May 12th, 2018: Saturday afternoon
They sleep for nearly twelve hours, and emerge dazed and famished. They spend the laziest of mornings, even ordering up sandwiches instead of venturing outside.
By three o'clock, they're feeling more or less human. They're working through a Saturday study session in the living room, with two weeks to go until the Sergeant's exam, when Eddie notices that Jamie's hiding a few extra notes he's making.
"What'cha doing there?"
"Hmm? Oh, just scratching down thoughts as we go," he says. "What's the next question?"
"True or false: A prisoner who requests a lawyer while under the influence of drugs or alcohol can have their request denied legally," she reads.
"Yup. True. If they aren't able to instruct or understand their own lawyer, and we let them use their one phone call while they're still drunk or high, we can get nailed for denying them their right to legal advice. Since they wouldn't be able to absorb it anyway. Plus, Legal Aid gets bent out of shape when drunk clients call them at three a.m. and rant about how the whole world is against them."
"Top of the class." She notices him doodling again on the page underneath the one he seems to be working on. "Jamie, what is that?"
"Just, um. An idea I'm trying to pull into shape."
"I see that," she says patiently. If he really wanted to keep something from her, he'd hardly do it in front of her.
"You know the promises we talked about," he says. "The ones we've made to each other over the years, even if we didn't say them out loud."
She closes the book. "Yeah," she says softly.
"I had this idea of how we can say them out loud."
"Okay?"
"They sort of fall into place. The promises I told you I made you. The ones you made. The things that inspired us to make them. As vows."
"Vows."
"Wedding vows. If we wanted to write our own. I mean, we pretty much have already."
Of all the brilliant ideas her Jamie has had, this one outstrips them all. Over the afternoon and evening, through study breaks, phone check-ins with various concerned Reagans, dinner out and a slow, lazy lovemaking session, their vows to each other drift into place. The essence of their long partnership and their aspirations for the future are crystallized within a few phrases that she will remember until her dying day.
I will always have your back.
If you fall behind, I'll wait up.
I will earn your respect, and show you respect, every day that we have.
I'll be your scout, your night-watchman, your cavalry.
Your medic, your Chaplain, in our army of two.
No retreat, no surrender.
You can count on me.
And you can count on me.
It doesn't escape her that Jamie's worked a bit of Springsteen into his. He's listened to her singing along with The Boss for five years. And she knows his penchant for chess metaphors.
Ten days ago, nothing could have convinced her that she'd be testing out and refining her wedding vows with Jamie Reagan, hand in hand and wandering home from dinner.
May 13th, 2018: Sunday morning
Something pounces on her.
"Eddie."
"Mm."
"Wake up, I need to ask you something."
"Whatizzit?"
"E-e-eddie," he singsongs.
She rolls onto her back and opens her eyes mostly all the way, before rubbing them and blinking at him. He's on his hands and knees on the bed in his running gear, having just come in from an early run that she opted to sleep through.
"Time is it?"
"About eight."
"Mm. You wanna ask me something before coffee?"
"I'm fully aware of the risks."
"You are way too awake. What is it?"
"Marry me?"
"What?"
He sits up, and reaches for her hand.
"Eddie. Edit. Miss Janko, would you do me the honor of becoming my wife? Because if Tuesday is as soon as I can marry you, then I want it to be Tuesday, and not Wednesday."
"Wh – "
She sits bolt upright in bed.
"See, I'm not in shock and I'm not on an adrenaline high and I've slept on it, and I even ran on it, and it still sounds like the best crazy idea we've ever come up with."
"Jamie!" she hurls herself into his arms and kisses him.
"Is that…"
"Yes! Oh, my God, yes."
She peppers kisses over his sweet stubbly face and not caring in the least about morning breath and sex-knots in her hair or Jamie all sweaty from his run. And neither, apparently, does Jamie.
"What made you – "
"I was just out for a run, like always, and knowing you'd be here when I got back – it just hit me. And I didn't want to wait for just 'someday soon'," he tells her. "I mean, we've made our vows. I meant every word. I know you did, too. In what way aren't we married already? We've spent five years waiting around for things fall into place, between the job and personal stuff. But we can decide to put our relationship first and build everything else around that. The job's always going to take everything it can get out of us unless we push back."
"So let's claim our space and have something to push back with, is what you're saying."
"Something like that."
"Jamie?"
"Yeah?"
"We just got engaged. For real."
"We really did."
"But now…"
"Now comes the hard part."
"I'm beyond nervous," she admits. She's pretty wired, and she'd skip her morning coffee if she didn't know she'd end up with a headache later. She's sitting on the bed watching Jamie get ready for Sunday dinner, wondering what on earth she's supposed to wear to her first surprise appearance at one of these things. "I don't know why I should be. I think I'm more nervous for you. I mean, of course I care what they think of me, but they know exactly how to get to you. I've seen it."
"They love you."
She eyes him with dubious affection, and he shrugs, conceding the point.
"Okay. Erin loves you. Nicky wants to be you. My dad respects the hell out of you and my brother thinks we should have gotten together years ago. The others always enjoy seeing you. They'll all come round. But yeah, there's going to be howling."
