French being thrown back and forth.
"A difference of opinion." Andrew answered his cousin, eyes carefully watching the face-off. He wasn't going to lift a finger either way, after all he knew that Neil could hold his own, but maybe a fight was exactly what Kevin needed.
"No its not! You can run all you want, but he's always going to find you. Who's the coward, huh? You, who spent 8 years running, or me?"
"Fucking big words coming from a cripple."
Kevin's face went white and his hands clenched at his sides.
"What did you call me?"
"I called you a deadweight has-been."
And that was it. Kevin Lunged.
It was a sloppy move and Neil was much too fast to fall under it, so he stepped aside and pushed Kevin's back when he went by, knocking the taller striker right into the desk where Andrew had been standing.
The blond had moved away and was making his way out of the room. Nicky looked on in shock and Aaron in confusion.
Kevin got up and rounded on Neil, roaring before rearing a fist back to swing a punch. Again, Neil sidestepped the blow, grabbing Kevin's wrist and twisting it behind his back. He kicked harshly at the back of Kevin's knee making it buckle and taking the tall asshole to the floor.
By that point Andrew had opened the door and walked out, but the commotion had gotten the attention of the people in the other room. Instantly Matt was at the door of the cousins' room looking on in awed amazement.
"What the fuck is going on?" He asked the room in general.
"I believe they are settling their differences." Andrew said from behind him.
Matt turned to stare at Andrew who was still smoking casually in the hall like two people weren't just fighting in his room.
Instantly the hall was filled with more people and Andrew waved at one of them.
"Renee, about time you got here."
"Nice to see you, Andrew." She greeted back, moving with Dan to get a look into the room, only to see Neil with his knee against Kevin's back and holding the taller man's arm securely behind his back. He was whispering in harsh French and Kevin was growling wordlessly as he struggled.
"What the fuck is going on here!?" Dan yelled.
That got Neil's attention. He looked up from his hold to find the angry girl he remembered looming over him looking oh so very done with the day.
He almost smiled. "Nothing.", but Kevin reminded them all of his presence when he started to struggle.
"Get off him, Josten." Dan ordered shortly, a glare on her face. She went to reach for Neil, but Andrew was instantly at her side, batting her hand away.
"Let him up, Neil. I think he's run out of steam by now." Andrew said in French, which made Kevin jerk, but otherwise settle. It also made every one else stare at him like he'd grown another hand.
Neil nodded before carefully letting Kevin go and standing up.
Andrew moved to pull Kevin up by his collar but only enough to get the taller man to his knees. He looked the tall striker in the face as he asked, in English this time.
"What have we learned?"
Kevin snared back but made no other move. "Fuck you."
Andrew snared and let him go, turning his back on him.
"Hello, Oh Captain, my Captain. What are you doing in my room." He spoke tonelessly, but it didn't matter, the jab was still there.
"Do you want to tell me what the hell that was about?" Dan asked harshly, her posture stiff.
"Merely a difference of opinion." Andrew said again, giving her nothing but a flat look.
Her eyes went to Kevin who looked down and mumbled, "He's right."
Then her eyes fell on Neil who merely shook his head. "It's fine."
Andrew's flat look turned to him at the forbidden 'f' word and he had the grace to tilt his head in silent apology.
Dan just huffed. "Whatever. I don't care who started it, but the fighting stops here. Got it?"
Kevin and Neil both nodded but neither said a word. Dan turned around and left the room.
"Come on, Neil. I'll give you a ride to the meeting." Matt called softly, but didn't enter the room, just hovered in the doorway.
"Actually, Neil agreed to ride with us. So you can go now, Boyd." Andrew answered for him. Matt looked dubious, glancing from Neil to Kevin to Andrew and back to Neil.
"That true?"
Neil gave his friend a weary smile and nodded a bit. "Yeah. I figured your truck would be full already, so I took them up on the offer."
Matt stared between the three of them again, before giving up. "Yeah, okay. I'll see you at the meeting then. Be careful alright."
"Don't worry, Matt. I'll be fine."
As Matt left, Andrew's arm reared back and smacked into Neil's chest. Neil grunted.
"I hate that word."