Chapter seven: Resurrection

"Why is she here" I spoke to myself as I walked towards our rented Volvo. "What does she want from me?" I said placing my hands on my forehead.

"Bella" Edward called to my attention but my mind was somewhere else. "Angel, please, talk to me" he begged as he stood in front of me and wrapped his arms around my waiste.

Tears ran down my eyes. I can't believe that after so many years she decides to come back. There were so many times when I missed that motherly comfort or advice. There were many times when I had to turn to my school's guidance counselor or the latest Judy Blume's book to understand the changes that are were happening to my body. I wanted to tell Edward everything I felt, but right now I couldn't even understand it myselfwrap my head around it.

"Did you know about this?" I blurted placing pushing myself off him and placing my hands on my hips as he held me.

"We didn't necessarily go to finishing." He lightly spoke as I formed my palms into fists. How could he have hidden this from me? Before I shouted at him, he continued holdingheld me tightly so I wouldn't leave run away or punch him "she contacted Charlie last week."

"Last week!"

"I found out this morning while you where in the kitchen with Sue. Bella," he took a deep breath "your mom is here because she is sick. She came to find peace with you and Charlie."

"Oh" I swirled my head "so she decide to come here when she's sick just so she can have a passage to heaven!" I raised my hand yelling at my husband who released me. "When Charlie was sick was she there to comfort him? Why the sudden change now? Am I now suppose to forgive her because she's sick!" I kept rattling

Edward went to me when he saw me walking back and forth again. I guess being outside of Charlie's house where I was aware of her presence made him nervous. "Bella, why don't we go to a hotel? You're pregnant and all of this could affect our child." He said pressing his green eyes and hugged me. This time I let him soothe me and kiss my forehead. He knew how crazy I am about the health of our child so I had to listen to him. .

He pushedpulled me towards the car and quickly speeded to the nearest hotel. Once we got there, the receptionist gave us the key and signalized where the elevators where. This day has been nothing but complete chaos. I felt numb and lost inside. I was surprised to find Renee in my father's house, but I was more surprised with the way I acted. I have never felt so much anger towards a person. I couldn't breathe I just reacted on my feelings.

When we got to our room I quietly walked to our large single bed and laid there. I felt like a kid without a home, just empty inside. A few seconds later, Edward came and cuddle with me. He would rub my flat stomach and say "I love you" I would hear him but I couldn't listen.

"Is this some cruel joke?" I murmured

"No" he said as he continued rubbinged my backme "how's the stomach?"

"It's fine..." I shrugged "I'm not hungry yet, so I guess our baby is giving me time before he demands attention."

"She demands attention." We both giggled at our little rant for our baby's sex.

Once the laugher died down I became upset thinking about today's event. "Is she really back?" I turned my body towards him and placed my hand under Edward's button down shirt. I need to feel his skin; I needed to be closer to him. "What does she have?"

"Aids" He murmured.

"Oh no" I cried. Even though I disliked Renee, Aids is a very harsh disease. There are no cures for that and the probability that she will survive for more than three years is very slim. I felt guilt crushing down on me, the offending words I said and then when I heard she was sick I was monster; I felt no remorse or pity. God I'm an awful person. "When did she find out?" I whispered holding in the tears.

"About two monthsfour months ago. I was able to talk to her when we got to Charlie's house. Charlie was surprise to see her today; he thought that he was going to meet her someplace before he introducinged her to you. When I met her all she wanted to know was about you: who I was? What you majored in? Where do you work? Bella, she genuinely wants to meet you." He emphasized moving his palms on my back.

"Edward I don't know if I can forgive her. It's been years of pain…I can't just let it go." I looked down; I didn't want him to see the monster that I amnot wanting to feel guiltier for not forgiving her. I held him tightly and smelled him; I need his presence to comfort me..

"Why don't you at least try?"

I lifted my head looking at him warily "I don't know how to…I need to some time to process this." I groaned "I feel horrible for saying this, but, what if…I can't." He pulled me closer as we laid there without speaking; we just listened to each other's breathing. The Fork's weather seamed to be fitting my mood, because it started to thunder and rain. During this time I kept thinking of the times when I was a child wondering when my mother will be back.

"Bella! It's time for dinner" yelled Charlie

A young brunette four year old brunette Bella hopped towards the dining room table. Her beautiful blue flower dress and light blue headband enhancing her youthful features. Then, sShe took a seat across from her father making sure that her legs were crossed just like Charlie taught her. . Charlie was not known for being the best cook but he tried his best with the cookbooks Renee left behind.

A few minutes after eating in silence, Bella asks "when is mommy coming home?" He brown doe eyes beaming innocence.

Charlie walked across the table squatting in front of her and took her small soft hands in his. "Bella, mommy is not coming home. She went to take a long trip and she won't be back for a while." Hesitated Charlie

Bella frowned and pushed her father as she walked away. "But I wanted to show her my macaronie and cheez." She tried to pronounce as she went to her pink Barbie backpack to show her father her kindergarten artwork. "You promise she will be back by my birthday!" she pouted and wrapped her arms in front of her.

Charlie couldn't contain his emotions so he hugged Bella tightly and cried. He cried for his daughter's loss, for feeling like a failure because he wasn't enough to make Renee stay, and for the lonely times he will feel without the love of his life. He needed to be strong for his daughter, but at this moment he felt alone and worthless.

"Bella honey wake up" spoke my God

I shook and tried to swat the noise with my hand.