"I guess we really have to tell them everything today."
"I think we better. See, the thing with Reagans is that we sense blood in the water. They'll know something's up. I'm pretty sure they're just waiting for proof as it is. If all we tell them is we finally got together, they'll be happy, but they'll still know something else is going on. Erin and Danny won't let up pushing my buttons. Make Jamie Explode has been their favourite game since we were kids. And Dad and Pop will ask me about my intentions, and they'll want to talk to us both, 'cause they're, you know, them, and I don't want to lie to them and say we don't know yet. And they'll know if I'm lying, anyway."
"Well, yeah," she says, "That's exactly what I meant."
"And besides that, if there's a big decision to be made, my Dad's always got to step in. You know, he starts throwing around hypotheticals and on-the-other-hands and then he starts moralizing, and then he starts temporizing on his moralizing, and dinner gets cold and it just gets – "
"Exhausting."
"Yeah. So I've learned that when there's something major to announce, the best way forward is to get out in front, take the wind out of everyone's sails, call it a fait accompli. That's the reason I'm not even going to phone ahead and say you're coming. They'd be all over that like a pack of hyenas. I'm just gonna act like it's any other day, and like everyone else is nuts for overreacting."
"But it's not any other day," she protests. "I'm marrying you and we're telling people."
"I know that," he kisses her, cradling her face in his hands. "And you know that. And it'll drive them crazy they can't get at me for it. Trust me, by the time everyone's stuffed full and finished yelling, they'll be so happy for us they'll be calling every cousin from here to Wicklow."
"Okay, okay," she kisses him back. "We'll run with that. And I'm going to marry you on Tuesday, regardless. But Jamie, that part's still easier than trying to stay partners. Your dad is still my über-boss, and I'm more worried about that. He might be happy for us finally getting together, but he's been hinting for months we should split up so we don't have to…split up. Coming at him with a non-existent policy is like sending your one and only rocket to divert an asteroid. He could just impose a new policy. Or reassign one of us regardless."
"I gotta tell him you called him an asteroid."
"Ugh! Jamie!"
He kisses her again, but his smile leaves his eyes as he turns pensive. "I have an idea what rocket we could use. But only if you agree a hundred and ten percent, because it's…it's about as big as it gets."
"Well?"
"I think," he says, "See, the main issue the force has with partners being involved personally, is that that can mean so many different things. Just being together is no guarantee that you can work together well. I mean, look at Paul and Kelsey. That's the nightmare scenario about clouded judgement."
She mutters in agreement.
"And then there's all the problems with legal and professional conflicts – what about spousal immunity from testifying, if one partner knows the other stepped over the line? And who's to say that any suspect we ever collared wouldn't try to complain that married cops could collude and cook up evidence, and never have to testify about it?"
"This is not helping."
"Hear me out. Police partners don't make vows to each other on the job, but the real solid teams know exactly what they can count on each other to do. And that's what we did. We've been making promises to each other all along. That's the bedrock of who we are together. That's what makes us different from couples that can't and shouldn't be partners on the job. If we can get Dad to understand that we're only ever going to make each other better people and be a better team – he might just take it."
"You want us to tell him about our vows."
He's looking at her very intently. "Yes. More than that. I want them to hear them."
Ohhh.
"You want us to recite our vows."
"I told you it was big."
"That's like…"
"Yeah."
She feels her breath taken away for a moment.
"You realize that actually counts in some places."
He nods.
"Jamie…you know I'd stand up and say those vows to you anytime, anyplace and mean them. But to use them to convince your Dad to let us stay partners?"
"It's both things," he says, "I mean every word as they apply to my partner on the job, too. Besides – " he kisses her again, "us going from hands-off to engaged and getting married in forty eight hours is still going to give them heart palpitations, however happy they are. I think it might calm them down if they knew why. And me being totally candid about it for once will shut them up like nothing else."
"There is that." She nods slowly. "Okay. Yes. Let's do this. Just one question."
"Anything."
"What the heck do I wear to something like this?"
May 13th, 2018: Sunday afternoon
It's worth every iota of nervous tension and awkwardness to watch everyone's reaction.
They didn't mean to stage anything. She was just hanging up her jacket and quickly checking her hair in the hallway mirror, and she thought Jamie was letting the family know she'd come with him. But then he was back again, holding out his hand, and it wasn't until she'd reached out to take it that she realized the entrance she'd made.
Erin's and Nicky's eyebrows nearly shot off their foreheads. Henry and Danny beamed. Jack's jaw dropped, and Sean looked bored and hungry. Frank merely nodded as if he should have pieced this together some time ago.
"Hey, everyone," she faltered.
"Officer Janko," Frank greeted her. She was about to reply with a polite, "Commissioner," by reflex, but Jamie squeezed her hand with a reassuring pressure.
"Just Eddie, today, Dad," he told his father. And there was no doubt that Jamie's quiet request spoke more loudly than any of the usual Reagan blustering or protests. He was the one who never asked for much, and when he did, they listened.
"Actually," she chimed in, "not just Eddie, today."
