"I swear if she's not down in two minutes I'm gonna drag her down the stairs by the hair!" Edmund seethed. It was almost nine-thirty in the morning and Susan still wasn't downstairs for breakfast. "What's she doing in there anyway? Going through every dress in her closet? Doing her makeup, as if she even needs any!" he ranted. Edmund was starving, Peter refused to start eating without her and Caspian was just staring at his plate with a stupid smile on his face at the mention of his sister. Gag. It was much too early in the morning to think about his best friend liking his sister. Just the thought was almost enough to make him lose his appetite. Almost. He hadn't had anything to eat for almost 12 whole hours (which was quite a feat for the young king). And nothing was scarier than a hungry Edmund.
Peter was almost as irritated as Edmund was. He had spent the whole night racking his brain about what could have possibly been so important as to go against Aslan's word and bring all four of them back. After four hours of tossing and turning he decided to go talk to the most logical person he knew (Susan) and see what she thought. He got out of bed and went down the hall to his sister's room only to find her bed totally empty. He checked the bathroom, the kitchen, Lucy's room but he couldn't find her anywhere.
On his way back to his room he somehow found himself in front of Caspian's door. Curious, he knocked lightly and hearing no reply cracked open the door. Caspian wasn't in his room either. Sleep after that was pointless; all he could think about was that boy and his little sister. He openly glared at Caspian all morning.
Just as Edmund stood up to go "drag her down the stairs by the hair" Susan hurried in, her hair still messed up and her dress wrinkled. She had woken up late still wearing Caspian's jacket and spent almost a half hour speechlessly staring at it and reliving every second of the previous night before she realized what time it was.
"I'm so sorry! I-""FINALLY!" Edmund yelled, leaping out of his chair and stuffing a whole muffin and a piece of sausage in his mouth. "What the heck were you doing up there?"He paused. "Scratch that, I really don't want to know. I've been waiting forever for you! Do you know how hard it is to be me surrounded by food and not be able to eat it!'' he whined. Susan giggled and smiled shyly at Caspian, who grinned ear to ear in return and politely pulled out her chair and took the seat next to her happily. "That's okay, I wasn't talking," Edmund said only to be ignored by his best friend and sister who both seemed to be completely concentrated at staring at anything but each other. He scoffed; this whole thing was so silly, this tension between them. Edmund knew exactly how Susan felt about Caspian and he was obviously head over heels crazy about her so why were they being like this? He sighed melodramatically and changed the subject to something that didn't make him want to vomit.
"So Cas, what's on the agenda today? CAS? Caspian? Hey, Cas?" he leaned across the table and clapped loudly inches from his friends face "CASPIAN!'' he yelled. The Telmarine king jolted in his chair "Huh what, oh…uh I hadn't really thought about it… but I suppose you had better meet the council. They will certainly want to meet you," he almost growled. He really, truly hated the council. Nothing but a bunch of pompous nagging old men bent on telling him exactly what he was screwing up and how badly and continuously heckling him about getting married…
An hour and a half later the five monarchs were marching through the hallway, dressed in their elegant finery with their crowns perched neatly on their heads. Caspian was dreading the Pevensies meeting his rude council. He was especially worried about the council's reaction to the queens of old. A woman hadn't set foot in the council room for over 1300 years, let along helped to run the county. In their minds eye, a queen's only purpose was to produce an heir and host important balls and dinners for important knights and kings. The Telmarine lords openly expressed their opinions about the subject, which was exactly what Caspian was afraid of.
Seeing his obvious worry, Susan discreetly gave his hand a quick squeeze and an encouraging smile. His heart did a little somersault in his chest as he smiled back at her and twined his fingers through hers, making her blush a little and temporarily stop breathing. He caught Peter's disproving scowl and quickly dropped her hand and casually stepped a few inches away from Susan. If looks could kill, Caspian would have been a mangled mess on the floor.
They finally came to the heavy door leading to the Telmarine council room. Lucy giggled slightly at Caspian, who looked as if he were preparing to meet his maker. Even Peter laughed. "Wow Caspian, you look terrified. Who knew your own council had bigger effect on you than 600 Telmarine's dead set on running you through with a sword?" he teased jovially. "I'm not afraid they just never listen to me! All they can do is nag and prod and heckle me about meeting a wealthy lord's daughter or a princess and getting married…" Caspian stopped dead in his tracks and looked cautiously at Susan who was suddenly very interested in the pattern on the carpet. Edmund sighed haughtily, threw open the door and shoved Caspian into the throne room.
The nine lords stopped whispering immediately and turned their full attention on their king. "Good afternoon Gentlemen. I assume you've all heard the rumors about the return of the Kings and Queens of Old. Those rumors are very true, furthermore, gentlemen, I would like to introduce you to High King Peter the Magnificent, King Edmund the Just, Queen Lucy the Valiant and- Queen Susan the Gentle," He fumbled over her name, his voice dripping with affection.
