Augenblicke - The Twilight Twenty-Five - Round 8
Thetwilight25 dot com
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Prompt: #19
Pen name: TiramiSue84
Pairing/ Characters: Kate
Rating: M
Word count: 477
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Photo prompts can be found here
Thetwilight25 dot com/round-eight/prompts
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Every day on my way to work I walk by the cemetery, and as much as I tell myself not to do it, every day I stop to stare for a minute. My gaze wanders over the rows upon rows of tombstones—small and big, simple and intricate, well-groomed and neglected—and then, just as predictably, my mind follows.
Whether I want to or not, I stand there and imagine the day they will lay me to rest. Of course I don't know about the when, why or how my life will come to an end, only that it'll happen. No matter what kind of life you live, whether you are kind or cruel, generous or gentle, in death we are all the same. There's a time frame we're given, and when it comes to an end, so do we.
I always picture there to be heavy raindrops falling from an overcast sky as they lower me into the ground. A priest would speak a few words he thinks represent my life well, but the drumming sound of rain connecting with stone, wood, grass and ground will drown out each and every syllable. It's okay though, because—and this is the only almost certainty besides dying I have—there won't be too many people there, anyway.
See, here's the thing: in my family, your worth is defined by your looks and your smarts, what you achieve in life. If you are dumb but stunning to look at, you're fine, and if you're ugly but possess the intelligence to make up for it, they let that pass, too. My sisters were lucky enough to get blessed with both, a combination that made them the princesses of the clan.
Me… not so much. I'm the prime example of the ever-neglected middle child, and then some. My nose was always a bit too big, my teeth too crooked, my jaw too broad to be considered pretty; and try as I might, my grades never made it above average. Then, as my sisters landed their top-notch jobs and found their perfect houses to live in with their filthy-rich and successful husbands, I was stuck in my mediocre job living my mediocre at best life. I went from black sheep to outcast quite fast.
It's not only them, though. The lonelier and further unloved I felt, the more I shoved food down my throat, the more my body expanded, the more I felt like a loser, and the less I felt up to interacting with the remaining few round me.
I don't have friends, just a few co-workers. And that one guy I dated during my last year at college aside, I don't do well with men or relationships, either.
The minute passes and I walk on: lonely, unloved, hopeless and empty, I leave the graveyard behind.
It's part of the routine.
Big thank you goes out to Bigblueboat for reading over this. Go, and check out her flashes, they are great!
Thank you all for reading!
-Sue