Disclaimer: I don't own YYH so bite me
Dream: You guys are so nice and we got some new takers as well!
Vhee: Yay! isn't that great, Hiei?
Hiei: Yes. It is the most wonderful thing that has ever happened in the history of history.
Vhee: Aw, I knew you'd agree!
Dream: -_-
Hiei: Moron.
Vhee: What?
Dream: Never mind, sweetie...neeeever mind...
Heads or Tails
Chapter Lucky 7: My shiny white knight
X -x-x-x-x- X
So after being sucked into another fun loving portal and flung to the ground, we walked up to the temple. Thankfully I fell on top of Kuwabara and didn't get hurt this time. But then my necklace turned off when I fell and Yusuke had to make a joke about Hiei being on top of Kuwabara and the resulting violence began.
Kuwabara hit Yusuke, Yusuke hit Kuwabara, Hiei announced that Atsuko should've aborted Yusuke, Kuwabara jumped on Hiei about women's rights, Hiei actually jumped on Kuwabara, Kuwabara wouldn't fight back so Yusuke laughed at him, Kuwabara attacked Yusuke again, Botan swung her oar, and I stood and yelled at all of them. Then after the fight we all cried and hugged and promised never to do it again.
Just wanted to see if you were paying attention.
So we're coming back into the temple when Hiei stops me and grabs my FREAKING EAR pulling me into the house. "What the fuck?! Owowowowow! What the hell are you doing?!"
"It's my body and I'll do what I want to it." He throws me into a room and slams the door. Oh, is this when the fanfic goes horribly wrong and he raeps me? "Strip." I guess it is.
"W-What?"
He pointed to...my chest? What the hell?! "Those are my clothes. Take them off."
I hugged my, erm, chest. "NO!" I whimpered. "I'm not wearing a bra under here!"
He rolled his eyes. "Then deactivate the necklace and then take them off."
"Uhh..." One Hiei stripping for another. Okay, I'm sure there's a doujinshi of this somewhere. "Well, those are mine! Take off yours too."
He ginned. "You want to watch me undress?" He undid the top of the jeans and I saw stars.
"Turn off the Gazer first!"
"Pfft," he scoffed and pressed the button, becoming me again as I did the same becoming him. Then we stripped. Yeah, this isn't freaky or anything. We traded pants and shoes and shirts. There was a mirror in the room and after Hiei was done, he reactivated his Gazer. "Where's my scarf?" he asked.
I reactivated mine. "Uhh, I took it off. I have no idea where it is..."
He rolled his eyes. "Fine." And he left the cloak open in the front split down the middle like a trench coat. HO MY GAWD.
I came up to him and looked at myself. "OH, man! I'm not wearing a bra!"
"You already stated that," he replied monotone.
"No! You don't get it, you stupid man! You can tell I'm not! It looks worse in the tee! The cloak was hiding it...man, these Gazer things have really BAD detail..." He shook his head and I turned to say something else when I noticed he was taller than me. "Hey...are you...taller than me?"
He blinked, looked me up and down (AHH!) and turned off both the Gazers. "No. You are taller than me."
I gasped. I was taller than Hiei, probably by five inches. "Oh." He turned them back on. "Wait, that's gonna be a problem for you..." and I pointed to the floor. His own pants were at least five inches higher on his legs. "Oh, my God..." and I just laughed...
"Stop that!" he seethed. "What does it matter anyway?"
"You look like a moron!"
His fists shook. "You're the moron!"
"Okay, okay! Sorry...I guess these things don't fix everything..."
He sighed. "Fine. Give me back those. At least they fit me."
"My jeans?"
"No, your pantyhose - of course the jeans, what do you think?"
"Then give me those!"
And we know this scene by now don't we? Gazers off, strip pants, trade pants, put on pants, Gazers on.
I sighed. "Wait a minute..." and I turned off his Gazer again and saw the scrunchy in his/my hair. "How come it shows up when the Gazer is off but not when it's on?" I yanked it out, and ladies and gents (if there are any), I made Hiei squeal like a little girl. True, he's in my body and it was my voice, but still THE SOUND WAS MADE.
"Eeyaa! You little - !"
I ignored him and held the accessory. "Why won't it show up...?" Oh, that's right; it's freaking anime! Who gives a shit? Logic is not required
Random asshole: No, you're just an idiot and forgot you put a scrunchy in his hair.
Vhee: ...
Asshole: Kinda like how you forgot that you're wearing his bandanna and yet it doesn't show up when the Gazer is on but the bandages do. Explain that.
Vhee: ...
Asshole: -smirk-
Vhee: You know what? I won't kill you this time. I'll torture you so bad you'll WISH you were dead. -snaps fingers and a bunch of rabid fangirls bust in the room and stop dead at him- Uhm...you're supposed to carry him off.
Rabid fangirls: Why would we do that?
Vhee: Cuz he kinda looks like Sniper.
Rabid fangirls: -look at each other- WORKS FOR US! -carries him off-
Asshole: NOOOO! I look more like Seto Kaiba!
Vhee: Well, I had to choose someone from this universe, jackass!
Some guy: You know, he did have a point.
Vhee: I DON'T CARE! -snaps fingers and a giant foot crushes the guy Monty Python style- Man, now I have two I gotta kill. This is getting ridiculous. What's next?
One rabid fangirl: Hiya!
Vhee: -_-
Fangirl: I just wanted to say I love the story but there are a few problems. Like how do you explain the time difference? If it's a year after the OVAs why not just go the whole 17 years? That would make more sense. Or are you saying that different realities have their own pace in the space time continuum? Also, you aren't using proper grammar. You miss commas and proper punctuation all the time and spell words wrong like "cuz/'cause." Using slang shows sloppiness and also doing stuff like this is actually against site rules.
