Donni's part in the night's proceedings was over, but she felt it was deeply wrong to just retreat to her room and go to sleep, even though she doubted either of the participants had anything to say to her. She had the feeling that even if Loghain had been warming up to her, she'd probably ruined that.
Well to dust with it. And to dust with him. She didn't want to die, and certainly wasn't prepared to commit suicide for at least another thirty years. She was a rogue, and she always had a, how had Morrigan put it? A loop for every hole. An ace up her sleeve, a plan B.
At least, that's how she was rationalising it. He really hadn't looked happy, even by his usual standards of cheerlessness.
She'd expected it to be the most excruciating conversation she'd ever taken part in, but the reality of it ended up being far worse. Loghain misunderstanding her intentions hadn't helped. It wasn't like she was looking for his attention in the first place, but being rejected still stung.
So she paced restlessly up and down the battlements, watching her mismatched army trying to snatch what sleep it could, Gryphon trotting at her heels.
She wasn't expecting to see Morrigan. The witch looked just as calm and disinterested as she usually did, but she normally wasn't one to seek Donni out, and there was no other reason for her to be out on the battlements.
"Are you all right?" Donni asked, once they were close enough to speak quietly.
"Of course I am. He's a man, not an ogre."
"Yes, I know that." Morrigan gave her an odd look, and Donni continued, "I mean are you going to be all right?"
"I shall be fine. Mother and I made extensive plans."
"So it turns out," Donni said sourly, leaning against the cold stone and folding her arms. "I never figured you'd be the type to hang around for the victory party, but still. You're just gonna leave? Like that?"
"Yes," Morrigan said firmly. "And you've already agreed not to look for me."
"Somehow I think I'll have enough to do as it is."
"It was a surprise to me, but I shall miss you, I think. You've been a good friend."
"Thanks. I'm glad you were with us."
They stood in silence for a while, staring out at the lights of Redcliffe reflected in the lake.
Eventually Morrigan threw Donni an amused look, "He was not thinking of his dead wife."
"Huh?" Donni raised her eyebrows. "How do you know?"
"A man reliving a fond memory and a man indulging in pure fantasy are two different things, as I'm sure you're aware."
"Oh. I suppose." Donni wasn't going to argue the point. "Why are you telling me this?"
Morrigan merely smiled enigmatically, "Take care of yourself Donni. If you die tomorrow all of this would have been for naught."
"Well, I'll do my best." Donni sighed. "You know, you can come back. If things don't go as planned, I could try to help."
"Ah, foolish sentiment, indeed." Still, she was smiling.
Feeling a bit better about things, Donni headed back to her room, intent on getting what rest she could.
She met Loghain as he came up the stairs. His hair was wet. The shared a silent look of utter guilt for a few moments before they broke eye contact and hurried past each other. Donni knew she'd coerced him somehow, and even if it was potentially to save her own life, she didn't feel good about it.
Why he looked so guilty she didn't know. Anger would have made more sense.
She forced herself to put Loghain out of her mind. Tomorrow they were going to end the Blight or die trying.
Dawn came too quickly, and Donni buckled on her armour with fingers still clumsy from sleep. She did her hair and face and hurried down to meet the others, trying to avoid having to share a table with Loghain No such luck; they met at the stairs and exchanged 'good morning's without making eye contact.
Breakfast was an awkward affair, with Morrigan acting just as she usually did while the Grey Wardens snuck uncomfortable glances at her and occasionally at each other. Donni could handle embarrassing morning afters; she'd made her share of drunken mistakes after all, but when there was a third party involved and blithely complaining about the food, it was just a bit too much.
Back on the road again and Oghren and Leliana got into an argument over what was and what wasn't an appropriate marching song to raise peoples' spirits. Donni sided with Leliana, not just because she preferred her singing to Oghren's. She didn't feel like listening to Dwarven songs. Her past and her culture had little for her to be cheerful about.
Donni felt a sudden surge of pride for her group. They'd been drawn together by chance and occasionally coercion, and now they were marching beside her despite the danger. She'd never had friends like these before. She opened her mouth and joined in the chorus of Leliana's song, a bit out of key and uncertain of the words. The bard beamed at her.
She glanced over her shoulder and caught Loghain looking at her with an oddly wistful expression on his face. She was relieved he wasn't angry, but still, something had changed.
They ate on the move, and by evening they could see smoke on the horizon. Denerim. As they got closer they could smell it too, and above the towers the Archdemon flew.
"Anora." Donni heard Loghain's tortured groan. There was nothing they could do; hopefully she was locked away, safe for now, but they wouldn't know for certain until the battle was over.