He gave her a look that she'd never have imagined him giving her in front of his family. The hovering flock of butterflies didn't dissipate, but found enough to hold onto that they stopped fluttering for a moment.
"Well, as of this morning – the future Mrs. Jamison Reagan," he announced, as breezily as if he was predicting a rain shower.
The reaction was loud and instantaneous.
"Wha – get out!" Erin yelped.
"Oh, my goodness! Congratulations!" Nicky melted, while Danny, still smirking, followed up with a heartfelt, "Way to go!"
Frank's eyebrows had twitched, too, but he sat nodding pensively for a moment before uttering a quiet, "I'll be damned."
In the years to come, Eddie knows that speaking her vows with Jamie in front of the family will be their real wedding. Whatever small ceremony they pull together will satisfy legal obligations. But in the rapt silence that follows their vows, everyone knows they've just witnessed a marriage.
Frank's response to their marriage is unequivocally warm as he ever gets. But it doesn't constitute a full answer as to whether or not he's going to let them continue to work together as partners. After dinner, as people seem to be moving towards the sitting room or the kitchen, she asks Jamie if they should try to talk to Frank some more about it.
"He told me he wants some time to think," Jamie says. "I think he knew there wasn't an actual policy. I don't think he expected me, of all people, to go against one of the Rules, though. Danny's right, we do have a Uniform Code of our own, but because we're such a legal institution – and we have unions – there's some things they can't actually enforce."
"And if he does let us go ahead with this," Eddie says slowly, "There's going to be more couples demanding to be allowed to work together."
"Yup. And if they don't have the kind of relationship that lets them function as partners, the only way to split them up will be through performance or discipline, or their supervisors would have to prove that the house needed their skills and experience in different partnerships."
"So we're back to square one?" Eddie asks. It feels like their one shot has fallen short of the mark.
"Not entirely. With what we know now, I don't think anyone's going to try to split us up when we both get through the Sergeant's Exam, and we're just waiting for placements. And once that's in place, that's pretty much the only obstacle. We won't be working the beat together anyway, even if we're out with new Probies or leading our own teams."
"And that'll be something good, anyway. But not the same."
"Nothing ever is."
"True."
Eddie's sampled quite a few of Jamie's Sunday dinner leftovers over the years, but she's never participated in the haggling and dramatics that go along with separating them out.
"I'm a starving student!" Nicky leads off. "And I'm in training for my police physical! I need that extra bit of roast! If I don't pass the physical first time, it'll be, like, a family disgra-a-ace!"
"I'm playing in a scouted football match this week!" Sean joins in. "If I don't impress them I could lose out on a scholarship-i-i-ip!" he finished, mimicking his cousin's wail.
"A strong contender," Danny says proudly.
"Yeah, but that benefits your whole household," Jamie points out. "You just sent out your best-positioned knight, is all. So you don't have to do anything."
"Did you just accuse me of castling?"
"Hey, did you hear that?" Jack says to his brother. "You just made Knight. Upgrade!"
"How does one actually win this thing?" Eddie asks Erin, off to one side. "Jamie's right. The kids have some serious advantage."
"Of course they do. They're irresistible. Believe me, when you and – " she blinks and glances over at Eddie. "Wait. Are you guys – is that why –"
"No, no. Seriously, no."
"Okay. Okay. Dad might've grilled Jamie, but nobody else was going to ask you, and I didn't want you to feel awkward. Just in case."
"I think we really would have eloped, if that was the case. And sent a postcard afterwards from, I don't know, Australia."
Erin chuckles. "We have cousins there, too. There's no escape, I'm afraid. But my point is, you wouldn't have to worry. Precedent has already been created and entered into family case law."
It takes Eddie a moment, but when she sees Erin fondly gazing at her grown-up daughter, she gets it.
"Oh."
"Yeah. Believe me, any bombshells you and Jamie might've dropped are mild by comparison." She turns to Eddie and her smile becomes more serious. "Let me just say that as great as it is to have another woman in the family and to see Jamie so happy, I'm glad it's you."
Eddie returns the smile and chucks her gently on the arm. "That's you being mushy?"
"That's me being mushy."
"Well, I never had a big sister. And I'm glad that's you. And – ask me that question again in a year or so, will you?"
"Six months," Erin bets. "When you guys have a course of action, you don't mess around."
"I wanna make Sergeant first and get settled in, okay?"
"Okay. Easter."
Eddie's eyebrows go up thoughtfully. It's not impossible. It sounds kind of…good.
"I'm no Linda," Erin goes on, quietly, "She was so good at taking care of us. But if-and-when, I'll do my best for you, I promise."
Eddie swallows against a sudden lump, and nods. Overhearing his wife's name, Danny looks over, and comes to stand on Eddie's other side.
"Linda would've been beside herself today," he says. "I think I'm gonna tell her in person, next time."
Eddie is casting about for a proper response to this that a newly-minted sister-in-law might make, when Jamie comes up to them, two substantial Tupperware containers in his hands.
"Bit of everything," he grins, "and I scored the rest of the chocolate cake."
Her eyes light up. "Late night snacks!" she says.