Vhee: ...If I kill her she'll just come back, like a cockroach...or the plague... Hey, a bunch of your friends just carried off Seto Kaiba that way!
Fangirl: REALLY?! OMG!1111111111 -runs off-
Vhee: Oh, man...
Announcer: Hey!
Vhee: OH GOD WHAT NOW!
Announcer: I just wanted to tell you this is your longest skit yet! Congratulations! -balloons and confetti fall from the sky as a happy fanfare plays-
Vhee: -eye twitches- I bet someone right now is thinking "what the fuck am I reading?" My answer to you would be I HAVE NO IDEA.
Some guy: -muffled by foot- She's just trying to make the doc longer without actually writing anything!
Vhee: SHUT UP! -foot stomps him continuously- Now then. Where was I? I don't even remember. I'll have to re-read the chap...
Everyone: -fall on floor-
-5 minutes later-
I really didn't write much, did I? Eh. So anyway I just shrugged and put the scrunchy on my wrist cuz I don't wanna solve the problem I created and ignored anything else that made no sense. He turned his Gazer back on and fumed at me. "Do not ever touch me again."
"You mean don't touch myself? 'Cause that is my body you're inhabiting and I can 'do what I want to it.'"
He just glared at me and that's when I noticed he was now wearing tight blue jeans, black shoes, the back torn fighting shirt and the cloak open and split up the middle like a trench coat. He also had no bandanna or Jagan...
SOMEBODY NEEDS TO DRAW THIS.
"Why do you keep staring at me like that?"
-needle scratch- I was staring at him? WHAT?! "Huh? Like what?"
He gave me an unreadable look and opened the door with a scoff. "Just stay away from me."
I saw a bulge in his coat and screamed. "WAIT!"
He stopped and pivoted. "What now?!"
"My baby is in there!" I grabbed his cloak and reached for Stefan as he tried to stop me.
The door opened to reveal Yusuke and what he saw looked like my hand reaching inside Hiei's clothes and him pushing me back. "If you wanna molest him, you should touch yourself," he commented blandly and walked away.
Hiei fumed and pushed me to the floor just as I found my frog. "Disgusting..." He stomped off mumbling something about death and destruction.
I stood up and took one last look at myself now in a green tee and black pants. Thank goodness the tee was long enough to hide the red draw string. I would wear stuff like this at home, so I couldn't really complain. It was quite comfortable. And maybe the whole no bra thing wasn't so bad. I was a bit...perkier than I was back home, hehe.
God bless anime.
I put Stefan inside the waistband and let him hang out the top, putting my shirt over it.
I walked out and found everyone, including Koenma again in the living room.
"Ah, Victoria, there you are," binky breath started kindly. "Please sit down. There are some things we need to discuss."
I nodded and did so sitting closer to Kuwabara than any of them. Hiei was clear on the far side, surprisingly on a wooden bar stool. Maybe the jeans were preventing his flexibility. Or maybe just my body.
"Wait, did you two get naked in front of each other?" Kuwabara squeaked.
"Yes, that is exactly what we did," Hiei retorted.
"We turned off the Gazers first..." I sighed.
Koenma cleared his throat. "I found out some more things about these items and perhaps who started this whole mess," he continued slapping a file on the coffee table. "This we believe is the criminal."
We all looked to see a green scaly dude with yellow eyes frowning in a mug shot. Those yellow eyes...I would know them anywhere.
"His name is Durn and we think he's the one that stole the Reality of Change and Mirror of Change from us. He's been trying for years to break into our vaults."
Yusuke chortled. "Then he shoulda joined Kurama and Hiei way back when."
"Yusuke, please," Botan chided. "Keep going, sir."
"Thank you, Botan. We have no idea why he took both of these items but we do know he wishes to disguise himself, which is why he wanted the Mirror."
Kurama nodded. "Understandable. But how does that play into this situation?"
Koenma turned to me. "You said you were attacked, correct? By a man with yellow eyes?"
I sighed. "Yeah, but he was human looking."
The binky moved in his mouth. "What happened next?"
"He attacked some cops trying to stop him. Then this big blast happened and they all fell to the ground. I found the items and...accidentally fell on them. Then I woke up in Hiei's body. That's it."
Koenma looked back at the folder. "Mm hmm. Did he say anything to you at all?"
I blinked. "He said your name."
Koenma returned his gaze back to me and I dare say it was steely. "Anything else? Anything at all?"
I looked around. "That you were idiots?"
Yusuke snickered at that and Koenma sighed. "Okay...so apparently I need to explain how these items work. The rules that govern them are very specific. For instance, the Reality of Change. If I wanted to use it I would have to think of the place I wanted to go perfectly in my head. Like...if I imagined a reality where we are all women..." and they all grimaced.
"And it would take you there?" Kurama asked.
"Well, to a reality as close as possible to what I imagine, yes."
I gasped to myself. That's it...that's how I got here...
"We think that's what Durn is after. To travel to a different reality."
"Then why didn't he just do it and leave?" Yusuke spat.
"I don't know yet. But I think he wanted the Mirror so we couldn't track him. I guess he doesn't realize that we can still track his energy and even easier after he switches to a human body. Anyway, the Mirror has the same rules as the Reality of Change. If I want to switch to a body then I have to know who I want to switch with. Let's say I wanted to switch with...Kuwabara."
Kuwabara made a noise. "Ew."