Alistair stepped up, and he gazed at the group for a few moments, perhaps regretful. He said his part, he rallied the troops, and Donni was proud of him. He'd come good. And she was glad he wouldn't be facing the Archdemon with them; talking him out of sacrificing himself wouldn't have been easy.
They attacked the gates, the air full of ash and flaming arrows. Donni lost herself to the battle, occasionally catching glimpses of her companions, but her attention was focused only on the next darkspawn, the next kill.
And then they were clear.
A great cheer rose up, as the gates fell. Riordan beckoned them in close and outlined his strategy. Donni raised her eyebrows at Loghain; did the general approve? He nodded. They all knew that if the Archdemon didn't die, no careful strategy or number of troops could save them.
Donni clapped Zevran and Morrigan on the shoulders, and nodded at Loghain. She'd made her choice, even as Gryphon howled mournfully at being left behind. There was only time for brief farewells.
They entered through the marketplace, and Donni tossed Loghain the signalling horn. "I appreciate all the lessons, but I think you're better at that stuff than I am."
"I understand."
She barely recognised the place. Her eyes watered from the smoke, and soon her ears were dulled to the screams of battle. She'd never seen so many ogres in one place, and again and again she drove her blades into broad, leathery backs, Loghain holding off the creatures' fury as long as he could.
"Hard work, huh?" Zevran said, cheerfully wiping blood off his forehead.
"This is the easy bit."
She was right. Morrigan raised strange lightning storms, and summoned blizzards. Whatever managed to make it through the unseasonable weather found itself blinded and filleted. But it was slow, exhausting work. Hours crept by as they worked their way through the battered city while above them the Archdemon screamed.
Donni glanced up.
"Look!" She pointed as the huge creature seemed to stagger in mid-flight, a roar of pain and rage echoing off the buildings.
"The other Warden has made his move," Morrigan said. They couldn't see clearly what was going on, but they all saw Riordin fall.
"No." Donni raised her hands to her mouth. "Oh, Riordin."
Loghain bowed his head.
"The beast did not die," Morrigan said. It hadn't taken to the air again, but they could hear it on the top of the fort. "He merely wounded it."
"Yes, I know, thank you, Morrigan," Donni snapped. She set her jaw, "Let's finish the job."
Only when Loghain summoned help did they hear any news about what was going on in the rest of the city. The gates were still holding despite a surge of darkspawn, and Donni grinned, knowing her friends would hold the line. The rest of the news was confusing and contradictory, as a dozen skirmishes were won and lost, although the darkspawn seemed less organised now the Archdemon was injured.
They charged through Fort Drakon, and Loghain seemed vaguely amused when Donni claimed to know the way out of this prison as well.
"No cell can hold you?" he asked.
"They haven't built one yet that can."
When they reached the roof, Donni was struck by the sheer size of the beast.
"We're going to need help," she said, as Loghain raised the horn to summon the dwarves. "Ballista!" She pointed, and then started running towards the nearest one, Loghain at her heels. "This'll sting."
She kicked the trigger and the siege weapon discharged, sending an arrow the size of a sapling into the Archdemon's side.
"Yeah! Help me load another one. We'll weaken it from a distance." To her disappointment, the Archdemon took off, leaping to another part of the roof, out of range. She shrugged. So much for that idea.
Loghain cleared a path for them, battering darkspawn out of the way, ignoring everything but the Archdemon. He staggered as a genloc landed a mace on his back, and Donni decapitated it, but didn't slow down.
Donni heard Morrigan begin casting a spell and she ducked under Loghain's shield as they charged at the beast. The ground shook. Loghain raised his sword and Donni darted out between the creature's feet, seeking a soft underbelly in which to sink her blades.
The creature turned, knocking her down with the back of its leg, and she rolled out of the way of its talons, before striking at it again and again. All she could do was try and stay alive; she didn't know how much of the blood on her armour was her own, or even if her friends were alive or dead – no, there was Zevran, doing as she was, dancing under the creature's feet, his expression grim.
The Archdemon turned, and Donni was knocked flying by its tail, landing painfully on some rubble a few feet away.
"It's got Loghain!" She heard Morrigan call at her, the mage trying to keep a dozen darkspawn off her, surrounding herself in frost. Donni dragged herself to her feet, reeling from what was likely at least one cracked rib. The Archdemon threw its head back, a gleaming armoured figure in its massive jaws.
Loghain.
He was still alive, just, swinging his sword at the Archdemon's eye, his shield lost. Not him, she thought, she'd saved him twice over and she'd do it a third time if she had to. Donni forced down a health poultice, her stomach rebelling at yet more noxious herbs. She started to run.