"Honey, please wake up. You need to eat and it's been an entire day since your last meal." He spokeA velvety voice spoke as he as he lightly shook my body.

I groaned and lifted my chest from the somewhat comfortable hotel bed. My husband looked amazing with his messy hair being pulled in different directions, it was also a plus that he was wearing hermy favorite Calvin boxer briefs. He looks so yummy. If it wasn't for the fact that he pulled out a breakfast tray with pancakes, I would have had no choice but to push my body towards his. I licked my lips making Edward laugh thinking that it was because of food.

I quietly ate my food as Edward looked at me. Every time he was around me he would make sure that I was eating the proper nutrients for myself and our baby. He was such a sweet person. I ate my food as I looked at his sexy green eyes. I moved my face across the small tray and kissed him. Even with pancake residue he kissed me passionately. Once I finished with my last bite I realized how hungry I was; the entire plate was finished.

"Honey, lets go home. I don't want to be here" I asked softly as I brushed my fingers through his hair.

He sighed "Bella, you can't avoid this."

My eyes were filled with tears, even though I tried to swallow them they kept falling. "Stop! Please just stop it." I raised my voice but I was tired of feeling pressured to talk to Renee. I lifted myself from the bed and stood in front of him "I just want to go home and process all of this." I gestured with my hands in a circular motion. "You will never understand what I've been through. You had your mother and now you have Esme. They were both there for you! Your parents are together, you're life is perfect." I felt the air pushing me with emotions and I know I was being unfair to yell at my husband, but I've had enough. I wanted to continue saying more but looking at the painful look on Edward's face stopped me. I love him too much, and to know that I caused him this pain hurt me more than anything. I went up to him and hugged him as tight as my body would let me. "I'm so sorry…please forgive me." I begged as I pressed my face to his chest. I made butterfly kisses on his heart I felt like an idiot for yelling at him, he was being nothing but tolerant and caring with me.

"Angel. I'm not mad at you. I just need you to find closeness with your mother. I know what its like to lose a mother, and whether she was in your life or not, I just don't want you to regret never trying. Regardless of the past she is your motherblood, she gave you life." I pouted when he said that so he placed his palms of the side of my face to make me look at him. "I'm not saying to go to her arms and forgive her now. But I'm asking you to try… ask for her number. And when you are ready, call her." He stared down at me to make sure I understood.

"Okay" I sighed once again.

He pressed me tightlyhis lips on my. against him "Yyou know we have to stop at Charlie's to get our stuff."

I grunted "I know!"

The drive to Charlie's house was the most nerve racking ride ever! I kept bouncing in my seat and biting my lip. It also didn't help the fact that I've been puking since this morning. I guess my nervousness, baby, and anger were affecting my body. There were times where Edward would hold my hand and remind me that I am carrying our child. He would say that I needed to calm down because our baby needs to relax. There were times where hHe would suggest cheese balls but even that couldn't delay the unavoidable. I was about to feel like Spiderman when he had to tell his best friend that he killed his father. I place my hand on my belly; baby I am sorry for this rollercoaster day. I promise that I will be calmer after this.

When we got to Charlie's house, I took a deep breath and took my time walking up the entrance steps. Edward annoyed me when he kept insisting that I stay in the car. Being the stubborn person that I am, that wasn't going to happen. He thought I was going to leave my father without giving him a piece of my mind. He honestly thought that I was going to stay in the car while he packed our luggage; what if he mixes my dirty laundry with the clean clothes. Piff! I rolled my eyes and forcefully opened the door of the Volvo.

When I turned the door knob I looked around the house and spotted my father sitting on his Lazy-boy sofa. Once he saw me he walked up to me, extending his arms for a hug. No matter what I will always be his daughter, and with that in mind and the fact that I love him, we hugged.

"Bella. I didn't want to keep this from you, but I needed to protect you. I wanted to make sure that she was going to stand by her words. That she was going to be close to you." He said as he held me. At that moment I felt like a little girl. Charlie was trying to protect me, like a bear to her cub.

I nodded not finding the words to response.

He choked a little trying to hold down his emotions. "I want you to know that I am here for you. Renee was my partner but you are my daughter and my first instinct is to find what is best for you. That is why I told Edward before you. I needed to know if you were prepared for this. You know that I would never hide anything from you, but as a father and someone who cares for you… I had no other choice."

I raised my teary eyes to look at my father's face. Charlie wasn't always the most emotional person but seeing him in this new light made me love him and understand him, even more.

I swallowed before I spoke "dad, I'm going to try to see her… I just need some time to see when that's going to be." I said softly. "I see where you come from. But I need you to understand that from now on you will not hide anything from me. I am not a child." I said pulling myself from him and squeezing his hands.

He nodded.

"Babe, you can't put the socks with the jeans; they will stain with the dark dye of the jeans." I commanded. Yes, I was probably nagging and ordering Edward around. But it's a simple task to fold the clothes and put them back in the luggage.

We've only been in Forks for a day; and I would have loved to spend time with Charlie and Sue, but Renee's surprise visit created a grey cloudkilled it. I don't know if I will forgive her but like my husband said "just take it day by day." I was ready to go back to the comfort zone that is New York City. I was ready to think this through and see what my next step will be. Charlie will just have to visit us there, because there is no way in hell that I am coming back here until I figure out my relationship with Renée.

There was a loud knock on the door. Edward was busy reorganizing the luggage and Charlie was off to work, so I walked down the steps to open the door.

"Betsy Bella" I heard someone yell once I opened the door.