Koenma flat-faced. "No offense taken there. If I wanted to switch with him I would have to know who he is, what he looks like and his name. Then imagine it in my mind and press the button."
It went silent. "So..." Yusuke started. "...you have to know the person you switch with? It can't happen by accident?"
The wind blew outside. "No...it can't..." was Koenma's slow answer.
And they all turned to me.
Ya know that feeling you get when something really bad happens and you wanna run but you can't cuz you know that'll just make things worse and you have nowhere to go anyway? Yeah.
"Victoria...do you perhaps have something to tell us?" Koenma asked.
I gulped. And this is where the shit stops being funny for a while.
Hiei stepped off the stool. "How do you know me?"
Kurama adjusted his hands a little. "I knew something was wrong the instant Genkai told me she possessed Hiei's memories. I asked him if he had access to hers and he does not. That told me all I needed to know." He paused and stood up. "I knew there was nothing we could do while Hiei was missing. Finding him was top priority. But now that he's here and he's safe...we have nothing more to worry about."
"Especially since I sealed anything she could use against us," Genkai added.
I started to feel something inside me clench. Was that the demon core? It was like the rush you get with a pounding heart without the actual pounding. "You...you were all in on this?" I whispered.
"No. Just me Genkai and Koenma," Kurama answered simply.
Yusuke looked at me, almost with hurt in his expression. "I knew something was off, but I didn't say anything." He shook his head and closed his eyes. When he opened them again they'd changed to that look he gave those random punks messing with that girl at the beginning of Chap Black. THAT look. "You might wanna start talkin', kid."
Hiei started coming towards me. "Who are you and how do you know of me?"
"Not just you, all of us it seems. She knew things like our names before we told them. She even pretended to be you at one point," Genkai stated as she sipped her tea, sipped like nothing was going on at all.
I looked down at my lap, something I often do when I can't handle what's going on around me, the surging inside me getting worse and worse. "I...can't..."
"You know what I think? I think she's working for this Durn. I think he sent her here to spy on us..." Hiei snarled as he came closer still, no one stopping him.
"Yeah, she tried to say she was you but with amnesia. And when I saw through her crap she came up with this lame ass cover story. Pathetic really," Genkai chuckled as she kept drinking.
"Hold on," Botan stepped in, "her file says she really is just a normal human! Nothing special about her at all!"
"Thanks Botan," I deadpanned.
"And humans can't be bad? I think we learned that isn't true the hard way, now didn't we?" Hiei spat and his eyes locked on mine. "Now..." Apparently training is where he got some of his speed from because he ripped a sword out from under the couch and held it to my neck. "...tell us everything you know."
"Why do you have a sword under the couch?!" Kuwabara squawked.
Hiei snorted. "I always have a spare hidden in the house."
Genkai shook her head. "I've found five already."
Hiei paid her no mind and turned back to me. "Tell us. Now."
I swallowed and the act made the sword push in more.
You know all those times you watched the series and Hiei was threatening death to his enemy and his eyes were all glare-y and you'd go "Yeah, go Hiei!"? It's really different when it's happening to YOU. It's downright terrifying. Like crap out your ovaries terrifying. Although I don't have those anymore, the point is valid.
"Wait, you can't do that! It's your own body!" Botan screeched.
"I would rather kill my body than have this creature inhabit it."
"Wait, wait, wait." Yusuke stood up now. "Then you'd be stuck in a human girl. You really want that?"
"I'll just have to find the Mirror and change to a more appropriate body." Hiei smirked. "Don't push me Yusuke, I may choose you."
"Hiei..." Koenma began calmly, "need I remind you that is a human soul you are threatening and if you kill your body it will still be the soul that travels to Spirit World. In other words; you kill a human. I don't think I have to tell you what that will mean for you and you no longer have the ability to fight us back."
Hiei pulled the sword away but still held it out. "Then we need to find another way of making her talk."
"I propose one," Kurama stated as he walked a little to me. "I think there are ways of getting her to talk quite easily."
I swallowed again. "What...?"
Kurama just tilted his head at me. "I could get answers from you if you do not volunteer them."
The wind whistled again.
"You wanna...torture her?" Kuwabara asked in a shaky voice.
Kurama said nothing. Turns out fox-boy is a lot more disturbing up close and personal. The way he twists cruelty as if he's talking about the weather. Plain as can be with no hint of any guilt.
"But it's Hiei's body!" Kuwabara tried to defend.
"I have no problem with anything that needs to happen to get her to talk." Hiei looked to Kurama. "Do what you need to."
I finally lost it. "You're not like what I thought you were at all..."
"And there's another piece of the puzzle..." Kurama commented.
"Do you even hear yourselves right now?!" Kuwabara was standing now and Botan followed. "You're talking about torturing a little girl!"
"Her file is clean!" Botan tried to help.
Hiei shrugged. "That means nothing."
"Urameshi, tell me you don't agree with this!"
Yusuke sighed and slicked his hair back. "I don't know...she is in Hiei's body. It wouldn't be like it was really hurting her..." Kuwabara turned white and Yusuke groaned. "I don't know what I think anymore..."
Kuwabara clenched his fists. "You used to know back when you were human."
Yusuke went stone cold. "Oh, don't even go there."
"It's true. You never would've let them torture a human girl! What is wrong with you people?!" Silence answered him. "We didn't torture Sensui's men so what makes it okay to do it to her?!" He faced Kurama. "This is wrong and you know it. You wanna hurt her? You'll have to go through me."
Before I knew it, he was in front of me, protecting me.
"Heh, you wouldn't stand a chance against us," Hiei snorted.
"I think I would against you right now, shorty."
