Whoop Whoop! Double Chapter Day!
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Embarrassing spelling and typographical errors, sadly, all mine. Love this ship.
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Go Big and Go Home
Chapter 7
Brittany freezes in the doorframe when she sees the others running through choreography. It looks like they're trying to teach a dance number to Becky Jackson? Oh my, this is not a good sign. When Brittany adds up what she's seeing she bolts to the bathroom before anyone can see her.
Shue places his hand on my shoulder and holds me in place. Tina sees me first. Then Puck 2.0, Mercedes. Mike. They're gap jawed. Anxious. Scared even? Tina looks likes she might vomit. Marley ducks behind Unique like a human shield. Sam steps forward from the back and waits. His mouth looks small. He looks small. I think I can actually see his heart beating. Small.
Finn pushes past Shue and pulls me back out into the hall.
"Santana. You're here. Santana. Thank you. Thank god…" is all he can say before he smothers me in his man boobs and hugs me under his big ol' blockhead. "Where's Britt? Sam said, you told Mr. Shue she was coming."
"Settle down Charlie Brown." I can feel, and smell, the panic radiating off of his sweaty body. "She's having a moment. This is harder for her than you can even wrap your puny head around. I got her dressed and I got her here. But you're going to have to do some damage control to get her on stage. Okay?"
He nods like a petulant child before saying "Um, so what do I do now?"
"Gettchur ass into the ladies' room and figure it out. I thought you were a leader Finn? So go, lead, or something."
But before I could even flip my hair dramatically over my shoulder and exit this tiresome exchange I find myself in a Mercedes and Mike sandwich that is pulling me back inside the choir room. Mike leans into my ear conspiratorially, "Just so you know, I've talked to Ryder. He's working things out with Mr. Shue backstage as we speak, but we're still down one singer."
Mercedes stops our feet from shuffling under our hug with, "San, come on now, where the hell is Brittany?"
"She's a little rattled. But she's here."
"Is she cool? Are you cool? I mean what's up? These guys are terrified of cray-cray Brittany right now!"
Sam steps closer trying to hear our hushed whispers but when I make eye contact with him, he quickly refocuses elsewhere and hustles towards the door. But he immediately face-plants right into all six foot three of Finn who escorts him right back into the group.
"It's all good Sammy boy, I need you to take your place for the last warm up, and just trust me, okay?"
Sam always does what he's told. Finn passes through, counting heads, and disappears out the opposite door muttering, "… five, six, seven. Seven? We lost another one? Jesus…"
Finally answering Mercedes I say, "Give her some time," loud enough for everyone to hear. "She'll be here". Their unison exhalations fill the room with something suspended between dread and hope. I must admit it was a radical improvement.
Sugar Motta snuggles up beside me and threads her tiny impressively manicured fingers between mine. "Hi Mama," she coos, nuzzling her crown of over hair-sprayed locks, into the crook of my neck. "I'm stupid excited that you're here."
I chuckle, "stupid ha", under my breath and hug her hard and then one at a time the others make their way to Mercedes, Mike and I. They're nervous and insecure and looking for something to ground them to the planet before their anxiety floats them into the stratosphere. And I can't help but acknowledge that this show choir thing, this Glee thing, really is their entire universe and it very well might collapse like a house of cards. I can't believe I'm even thinking this but for a split second I wish Quinn and Rachel were here too. This feels wrong without them. One of them would know what to say. What to do. How to make this better. But my heart is in my throat and I can't think of a useful thing to say so I lean into Artie's chair like my life depends on it, or maybe just to take some of the pressure off of my poor feet crammed into these ridiculous shoes.
Tina sneaks in and hugs me from behind. Turns me around and apologizes for being a heartless bitch of a gossip while she holds me so tight that I almost stop breathing. I thank her for her sincerity and pat myself on the back for teaching her so well. Marley bursts into tears in my arms and says thank you, confesses that she's gained seven and a half pounds and has never felt better. Sam just hugs me politely and says nothing. What can he say? What can I say? Who should apologize to whom? Is there a winner in the battle for Brittany's heart? I'm not sure. Artie just gives me a look that is surprisingly full of empathy. He grabs my hand for a moment like he's about to say something profound but before he can, I interrupt, "You know I'm expecting big things from you Abrams. You better bring the dang house down with that sexy voice of yours!"
The tension momentarily shatters, everyone cheers and eventually we dissolve into small talk with shifty eyes glued hopefully to the doors. Brittany? Ryder? Shue? Ryder? Pillsbury? Brittany? We're counting down the few minutes left before seating and we still definitely do not have enough purple and black clad New Directions ready to go.