Susan and Lucy curtseyed formally and Edmund and Peter gave a curt bow to the Telmarine Lords. The lords all stood and bowed extravagantly to the four legendary monarchs. The oldest lord, Lord Octavos, rose from his seat ostentatiously. "Your majesties, I cannot begin to express how honored I am to be in the presence of the subjects of so many…fairy-tales and such. Your leadership is legendary," he said, pretentiously striding forward and once again bowing very low to Peter and Edmund and shaking their hands. He spoke not a word to the queens, barely glanced at Susan and Lucy kissed their hands absently.
Susan did not like this man at all. His features were cold and sharp and his eyes had a cruel glint to them. She could tell by the way he carried himself he was a very proud man who definitely was not afraid to tell anyone exactly what he thought of them. His presence made her uneasy and edgy. "Of course there will be a ball to celebrate the unexpected return of the kings, I'm sure her majesties would like that very much," he said pompously, voice dripping with disdain. . Susan and Lucy looked at each other and discreetly rolled their eyes.
Caspian stiffly walked to the front of the room and swept his arm towards the four thrones behind him. The four Pevensies all sucked in a mouthful of air. There they were, the legendary four thrones at Cair Paravel, still waiting for them. Tears prickled in Susan's eyes as she remembered what it was like sitting in that throne, a twenty-eight year old woman. The four siblings exchanged eager glances and sank into their thrones happily, relishing in the feel of the stone against their skin.
Murmurs and concerned whispers floated through the air as the two queens sat down. Caspian stifled a groan and rubbed his temple. Of course, Lord Octavos spoke first. "Forgive me my queens, but surely your majesties are not planning to attend the Telmarine council of lords? With all due respect, this council is designed strictly for the kings and the lords specifically chosen by the people of Telma- I mean Narnia. This is a place for bussiness, not party planning and ball preparations.'' he said angrily. Susan arched her eyebrows and sat up straighter. "Oh really? So sorry but it sounds to me you are underestimating the authority and leadership of my sister and I, Lord... Octavos was it?" he nodded spitefully and Susan continued.. I have attended more than a few "meetings of kings" in my time and Queen Lucy and I do know a thing or two about ruling a country," she said, trying very hard to be as polite and diplomatic as possible. The lord's face flamed. "Yes, her majesty clearly has experience leading hundreds of Narnians to their deaths over some handsome Calormen prince and his silly tricks," he hissed through his teeth.
Susan recoiled as if she had been slapped and the blood drained out of her face. She could feel hot tears building up behind her eyelids. Lucy gasped and Edmund sprang from his throne, his face a thundercloud. He gripped the arm of his throne so hard his knuckles turned white. "You little-!" he yelled only to be cut off by Caspian who crossed the room in two strides and was now towering over the proud lord, his hands trembling with rage "How DARE you speak to her that way! How dare you question her leadership? How DARE you! You pompous, arrogant, pessimistic idiot!" he screeched, storming out of the throne room followed by two seething brothers and Lucy towing a much shaken Susan behind her.
Susan sat on the bench in the garden in the courtyard in Cair Paravel, her knees pulled up to her chest, taking deep calming breaths. She had tried every day for the last four years to forget about that man. That horrible, horrible man who had fooled her with his sweet words and gentle touches. That horrible man who she had thought was in love with her and would take care of her. The horrible man who locked her up in his dungeon and threatened to kill her brother if she didn't marry him. The horrible man who had been her first love and had broken her.
Edmund would always blame himself for what Rabadash had tried to do to her; would always say he should of protected her, kept her safe, stayed close to her and kept a closer eyes on the prince, if you could call him that. He had felt horrible for months. He should have seen it coming, should have never agreed to let her go in the first place although his blood ran cold at the thought of what he would have done to her if Edmund hadn't seen them and pulled the creep off of her. What he would have given to save her from the pain that man put her through.
But Susan would always blame herself for what happened to her. Her siblings hadn't liked that man from the second he stepped foot in the Cair. They had told her to be careful of him and not to let his sweet words blind her and go to her head. But she hadn't listened. Oh no, Queen Susan was too bloody proud to listen to them and had told them she could take care of herself and not to worry about her. And she was so, so horribly wrong and her people had paid for it with their lives.
People had lost their brothers, lovers, husbands, and sons because of her. Children grew up without fathers, women cried over their son's body and young girls lost their first loves because of her foolishness. She would never, ever forgive herself or stop seeing the blood of so many on her hands. Tears she had held in for months started pouring down her face in torrents. Deep sobs rocked her body and tore through her heart, guilt overpowering her sore heart.
All she could see in her head was that man standing over her, laughing his cruel laugh and jeering at her stupidity and the look on her little brothers face when he saw them. All she could hear were mothers, wives, daughters and lovers wailing over their loved ones bodies, sobbing deep gulping sobs that tore at her heart. And she wailed and screamed and cried along with them. She cried for her little brother who would never feel okay about himself again, she cried for her older brother who would always blame himself for not going himself or even allowing her to visit him in Calormen in the first place. She cried for the lives that had been lost and the children who would never see their fathers and for the mothers who would never kiss their husbands again.