Hiei's face went twisted. "Oh?" and he pressed the button, becoming me again. He swished his hips to the side and gestured to himself - to my body. "Is that so, Kazuma? Please do. Hit me right here," he pointed to my jaw. "After all, I'm just a weak female that can't fight back."
Kuwabara didn't say anything, he just stared hatefully at him as he was taunted. "I didn't think so," was the cruel remark as Hiei reactivated his Gazer.
Kuwabara, much to his credit, said nothing and faced Kurama again. "Are you gonna fight me?"
Kurama sighed and shook his head. "No, Kuwabara. I will not. If you wish to protect this girl then so be it. But she will be your responsibility. Anything she does is on you. Agreed?"
Kuwabara looked back at me and then the rest of the group. "Deal."
"What do we do with her now?" Yusuke asked quietly.
"Chain her to a tree..." Hiei spat as he stalked the room.
"We can just put her in a room. Maybe one that locks from the outside?" Botan offered as nicely as she could.
"I have one bedroom like that. I'll show you," Genkai said as she stood up. Only her and Koenma had remained seated.
Kuwabara gave me a look and nodded for me to follow. I did slowly and kept my head down from the others hearing Botan whisper "Sorry, sweetie..."
They led me to small bedroom with nothing but a twin bed inside it. Of course, it was the same bedroom Genkai led me to when I told her the truth. Figures. She probably had the thing locked the whole time. I sighed as I walked over to the bed casting a sad glance up to Kuwabara.
"I'm sorry. They really shouldn't have said that...but if you're working for this guy all I can say is whatever he's planning or whatever he promised you, it isn't worth it. Please just think about it." And he walked out, Genkai shut the door, and I heard it lock.
So I bet you guys are wondering when the funny is gonna come back now, huh? Well, in any situation not everything can be funny as much as I would like it to be.
And then I farted.
Well, I guess I was wrong.
I pouted at the sound and groaned with my head in my hands. Must be the nerves wracking Hiei's system. Hiei probably never gets scared so his body has no idea what the hell is going on.
And it stunk too! What the fuck?! All I had was ice cream! That is...unless this was whatever Hiei ate before that...out there in the woods...alone and stuff...OH DEAR GOD.
I wailed and fell backwards on the bed. The last thing I needed was to poop in this body! But I guess it was gonna happen sooner or later...
Man...toilet humor...I must really be desperate to bring the funny back... And it wasn't working because that whole last scene was playing through my head. They were actually talking about...torturing me...
Botan tried to help but no one listens to Botan.
Genkai didn't care. I don't blame her though. I pretty much expected this kinda crap from her.
Koenma didn't say one word and just sat there like he always does.
But I didn't care much about them. Think what you want, but I didn't watch Yu Yu Hakusho for Botan, Genkai and Koenma.
I watched it for the other three...
Kurama was supposed to be good and kind but as it turns out, he hasn't changed from Yoko at all.
Hiei I thought had changed but it seems all he cares about is himself and has NO problems hurting someone weaker than him.
Yusuke...Yusuke was supposed to be the hero of the whole series and in the end he was gonna go along with it too! All because I was in Hiei's body and it really wouldn't be hurting me. Like hell it wouldn't!
Kuwabara was the only one who stood up and defended me! Kuwabara; the one Yu Yu fans pick on the most. The ugly one. The stupid one. The worthless one. How worthless is he now, ladies?
Kuwabara is the knight we all wait for in our lives. The white shining knight that rides up and saves us. He's pure and kind and SHINY. Honestly, he IS the best guy in the series and I mean that in all seriousness.
And he was hating on me right now. Anything I coulda had in this world, I lost just like that. They all hated me and mistrusted me, all because I lied. I suppose I brought this on myself and we can all use this as a lesson to always tell the truth but this isn't an Aesop fable, this is my fucking life and it's ruined.
I ruined it all like I always do...
I hit the bed and cried, yep I let it out cuz I don't give a shit anymore and for all you fangirls wanting the great big ol' answer as to whether Hiei does or doesn't, he does.
Yep, there they were. Tear-gems. And they looked just like Yukina's. No difference. Huh. Wasn't expecting that.
I took out Stefan and held him to me. If I close my eyes I can pretend I'm back home...and safe...
So whatever I don't give a shit I just wanna cry and I think Hiei's body could use it too. Honestly I just wanna be left alone right now so could all of you gtfo? Just switch the POV. I don't care anymore...
I don't care about anything...
Kuwabara paced outside, his head throbbing.
This was totally gross.
A girl was inside Hiei's body.
Well, first; a girl was inside a guy's body. That was gross in and of itself, but Hiei? That was so much worse! Hiei was ugly and stinky and stupid and evil and all sorts of nasty.
He didn't wanna think about it. Like at all ever.
Besides, he didn't have time to. There was something more important going on anyway.
If she was an enemy, he couldn't let her get away with it, but maybe he could convince her what she was doing was wrong. Like Mitarai.
But what if they were all wrong? What explanation could she have about knowing who Hiei was? There was none that he could see but he had to find out. He had to find out if only to fix all of this somehow.
He always had a general feeling about a person when he met them, and with this girl it was no different. He felt like she was just a normal human. He didn't sense any power or darkness from her presence.
As he went deeper he could feel something stirring down inside her. Like something was off. A bell ringing. A funny smell. Something odd that you knew shouldn't be there.
But even that didn't feel evil.
So he steadied himself and went up to her door, ignoring all the looks he was getting and resisting the urge to glare hatefully back at them.
Then Urameshi stopped him. "This isn't like Team Ichigaki or Seaman. You don't have to save her."