The lights start to flash indicating that it's time to take our seats just in time for Mr. Shue to run in with Ryder close behind. Ryder palms Jake's back as the two break into sprints for the auditorium doors. The rest of the team follows behind with Mercedes, Mike and I taking up the end of the pack. I hold Mercedes even further back as Mike exits into the hall and we slowly make our way.
"Hey is Burt okay? Kurt's dad? Has Kurt been around?"
"Oh he's around," Mercedes croons. "Why do you think those purple dresses look so damn fierce? Kurt added the black crinolines this morning. And don't worry, he made one for Brittany too. And Burt is great. As of last week he's cancer free!"
"Good god! That is the best fucking news I've heard all day." I cheer, fist pumping my hands over my head.
Mercedes chortles, "When did you become a grown up Santana Lopez?"
"The first time I wrote my own rent check."
"Preach Girl! You don't have to tell me twice. Makes all this high school drama sound like a walk in the park, don't it?"
"You know it!"
"Ladies! Ladies! Ladies! Let me escort you to your seats!" Kurt exclaims, running up and wrapping his arms around each of our waists as if he could scoop us up. His arrival brings tears to my eyes so I grab him by his skinny little head and hug with my whole damn self.
"Santana! Golly! Didn't know how much you cared!" Then in a hushed whisper, "Did you see him? He's filled out. He's totally filled out, right? Like he looks more like a man than a boy right?"
"Yes, Kurt, Blaine is looking F-I-N-E!" Mercedes agrees with a smile.
My jaw drops.
"Oh my god Kurt. You were totally just hooking up with Blaine somewhere! That's who was missing! You DIRTY little man! Wipe that shit-eating grin off of your pretty little face! Here I am so excited about the great news about your dad and you're, oh my god. I can't."
"So don't!" Kurt sing-songs swinging Mercedes' and my hands by his sides as he practically skips us through the doors of the auditorium.
As we make our way to the empty seats near Mr. Shuster, we see Blaine scurry passed the general audience seating into the area where the other choirs are patiently waiting their turn. He slides into the row, passing Unique, when he turns around to smile at Kurt. He stops and sees me too. Looks at the floor. Looks up again and waves a sheepish little wave. "Thank you," he mouths and bows his head like a true gentleman, before turning to face the stage. Just then, the house lights go out, the audience goes wild, the lights on stage explode and the Waffletoots begin.
Halfway through a version of "Somewhere over the Rainbow" more suited for a nursing home than a show choir competition Sam scoots out of his row and tries to make a break for it. My guess is he's still trying to be the hero that finds and delivers Brittany.
But I'm sitting next to Ms. Pillsbury and Mr. Shue is right on the other side of her. When Sam tries to pass I don't really feel like I have a place to stop him but Shue reaches his long arm passed Ms. P, over me, and his fingertips graze Sam's arm. When he stops in his tracks the look Shue shoots him over my head has a harsher scolding than any words possibly could. Sam retreats. But stays in the aisle near by.
I pull my phone out and quickly shoot off a text.
To Britty Baby: Are you okay pumpkin? The second choir's set is almost over. What are you hiding from love? Meet us for show circle? xx
She replies almost instantly.
From Britty Baby: I'm right behind you. xo
I turn to see Brittany, with her hair neatly braided, her make up finished and an overwhelming sense of calm. She is radiant. When she smiles her eyes twinkle and I can't tell if it is the soft sheen of tears or the heavy application of some serious sparkly shadow, but either way, she's stunning.
When I smile at her she inhales sharply and the sound catches Sam's attention. He immediately pounces on her with a warm embrace and escorts her down to the rest of the team. I almost reach out after them as they pass but I know this really just isn't about me and for the next few hours I can step back and let Sam find the closure he needs.
But when Brittany looks back at me and her eyes glisten and smiles her most lovely and adoring smile, Ms. Pillsbury gasps and puts her hand gently on my shoulder and softly exclaims, "Santana!" Then she leans gently towards my ear, getting close enough that I can smell the gummy bears on her breath and whispers "Brittney's heart totally belongs to you, doesn't it?"
I can feel my cheeks flush. I've always had a soft spot for Emma Pillsbury because she always had a soft spot for love. I turned to her wiping a tiny tear from my cheek unable to conceal my smile. "Oh I know, Ms. P, I've had that shit on lock down since the seventh grade." She claps like a sea otter in approval. Her adorable excitement is almost too much.