CHAPTER 7 – CONFUSED

JUST like I predicted, the flips and knots in my stomach returned. I entered Biology, feeling like I was about to regurgitate a lunch I didn't even eat (I went with the Cullen approach of picking my food apart, but not eating it).

He was sitting there, as amazing as any other time I'd seen him. I sat down next to him, smiling politely, but he didn't react to my appearance. I frowned slightly, but my thoughts were interrupted by Mike, who wandered over.

"Hey, Bella, what's up?" he asked, sitting on the edge of my lab bench. I could have sworn I saw Jasper shift in his seat. The sudden proximity of Mike's blood probably upset him.

"Nothing," I said, trying to smile politely and hide my reluctance to talk to him.

"So I had a question, about Saturday …"

"I already told you, Mike, I'm not going," I said firmly.

"No, I meant next Saturday. I was wondering if you wanted to go out with me." He finished off his sentence with what I was sure he thought to be a dazzling smile.

Ugh. My sudden connection with Jasper flared as my mind turned to him, and my longing to be with him compromised any politeness I had left in me.

"Isn't it a bit far in advance?" I asked.

His smile shrank slightly, but he tried to keep up his confidence. "Well, yeah. But I wanted to make sure I got to you first." Even if Jasper wasn't watching, he was sure to notice they way Mike's eyes flickered to him and back.

I repressed a laugh. If he only knew how I felt for Jasper.

"I'm not sure it would be the best idea, Mike …" I trailed off.

He shrugged, his mood unaffected. "I'll just ask again later," he announced, before returning to his seat as Mr. Varner called the class to order.

I watched him leave with disbelief coloring my face. I worked to gather my expression as I felt embarrassment creeping up on me. Embarrassed that Jasper had to witness that.

I was trying to clear my mind of everything – Jasper, Mike, my second day here, Jasper – everything but listening to Mr. Varner's lecture. Two or three times, my rapt attention waned when Jasper fidgeted in his chair. Keeping up with their charade of being human must have become second nature to him; he would squirm in his chair or twitch as if he were uncomfortable.

When his lecture was done, Mr. Varner assigned our homework and gave us the last fifteen minutes of class to complete it.

I answered the first two questions in under fifteen seconds. In order to keep up my own human persona, I tried to daydream. I thought about the first day I saw Jasper. I remembered how confused he was, as I internally battled over my animosity towards the Cullens and his irresistibility. Then I thought about that night, when I'd met him for the second time and he taught me how to live above what I was.

He shifted another two times. After the second, I realized each movement slowly brought him away from me. My forehead creased and I looked down, intent on finishing the assignment (by now, most of the class made it all the way to number three).

My mind drifted again, though, by number ten. I thought about earlier today, when Jasper and I bonded over Macbeth. Who ever knew the tragedy could be so romantic? But that memory was tarred, tainted by the note on which he left. Something bothered him about the way I acted, but I couldn't put my finger on it.

The bell rang and he rushed out, leaving me feeling even more desirous for him than before. I wanted to know why I bothered him.

I moped out of the class, trying to cheer myself by remembering I had gym next, so I could get back at Mike for being so damn confident.

And I did. I managed to clip his shoulder with my badminton racket, but at the right angle so it actually hurt him. I hit myself with it on my swing back, though, and needed to smooth the dent out of the racket when no one was looking.

I managed to escape Mike's presence by hiding in the locker room this time. He waited for a minute, but decided to leave to grab ice from the nurse before going home.

I smiled with vindictive pleasure as I left. I took the long way towards the parking lot, avoiding Mike. Unfortunately he decided to stop right where I was headed and talk to some boy from our lunch table whose name I didn't know.

I was stuck hiding behind the office building. Luckily, no one would see me back here, so I leaned against the back wall and exhaled, feeling slightly pathetic as I hid from a mere human, hormone-filled boy.

My attention was caught – not by the sweet voice of the lady at the front desk, asking if she could help him, but – by his voice.

He began persuading her, using his attractiveness to his advantage. He was trying to change a class. Biology. To another class. Any other class.

And he succeeded. I sank down the wall I leaned against, upset beyond belief. I couldn't help but think it was because of me. Why else would he?

I listened to him walk to his family's car and close the door. The engine started and the car stalled, waiting for another car to move, I guessed.

"It's nothing," I heard Jasper murmur.

"Jasper," I heard one of his brothers warn.

Jasper sighed, but didn't say any more. Then, "So you changed your class?" the brother asked. Silence. "But it's just one human. You've been doing so well." He paused for a second and added, "If it's really that bad …."

I couldn't understand why I didn't hear Jasper's answers. And if he wasn't speaking at all, I wanted to know what faces he was making.

"But if it's not the bloodlust-"

"Just drop it, Edward," Jasper insisted. Then the engine's hum grew louder as I heard the car back out of the parking lot and drive away.

So Jasper did change his class because of me. But, if not for "the blood lust," then why?