He snorted at that. "No, this is exactly like that - and yeah, I do...since you don't anymore." And he left the former detective hanging as he approached her door, only to hear her sobbing. He sighed heavily and messed with his hair. "Oh, man..."
He knocked tentatively and heard her swear and mutter something then a noise that sounded like she was moving the bed on the box springs. "Hey, it's me...Kazuma Kuwabara? Can I come in?"
She let out a faint chuckle and he heard the springs squeak again then finally an answer. "Sure..."
He unlocked the door and stepped in seeing her sitting on the bed solemnly with her legs crossed. He shut the door and grabbed a single desk chair to sit down. Once he was seated he sighed nervously. "So...hey."
She twitched. "Hey."
He swallowed and fumbled with his hands. Now that he was here he had no idea what to say. What kind of inspiring speech could he give this girl to sway her from the dark side? And if he didn't sense evil in her, what made her join in the first place?
This was harder than he thought. He had speeches for the others. All of them fell dead in his mouth. Just as his felt his brain was going to melt from the pressure, she inhaled to speak.
"Do you have anime here?"
He looked up and she was staring at her lap, fiddling with Hiei's bandages. "Uh, yeah."
"Of course; it's Japan," she chuckled low. "Do you have manga here too?"
He nodded. "Yeah. Why? You want some?"
She laughed that time. "No, I don't think I will ever want anime or manga again." He looked at her curiously before she continued. "So...what if I told you I didn't just activate the Mirror of Change?"
He blinked. "What do you mean?"
She shifted and looked up briefly then back down. "That...I activated the Reality of Change too?"
His eyes widened. "You mean...you're from a different reality?"
She nodded. "Yeah. Like a way different reality."
He looked around. "But wait...Koenma said you had to know the person you switched with. And you kinda have to know the reality you wanna go to so...if you're not from here then that means you wanted to be and you knew Hiei. How?"
Okay, I gotta come back now. I'm done feeling sorry for myself and well, Kuwabara is being smart. Who saw that coming? Oh, and I totally hid the gems under the mattress. So where was I?
Random asshole: You didn't put another breaker line for the POV change!
Vhee: Screw the breaker line! The story's still flowin', ain't it?! STFU! -sends more fangirls and big fat ones this time-
Asshole: NUUUUUUUUUUUUUU!
Ahem. So, I knew the only way out of this was the truth. After I stopped bawling and realized that Kuwabara came back for me I quickly ran all the times he fought for humans in the show and knew I could trust him. Outta all of them, he was the only one I knew would listen or at least try.
"In my world..." I started low, "...you are the anime." He stared at me and leaned back in the chair, saying nothing. "Actually, you're a manga first then it was made into an anime."
He still said nothing and just looked at me, his eyes narrowing a little. "You see, in my world we are really boring. No one has powers or Spirit Energy or anything cool like that. We watch shows with that stuff and animate stuff like cartoons and anime."
"You know what Spirit Energy is though," was his response after a minute.
"Yeah, 'cause it's in the anime. Lot's of stuff is. There's more in the manga but the basics are in the anime."
"We're all in it?"
I looked up at him. "Yeah...I kinda know all of you and stuff..."
Kuwabara stood up, turned the chair around so the back was to the front and sat back down, holding onto the back. "Okay...your world we are a...cartoon in it?" I nodded. "Wow...what do we look like? All big headed and weird?"
I grimaced. "Uh, you look like you do now..."
"Huh?"
I sighed heavily. "In my world we look different. In my world you guys are drawn on paper and here you still look like that to me. I dunno how you look to each other, and it's all normal to you but to me we all look like drawings and yeah you don't believe me..."
He tilted his head at me and rubbed his chin. "Well, that does sound weird...but I mean...you gotta explain this more."
"How better do you want me to explain it? I'm from a world where all of you and everything and everyone you know is a cartoon." I put my head in my hands and groaned. "I don't know, okay?"
His chair creaked as we sat in silence and any minute I expected him to just get up and walk out. "So...what's it called?"
I looked up. "Your anime?" He nodded. I chuckled as I glanced at the floor. This was so weird to be telling him the name of his own anime and that isn't even the real meat of it all! But if he was willing to listen then I had to take it. It was the only small glimmer of hope I had.
I sighed and steeled myself as I answered, "Yu Yu Hakusho..." He gave me a look and I smiled. "It has several translations; Ghost Files, Poltergeist Report...but I think it means The Happy or Laughing Ghost White Paper. I prefer Ghost Files, but we all just call it Yu Yu."
He shook his head and rubbed his neck. "Whoa...Ghost Files, huh? That kinda makes sense...so what, it shows the cases we did? I bet that's it, huh? When Urameshi was Spirit Detective?"
"Actually, it goes beyond that to the first Demon World tournament. But it ends with Yusuke coming back and Keiko kissing him on the beach."
He blinked. "Whoa, really?! You saw that?!"
"Yeah..."
"Then that means...!" and he gasped. "There's no way that Durn guy coulda told you that! You're telling the truth! Oh, man!" He laughed and leaned back in the chair, almost falling off, a big wide grin on his face. "What else do you know?"
"Uhh..."
"Like, do you know what my sister's name is? Or my cat? Do you know all our attacks? Our deepest darkest secrets?" His eyes widened. "Oh, no...what kinda stuff do you know...?"
"Hold up. I don't know everything about you guys. Just some stuff. Yeah, I do know you sister is Shizuru and Eikichi is your cat and yeah, I know your attacks. I do not know your deepest darkest secrets...although, I do know some..."
"Do you know who Yukina's brother is?" And I choked on my own spit. "You do, don't you! The anime tells it! Please, tell me who is he so I can find him for her!"
I waved my hands in the air. "I don't know that!"
"Yeah, you do. I can tell."
I sighed heavily. "I don't! They...uhh...they left it a mystery! They never told us and it always pissed me off. Like, grr, really mad, ya know? All the fans complained about that." He inhaled. "The manga goes the same way too." And he exhaled.
"Darn. I was really hopin'..."
"Yep, that's how it goes sometimes, hehe..." And I just about puked. I felt horrible for lying to him, especially since he was so trusting and believed me, but what choice did I have? "Hey, her brother is the guy's body I'm in! LET'S HUG IT OUT." No, that wasn't happening.
He sighed again. "So, what does it start with? Our show, I mean."
I cringed. "Yusuke getting hit by the car and dying the first time."
He frowned. "What? It starts and ends with him? Is it his show or ours?"
I rolled my eyes. "Well...it's supposed to be about Yusuke. He's geared to be the main character but most fans like...others in the show."
He leaned in. "Like me?" I looked around. "It's okay, you can tell me. I won't tell anyone. I'm the favorite, aren't I?"
Honestly it was hard to know who the favorite was. I know it's a toss up between Kurama and Hiei since they get the most ass in fanfiction both with OCs and with each other...It's really hard to tell at this point. Seems America loves Hiei and Japan loves Kurama. I have seen many Kuwabara fangirls and they are fierce with their love.
Though a lot them do Hieibara (/facepalm).
"Uhm...now that I think about it, you're all liked even, really."
His shoulders fell. "Oh. Even shorty?"
"Yeah."
"But he's so ugly and gross! No offense being stuck in him." He made a face. "That's just wrong on so many levels..."
"I know," I whined. "He peed in my body!"
He shook his head with disgust. "I oughta teach him a lesson when we fix this...but hey, now we can!"
"What do you mean?"
"We can tell them what you told me! Just tell them details you could only know from the show and they'll believe you." He stood up and went for the door.
"I dunno about this...they aren't as trusting as you...I'm surprised you believe me at all."
He turned and gave me a smile. "Hey, I can tell if someone is bad deep down and I don't get that from you. Give 'em a chance. I know after what they said it's hard, but they are good guys...'cept Hiei."
I giggled and followed him out. "If you say so."
"Of course. Shorty's evil."
We made our way back to the living room and they all stared at me as Kuwabara told them we were all gonna talk. "Just listen to what she has to say. It's really weird but I think it explains a lot. Just hear her out."
"You do realize you're holding Hiei's hand, right?" Yusuke drolled and I looked down. We were indeed holding hands.
Kuwabara shrieked and let go apologizing afterward and I just sighed and plopped down on the couch beside him. "This better be good..." Yusuke sighed as they all joined us, Hiei still glaring daggers at me and Kurama no longer giving me the scrutinizing gaze from before. He seemed relaxed like if Kuwabara was okay around me, he could be too.
In fact, they all seemed like they were easier around me just as long as Kuwabara was. He really was very important to the group whether anyone wanted to admit it or not.
"Go ahead, 'kay?" he nodded at me. "Just tell them what you told me."
I fiddled with the bandages again. "Stop doing that," Genkai chided a little more gentle than before and I sighed heavily, just holding my hands in my lap.
"So...who knows what anime and manga is?" I looked around. "I doubt Hiei does," I finished with a giggle and he scoffed at me.
"And what does that have to do with why you stole my body to spy on us?" he snapped.
"I know what it is and I bet you do too, Yusuke," Kurama jumped in.
Yusuke nodded. "Yeah, no duh."
"Well...I didn't just activate the Mirror. I accidentally activated the Reality of Change too." That got their attention. "In my world...you guys are the anime..."
Kurama leaned forward. "What do you mean?"
"In my world...I can watch you on T.V.. You are an anime series."
They all looked at each other. "Yeah, okay...what?" Yusuke chuckled.
"That is...highly unlikely..." Kurama said slowly.
"Perhaps not..." Koenma interjected. "In every reality there is a situation that could or would have happened in another. For instance I flip a coin and if I get heads here I could get tails in another. There just might be a reality where we are fake and don't exsist."
"But technically we would exsist in a reality like that, just in a different way," Kurama added with a thoughtful look. Ya know, that one he gets. Yeah, you ladies know. "I did notice that she had no idea who that woman was at her apartment. And she had trouble navigating the streets to her own home. She was looking at everything as if it was the first time."
I couldn't believe it; this was working! They were really listening to me!
"This is ridiculous," Hiei cut through my hope. "Can you not see what's happening here? Durn told her how the Reality of Change works and made her come up with this story. It's even more pathetic than trying to be me."
"No, she knows stuff," Kuwabara defended.
Hiei made a rude noise. "Stuff that Durn told her, I'll bet."
"Really Hiei?" I stood up. "Did Durn tell me that Yusuke was trying to save a little boy from getting killed by a car when he was killed the first time?"
Hiei set his eyes on mine with a deadly glare. "Sprirt World record."
I clenched my fists. "Is it Spirit World record that the Jagan implant was the most painful thing that has ever happened to you?"
Ladies, I just caught Hiei off guard. Cool moment acomplished. So I kept going. "Is it record that the only person you ever told that to was Mukuro? And you know she wouldn't tell Koenma a damn thing." His eyes widened. "Oh, and she totally read my thoughts and stuff back when I was Demon World in your body so she knows I'm telling the truth. She even knows about the anime."
And they all gasped.
I turned to Yusuke. "Killing Doctor was the hardest thing you ever had to do at the time. You knew you had to do it, but you hated every second. I always thought that was your bravest moment." His eyes widened and he looked away, turning pink.
I looked at Kurama. The anime didn't give us much but the manga did. I took a chance since this place had some different stuff in it. "When you were a little boy...you broke a glass and your mom used her own arms to protect you from falling on it. That was the first time you saw someone cause themselves pain for someone else. Out of love. That changed things."
He blinked a few times, letting out a small breath. "It did."
I was right. So there were a few things that were right from the manga but not all...I wonder if Maya happened? "I could go on but I think I proved I know things Durn could've never known."
They all looked at Koenma. "I'd say so. Which begs the question, why did you want to be sent here?"
Yusuke chuckled nervoulsy. "You like us that much?"
I did the same as I sat back down. "Er, uh, no. I heard him say your name which made me think of you. I got hurt and just kept thinking about it. I guess it sent me to here 'cause of that. Although this place isn't exactly the same as the anime..."
Koenma nodded. "I did say it would take you to the closest possible reality to what you imagine. We wouldn't be the same as your little show. "
"If you all want to believe this asinine explanation, fine," Hiei spouted. "I still don't although I do have one question." We all looked at him. "You were thinking of us when you activated the Reality object. Why were you thinking of me when you activated the Mirror?"
And they all looked at me again.
"Uhh...I was thinking of you last when I fell..." Yeah, like I'm gonna say "ZOMG UR MY FAV HIEI-KUN!1111111111 /GLOMP/" Pfft.
Kuwabara laughed. "Yeah, 'cause she likes you the least right, Vhee?"
I looked down, feeling hot. "Yeah...right..."
"Told ya! The fans like us the best, by the way," he gestured to himself and Kurama.
Kurama humored him. "Really now?"
Yusuke made a noise. "Hey, what about me?"
"It's too obvious to like you! The show starts with you!"
"It starts with me?!"
"Don't get a big head, Urameshi! It ain't that big 'a deal! She told me the fans like us the best!"
I sputtered. "I said they like you all equally! What are you talking about?!"
Kuwabara shrugged. "I jusy know me and Kurama are the coolest. I can tell we're the favorites. I mean, who would like Urameshi with his big mouth and Hiei with his...Hieiness?"
Yusuke rolled up a sleeve. "Watch it, I'll give you a big mouth!"
Kurama tried not to giggle. "I think you mean fat lip, Yusuke."
"Okay, okay, let's not argue about who has more fans in a cartoon that only exsits in a different reality," Koenma stepped in.
They stopped bickering with a final pout from Yusuke. "I have more fans than you..."
Sadly, he is actually right. I am one of them, hehe.
"We need to discuss how we are to fix this problem. Without the items we can't switch them back or send Victoria back. We need to catch Durn and get the items from him."
Botan, who had remained silent through the whole thing cuz I forgot her AGAIN piped up. "How do we do that if he is wanting to travel to a different reality?"
"He hasn't. We would lose his energy if he did. It does disappear from time to time but it always comes back. I think he's collecting multiple items from different realities. It's a theory that these items exsist in many different realities. Perhaps just the ones where we exist but there would be tons of those."
I sighed. "So what does that mean?"
"Well, the rules of these items are very complex. For instance, the Reality of Change does not travel with you. So whatever you choose is permamnant. The Mirror stays with the body of the switcher so you end up losing it too. I think...he is trying to get multiples of the Reality of Change so he can do damage to multiple realities...he always was a crazy one..."
"He wants to take over a bunch of worlds instead of just one?" Yusuke asked.
"I think so."
"What a nutjob," Yusuke laughed and then cracked his knuckles. "Just point me in the direction of the ass you want me to kick. After all, I can't dissapoint our little fan, can I?"
"You do realize you're making Hiei blush right, Urameshi?"
"Shut up, Kuwabara."
I raised my hand. "Can I ask something? How does this girl here exist? Like is she me or...?"
Koenma closed his eyes, that thing he does. "Well...she used to..."
I gulped. "What?"
"Another reason these items are so dangerous. When you travel to a different reality you take over the body of the person that exists within it and you basically end up usurping them and...erasing them."
I gasped as my world went white. "I...killed someone...?"
"Well, not kill per se. Just overwrite. We have no idea if she would return if you left, the theory is she would, but again, we don't know."
I panted. "But...I...she...oh, God..."
Botan comforted me. "It's okay, sweetie, You didn't know. She'll probably come back when we fix all of this."
Hiei scoffed. "So this isn't even her own body I'm inhabiting?"
Koenma shurgged. "Well...no. For now it is. Anyway, I have one last thing I need to address. If Durn is still around he could be a threat. Also, I can't risk him attacking either one of you in this condition so...come here, both of you."
I did but Hiei remained where he was. "Do it or I will drop my pants with the Gazer off." That did the trick and he grumbled as he stomped over to us.
"Okay so...here we go, Genkai please do the honors."
She came over to us, said some freaky words and slapped our arms making both of us fall back with shock. "What babies..."
"What the hell was that?!" Hiei yelled as I rubbed my throbbing arm.
"Not another one! And you slapped both my arms with this shit so now both are sore!" She said nothing
"That is a proximity spell. Neither of you will be able to get fifty feet from one another," Koenma explained.
Hiei bared his teeth. "WHAT?!"
"Oh shit, like Our Days Together?!"
And everyone looked at me again.
Okay, no I am not stealing anything from InuChimera7410. She gave me permission to use this idea.
Er, I mean no, this is really what happened! STFU!
"Anyway...this will make sure nothing happens to either of you. You are both responsible for each other. I came up with this one myself."
"So smart, Koenma sir," Botan ass-kissed.
"Yes, I am perfect, aren't I?" he laughed. "I need to go back to Spirit World to do further research and investigating. Botan, you stay here for this end of things. Toodle loo!" And he jumped through a portal before anyone could stop him.
And then it went eerily silent.
I looked at Hiei.
He looked at me.
And his hands went around my throat.
~TBC
Dream: W00T! Yeah 8000+ baby! EAT THAT!
Hiei: Egh.
Vhee: I really killed someone...
Dream: Still having a hard time with that, huh?
Vhee: I killed someone...
Hiei: The first is always the hardest. I hear.
Dream: Uh huh. Anyway, little personal update y'all. Reality time. I got me a new puppy!
Vhee: -stops shaking in corner abrutly- A PUPPY?! WHERE?!
Dream: At my house where you will never go!
Vhee: Oh.
Hiei: Ha.
Dream: And new babies take time and love and time and time and did I mention TIME? Yeah, updates may be a wee bit slower than I anticipated since now this dog is the center of my entire life and will have to be unless I just wanna clean poop and pee off the carpets forever.
Hiei: Excuses. Where have I seen this before? Oh, when stories are dropped, that's where.
Dream: I will make Kuwabara fall in love with you next chap. And Genkai.
Hiei: -inhales-
Dream: And no, you won't be drunk and no, she won't be young.
Hiei: -exhales-
Dream: But I can write at night when she's asleep. I just did 3000 tonight alone. Just wanted to let ya know.
Vhee: I want a puppy...
Dream: I might give ya one.
Vhee: Really?
Dream: No, not really. It isn't in my rough draft.
Vhee: -_-
Dream: Q&A time!
Q&AWH CHAP 11:
From: BlackBelt
"Do you like being touched or petted? I know this is awkward, but I have always been so tempted to see what your hair feels likes. Yes, fangirl creepy moment. But I had to ask to get it off my chest. Sorry!"
Hiei: Sure, I like being touched and petted, just not on my head...-smirk-
Vhee: -.-+
From: Chaseha-Wing
"...Hiei your doing this because of sweet snow right? ...Y don't you just kill Vhee, seel the sweetsnow or whatever it is you want, and just take the object? And if you can't kill her because she's human, then control her mind so that she just gives whatever it os to you, then disapear. That's perfectly legal as long as you don't hurt her, No offence Vhee."
PAUSE
(A/N: Okay, this is a problem I see with these Q&A things, usually with Hiei. People always ask why are you there, or why don't you just kill the author? Well, he can't answer that because it's a story plot, without him there's no Q&A, get it? And yes, it's OOC for him to be here asking fangirl questions, really, REALLY FREAKIN' OOC! But that's the way it is, ok?)
Hiei: -comes back from kitchen- Did I miss another heart wrenchingly boring question?
Vhee: Nope! Didn't miss anything! Next!
From: Shezka-Foxe
"Yellow! Okay, I get the whole wiry hair thing, gross, I understand...
(Vhee) If Hiei proposed to you, would you consider your life complete, and everything you've ever worked hard for accomplished? (I'm surprised no one has asked you this yet)"
Vhee: YES, MY LIFE WOULD BE COMPLETE! AAAHHH - No.
"Hiei, have you ever encountered any of the animals in demon world that nearly took your life?"
Hiei: Yes, they're dead.
"Do you consider my questions stupid?"
Hiei: You like being insulted?
"Have you ever met Raizen, face to face? Talked with him? Is Raizen mean at all? I mean, he's the strongest demon in Demon World, surely you must've wanted to challenge him? Or fight him?"
Hiei: No, I didn't meet him. I would have liked to fight him in his prime, though.
"If you did meet Raizen before, what happened/what did you two do?"
Hiei: Just imagine it for yourself since I never met him.
Vhee: -snickering-...Lemon...-snorting-
From: Darkeiko
"Um, what would you do if you ever found out your father's identity?"
Hiei: Kill him.
Vhee: Why?
Hiei: Guess.
Vhee: Hum, because he went with your mother, got her pregnant, and left her when she needed him the most, in turn abandoning you and Yukina?
Hiei: No, because I want to be the only one with hair that stands up.
Vhee: That was sadly funny...
"Final question! What kind of training did you have to endure before the Demon World Tournament?"
Hiei: Whatever Mukuro threw at me. I had to be at her beck and call every day.
Vhee: -raises eyebrow-
Hiei: Not like that, you perverted moron.
Vhee: Whatever. Next!
Hiei: -growls-
Vhee: -sneers-
Hiei: -snarls-
Vhee: -sneezes-
Hiei: -laughs- Moron.
Vhee: Phooey! NEXT
From: chin12300
"Why do Hiei want the chapter black tape? It's seem pointless to me."
Hiei: I wanted to post it on YouTube.
Vhee: 700,000 hits and 567,432 comments on the first day.
Hiei: Something like that.
Vhee: And 10,000 videos of people watching it and posting their response.
Hiei: Like their eyes bleeding.
Vhee: And puking on themselves and shiting themselves and going insane screaming horribly as they run into the night and then their friend comes in and sees the camera and thinks yeah I'll post this.
Hiei: ...Yeah.
Vhee: Too bad you destoyed the tape.
Hiei: Sure about that?
Vhee: We saw it!
Hiei: Or did you?
Vhee: I hate you.
Dream: Yes, we all hate each other here. 'Til later now, buh bye!
Hiei: I get more screen-time here than I do in the story...
Vhee: OOC